career coaching | Karmic Ally Coaching

Take the sting out of Fear of Failure it’s only a Belief

It was a most surreal venue to do a morale boosting counselling session on the fear of failure, but the Willis Carrier question caught my attention and I was hooked.

Flashback to a Friday night in Warsaw of 1995 and Marriot Hotel’s trendy, exclusive and yuppie Orpheus, night club where expats and the wealthy Polish hung out. It was one of 3 places to hang out if you wanted to see and be seen or show that you had arrived.

This was shortly after the disintegration of the USSR and Poland was no longer considered ‘near abroad’ in that part of the world. It was a time of interesting change and meeting of new cultures that required change on both sides.

A Group of single girlfriends were having a night out and the only male member of the Group was a visiting consultant at one of my friend’s office. He was at least twice our age and not much of a dancer, was counselling one of the girls who was pretty stressed out about a new and apparently difficult boss.

I was enjoying the music until my ears picked up a Dale Carnegie quote that I often used when things felt out of control.

In my post Negotiate to Win, I tell the story of how my parents inculcated a love for literature by making me read books from my father’s expansive library and then tested me on the book in order for me to earn extra pocket money.

Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living was one of those books and I remember the famous tip about asking yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?”

Interested in the conversation, I saw the consultant apply the 3 step technique that helps when we’re anxious about problems and besieged by the limiting belief called Fear of Failure.

3 step technique when you need baffle free solutions

It’s easy and if you do it sincerely, I promise you that you will overcome the anxiety and the limiting belief that you might fail because failure becomes an option.

After that, things can only get better.

Step 1 – Ask yourself what’s the worst that could possibly happen. I call it the Chicken Licken Sky Falling step.

Step 2 – Prepare to accept the worst.

Step 3- Work out how to improve upon the worst, should it come to pass.

Need genuine inspiration? You’ll find it in Willis Carrier’s Story

If you haven’t read Dale Carnegie’s book, I strongly urge you to acquire a copy and read the interesting story in it about Willis Carrier, the founder of modern air-conditioning and Inventor of Dew-Point Control.

The anecdotal story shows how this technique helped him to find the solution to a major issue when he discovered that a new gas-cleaning service his employer Buffalo Forge Company provided wasn’t as effective as he’d hoped.

It was the realization that worrying about the situation was counter-productive that led to his discovering the 3 step technique.

First, he realized that the worst that could happen was that his company would have to remove the machinery that wasn’t working and lose the $20,000 they’d invested.

Next, he accepted that potential outcome. The company could qualify the loss as the cost of researching a new strategy.

Finally, he figured out how to improve the situation. If the company bought $5,000 worth of new equipment, they could resolve the issue.

Ultimately, that’s exactly what the company did, and they ended up making $15,000, because the additional equipment proved so effective.

Be honest with yourself, how often have you procrastinated because you feared you might fail?

Or were scared that you would make a fool of yourself even though you knew what you had to do?

Have you ever stopped yourself from taking the right action thinking about what others would think?

Did the thought of change frighten you into inaction?

If you are thinking along those lines, then not only are you going to make failure a self-fulfilling prophecy but will deprive yourself of an opportunity to grow and learn.

The next time you have this fear which is stopping you, just ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? If you think about it properly, then not much will happen. Or if there is a risk or downside, then consider the benefits against the risks before you act.

By the way, my friend summoned the courage to talk to her new boss about how she felt and things were better at work after that. It turned out to be a simple cultural communication one.

How do you overcome the resistance to take action when a limiting belief like the fear of failure freezes you?