Did you know that your integrity or lack of it also influences people’s perception of your Executive Presence?

Now believe it or not but it does and in this video I’m going to show you 7 ways to clearly show others your true integrity.

Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript

Hi, I’m Vatsala Shukla, Chief Encouragement Officer of Karmic Ally Coaching and before I show you these 7 ways, I wanted to actually give a bit of background about why it’s so important for me to talk about integrity to you.

You see, many times I’m asked questions on Quora from professionals who want to know whether they should embellish their resumes for jobs or how far they can actually go in, you know, writing lies on their resumes.

And each time, I have actually shown them and told them that it is not a good idea because employers do verifications and anything that turns up as being a falsehood on their resumes can actually lead to action and in some countries you can even get imprisoned for it because that is criminal.

Now what inspired me to talk about integrity today is a recent question where somebody asked me how much can I falsify my resume?

And I had to say, no you cannot because that is indicative of a lack in integrity.

And in fact, even if the person did manage to get the interview, the question is, what would happen when the employer would find out that he had lied? In fact, I want to ask you to consider it and answer this question….

That would you consider this person worthy of hiring?

I certainly wouldn’t because if you can lie in your resume, then God knows what else you can lie about. It shows a lack of integrity.

Now, Integrity is the type of concept that everyone knows, but sometimes they struggle to understand it because we know we want to have integrity, we know we want to work with people who have it.

But, we sometimes get lost on how to do it.

While living a life of integrity isn’t always easy, it is simple. There are going to be times when you are going to be in conflict and you will have to learn how to manage it.

But if you want to embrace integrity in your life, then just follow these seven steps:

#1 Know Your Values

The first and most important one is to Know Your Values because a big part of integrity is actually being true to your morals and values. And if you don’t take the time to define them, then it’s tough to be true to them, obviously.

So, take some time to brainstorm the values that are important for you. In fact, you can find resources on my website that can help you to do that.

#2 Strive for Honesty

The second one is to always strive for Honesty because that is another very important aspect of integrity.

You cannot claim to live with integrity if you are regularly telling lies. Which is coming back to the same question that I was asked about embellishing of the resume.

And if you find yourself in a spot where you feel you have to lie, then try to say nothing instead. Or be brave enough to tell the truth. People will respect you for that.

#3 Keep Your Promises

The third one is to keep your promises because a promise isn’t something to be thrown around lightly. And if you promise something to someone, you must try your best to make it work.

If you are the type of person who promises big things but never delivers, then nobody will take you seriously. In fact it shows that you’re not sincere.

#4 Show Compassion

The fourth one is Compassion and showing it. A lot of people tend to think being compassionate is a sign of weakness but it actually isn’t.

In fact people who are able to show compassion show that they have strength. If you are trying to live a life of great integrity, then treating others with respect and empathy should actually be the norm not the exception.

#5 Stand for Something

Now this one is one of my favorites and that is to stand for something.

I’m not saying that you have to be a social justice warrior or join organizations or go on a candle lit march, unless of course you want to, but you should have a cause (or a few) that you feel strong enough to stand up for.

It could be animal rights, it could be elderly abuse. It could be wildlife preservation, conservation, environmentalism. Anything. Something that you are passionate about because this shows you care about important things.

It shows you have a backbone, and are true to your values. And these are all characteristics of someone with integrity.

Now people may not always be happy if you stand up for something that you believe to be correct but at the end of the day they will respect you for taking a stand. So I suggest take a stand for something.

#6 Don’t Always Follow the Crowd

And then naturally don’t always follow the crowd. This is something you always have to remember – it’s always easier to follow the crowd.

And ask yourself, will this showcase my integrity?

If you believe in what the majority is saying, that is one thing. But if you have strong feelings about something, don’t be quieted just because you are in the minority.

And this is one reason why bullying often takes place in schools because the bully, the person who is doing the bullying is able to overwhelm others who may feel meek or feel scared that if they speak out against something which is wrong, then they might become the next target.

And yes, as children that is very scary but just as children may feel they are in a minority and may keep quiet that doesn’t mean that you as an adult should not speak out when it is time to speak up out, especially if you do not agree with the crowd.

#7 Be Humble

And then the last one is, be humble. Humility. There is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself.

There’s also nothing wrong with tooting your own horn or self-promoting yourself, especially if you’ve done a good job but everything has to be within limits.

People with integrity don’t feel the need to scream about their accomplishments (or worse, embellish them) constantly.

They don’t need to go on social media and keep bragging about themselves. Sometimes it’s good to be a little self-deprecating, be a little humble. People love humility.

So in all, when it comes to integrity, here are the points I’d like you to remember.

And that is, integrity means, you are who you say you are. You do what you say you’ll do and live according to the moral code you profess.

You do more than just being honest, ethical and compliant. And you do what’s right at all times and in all contexts despite the cost. You stay rooted in and true to your value base.

And you have an ongoing commitment to value fidelity. Your commitment to staying internally and externally true.

About Internal Congruence

Now when I mentioned staying in integrity internally and externally true, I want to point out a few things about internal congruence.

And what this means in terms of integrity is that when you are keenly aware of who you and what you value and you strive to make decisions in support of your values and that shows you are in integrity internally.

Your thoughts, words, and actions “match” are going to match what you value and believe to be morally good and right. And this is important because integrity makes it easier for others to trust which is important if you are aspiring to a Leadership role.

And all of this Internal Congruence part begins with self-awareness.

Because External Congruence would mean matching your values and your integrity with those of external forces, like with your employer or with your social situation but today, here we are just looking at you and your integrity.

Integrity Building Exercise

There’s a simple exercise you may want to try out.

And that is, it’s a 3 step one. Firstly, take some time to define your values right now. What is important to you? What do you truly believe in? And this was the first way that I had mentioned earlier.

Then make a list of the people in your life that you interact with regularly. Do any of these people suffer a severe lack of integrity? If yes, then consider how you might limit interactions with them.

Because if you are in the wrong kind of company then it is very easy to fall into their ways rather than maintaining those that are true to you.

And thirdly, as you might have guessed, is to choose a cause near and dear to your heart. This cause should fit in with the values you brainstormed earlier. And then figure out a way that you can support this cause and take the first steps towards doing so.

In doing all of this you will develop your integrity muscle which in turn is going to help you to develop your Executive Presence and you will not wonder whether you should be embellishing resumes or how far you can tell a lie in order to get ahead with your career or your life.

When you are ready, I have another article which is going to help you in your workplace on how to convince people you’re an expert with integrity.

And this one, this article is going to actually show you how when you are an expert you can actually demonstrate it to others without feeling that you are out of your own integrity space.

So that’s all from me for now. This is Vatsala Shukla signing off. See you in my next Executive Presence Tip.

So you’ve got great Executive Presence and people experience it when you’re in the room but what about after you’ve left? Are you memorable?

Now this is coming out of a communication that I had with a subscriber of mine who had tried the Karmic Ally Coaching Executive Presence Checklist and she told me that people told her she had Executive Presence, she felt she had it and YET she was also told she wasn’t memorable!

Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript

Now I don’t think that’s a very good thing because when you are trying to build up your career and go places, then you shouldn’t be like a one hit wonder on the Top of the Pops List but more like an evergreen song.

So are you?

Hi, I’m Vatsala Shukla, Chief Encouragement Officer at Karmic Ally Coaching and today I’m going to be looking at how to become memorable when you’ve got great Executive Presence.

But first things first. Do you believe you’re memorable? Hold that thought and let us go through this and then of course, we’ll come back to this question.

But first things first let’s get on the same page.

And that is, what’s being memorable?

Now there’re lots of definitions in the dictionary and the one that I’ve chosen comes from the Cambridge Dictionary, which defines Memorable as being “likely to be remembered or worth remembering”.

So it’s not just that, there are a lot of other things that are involved in being memorable.

And that is,

Are you memorable for the right or the wrong reasons?

Now let me give you an example. On the left hand side, there’s this lovely Chinese restaurant and in fact, when this lady had written to me, I told her it could be a matter of communication and that of course its better not to be remembered than to be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

It immediately took me back to a restaurant that I used to frequent as a student days in my London days in the late 1980s called Wong Kei. And it was famous for all the wrong reasons.

The biggest one being the waiters were very, very, very rude. You know they’d shout at you to Sit down, shout at you if you asked for a fork and knife, shout at you and run after you if you did not give a suitable tip. The food was divine.

And I suspect all of us went there more for the experience of rude waiters rather than anything else. Of course the management changed I believe in the early 2000’s and after that the waiters became friendlier.

But even today, 30 odd years later, I remember Wong Kei as much for the food, as much for the rude waiters and the way they slammed stuff on the table.

On the right hand side we’ve got this really nice, three course meal dinner table and that one is related to another story that I remember about Dale Carnegie, the one who wrote about how to win friends and influence people.

He actually tells a story about how he got a great sales opportunity at a dinner table party where he sat next to a man who spoke for 4 hours non-stop allowing Carnegie to only speak for about two minutes.

But, at the end of all of it, this man declared that “Dale Carnegie is the best conversationalist I’ve ever met”. I mean, when you’ve only spoken for 2 minutes?

Well here’s the deal. Mr Carnegie used active listening and showed he was interested in this gentleman. And the rewards were that he was remembered and he was given an awesome sales opportunity.

Now given a choice, which one would you want? Would you want to be memorable for the right or the wrong reasons?

Adopt a positive body language

So here’s a quick tip also inspired by the Carnegie story and that is to adopt a positive body language because that is a silent but powerful communicator.

In other words, your posture, facial expressions, your gestures, they all convey volumes about your Executive Presence.

And I’ve actually got a blog post that goes deeper into the posture for Executive Presence, but in the coming slide there are some quick wins.

Firstly, there are 3 keys to positive body language.

The first is of course good posture where you stand tall, shoulders back, straight back.

You know, when you stand tall, people tend to remember you more than a slouchy person. Unless you’re the hunchback of Notre Dame, which I know you are not.

The other one is holding an open position, you know, a relaxed look with arms and legs uncrossed, fists unclenched, open palms, you’re inviting people to converse with you.

And thirdly is just smile and maintain good eye contact because that also indicates receptivity and it creates trust.

So based again on our story and a few other things, here are some more quick wins that you can use to become memorable.

Firstly, you need to make an extra effort to remember people’s names. Mr Carnegie has gone as far as to say the sweetest sound to anybody’s ears is the sound of his own name.

Make everyone feel important by paying full attention to him or her. Make them feel like they’re the only person in the room and that they’re the only people who matter even if you don’t feel so but you know building trust with the other person.

Show curiosity and interest in others and develop the skill of active listening. You know, there’s too much hearing going on in the world right now and not enough listening. So if you can develop this skill, you’re much ahead of others.

Of course display a sense of humor and become a good conversationalist by keeping abreast of current events. At least listen to the news if not read the daily papers and know what’s going on in your industry.

Most importantly, please don’t drone away and bore people to sleep. You know, speak concisely short to the point. Nobody has time to hear a whole story before you get to the point.

And always ask people for their opinions. I mean, people love the sound of their own voice. They like to feel heard.

Do not interrupt when someone’s talking and most importantly give compliments.

Be genuine when giving compliments. Just make sure you’re not coming across as being insincere.

And if you also need to develop some Executive Presence AND be memorable, here are 5 ways you can do it.

Firstly, create a great first impression. You know your first impression is critical and once its done its done.

You won’t be able to take it back even if turns out you’re the best person to help the other person across you, for a very important job interview as well as for a very important promotion if there is somebody who doesn’t know you who’s doing the interviewing. I’ve also got a blog post on that. I’ll share the link with you.

The second one is own your uniqueness.  I’d love to say take ownership of your quirks but maybe your uniqueness is the better way to put it across because when you blend in, nobody remembers you but if you actually differentiate yourself for all the right reasons, now remember you’re not going to want to be remembered like the rude waiters at Wong Kei restaurant.

Instead, you’ll want people to remember you for something better. So own up to your uniqueness.  Use it.

Practice the Law of Giving. The world nowadays is so full of me, me, me. People are always trying to take and not give. Be generous. Give things. If you can add value to someone’s life, do it. If you know somebody who’s a good fit, use your network skill to connect people.

All of that comes under the Law of Giving and again I’ve got a blog post and I’ll give you a link for that.

And fourthly work on developing your expertise.  In other words, don’t try to be a jack of all trades. People remember things that are superlative.

So you need to first find out your superpowers then integrate it into everything you do. Be consistent about it. Let people remember you for all the right reasons.

If you’re great at storytelling, use storytelling tell anecdotes in your conversations with people. They will remember you for it.

Or if you’ve got a special style of doing things, stick to it. If you’re great, good at giving presentations, stick to the presentation giving in the office rather than trying to be at the back-end of things.

And most importantly, always keep a positive optimistic attitude. You know, there’s enough negativity going around you. You don’t want to be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

You don’t want someone saying if there’s an opportunity coming up for you for a leadership role or something that’s a task or a project that can take your career places, you don’t want to be shut off from that just because someone says ‘oh you know, this person has a negative attitude or this person is very difficult to work with.”

Instead, optimistic positive people keep brightening up the room wherever they go and that too is a part of Executive Presence. It’s part of your WOW factor. So keep a positive attitude. Work on it.

And if you’re feeling curious then this is the exact Executive Presence Checklist that my subscriber used in order to determine if she had Executive Presence and as it turned out she did but she wasn’t memorable.

So now that I’ve told you how to be memorable why not also check out whether you have all these 15 professional habits that indicate Leadership Presence and your Executive Presence of course.

Besides its free. So you have nothing to lose. Other than pay with your email address and download it and there’s a lot more that goes along with this.

So coming back full circle, try the suggestions that I gave you for improving your memorability and then let me know, are you being memorable for all the right reasons?

I look forward to reading your comments. And that’s all for now. See you soon in my next set of Executive Presence Tips. This is Vatsala Shukla signing off. Bye.

Are you concerned you might not be making a good first impression when it matters or demonstrating Executive Presence?

If yes, then I’ve got 3 rules for you which will make positive impact.

Watch the video below or read on and take action today.

There’s a lot more that goes into Executive Presence than simply showing up and wowing everybody in the corporate workplace. In fact, it starts much earlier.

In a previous video, I showed you how to use your posture to position yourself for success.

And as we continue on this series of Executive Presence Tips, today we’re going to look at a situation where you have to wow a person on a one-to-one basis or a one-to-many basis and not just, you know, have an aura full of Executive Presence.

Click here for Karmic Ally Coaching’s Executive Presence Special Offer

You can continue reading the transcript below

Hi, my name is Vatsala Shukla and I’m the Chief Encouragement Officer at Karmic Ally Coaching. And today I’m going to be looking at how you can create a great first impression.

But first, I have a question for you.

Do you feel like this when thinking of making the right first impression?

If you answered yes, then I’m not surprised. Most of us are scared that we may make the wrong first impression.

Now this goes back to our lizard brain and prehistoric times when survival required we be in a group and we wanted the other person to like us.

So if you get nervous about whether you will make a right first impression at an important meeting or in a job interview don’t worry. Welcome to the club. All of us have that feeling from time to time.

But the good news is that while making a great first impression isn’t always easy, it’s well worth a try.

And in this training, I’m going to be sharing with you 3 simple rules that you should always follow.

Whether it’s in the corporate world, whether it’s in your personal life, these 3 simple rules will make sure that you will always create a good first impression.

Rule #1 Dress To Impress

So my first rule is to always dress to impress. In other words, pay attention to what you’re wearing. Because, the first thing a person will notice about you is how you are appearing and your clothes.

Now if you’re going in for an important meeting make sure you know that you’re dressed appropriately for the meeting. The hair must be in place, the shoes must be correct, the dress should suit the occasion.

If it’s a very important first meeting you may want to overdress just a little but whatever you do, just make sure it’s neat and flattering.

As you can see in this image, this lady is all dressed to impress. Everything about her is coordinated.

The only thing I would say for her is that if she was smiling a little instead of looking so ambivalent, perhaps she’d make an even better first impression.

So the bonus tip is – have a gentle smile. And of course you can always let your personality shine after you’ve made that great first impression

Rule #2 Be On Time

The second rule which is a very important one is to be on time. In other words, be punctual because that makes you look prepared and reliable.

And in fact a lot of people get very irritated when others are late for meetings.

I remember when I was working in the corporate world you could actually tell the interviewer or senior at a meeting was irritated or not depending on whether on how you sauntered in late for the meeting or whether you were actually seen ready to go in to the meeting and in today’s day and age, that also works for your online conference meeting.

So be prepared, make sure you get there on time or even a little early because even if the other person is casual and relaxed about timing,  it will still make you look good and it will still give a very good first impression that yes, this person is serious.

Rule #3 Think Before You Speak

And then the third rule which I’m sure you have heard even as a child is to always think before you speak.

You know, you may be nervous or may be wanting to create a great impression but if you’re going to start prattling away about everything and anything, it’s not going to make a very good impression.

In fact the other person might just wonder, hey, who is this person? And also, if you don’t think before you talk, it’s very easy to put your foot in your mouth. And it’s not a good feeling and definitely it ruins that first impression.

And this is important even when you’re having discussions with your boss or in a meeting where you are supposed to be making a contribution or adding value to the team, always think first, and then formulate your thoughts and put it across.

This holds when you’re in a job interview or in an interview for a senior position because it shows that you are reflecting and then giving a solid answer.

Now if you want more quick win actions, then you’d like to have a look at this particular ebook of mine where we’re actually going to assess your strengths against the 3 Pillars of Executive Presence.

I’ll be showing you 2 ways to showcase your Gravitas or WOW Factor and also again, how to use your body to convey confidence and subtly hint your IT Factor. A link to this ebook is given below this video.

Click here for Karmic Ally Coaching’s Executive Presence Workbook.

Recap of Great First Impression Rules

So just to recap, the first rule is you’re going to dress to impress. The second rule is you’re going to be on time and the third rule is that you’re going to think before you speak.

Now there are many other rules but if you can master these three, you’re going to be much ahead of the competition.

And in fact, I’ve got a little homework for you.

Use these three rules the next time you meet a new person and then let me know, did the other person get a great first impression of you? In fact if you feel that something went wrong, then you might want to ponder, where did I get it wrong?

So enjoy applying these three rules and all the best in showing that you’ve got Executive Presence the next time you meet someone in a corporate setting and for the first time and you need to make that great first impression.

Resource mentioned in training video

Have you ever wondered why there are some people who the minute they walk into the room, all eyes turn on them as if, you know, they’ve got this aura and are attracted to them?

That’s what Executive Presence is all about and the good news is that through a series of Executive Presence Tips, I’m going to show you how to get a few quick wins while you actually work on developing your Executive Presence.

Click here for Karmic Ally Coaching’s Executive Presence Special Offer

You can continue reading the transcript below:

Hi, my name is Vatsala Shukla and I’m the Chief Encouragement Officer at Karmic Ally Coaching. Today’s tip is about posture to promote powerful presence.

But before I get into this tip, I want to ask you a quick question.

Is your posture powerful?

Now think about it and let me know because you can be one of two.

Now there is a cat, there are a couple of cat pictures in this presentation but that is only to prove a point.

Would you say you’re a cat face palm? Or would you say you’re the cool cat on the right side?

The point is the cool cat on the right side has Executive Presence.

So if you’re not aware of Executive Presence. Or you’ve heard the word being bandied about but aren’t quite sure what it means, here’s a quick and short explanation.

It’s basically trying to define the undefinable.

It’s that certain something that makes people take notice of you like I was telling you earlier about walking, a person walking into a room and all eyes turning on them.

It’s actually a quality   that creates a memorable impact.

And it’s the ability to exude confidence, make your presence felt and that is often called Charisma.

In fact, in all the definitions that I went researching about Executive Presence and Leadership, one common thread that I found in all of them was that it is the ability of an effective leader to motivate group action in a particular direction, irrespective of the means.

Here is the statistics from a particular survey done by The Center for Talent Innovation where they actually surveyed 268 senior executives and findings indicated:

Executive Presence accounts for 26% of what’s required to be promoted and it also depended on getting 3 things right:

• Gravitas, which is that unexplainable WOW factor
• Communication, which will mean both overt and covert meaning what you’re saying as well as how you’re communicating it and
• Your Appearance.

Now the good news is that the posture part is going to help you with both the communication part as well as appearance.

And here’s a quick tip. If you want a quick win and start demonstrating Executive Presence, while at least from the body part, it is to adopt positive body language because your body language is a silent but powerful communicator.

In other words, your posture, facial expressions, and gestures convey volumes about your Executive Presence.

So, what does positive body language look like?

Before I give you that answer, I want you to have a thorough look at this photograph where this lecturer or presenter is talking to an audience. He is actually exuding Executive Presence through his posture.

What 3 things or 4 things can you think about that is demonstrating what I am talking about?

If you want, you can stop this video right now, think about it and then resume to get the answer.

3 Keys to positive Body Language

These are the 3 things I have found you will find, and they are also the 3 keys to positive body language.

Firstly, it was good posture. You’ll notice the presenter is standing tall, he’s got his shoulders back and the back is very straight.

Also, he’s got an open position. There’s a relaxed look about his arms, his legs are uncrossed, and his palms are open. They are not fists and on top of it. He is smiling and maintaining good eye contact thus he is indicating that while he is talking, he is also open to receptivity, and he is building trust.

I am going to be forever grateful to my class, one of my class teachers back in boarding school who used to walk around while all of us were having our meals in the Mess. And if she saw any girl slouching or bending, she would immediately say, ‘straight backs, straight backs, straight backs’.

And that is in fact one of the tips I’m going to give you in order to develop a good posture.

First one as I said is to sit straight. In fact when you keep your back straight, you’re reducing any kind of pressure that you’re putting on your spinal cord and your entire body actually functions better. In fact it’s also good in case you’re getting a flabby tummy from a sedentary lifestyle at the desk.

So sit straight.

Also walk with your back straight. In other words, when you’re walking, your hips are aligned with your legs, your shoulders are back and your chin is lifted upwards a bit so that everything is in line.

And if you want to test if you’re walking with your back a straight back, then you can do one thing that we were taught to do.

It is, put a heavy book on your head. Not so heavy that you crash, but heavy enough that you are required to balance it as you walk up and down and turn around.

That is going to show you a) can you walk straight? And b) whether you are walking with your back straight because if you start to slouch, that book is going to fall.

So 3 things – sit straight, walk with your back straight and stop slouching.

Now let’s have a look at another image.

This presenter who’s lecturing.

He’s got the attention of his audience. Again, what are you seeing?

He’s got a straight back. You can see he’s maintaining eye contact with the audience in front of him and his hands are open.

He’s using his body to communicate his message.

And that is what you are also required to do if you want a quick win to start exuding Executive Presence.

It’s all in the posture.

Now, if you want some more quick wins, then of course you can get my short but very important book on 5 actions that you can use to raise your Executive Presence and demonstrate to your employers your leadership potential.

The link to this ebook is going to be given below this video and you can check it out and see if that’s what you want and need.

Click here to see the Executive Presence workbook

But for now and for this moment I would like you to try out the tips I’ve given you for size and then let me know in the comments that did your changing your posture actually make you feel powerful?

Go one step further and do it when you’re in the presence of others and then observe their reactions and their comments and do let me know.

Practice it every day until it becomes a habit and go for gold.

Resource mentioned in training video

Based in India? Use the Let’s Talk Contact Form with the Subject Executive Presence Power Coaching Session and I’ll forward the next step.  

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If for some reason you’re not redirected, please send me an email at vatsala(at)karmicallycoaching(dot)com with details of your purchase and I’ll get a link to you asap.

Since Karmic Ally Coaching is offering non-tangible irrevocable goods, we do not issue refunds once the order is accomplished and access is granted to the product. As a customer, you are responsible for understanding this upon purchasing any item from this website.

If you have any questions or concerns, please ask in advance of purchase at vatsala(at)karmicallycoaching(dot)com.

Do you believe self-promotion in the workplace is for braggarts and good work speaks for itself?

This isn’t a trick question because that belief won’t take your career places. That’s what this professional who delivered 100% of the time realized at a crucial point of her career track.

To be honest with you, I felt bad for her. Really bad because I knew what had happened. There wasn’t much we could do about it other than consider a new option that would give her the validation she sought.

This competent high achieving professional was paying a high price for not doing enough self-promotion.

The background story was a particular position promised to her 2 years down the line if she met the goals her manager had set for her. The Key Performance Indices were challenging but achievable.

The lady was not only on target but had achieved more in year 1. But sometime in the course of year 2, there was a change of plan.

Her manager apologetically informed her the prize position at the end of the year was going to a relatively new employee. He hadn’t yet earned his stars but the top boss was impressed with him. Nothing could be done about it.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this.

A few years back one of my coaching clients asked for a session purely focused on this topic. Again, it was about colleagues who made complete fools of themselves in meetings without having complete data or facts. Yet they seemed to shine while she stayed in the background.

What neither realized was that their colleagues knew how to get others to notice them and stand out.

It’s something Bonnie Marcus discusses at the very beginning of her book The Politics of Promotion.

In fact, those competitive colleagues were demonstrating Executive Presence. Get your copy of this checklist by clicking the below image.

Nobody likes a person who boasts, brags or shows off. Especially when its done to make other people feel lacking or less competent.

In fact, the Oxford Dictionary definition of self-promotion is “the action of promoting or publicizing oneself or one’s activities, especially in a forceful way”.

But I have a question for you.

What does it cost you if you claim credit for something you have achieved?

Nothing at all, and it can actually open up opportunities. However, many of us are afraid to take credit for our successes as it feels uncomfortable. We may feel we will be seen as bragging or tooting our own horn.

These feelings can be related to our feelings of self-worth, but other aspects can have an effect too.

How we were raised and the expectations put on us in our formative years can greatly influence our relationship with ‘going public.’

Many families, societies, and cultures express disapproval with outward expression that is considered healthy or even admirable in others.

Self-Promotion is an art worth mastering for the sake of your career

 A person who is good at self-promotion enjoys taking credit for his or her valid accomplishments. Self-promotion is an art. It is an effective leadership skill.

Self-promotion can be learned, which is great news for those who are not comfortable with it. It is a skill that can be greatly improved with practice and application.

Self-promotion is not showing off. Speaking up about accomplishments made and contributions you can deliver does not mean you are egocentric or self-absorbing.

It means being noticed by the right people for the right reasons and in the right manner.

Think about it. When you state your accomplishments in your Resume or on your LinkedIn Profile, you’re promoting yourself and letting others know about your strengths and capabilities.

If it feels alright there, then why not in the workplace?

5 Signs you are bad at Self-Promotion

I’ve already told you about 2 professionals who were poor in promoting themselves. Now let’s check if this is you?

You work hard, you go the extra mile and deliver beyond others expectations. However, you do not take credit for your success. Instead, you allow others (especially with seniority or longer tenure at work) to be recognized.

You do not use ‘I’ but ‘we.’ You share the credit for your own diligent effort among your peers, groups, teams, and other people, which does not necessarily help you, particularly when it comes to your career. This makes you feel good at the time, but you may regret doing so later and wish you had been able to confidently claim the achievement as your own.

You tell yourself that great work sells itself, so there is no need for showing off your outstanding performance.

You hope that the right people will notice your achievements. After all, it was you who did all the hard work.

Sorry to burst your bubble but it doesn’t work that way. As my mentor told me a long time back, you have to step up to the plate if you want your career to go places.

When someone compliments you for your achievements, you feel that you are just lucky and thank the universe for making it happen, rather than thanking yourself for your efforts and skills.

Here’s a truth bomb. Self-deprecation may be charming but it wont help you get that promotion or climb the corporate ladder.

Instead, Self-promotion in our context is the art of advocating for yourself.

It’s important to your career’s success because you get a chance to set yourself apart, showcase your importance to the team, get deserved recognition, and set yourself up for advancements and opportunities.

It’s a leadership skill that should not be taken lightly. It’s also a skill that will enable you to raise your Executive Presence in the workplace.

How to Promote Yourself the Right Way

Now that you know where you might be going wrong, how about doing the right things without feeling like a slimy braggart?

Self-promotion is one of the strongest skills found in successful individuals. Being able to self-promote has many advantages. It is vital to personal advancement, and if done well can place you in top positions within your workplace.

Here are some ways to more effectively promote yourself without being self-obsessed.

• Self-awareness is important to successful self-promotion. It is about knowing your attitudes, values, behavior, beliefs, feelings, and other personality factors. Take some time for self-reflection to understand why you think and act as you do. Question any beliefs or behaviors that are not supporting the actions you know you need to take. If you are self-aware, you can promote in an intellectual manner.

(Need help in developing your self-awareness? You want to check out this resource)

• We all have stories to tell, so if you tell them, make sure they are interesting and provide value. Ensure that your stories are appropriate to the achievement. Don’t embellish, but don’t be self-deprecating either. In fact, use your stories to demonstrate your point of view – all leaders know the art of storytelling.

• Deliver, and don’t make empty promises. Do what you say you will. You deserve merit if any achievement is truly yours to claim. Focus on ‘showing’ what you have done, rather than ‘telling’ what you will do. At work, it is easier to lead your team if your members see you fulfilling your responsibilities. Walk the talk so you can self-promote unashamedly.

• Show genuine appreciation and recognition if your efforts are not yours alone. There may have been individuals who contributed along the way. By showing genuine appreciation and gratitude to others, you will make them feel valuable too. It also demonstrates you’re a positive person who is self-assured and not afraid to acknowledge others for their work.

• Work on becoming an industry or subject matter expert. Use social media to demonstrate your knowledge, perspectives and point of view. This could be articles you’ve written or even curated content with a note on your observations. Comment with insights on posts related to your area of expertise and soon you will be noticed without having to worry about boastful. I promise you your efforts will be noticed both within social media but even your organization.

You can find more methods to achieve this goal in Get Noticed.

Self-promotion is not always easy, especially in the workplace, which is why it can feel uncomfortable to do until an event happens that compels them to understand the need for speaking about their contributions to the organization.

However, when done the right way, there are many advantages and can be life-changing. Effective self-promotion has helped many individuals unlock their true potential, overcome their weaknesses, and stand out from the crowd.

Isn’t it time you began promoting your achievements, the way they deserve to be celebrated?

When women professionals reach out to me for help, it’s usually along the lines of wanting to stand out and get recognized for their contribution to the workplace.

More importantly they want to know how to position themselves in the messy middle management tier where the route to promotions up the ladder seem hazy. HR or their boss isn’t able to articulate why another colleague who is not as competent got the plum job, assignment or promotion.

My simple answer? They need to hone their Executive Presence in order to raise their visibility and attract the right attention if they really want to rise up the corporate ladder.

They have to be seen as strong confident professionals possessing mental toughness or fortitude because the rules of the game change as we go up the ladder.

I know this from experience.

Mental toughness helped me get the upper hand during negotiations of a Golden Handshake severance package when my employer was downsizing and handed me the notice.

They insisted I continue to work at a seconded client location as long as they needed me!

This put me in a state of limbo as far as my employment was concerned as well as my residence status as I was on a work permit.

I also got this unfair employment condition removed with the help of a lawyer who pointed out the violation of labor laws. The client where I was seconded offered me a permanent position.

In my view, mental toughness is an inner strength that we can cultivate and learn. It means we have confidence and resilience to face challenges and adversities coming out winners by focusing on our end goal.

In my case, it was to leave with dignity and get a good reference which happened once the Managing Partner found out what my boss had done.

No firm or company worth its salt wants bad publicity and certainly not with a woman employee whose performance has been good. Definitely not one who was under notice while bringing in 7 times her daily cost to company from an important client.

Sadly, I still see more counselling than coaching at junior and middle management level. Even when there is coaching, it’s the employer’s agenda. It’s not that of the woman professional whose assertiveness might be seen as aggression thus commencing a spiral of self-confidence and esteem issues.

And it’s the same for any woman (or male) professional who wants to get ahead especially considering the trend towards a new business need for mental toughness, an area of strength identified by psychologists who believes that it is no longer enough for business leaders to be merely resilient.

People tend to think of mental toughness as being displays of aggression, bullying and general bad behavior. Perhaps if we were to refer to it as mental fortitude or mindset, mental toughness would get its dues as a critical developmental skill.

Mental toughness helps individuals focus on making things happen, without being distracted by their own or other peoples’ emotions.

These individuals are generally more engaged, more positive and exhibit a “can do” attitude. Mental toughness can be measured using the MTQ48, a reliable psychometric tool which is quick and easy to complete and provides a profile of overall mental toughness, as well as providing scores for a number of other characteristics.

When you have mental toughness, you don’t allow obstacles or excuses to block your way. Instead, you battle through regardless of any circumstance.

Derek Redmond’s Inspirational Story

One example that immediately came to mind when I started to write is the story of Derek Redmond and the semi-finals of the 400-meter race at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics.

Derek was a hot favorite for the gold medal and was already a champion having broken the British record in 1985 for the 400-meter race and the 4×400 meters relay gold medal at both the European Championships and Commonwealth Games in 1986.

The importance of his wins takes on a completely different meaning when one considers how many times his career was interrupted by injury and surgeries.

And yet, perseverance and mental strength brought him back each time.

Derek’s goal at Barcelona was to get that Gold Medal but fate had something else in store for him.

He tore his hamstring mid-track and fell to the ground in agony and THEN got up hopping to at least complete the race. The tears still well up in my eyes when I remember how his father ran to the tracks and helped his son finish the race.

That dear reader is what mental toughness and determination is all about. Derek is now a motivational speaker who encourages others to achieve their potential.

I was fortunate to find a clipping of that race courtesy the International Olympics Committee. I dare you to watch it without feeling a lump in your throat.

Your Habits affect Your Mental Toughness

Do you know that the level of your mental toughness is directly related to your habits?

A habit is a routine that you follow each day, almost without thinking. No one has to tell you to brush your teeth each morning, it is a habit.

How high would you say your mental toughness is? Answer the following:

• Do you give up on exercise when it gets tough?
• Do you find excuses for everything?
• Are you are stuck losing weight regardless of what you do?

If you answered yes to any of these then your mental toughness needs working on. When you allow excuses to stop you, you are only hurting yourself. It is not really your lack of motivation or willpower it is your lack of mental toughness.

The easiest way to improve your mental toughness is by developing your habits. Pick one thing that you want to become a habit and work on it. It only takes about three weeks for a habit to become ingrained in your mind. That really isn’t that long now is it?

If your doctor tells you your cholesterol levels are too high, opting for tablets to regulate it might sound like an easy solution but guess what? You’ll be on those tablets for the rest of your life.

Get tough mentally and stop eating junk food at your office desk. Instead get into the habit of walking for 5 minutes on the hour and eat a healthy salad or fruit. It’ll take longer to lower the cholesterol level but you have a better and more permanent solution.

It comes down to how determined you are. To succeed all you need is the perseverance to keep on going. In this example it means scheduling breaks and planning the quality of food intake. Then put tools into place which can include an accountability partner so that you succeed.

To become a mentally tough person you need to be willing to stay true to yourself. This entails not going off track and be willing to find a way to get things done without finding excuses for changing the habit.

Mental Toughness Trait can be developed

Here’s the good news. Mental toughness is not an inherited trait. Anyone can improve their mental toughness if they are prepared to take action. I share some tips on it in my post on handling life’s curve balls.

An example close to home is that of the Accountancy qualification that I studied towards back in London.

At the very beginning of our training, we were told that the firm hired 200 trainees each year but given the toughness of the exams, by the time the trainees complete the 3-year article period, there are usually only 20 left. In other words, 10% of the original intake.

It was even more daunting to know that the annual success rate for qualifying in the Institute was barely 2%.

Of course as youngsters out of college each one of us was confident we’d be the last 20 and part of the 2% who would qualify. That didn’t happen.

There were drop outs and those examinations where we competed at a national level made a root canal procedure feel easier. The prophecy was fulfilled.

As I reflect back on the original group and those of us who qualified, I realize the reason we succeeded while other more intelligent colleagues failed and had to say goodbye to their dreams had a lot to do with our mental toughness.

We were the ones who for one reason or another, had the right attitude and level of passion towards our goal – to be able to put the initials of ACA after our name.

If you are truly passionate about something then your mindset automatically changes. You have the drive and motivation to make it to all of your practices.

You are the one who stay up late at night studying for the exams after a full day’s work at the office or get up early in the morning when the mind is fresh to learn new knowledge.

Those exams involved testing us for our ability to handle pressure and our tutor had warned us to time our answers based on the marks which were visible in the answer sheet and as soon as time was up, we had to drop the answer and move to the next.

If we still had time left over then return to the question and complete the answer. No question was to be left unanswered in the 4 papers we were sitting. It was the difference between achieving our goal and being defeated by another candidate who had his exam strategy planned out.

In those 3 hours, our being brilliant didn’t matter as much as our ability to show we knew our stuff.

Our tutor even told us about diet and self-care regimes and I think I ate the most jacket potatoes with cheese and chamomile tea in my entire life during those exams. I was also at my healthiest and energetic self.

Those of us who cleared the exams in the first attempt had demonstrated the traits that are normally displayed by people with mental toughness.

These include:

• Motivation
• Positive mindset
• Self-control
• Good at handling pressure
• Being energetic

These are the type of people who can turn on a dime and change direction. If things don’t go their way they don’t get disappointed. They simply go with the flow and change course and adapt.

So if you have a goal or a dream that you want to reach you need to start making plans and taking action so you can achieve it. Map out a plan of attack and don’t let anything stand in your way.

Be flexible and ready to take action at any time. If something comes up and you miss your training time, don’t let it pass. Just reschedule it so that you get your session in.

When you can do these things, you are well on your way to showing that you do have what it takes to achieve your goals and dreams.

Do you have Mental Toughness?

People who are mentally tough are usually surrounded by successful people. They show traits such as being consistent, adhering to schedules and always approach things with a positive and professional mindset.

In other words, they know what their responsibilities are, and they carry them out.

If you currently don’t feel that tough, fret not because you can work on developing this trait and increasing your mental toughness.

Your first step is to define what the words “mental toughness” mean for you the way I did at the beginning of this post.

There is no one definition that suits everyone. So write down things that you could do that would imply you had mental toughness.

Here are a few examples:

• Not missing your workouts for the next 2 weeks
• Finishing your next project ahead of schedule
• Quit smoking
• Doing that extra rep before quitting
• Not missing family night with your kids

The only way to demonstrate that you have mental toughness is by taking action and by proving it to yourself!

Changing your mindset is one of the first steps to increasing your toughness. You need to have a positive mindset and be committed to following through with things.

Say you have decided to commit to a new exercise regimen for a month. You have to always think about this in a positive way and not allow yourself any excuses for missing your workouts.

It can help to view your mental toughness as one large muscle group. Just like any of your other muscles, it needs to be exercised and developed to keep working effectively.

When you are confident that you can now tackle things head on, your mental toughness muscle is growing nicely. Always keep that positive mindset about you and your mental toughness will not shrink or shirk when it comes to time to face any circumstance.

Click the above image and take the quiz!

More often than not, the one area of help my clients ask for is for raising their visibility in the workplace and getting those meaty projects that could fast track their climb up the corporate ladder.

Part of the solution is raising their Executive Presence but if you want to stand out from the crowd or competition at work, then you need to be seen as an expert in your field.

This takes action on your part and not just walking around telling people that you’re an expert.

For sure, if you’ve got a professional qualification like being a CPA, people would consider you an expert compared to an accountant and yet during my corporate years, I have worked in companies where the person in the office who was perceived as The Expert didn’t have the qualifications!

This meant that colleagues were comfortable talking to them about their specific technical problems and had confidence in the non-CPA’s expertise and knowledge.

I’ve written about one of them, Rajesh, who was considered a walking encyclopedia  in my post on Self-Esteem Buckets.

In other words, the real perception lies with the observer and not the expert. If people think or call you an expert, then you are the expert. You need to manage perceptions! 

Tips for Finding Your Strengths and Developing Your Expertise

Believe it or not but each one of us is good at something. Expertise doesn’t necessarily require a college degree or professional qualification. It requires a passion for the topic and the willingness to learn.

For example, I have a mechanic who learned his craft under the apprenticeship of his father. When his father first started his business in Khan Market, he was into scooters and motor bikes and then graduated to vehicles.

His son is an expert now in imported cars and has taken the business further by setting up 2 workshops! I often go to him first for a diagnosis of my vehicle’s problem and take his advice before going to the authorized service dealer.

Your strength could be your oratory and motivational speaking or an artistic hand. The key is to figure out your strengths and become an expert at them.

How to Discover Your Expert Worthy Strengths

You can do your own assessment of what you think you’re good at and what you’re most comfortable doing. Here are a couple of ideas:

• Make a list. Think about all the responsibilities of your job and everything that’s expected of you. Now go through that list and put a star next to everything you excel at or enjoy doing. Don’t be modest; be honest with yourself!

• Study your list and meditate on your choices. Really focus your mind on the direction you want your career to take and which skills you need to sharpen to achieve your goals. Focus your attention on the skills that will immediately benefit you.

Discovering Your Strengths by asking others

The second way to discover your personal strengths is to talk to others. You may tend to believe you know what you’re good at, but when you talk to someone who sees you with fresh, unbiased eyes, you’ll get a completely different perspective.

• Don’t be afraid to approach your boss and ask him or her about your strengths. Be proactive! Take control of your career and take the necessary steps to improve your leadership skills and develop your expertise.

• Take additional training and development courses. Does your job or company offer any kind of continuing education programs? Are there training classes that sound interesting and pique your interest? Follow those instincts and register for the class to build upon the knowledge you already have.

Of course, you can ask your family and friends to characterize your strengths and weaknesses. They know you better than anyone else, so they’re more likely to be able to read between the lines and help you discover new things about yourself.

Chances are your friends and family won’t want to hurt your feelings by saying you’re no good at something, so instead, ask them to help you pick out your strengths. Or ask an open-ended question such as, “What jobs or skills do you think I have a talent for?”

Make sure you understand your family’s biases before making any big decisions.

How to Develop Your Expertise

Now that you’ve found your strengths, it’s time for you to bolster your expertise and become a true authority. This means you have to seek out opportunities to work on these skills.

For example, if speaking is your strength, consider taking a public speaking class at a local university to improve that skill. Take every opportunity to speak in front of groups, whether it’s a fundraiser, company meeting, giving a toast at a special event, or speaking to your child’s class.

Seek out the opportunities to practice your skill and take advantage of them. The goal is to find ways to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to sharpen your skills.

How to create the impression you’re an authentic expert

Everyone has the potential to be an expert at what they do.

Here are a few simple steps that you’ll need to follow first to be recognized as an expert.

Educate Yourself on the subject of your planned expertise

Once you have developed the expertise in your chosen area you need to maintain that knowledge.

Expertise is another word for knowledge and the onus is on you to keep yourself up to date with information about your topic and if you are in a specialized field like law, accounting or information technology, make sure you’re up to date with the developments in those areas.

It’s not just reading though – you need to know what you’re talking about.

There are 2 ways you can enhance your knowledge:

• Take courses, attend workshops and even seminars to help further your education and keep you up to date on the latest knowledge and technology. If self-paced study is easier for you, look up courses on Udemy and other online learning platforms.

• Read more. It doesn’t matter what you do as a profession, you need to take advantage of the vast knowledge in the library.

That’s why certain professionals like accounting and law require their qualification holders to do a minimum number of hours of study each year to maintain their right to use the title that goes with that qualification.

Own Your Knowledge

By expanding your knowledge you’ll also build your confidence which in turn will give confidence to others that you know your stuff.

I mean, have you ever hear an expert stutter and stammer and say they’re not sure? Of course not! You’ll hear the confidence in their voice and see it in their body language.

Everyone is an expert at something. The problem is, we often don’t realize our own expertise and take it for granted. Some coaches refer to it as your super power while others talk about unique selling proposition or USP.

The key is to discover it and step into it. Think of some knowledge or activity that you find easy to do or perform where others struggle and you’re on to finding your golden gift.

Even then if you have an issue or find it challenging to be confident, take the help of affirmative statements to help your subconscious mind accept you are an expert.

Declare it to the world with your elevator pitch, your business cards and on your social media profiles.

Demonstrate Your Knowledge

It’s one thing to talk about what you know, but it’s something else entirely to actually apply it.

Experts don’t walk around showing off about what they can do; they prove it by taking action and demonstrating their expertise by solving difficult problems and finding viable solutions.

 In other words, be proactive in your approach. Sometimes we don’t know the answer but we do know someone who does. Reach out to that other expert to help find the solution.

A true expert is always willing to learn new things and isn’t afraid to admit that they might not have the ideal solution and need help too. They also act with integrity.

Always Act With Integrity

Demonstrating knowledge isn’t the only thing experts do. They possess qualities of ethics, integrity and teaching. This means avoiding shortcuts and taking credit for things you haven’t done.

Skipping out on doing something the right way doesn’t make you an expert, however, this doesn’t mean that you have to do everything yourself.

There will always be things we’re not so good at. In those circumstances, you have to learn how to delegate those responsibilities to others who have the skills required to get the job done.

Part of being a good expert is seeing the strengths and weaknesses of others and how their talents can be put to good use.

You can and should delegate tasks where required and teach your team using hands on approach.

Wise leaders and the most incredible of experts don’t do everything themselves. They have a talented team around them who have the skills they themselves lack.

Acknowledge your people for doing a good job and where there is scope for improvement, follow the golden rules for effective feedback.

This also raises your stature with your team and co-workers which in turn enhances your Executive Presence.

Learn the skill of Effective Communication  

People have to understand what you can do and why you’re the best one to do it.

This means that you have to understand and foresee the questions and concerns of others, then prepare and articulate the answers and solutions to them.

I learned a lot about getting messages across from my furry family member Miss Coco during the time the Northern Grid had tripped leaving the entire North India region without electricity.

Pick up the effective communication tips from the canine here.

By following these simple steps you’ll become the person with the answers. These are the experts who become irreplaceable and well respected.

Do you convey the message of being an expert with your actions and words?

I’ve mentioned the importance of demonstrating Executive Presence to climb the corporate ladder before in numerous posts. The requirement of demonstrating self-confidence is important for this.

It’s also important for Emotional Intelligence, a required set of traits that enhances your presence in the right manner.

Low Confidence is akin to the cat catching your tongue

Sometime back a young lady professional told me about her problem of not finding her voice in Group Meetings.

She had some great ideas that could help improve team performance and client management. She prepared for these meetings. Yet, once in the meeting, she found herself keeping quiet while more assertive colleagues stole the show.

What made it worse was that she knew many of her colleagues’ ideas would not be viable.

It isn’t unusual that colleagues who are active in conversations get noticed. They create an impact, get recognition and with it, career opportunities.

Keeping quiet is not the solution if you want to get ahead in your career.

Yet she keeps quiet.

It’s this lack of confidence to speak up which is clearly holding her back and moving ahead in her career.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

It certainly does to me but not from my corporate world experience. I learned my lesson back when I was a young girl in a residential school.

I had good ideas too but unlike my classmates, I wouldn’t speak unless the teacher asked me for my view.

No wonder when our class’s turn came to be Captains and Leaders, I was nowhere in the running to get a badge with position and prestige.

It wasn’t until I was leaving school that one of my teachers told me that she knew I had what it took to be successful. I was told to raise my visibility and demonstrate more confidence.

I took note of her parting advice and the rest, as they say, is history.

Self-confidence is an important facet of Emotional Intelligence

Think about the people you admire the most.

More often than not, you’ll notice they are of pleasant disposition, down to earth and have healthy self-esteem. In common lingo, one could say they “have their act together.”

Research affirms the importance of self-confidence for career success, job satisfaction, career status, and salary.

According to the book, ‘The Confidence Code,’ confidence is more predictive of career success than competence!

That doesn’t surprise me because professionals with healthy self-confidence have a more optimistic and positive view of the world and are more likely to be willing to step out of their comfort zone to rise above challenges, stay focused on their goals because they believe they can achieve whatever they set out to.

For them, a challenge is a learning opportunity that will enable them to sharpen their skills that in turn will make them viable candidates for more opportunities.

Moreover, they choose occupations that support their interests leading to greater job satisfaction.

Arrogance is not a sign of Confidence

While low self-confidence can lead to lost opportunities, there is another problem with confidence – over confidence or arrogance.

Overconfidence or pseudo-confidence is destructive. Domineering behaviour might work at the lower rungs of the corporate ladder, if at all but the higher you go up, the more your people skills begin to matter.

How your team members and peers perceive you is as important as the boss’s perception of you.

But if we are to develop high Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient and become successful, this is exactly what we must do!

Confidence and Personal Competencies of Emotional Intelligence

In my post on the skill of empathy and emotional intelligence, I refer to the personal competency of Self Awareness demonstrated by emotionally intelligent people.

Competency in this domain requires mastery of emotion and a healthy self-perception is vital.

Self-perception allows you to recognize a feeling while it happens. The key competencies under self-perception are self-awareness and having self-confidence.

I go into greater detail with exercises in my course Emotional Intelligence – The Basics but for the purpose of this post, here is a slide from the Self Awareness Module of the course.

Being aware of one’s emotions and accurately reading them is a basic aspect of emotional intelligence and helps guide your decision-making process.

It underlies all other processing of emotional information. Your own emotions include areas of beliefs and core values, as well as preferences, goals, strengths, weaknesses, and intuition.

Self-confidence comes from an accurate sense of your worth and abilities. This leads to a belief in yourself and the ability to be a better decision maker.

I provide a full course on building one’s confidence in my book Self-Confidence in 8 Steps which will help you master it.

Do you have a confidence problem?

To determine if you have a confidence problem, think about your behavior in different situations and ask yourself:

In a conflict situation, are fingers pointed at me?

Do I frequently take a very strong stand on issues?

Am I the first to speak up with an opinion?

Do I often cut off further discussion in favour of my position?

Am I spending more time talking than I do listening?

Do I hold my stand to unreasonable lengths? Or do I cave in at the first sign of aggression from others?

Am I able to share my point of view?

Depending on your answer, you might be low on confidence or over confident which needs to be addressed.

A truly confident person knows how to balance their needs with those of other people. This leads to more success when it comes to social management.

One tip that I can give you to improve your confidence and score in emotional intelligence is to learn to accept your mistakes.

We all goof up at times and admitting that we are wrong can often stop a situation from escalating into a full blown crisis.

Remember, even people with high levels of confidence are apt to make mistakes. I mean, they are human, right?

But an emotionally intelligent person will not make it into a prestige issue sticking to their guns when they know they are in the wrong.

Instead, they understand that this is a learning opportunity to do things differently. They are not afraid to admit they got it wrong.

I remember the time when one of my mentors who is mentioned in my book Get Noticed!  told me how a simple apology when we are in the wrong goes a long way to maintain goodwill.

How a simple sorry prevented a blame game war

The incident was a minor one with a clash between my department and the co-insurance one over the system crashing while we were moving into a new insurance and accounting interface software in our company.

The crash was caused by a fault in the program and really it was not our fault but that of the vendor who had over-promised on major software but was developing it as we went along.

An entire week’s worth of accounting and insurance information was lost and there was lots of arguing and blame throwing – not good for productivity.

I understood what my mentor boss was saying and went to the head of Co-insurance to apologize for my team’s outburst. I was surprised to receive an apology in return. Looks like the boss had counselled both of us!

After that we set up a disaster management plan and backups were taken on the hour instead of the routine twice a day.

That was an emotionally intelligent boss guiding his people to demonstrate the same competency that I want for you.

Does your confidence come in the way of being perceived as emotionally intelligent by others?

Additional Resources to Boost your Self Confidence and Emotional Intelligence

Here is a selection of resources that you will find useful on the topic of self confidence and emotional intelligence.

The Confidence Code

Self Confidence in 8 Steps

Emotional Intelligence – The Basics for Professional Success

Get Noticed!

Every Monday, I post a quote on Motivation on Karmic Ally Coaching’s Business Page on Facebook. The image above is an example of one that I posted using a favorite hash tag – #MondayMotivation

It reflects something that many of us are too scared to claim – our unique Point of View (POV).

Point of View is a statement that sums up what we deeply believe about our subject. It’s your opinion and what you want the world to know about you and your stand.

We may not use the exact words of our POV in our daily words but it should be something that is reflected in the way we see and approach the world and in our actions.

When you create a Life Stance Manifesto, you are giving voice to your views.

Your POV shows up everywhere – your conversations with family, friends, colleagues, customers and even in your social media activity.

Try this experiment. The next time you log onto Facebook check your newsfeed for updates and the interactions on them. Check one of your updates and see who liked or loved it and who left a comment.

Most probably they’ll be people with whom you have a lot in common and who share your views.

This is true even of friends who never tire of sharing cat and dog photos and who are most probably animal lovers will have their own friends liking and commenting on the photo.

On the other hand, try LinkedIn updates and see what happens. When it comes to professionals topics, you’ll find some people endorsing the post and others who might not know the person who has posted it adding their own spin and a different view.

We need to embrace our unique POV but also respect that of others (which incidentally is a sign of strong Emotional Intelligence).

Even if the opinions of others are not the same as ours, all dialogue should be done with courtesy, an open mind, tact, and remembering to align our words and actions with our ethics, integrity and beliefs – all components of a strong point of view.

Your POV sets you apart from other people who do similar work and helps you to stand out from the crowd. It’s your unique angle on a particular topic.

It’s not something that you can be coached or trained to create. Although a coach or trainer can help you move away from trite hackneyed statements that you might create by copying someone else’s.

It’s something that you believe about yourself, your work, your expertise or your subject.

It’s the preamble in my Meet Your Coach page on my website and isn’t some slick set of sentences written by a copywriter but one that was developed after spending hours working on what I truly believed and wanted to hold as the North Star for my business and myself.

My own point of view finds expression on my website, blog and on Social Media.

Nothing is impossible if you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and take action to achieve what your heart truly desires.

That’s why the majority of my blog posts and updates always show lots of how to do things or attempt to prompt you to think.

How to develop a robust Point of View

Here’s an interesting fact. Back in school, when you were writing a book report agonizing over first, second and third perspective or a paper in college; you were being really being asked to present your point of view. Even if it did not feel so at the time.

You might have picked up opinions about the book or topic from elsewhere and presented it in a perfect manner only to have your teacher or professor ask you about what you really thought.

That is what having a point of view is about.

Figuring out what your own opinion is can be challenging when you’re deeply immersed in the opinions of other people.

This can range from what a group of friends should eat in a restaurant all the way to our political and spiritual views.

In this post, we’ll look at how you can approach topics with an objective mind, and how you can work out what you really think about something or even life and work in general.

1. Read widely and on diverse topics

The first and most crucial point about forming your own opinions is that it’s vital to read widely – and consider what you read critically, looking for holes in arguments.

Reading books outside of our professional interest or of other genres helps to stimulate the mind to look at things from a different perspective and establish our own unique viewpoint.

It fuels our imagination and when we can look and think beyond what is in front of us, we get an opportunity to understand ourselves better. It opens the door to further thinking about other perspectives and views on the same topic.

Do we agree with other views or do we have a different one?

2. Consider and take into account any personal biases that you have

Perhaps calling it biases is harsh but the truth is our backgrounds, upbringing and experiences shape how we view the world and how we respond to it.

I still remember the day Mr Bob introduced Karl Marx to his first year undergraduate class for Politics 101 back in the University of the West Indies. It is something I will never forget because his prophecy came true.

To lightly paraphrase

“Ladies and gentlemen in the class, I am now going to introduce you to a man and his philosophy that will inspire you till the end of your graduate years but when you step out into the real world and start looking for a job, you will also realize that capitalism will feed your starving belly.”

We were all in awe of Mr. Bob and as he predicted, a herd of Marxists was born, who argued with everybody and quoted stuff like ‘religion being the opium of the poor’.

Our view of the world and the establishment became biased because our friend Karl Marx’s point of view had captured our young imagination.

My parents found it amusing putting it down to youthful exuberance but must have been relieved that we were at that time, halfway across the world from my grandparents in India, who would have had a fit hearing me talk like that.

We transformed into capitalists 6 months after graduating because we had to earn a livelihood and those principles really didn’t work unless you were in a completely socialist setting. The fact that the USSR disintegrated a few years later and India went in for liberalization only proves the point.

As I learned through this experience, when it comes to finding your true opinions, you need to overcome bias by assessing the evidence behind the opinion, the facts as they stand and force yourself to look at things objectively.

3. Maintain a journal or blog

Writing a journal helps us to articulate our thoughts clearly. Whenever an independent thought comes to mind, write it down. You may end up finding something that contradicts your thought, but this is all part of the process of reaching your own conclusions.

Another good way to discover your true point of view is to start a blog. Sharing your views with others will lead to comments from those who either support your view or provide a different view altogether that might lead you to assess your original ideas.

When we understand other’s point of view, it enables us to express our own in language that they would feel comfortable with and thus willing to listen to us too.

Final advice to help create your unique view point

While developing your point of view, remember that having unique ideas is not the same as articulating it properly to others.

You have to present them in a fair-minded and rational way taking into account that the other person is intelligent and has his or her own experiences that they will use to evaluate your stand and point of view.

You will need to demonstrate the strength of your point of view using the skills of reasoning, evidence and persuasion. Your arguments to support your opinion will appeal to others if they are presented with reason, ethics and emotion.

Be ready to support your claims with specific instances and concrete facts to appeal to the other person’s common sense and rational thinking.

Fluffy stuff won’t work and misrepresenting facts will be counterproductive. At no time should any of your actions or words give others a doubt about your principles, integrity or character.

The goal of stating our point of view is to get others to consider it with an open mind. It isn’t a contest with a gold medal at the end and using unethical means is the best way to ruin your credibility and reputation.

Communicating our point of view is not a unilateral activity. It helps to understand the other person’s point of view or sentiments to enable us to present our opinion on a matter in a way that will appeal to their logic too.

Getting others to buy into your point of view requires impacting them at an emotional level, which is what happened with our class of undergraduates when we discovered Karl Marx.

On a bigger world stage, it was Gandhi’s argument for Home Rule that the Indian population found appealing and they followed him.

When the Jallianwalla Bagh Massacre took place and Mahatma Gandhi declared it was time for full independence, the nation followed his call to action.

The rest is history but the essential point is, Gandhi had applied the 3 keys of appealing to his audience – reason, ethics and emotions.

Your turn now.

Do you have a point of view on topics that are important to you? Do you see how it affects your view of the world?

Share your feelings and findings with me in the comments box below.

Once you have a point of view, you need to articulate it in the right way to be seen as an influential leader. That’s why it’s equally important to develop your Signature Voice. Click here to learn more or on the image below.

Multi-tasking has received a lot of criticism in recent years. Studies have demonstrated this skill is anti-productive, results in loss of memory and reduces attention span.

Contrary to popular belief that multi-tasking saves time, it can result in poor quality work. This in turns requires redoing which means ultimately, you end up using twice the time.

Switching tasks forces your mind to change into the right mindset for the new task. You have to take the time to remember where you left off and end up losing productivity.

Please note, this is not to be confused with the Zeigarnik Effect which is intentional for problem solving and productivity.

Multi-tasking makes it difficult to focus entirely on each task you are doing.

You’re thinking about emails you have to respond to when writing a report. And the phone calls you need to return even while you are thinking about the next task on your to-do list.

This type of working environment doesn’t do anything but cause you stress. Instead of multi-tasking among several tasks, prioritize your tasks and break them up into workable time chunks.

In a study done by the late Harvard Professor Clifford Nass, it was revealed that multitasking leads to attention and memory loss. According to the study people who use online social media and other forms of electronic communications have trouble focusing their attention. They have lower scores on memory tests.

Given a choice, I prefer to focus on 1 task or thought at a time based on priority and the time management rule of doing important but not urgent tasks first.

In other words, to do monotasking. Being focused helps create a better result for each task and saves precious time.

It’s an open secret – Employers prefer Multi-Tasking Professionals

Yet employers seek multi-tasking employees. Job candidates are often asked about this ability during interviews.

Frankly speaking, this doesn’t surprise me. Businesses globally try to cut costs and improve profit margins. If they can get 1 employee who can do the work of 2 or 3, why wouldn’t they want to hire a person who has what they are looking for?

Years ago, when I was still in the corporate world, I used to see job ads that asked for qualifications and experience that were relevant to the job. This as well as added qualifications for tasks that belonged to a different department or task set.

So ambitious professionals would study further and have 2-3 degrees just to ensure they got a job interview.

It meant that if they were hired, they multi-tasked spending long hours at work switching hats and responsibilities as required. It shouldn’t come as a surprise when these employees fall ill or quit quoting work life balance in their exit interviews.

In a competitive job market where, competent professionals are trying to rise above the noise, multi-tasking skills are considered an employable asset.

In Five Skills You MUST Convey In A Job Interview, Nathan Newberger refers to 5 key “secret skills” that employers keep an eye out for, interviewers examine and how to demonstrate those skills, Critical Thinking, Communication, Interpersonal and Multi-Tasking.

4 of these 5 skills are important for Leadership roles and for demonstrating Executive Presence. The inclusion of Multi-Tasking cannot be ignored.

Karmic Ally Tips to Multi-Task without hindering your Executive Presence

Let’s accept that multi-tasking will always be a requirement if you want to survive the corporate world and rise up the corporate ladder. But knowing the downside of multi-tasking, how do you use this skill without it affecting your Executive Presence?

For starters reframe the way you look at multi-tasking. You aren’t expected to be a juggler; you are expected to be able to

• Work on a variety of tasks concurrently, switching between them when necessary to ensure that they are all completed.
• Combine high priority tasks with low priority tasks so that the most pressing jobs get done quickly, while you make progress with the rest of your work. This means those small tasks don’t take up permanent residence on your to-do list.

Think of any cooking challenge on television where the cooks are expected to do multiple dishes. It means you should have the ability to be flexible without losing concentration.

Observe how the contestants create dishes with multiple parts and multi-task right from the word go. Finally, plating their dish for the judges and you’ll understand what I mean.

Tip 1 – Be realistic about your ability and task requirements

Remember that you are a human being and not a machine. Know how many tasks you can do in the allotted work time. Then prioritize what really needs to be done and what can be deferred without affecting your productivity.

Make sure you have a goal for each task that you are planning to do and let go of any distracting activities.

When charting out the tasks that will be included in your multi-tasking sessions, assess if the task can be done without compromising quality in tandem or in sequence with other tasks or if it will require 100% attention. If it is the latter, allocate specific independent time for it.

Tip 2 – Strengthen your ability to stay focused

Earlier in this post I wrote about staying focused on 1 task or 1 thought at a time.  The ability to concentrate on any given task is a blessing especially if you work in an open office.

One of my favorite exercises to build concentration is to use visualization exercises. This simple exercise that we use for Creative Visualization also works for improving our focus and memory.

In my example, we’re using a chocolate cupcake although you can use any other object to do this exercise.  The technique is described in this video.

Give this exercise a shot and I guarantee you will see an improvement in your focus and attention levels.

Tip 3 – Master the art and science of Effective Time Management

As you go up the corporate ladder and want to demonstrate leadership skills, multi-tasking becomes an asset and this means you need to master your time management.

This includes but is not limited to

• Prioritizing tasks
• Allocating time slots to complete a task or part of it. Note down what needs to be done when you return to the task
• Delegate tasks that can easily be done by others provided you give proper instructions and review the work
• Adopt a time management technique that will help you deliver results without creating stress. One of my favorite techniques is the Pomodoro Technique where tasks are allocated 20 minutes each and then a switch to another task. One returns to incomplete tasks again as per your planned timetable.
• Learn how to manage your time instead of running around the clock and becoming susceptible to time eating vampires. Karmic Ally Coaching’s Time Management Online Course will help you chart out your strategy for Tip 3!

If you use these 3 tips, you will be able to combine multi-tasking with other skills required to demonstrate your Executive Presence – guaranteed!

Do you multi-task at work? How do you make sure you get your work done and maintain a positive Executive Presence?