Ambitious driven professionals have a tendency to set the bar high – for others and more importantly, for themselves.
If the bar is at a reachable stretch, it is achieved with the right amount of effort. When you cross the bar, you can raise it again. Bar heights are not set in stone.
So what happens when the bar is set so high that you, an otherwise competent professional start to struggle?
Well, it could be exhaustion (working long weekdays and weekends), strained relationships with colleagues, family & friends and if pushed too far, the creation of a self-destructive negative mindset, unhappiness and perhaps depression.
High achievers in school and college may have the bar set for them by others. Maybe parents who are trying to live their unfulfilled ambitions through their children, teachers who need to prove that they produced fine students and even us if we really want to be seen as part of the A Group. Since we believe and are conditioned by others and ourselves, we don’t step back to ask;
Does this work for me?
What worked for me in the past………does it still work?
Today, I am going to write from the perspective of a Super Professional who found peace and success when I moved from perfectionism to being human. I also found that I was still on top of my game but much happier and loved.
Success without happiness is no success. To share advice from my Mother, who I acknowledge is a wise lady and often quotes words of wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita – Happiness comes from within. Do your best and leave the rest to God.
My best friend in Poland, who suffered from the same malady but was intelligent enough to figure things out sooner than I did advises –
Don’t be so hard on yourself
I say – Be kind to yourself
You are your best friend.
Your companions in the journey of Life will come and go. Some may stay for a season and some for a purpose or reason but the one constant is you and your relationship with yourself.
So before you practice love and compassion for others and try to save the world, love yourself. Be kind to yourself. There is only one of you in this world; you are a masterpiece. So go forth and achieve without destroying everything which has value for you in the long run.
Embrace Compassion, embrace yourself and know that being critical or judgmental about yourself will not help you achieve your goals, even if after reading this post, you decide to lower the bar to a reachable height.
Here are a few pointers to get you started on loving yourself and being kind to yourself. The rest will come to you on your journey to Self-Compassion.
Step into the Now. Cherish each moment as if it were the last moment you have. Stop to smell the flowers, say hello to an elderly neighbor, dust the books on your bookshelf and watch the sky change colours during sunset. Hey, even pat your pet dog or cat! Value who and what surrounds you in the moment. That moment will be a part of the past before you realize it.
Work out what the important things in your Life are. Is it meeting a deadline that can wait till tomorrow or being home in time for dinner with the family? In other words, value what is really important for you in your life. Don’t take family and friends for granted. Love them, appreciate them.
Learn to listen to your intuition and your heart. When you feel a sense of guilt about something, know that you are being told to correct course by your Higher Self. We are all connected to Divinity. When we stop to love ourselves, our true Inner Nature comes out – one that loves unconditionally and is loved back unconditionally by the world.
When your Gremlins come out to play, acknowledge them and send them on their way. Be kind to yourself. Remember there is only one of you.
A lady whom I once knew used to write letters to others when she wanted to tell them things that she knew if said would destroy the relationship. It used to help her get things off her chest. She would then destroy those letters.
I suggest you write a letter to yourself today acknowledging how wonderful you are and why you need to be kind to yourself. It may be a short letter or a very long one. Read it a few days later and do come back to tell me what you realized.
Until then, be kind to yourself
Written By: Vatsala ShuklaFollow Me
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