Have you decided what you want to achieve during the New Year?

Having a sound strategy coupled with the right intentions works. Help from the Universe using the Law of Attraction might just make it your best year yet.

I’ve written about the technique of using Creative Visualization for Crisis Management as well as combining it with the law of attraction to achieve career success before.

Yet there are times when we don’t hit the bull’s eye.

There are finer points we need to cover and not just chant mantras and affirmations thinking we will manifest what we want.

Let’s take a deeper look.

How and Why to Set Your Intentions

Setting intentions allows you to describe not just what you want, but what you intend to do.

In the post ‘Are You Intent on Intending’, we used intentions to do better time management.

With the Law of Attraction, you’re asking the universe for what you want. You do this by saying what you are trying to attract and how you want things to go.

It is similar to setting any intentions in your life, but you want to write them down using the method of scripting. Meaning, you write as if they have already happened.

Why Set Intentions?

With intentions, you aren’t just thinking a random thought about what you might want. You’re specifically asking the universe for something you deeply desire. There might even be a goal in sight that you want to achieve.

The intention takes it to the next level, where you have made the decision, asked the universe, and begin the process of manifesting it.

Intentions are very powerful when they are done correctly. As with any skill that we want to master, it helps to start small and build your Intention Muscle.

Choose Different Types of Intentions

Remember that there are different ways to set intentions, including different times to do it. You might have daily intentions, weekly or monthly, or even longer than that, such as your yearly intentions.

Try first with simple daily intentions. Think about what you need to get done today. Not the meaningless tasks, but the tasks that get you closer to your goals.

Write down your intentions, visualize yourself completing them, and then go on with your day.

You can try this whenever you have new intentions, whether it is something for the week, the month, what you want to manifest this year. Anything you can think of that you want to attract in your life.

Think About What You’re Manifesting

When you’re beginning to write out your intentions, you want to do so in a scripting method – where it is in the present tense. Write about it as if it has already happened. Try to visualize what you are trying to manifest when writing them down.

First, write down what you want to manifest. Just one word or phrase that describes what it is. Then close your eyes and visualize having that thing.

It could be money, wealth, status, fame, a house or car, a relationship, big group of friends, or traveling to a dream destination.

With it in your mind, open your eyes and set your intentions. Write down in a journal what your dream was, in vivid detail, with as much feeling and emotion as you can muster.

One of the best examples that I know of was shared by Rev. Anne Presuel in her Divinely Intuitive Business Group that I was a member of a few years back.

When she was ready to manifest her true-life partner after a failed marriage, she scripted what she wanted in great detail.

Amazingly, Mr. Right not only came into her life, but she married one of the most amazing men in the world who matched everything she had asked for.

Read her book to learn more about this method.

Be Specific

Intentions are short, but also specific. Generalizations won’t work so say exactly what your intentions are. This can be in list form, scripting, or in the form of affirmations that you repeat to yourself every day.

Your Feelings Are Stronger Than Your Thoughts

I personally believe this is the secret sauce to a successful manifestation.

Among the different misconceptions about the law of attraction and manifesting, is one in particular – the universe does not recognize thoughts, it recognizes feelings.

The reason visualization is so powerful in the law of attraction isn’t because you are thinking about what you want, but because it helps you actually feel it.

It’s like the time I manifested the new laptop during a holiday as well as a new internet connection. You can read the story here.

My feelings were intense and even though my computer guy was out of town, he managed to arrange what I needed.

Here are the 2 factors that come into play.

Like Attracts Like

This is something you will hear and read over and over again when you study the law of attraction.

It goes back to the first influencers of the law of attraction, where they said like attracts like.

If you spend your time visualizing what you want and feeling it, you are going to attract more of those good feelings.

But if you spend all your time thinking about your limiting beliefs and why you think it could never happen, then the universe is going to make sure you keep feeling that.

This means you want to focus your time, attention, and energy on what you want instead of what you don’t want, even if it has to do with ending your current situation.

Don’t think about how right now you can’t pay your bills – spend your time thinking about when you are able to pay your bills. This is what like attracts like comes down to.

Tips for Focusing More on Your Feelings

Manifesting what you want does begin with asking the universe what you want, but it doesn’t stop with your thoughts. You really need to tap into your feelings if you want this to work.

To focus more on your feelings, here are a few tips:

Use detailed visualizations. When you visualize, start by putting the vision in first person perspective. You want to see what you are dreaming of from your point of view.

Not like someone watching you in movie, but you actually living that life. If you want a house with a pool, think about swimming in that pool, right down to the feeling of the water on your skin, your fingers pruning, splashing in the water. Sense everything you can during your visualizations.

Try meditating. If you struggle with your thoughts and fears taking over your mind, try meditating for a few minutes a day.

Scripting works miracles. Literally! When you script what you want to manifest, you go beyond just thinking about what you want and actually put yourself in the place where you already have it.

Write your intentions and your manifestations, but as if they already exist. Instead of “I want to buy my dream home”, you would write “I am so thankful after purchasing my dream home!” and get as specific as you can.

You could go further and add details, like “I am lucky to have a garden with my dream home. Each of the three bedrooms has an attached bathroom.” And more.

Let’s look at scripting in detail.

The ‘I Am’ Rule in Scripting

Scripting is an extremely powerful way to use the Law of Attraction. Instead of asking the universe what you want as if you don’t have it now, which is going to attract more lack of that thing, you ask in a way that you already have it.

Since like attracts like, you always want to ask in present tense, as if what you are asking for has already happened. This is where the “I Am” rule comes in.

What is the I Am Rule?

The I Am rule says that when you are scripting in your journal about what you are trying to manifest, you always write “I am”, instead of “I want to” or “I will”.

You’re writing in present tense as you will find out in the next paragraph, so make sure you start each sentence with phrases like:

I am

I do

I have

It is really easy to change any negative statement into a positive one.

For example, if you find yourself writing “I want to”, your focus is visualizing on the lack of something, not as if you already have it.

Change that to “I have” or “I am” and it completely changes your perspective to a feeling of abundance.

Scripting is done in present tense, always, no exceptions

This is a way to ask the universe for what you want but write it down as if it has already happened. You are thanking the Universe for bringing this into your life.

Not sure how this works? Think about what you want or what you are trying to manifest.

Now imagine you already have that thing or are living that life. Then write as if it is in the future when you have that dream already, and what you might say.

For example, if you are trying to manifest a new car, don’t think about what you have to do to get it or that you don’t have it now.

Write as if you have that car, and how you feel about it. How excited you are to drive it and thank the universe for bringing this new car to you.

Tips for Changing Your Mindset

In the beginning, it is hard to get past the old way of journaling, where you are talking more about what you don’t want, instead of what you do want.

Scripting is all about acting as if, being in the future when you have what you are trying to manifest.

If you find yourself writing about lack or what you want, not as if you already have it, take each sentence, cross off the words that point to lack, and replace them with words that represent abundance.

How to Recognize Signs from the Universe

As you begin manifesting, and using various methods in the Law of Attraction, you may get to a point where you are a little confused as to what direction you are meant to take next, in order to make your desires a reality.

The Universe tends to send you signs in many different forms about the path you are on, helping you to see when what you manifested is coming true for you.

If you are concerned about missing these signs, here are some things to look for.

Look for Patterns in Everything You Come Across

If you want to look for signs for the universe, it helps to first know what you’re looking for.

One way to see signs is in different patterns.

This might be seeing the same symbol over and over again, like a peace sign or a certain shape, or you may see number sequence like 555 or 11:11 over and over again.

Another thing people often notice is that they keep seeing the same kind of bird before something great happens.

Pay More Attention Outward

The reason people often miss signs from the Universe is because they aren’t paying attention.

Start noticing other things in the world, paying attention to everything around you.

When you go outside to walk your dogs or for a stroll, notice any smells or sights you experience. Don’t just watch your dogs but watch the birds in the sky. Notice how tall the grass is, what sounds you might hear, what seems to be out of place. Or something you never noticed in that area before.

Not only will you often see signs in these simple things, but it helps to open up your mind. You’ll become a more observational person in general.

This is a really important trait to have when you have to notice signs the Universe may be sending you.

Listen to and Trust Your Intuition

Your intuition is telling you a lot, even when you aren’t listening.

Do you ever just get this weird feeling?

Maybe you suddenly start thinking about a person just before they call, or you have a song playing in your head before it plays on the radio.

Sometimes, when you meet someone, you have immediate good or bad feelings, or you get this overwhelming feeling of joy before going to an event.

This is your intuition talking to you, sending you vital signals.

The more you pay attention to it, the more you can read your own intuition and listen to your gut. This can also be a powerful way the universe sends you important signs.

May you achieve all that your heart desires in the New Year!

Law of Attraction Essentials for the Real World Bundle

This bundle of resources will help you apply the Law of Attraction to manifest your intentions while improving your life and reaching your goals.

Click here for full details!

The bundle includes 3 planners and short reports to enable you to make any year your year of manifesting the best!

Update 1 October 2023 – When I wrote this post back in 2013, my focus was on sharing my experience with the reader and how forgiving others benefits us mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The tools I shared were of a metaphysical nature.

There is another benefit of learning to forgive – improving our Emotional Intelligence and raising our Emotional Quotient (EQ). I address this further in the post.

The journey of forgiving unknown people.

In my post How to break free of limiting beliefs created by others without cutting off relationships, I mentioned the nightmare that ensued after my website had been hacked. I also mentioned receiving support and recognized the role of the Universe and Gratitude in my life.

What I did not mention was a tweet that caught my eye on Bucket Lists.

Or my on the spur reply that my Bucket List included someday forgiving the Hacker who made a mess of things for me. I needed the power of forgiving to heal. My reply was favourited by the Tweep.

Since then, I have ticked off that item from my list and forgiven the hacker. I also pray that it does not happen again and affirm that All Is Well.

I have taken control of my situation and am doing what is required to keep myself and restore the sanctity of my website/blog.

On a Good Friday afternoon, I started to reflect on what had happened and remembered a book I had read by Johann Christoph Arnold about a year ago titled ‘Why Forgive?’.

The book makes a lot more sense now. Whether it is how I felt or how any reader who has ever found themselves in a place where they have to forgive a wrong done to them.

What Forgiving has taught me

By forgiving, I have opened the door to peace and can focus on things and people that matter more to me. I have time to be grateful for the friends and colleagues who helped me, the internet friends who shared their stories and gave me priceless tips.

In forgiving, we are not belittling the hurt and pain that has been inflicted on us. Rather, we are shielding ourselves from being drawn into the dark place where bitterness resides.

It allows us to acknowledge and accept the fact that a wrong has been done to us without the need to retaliate or take out our frustrations on other people.

We rise above ourselves and from a place of objectivity, try to restore what is ours and if it cannot be restored, then accept and move on.

We also take the first step to healing.

Such is the power of forgiving.

It is easy, so very easy to give in to bitterness. Maintain a calm countenance and then let a small unrelated incident make us erupt like a volcano.

If we get away with it because family and friends understand, we might fall into the false sense that we can get away with it as and when we please.

It would not be too long before we would spiral into self-destructive behavior instead of stopping to smell the flowers and count the things that are good in life.

There may also be moments when our anger turns inwards on ourselves with the mind- game of reruns of how we allowed ourselves to be hurt.  When these thoughts start to invade, forgive yourself.

Use an affirmation that acknowledges that you have been hurt and proceed to forgive the perpetrator of the hurt and yourself. It does not have to be very complicated. Just a simple “In forgiving you, I forgive myself” can also work.

The book I referred to has a passage where it quotes the Gospel and the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus Christ says to bless our enemies and those who persecute us.  Who does not remember the famous words– “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”?

From a coaching perspective, my suggestion is to focus on those actions that are in your control. If it is anger or frustration at events or people, then acknowledge your hurt or pain and take the steps within your control to protect yourself. Use the powerful tool of forgiveness to retain your dignity and control of your life.

Emotional Intelligence and Forgiving

Nowadays Emotional Intelligence is being valued as much if not higher than knowledge, skills or even IQ.  People with high Emotional Intelligence have certain traits and skills.

One’s social skills are important and the level of competence in this affects our level of Emotional Intelligence.

Forgiveness is one such social skill the lack of which, as pointed out by psychologists is an indication of low Emotional Intelligence.

Forgiveness is not only good for your health but it also helps us to avoid release frustration, anger and resentment. Internalize these and I can guarantee your blood pressure will shoot up which is definitely not good for your heart.

The way I see it, having high Emotional Intelligence helps us to forgive easily BUT, when we learn to forgive, we raise our EI too!

It comes down to the first quadrant of Daniel Coleman’s Emotional Intelligence Model – Self Awareness that I showed in my post on empathy and EI.

Self-Awareness starts with knowing yourself and the triggers that lead to an action or reaction.

Coming back to my story, it meant I accepted and acknowledged that I had been hurt. I even gave myself permission to cry and feel my pain and shock at the sight of a messed-up website.

Once the emotions were out of the way, I accepted the situation and explored how I wanted to deal with it.

I knew I had a choice. I could have shut down the website and wallowed in misery. Or I could choose to clear myself of resentment and anger at an unknown person or persons by forgiving them. And do what was required to bring my website back in order.

The deed was done and even though I chose the latter course of action, it was not easy working once again with my website developer to fix things and then employing another expert to check for back-doors and plug potential loopholes while also servicing clients and a workshop that I was running at the time.

It wasn’t just the unnecessary expenditure but the time crunch and having to wear a hat that I need not have but for this event that.

I later learned it was part of a brute force attack at the time and I wasn’t the only person who got affected.

Yet something good came out of this harrowing experience.

I developed empathy for other business owners who in later years have had similar experiences. The experience put me in a position to help them cope with the indignation and outrage they were experiencing. Nobody likes the desecration of their online home where visitors are welcome but not intruders who mess up the home.

Forgiving helps lessen the impact of the action that has hurt us enabling us to move ahead.

We never forget what happened, but we remember it as a simple chapter in our life as we write new and better chapters.

Have you ever needed to forgive someone you did not know but who had caused you pain?

How did you cope with it? Did you demonstrate emotionally intelligent traits?

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The book ‘Why Forgive?‘ by the famous author Johann Christoph Arnold is available on Amazon in both paper back and Kindle form. The edition that I am referring to is 2009 which has since been updated in May 2014. I’m providing a preview below of this must read book. Please remember to view my Privacy Policy should you choose to purchase this book.

Written by: Vatsala Shukla

December sees a surge in goal setting & planning webinars and class invitations, whether online or offline hitting our email box.

The one’s that won’t stop until you sign up. Then the next surge of offers and promises that their program will help you achieve all your dreams in the coming year.

Some of them are promoted by affiliates with stories of how they were drowning but now going with the flow. Apparently, that’s why you should enroll in a program (like yesterday) and offer their own bonuses.

There’s nothing wrong with that because we can all use good information and guidance. If an affiliate earns extra cash at year-end, then that’s good Karma.

Who’s the Elephant in the Room?

Except I find most of these sessions ignore or don’t address the actual elephant in the room. Or if they do, it’s done in such a light manner that the participant doesn’t note it.

It’s called Mindset.

You can have the best personal and professional development plan, the best sales and marketing plan, the best any kind of plan.

You can have all the skills it takes to make those plans work but guess what?

It’s all just writing on the paper or typing on the Word document if you don’t take care of your Inner Game.

You also need to make sure you have what it takes to create Change if required.

Access the quiz and mini-ecourse with my compliments by clicking here.

How to tell if you have a Mindset Issue?

You don’t need anyone to tell you the How part. You know you have an issue if:

• You start the year on full steam and then peter out by the month end, or
• Have a “stop-start” pattern, or
• You’re on track and then hear about some new method or technique and run after it. You don’t think or assess if your current method or technique is actually working better for you. (BTW, that’s shiny object syndrome)

I believe Mindset is the number one problem and one of the top reasons why people don’t generate the kind of success they deserve or desire.

That’s why every year, in the second week of December, I send my subscribers tips and resources to work on their Mindset. This helps them prepare for the coming year with the promise of new beginnings.

Choosing a Theme Word for the Year brings to the fore how we want to feel and experience the year.

Knowing what we want is brought out with the Contrast Clarity exercise which I also use in my Career Needs  course.

Of course, there is a goal setting part too. But first we need to get clear about what we really want and how we’ll keep ourselves motivated.

Then and only then can we take action on a daily basis, recording our intentions, actions taken and adjust to ensure a Growth Mindset throughout the year.

Handling Mindset issues created by Society

This elephant in the room is also affected by Society.

Society can condition an individual’s intellect leading them to believe they have limited strength to achieve their purposes.

The individual’s sense of personal existence is a conditioned belief of society’s lack of awareness of the true Self-Being. This conditioning breaks the link of the individual with his Higher Self. The person believes they are the Doer and alone in this life.

In order to break free from these often-self-imposed restrictions, it is important to realize that there is a Power and Presence of God.

This is often referred to as the Source of Power, a Life Energy within each of us. When we allow it, this can guide us to do all manner of good in our life.

Using Affirmations to wipe out conditioned beliefs

In essence, if you were to remove the error of your conditioned belief of your own sense of personal existence, you could use your mind and body to serve as a vehicle and channel for your God-Mind.

This requires that you must first synthesize your mind to the Mind, Presence and Perfection of God as your True Self.

You do this by practicing repetitively synthesizing affirmations to create a Oneness with the God-Power in your mind. Then you channel affirmations to enable the God-Power to flow through you and into your daily activities.

An easy synthesizing affirmation could be “I am One with the Divine Light of God’s Being within me”.

My favorite channeling affirmation which works for any faith is “God directs my footsteps and direction each day.”

This success secret has been known to Christ and other mystics through the ages.

The synthesizing technique uses the power of the Word to influence our conscious and subconscious thoughts. In turn, this has the power to direct and attract good and positive energy to help us to achieve our best.

The concept is clearly seen in the opening images in the Bhagavad Gita (the Celestial Song). The narration tells us about Arjuna the warrior sits in his chariot conversing with his charioteer Lord Krishna.

The Katha Upanishad, one of the four sacred texts of Hinduism throws light on this imagery which is similar to considering ourselves as God’s Vehicle.

Do you use affirmations to develop your Mindset and connect with your Higher Self? I’d love to read about it!

Written By: Vatsala Shukla

We don’t experience just 1 Hero Journey in a lifetime and call it George. In truth, the pattern is repeated every time there is a need to change the status quo.

Each stage of personal and professional development involves a Hero Journey, even if it’s not of epic proportion.

The core ingredients required to embark on a new voyage are always the same – a Wake Up Call and Accepting the Call to Adventure.

I can clearly see my own journey as a person who used to make New Year Resolutions and then feel miserable when I’d break them. If the resolution lasted beyond January 17^th – the quit resolution day, it was an achievement.

In my last post for 2017, I shared my preferred method of setting a theme for the year with a Word as a guiding light for Success and how it helped me achieve a lot more.

There’s truth in Wayne Dyer’s saying about what we focus on multiplies. I saw it in action when my dog was not well and we were doing daily visits to the vet’s clinic a good distance away from my residence.

I used to pray to Archangel Michael for a safe passage with no mishaps as Miss Coco could not be moved too much and white cars would appear all around my vehicle – front, behind and on both sides!

2 years later the white cars still appear every time Miss Coco is in the car going to the vet for a routine visit and I know we are being looked after.

It’s the same with theme Words

My Word for 2018 is Faith and mini-miracles started manifesting shortly before the year-end when my mother had an unfortunate fall on a few broken tiles near the entrance of my residential building.

Her doctor suspected a fractured knee cap which isn’t good news for an elderly person and I started praying like it was going out of fashion.

The energy of Faith started and a day after the accident, when we met the Orthopaedic Surgeon, he ruled out the fracture although there were issues with the knee requiring bed rest.

Shifting from Resolutions to Theme Words hasn’t been all that simple

I knew there was a better way to do things. I discovered it during my Hero Journey when I shifted from being a corporate professional to creating Karmic Ally Coaching.

The skill sets and more importantly, the mindset had to be upgraded. I gave up Resolutions and moved to using the Art of Invocation.

I still use Invocation when I want to create shifts in my mindset. I’m sharing the original post to support your goals for the year aligning your thoughts and vibrations to make this year your best year.

Here’ my original post written on December 31, 2011 updated on 1st January 2022.

With a few hours left to bid 2011 adieu and welcome the New Year, I thought again about my New Year Resolutions and then decided, why bother?

I mean, I belong to the group where each December 31, I think of things I want to do or achieve, habits I want to get rid of and find that I don’t really achieve much of what I set out to.

Not because I am weak. Rather, life has a way of playing out strangely. What made sense at the end of the previous year doesn’t quite have much relevance during the events of the current year. Instead, I achieved a lot more than I had set out to despite not having resolved to.

So this year, I am going to focus on myself. Yes, I will focus on me but with a twist. This year, I’m focusing on qualities I WISH I had by putting into practice the Art of Invocation.

Essentially invocation means calling upon. When used with prayer and meditation, it helps you imbibe the very quality or energy that you wish.

My simple method involves two steps.

Relaxation

1. Sit down or lie down and make yourself comfortable.
2. Relax your muscles particularly the shoulder muscles and gently close your eyes.
3. Visualize that you are in the center of a globe of white positive light.
4. Breathe in deeply visualizing the air you are breathing is white positive energy and circulating through your entire body.
5. Breathe out the air visualizing you’re exhaling black air carrying out of your body all your self-doubts and negative thoughts.
6. Repeat the exercise 10 times or until you start to feel relaxed.

Invocation

Now in a relaxed state repeat aloud the invocation, the statement for reconditioning your mind and bringing about change.

Choose the invocation quality that best suits your need at the moment. For example:

You will begin to feel the difference. Stay in the moment and enjoy the feeling.

For best results, if you want to change fast, take the invocation that you have chosen and repeat it 3 times/day.  This works with affirmations as well.

The invocation will embed itself into your sub-consciousness mind. Since you’ll be saying it so often, you’ll soon begin to believe it.

Most beliefs start through repetition of thought and here your attitude will positively change your emotions. You will be inspired to do more than you think possible!

Are You Ready to create Change?

As a young child in New York, I remember the mass hysteria that the Broadway play Hair created.

Overnight I saw guys with shaggy hair walking around. The attire of my Summer School teacher changed to large floral prints, colorful beaded necklaces and a flower behind her ear.

Even my Aquarian Dad who believed that a man’s hair should never touch the shirt collar, bought the album AND took Mummy to watch the play.

My sister and I realized this was something big but did not know what.  The highlight was the Summer School taking all the children to the Central Park for an open-air concert!

It would be years before I actually understood why the play made an impact so deep that it deserved to be captured on celluloid forever. I was too young to see the original musical, but I have watched the movie and have it on the old-fashioned video cassette. Listen to the song in the video below and you’ll know what I mean.

Over five decades later, my memories of that beautiful summer day involve an orange Popsicle, plenty of “Peace Man” and the song “Let the Sunshine In”.

The song is still my favorite as is the sun, a free source of health and a tool for stress management.

Where do I begin extolling the virtues of Sunshine?

Well, if you have Vitamin D deficiency and want more than just food and supplements, then sunshine is for you!

Spend a little time outside in the morning and soak it in. Of course, be aware that you don’t want to get sunburn. If mornings are out, then make sure you use a sunscreen and take other precautions. Everything in moderation works well.

Suffering from calcium deficiency? Here’s some good news. The time spent in the sun will help your body to better absorb the calcium in your food thanks to the sunny Vitamin D.

Research shows that sleep patterns affect your body weight as well as moods. Sunshine helps to stimulate the pineal gland which secretes melatonin.

Prefer self-help to medication? This is a great way to boost your melatonin secretion to get a good night’s rest and feel calmer.

If you are into Chakra balancing therapy, then this helps too.

The area of the pineal gland corresponds to the Brow or Third Eye Chakra, which is located on the forehead in between the eyes.

The effective functioning of this Chakra helps a person to develop one’s psychic abilities, release hidden and repressed negative thoughts, overcome sleep disorders and improve coordination. 

Other disorders related to the Third Eye Chakra’s imbalance include thyroid problems, mood swings, hormonal problems and bloating, to name a few.

The exercise that I would suggest is to go to the garden or your balcony or even your window early in the morning and face the sun.

Close your eyes and let the sunrays enter your body. Visualize the rays are directly coming into your body through your third-eye area, filling your body with energy and strengthening your aura.

Make it more interesting by using your affirmations or favourite mantra.  Try it for size and see what a difference it makes to your day!

Are you a fan of sunshine? Tell me how you use this free health improvement resource in the comments box below!

Written by: Vatsala Shukla

Update: This post was originally written in March 2013 and had a link referring to an article submitted by Vatsala Shukla to Ezine Articles. The original article received 3 prestigious citations and more resources on Forgiveness.

I’m a member of quite a few groups on both Facebook and LinkedIn where every now and then an empowered lady member refers to her own battle to overcome emotions and feelings of inadequacy created by loved and trusted ones and how she emerged to see the light of her own beautiful self.

It would not be presumptuous on my part to guess that each and every one of us has at some point of time had to face the pain and impact on our psyche caused by others where we had to deal with the gremlin without cutting off relationships or breaking ties with the pain giver.  This week, I’m bringing out an old post from my archives and sharing resources for readers who may be facing this situation in an attempt to help them move forward.

Background to my need to Forgive – big time

The early part of March 2013 was a nightmare.

My website joined the elite group of hacked websites and blogs. This hacking was extremely personal as the hacker went and changed wordings and links that had to do with me as a person. The hacker knew about Life Coaching. I ended up self-coaching myself with affirmations and stress management techniques that I usually teach to my clients!

But it was also a week where I found support and encouragement when I needed it.  My Gratitude Diary is filled up.

Colleagues whom I admire and who are also friends shared the fact that their websites too had been hacked at some point and understood my plight.

The bottom line?

I asked the Universe for help and guidance and the Universe provided tenfold. Gratitude and visualization do work!

It was also a week where a dream came true. I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a leap of faith which worked. My article was published in Ezine Articles and I share the article with you.

Do you need to forgive your loved ones for hurts that affect you in your adult life?

More often than not, there is a session in my Intuition Workshops where one of the participants will talk about the behavior of a relative or friend that brings out the worst in them and enforces the limiting belief of inadequacy or incompetence. This is usually followed by nodding heads across the room and more stories are shared.

We all have beliefs and thought patterns inside of us that our conscious thinking minds are even aware of. Some of these are inherent in our DNA while others are acquired and lie dormant in our sub-conscious mind yet affecting our behavior and reactions in many ways.

One of the most common sources of beliefs and patterns that we are conditioned to, start right in our childhood when parents, teachers or other adults teach us about right and wrong, good or bad. When it results in a positive attitude and a healthy approach to life, it is great but quite often the ones that we remember are the negative reinforcements and criticisms.

Some beliefs and thought patterns are taught to us directly by our parents and other adults by their repeatedly saying things to us like “That is not good enough” or comparing us with others and bringing out the fact that others are better than us. They may mean well, but that is not what happens!

The comparisons and hurtful words may have been spoken at a particular point in time and in a particular context which has long been forgotten but the sense of inferiority remains. In other cases, there has been emotional and other abuse which acts as a gremlin in our adult life and paralyzes us from moving forward.

Children are sensitive and do pick up the vibrations and unspoken body language. I would venture further and say that they absorb the energy in the auras of those who are stronger than them and the effects stay for a much longer time.

The same applies when we are dealing with people who are stronger than us and are able to influence us whether it is through domination or otherwise, until one fine day, as adults, we realize that we are hurting ourselves and feel the need to take back control of our lives and destiny.

Do Affirmations help to resolve self-doubt?

One can use affirmations and creative visualization to overcome self-doubt and find the inner resources to achieve goals but what if these affirmations do not work?

Affirmations are wonderful tools to instill confidence but if the root of the problem is deep and related to someone who is close to you or with whom you have regular and direct contact, whether a parent, sibling, teacher, boss, friend or someone who has influence over you, then no matter how many affirmations you may say, they will not work until you are able to silence that inner voice that says something to the contrary.

Your buttons will still be pushed and you will react rather than act. At the very best, you will be installing a counter belief but the limiting belief will still exist; you will achieve a neutral state but still find yourself swimming in a mental soup.

So, what should you do in such a case?

There is a technique that you can try without worrying about any side-effects which involves affirmations, forgiveness and your taking control of the situation.

The first step is to decide which limiting belief you wish to release yourself from and the perpetrator of that limiting belief.

Next, drink a glass of water visualizing that with each sip, you are cleansing yourself and preparing to take the required steps in a state of complete emotional calmness.

Then ground yourself using the technique of visualization. Perform this exercise seated on a chair with your back straight and feet flat on the floor or sit cross-legged on the floor with your back straight. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.

Breathe in a normal fashion for a few seconds and then start your visualization breathing as follows:

Inhale deeply and visualize that you are inhaling white light smoke which is cleansing you of your negative feelings and beliefs. Visualize that it is going to the bottom of your stomach.

Then with every exhalation, visualize that this white light smoke has turned black and is carrying with it all the negative feelings that are inside your body.

Repeat this exercise for about a minute. Return slowly to consciousness by counting backwards from 10 to 1 and slowly open your eyes. You will feel balanced, rejuvenated and refreshed.

Once you feel that you are ready, say the following affirmation in a clear and strong voice:

“I accept that ______(name of person) has hurt me and I accept that I have allowed myself to be hurt. I forgive _________(name of person) and in the process I forgive myself. I now cut any and all psychic ties between ________(name of person) and myself. These ties are lovingly released, healed and sent into the Light and SO IT IS.”

Acknowledging that you have allowed the other person to hurt you returns control of the situation to you. By forgiving the person, you are letting go of the grudge and allowing yourself to be forgiven. In the open and sacred place created, you let go of any remaining remnants to be neutralized by Love and Light. While one cannot erase memories, one can remember them with neutrality, or at least take the sting out of them.

The best part about this technique is that you can do it on a daily basis as well as to heal past hurts. From experience I have noticed that something amazing does happen and interactions with the people for whom we use this technique actually improve.

Is it releasing Love into the Universe or releasing ourselves from our limiting beliefs and fears? It could be both. What I do know is that it works.

When we take back control, it reflects in our self-esteem, attitudes and perceptions and that is all that is needed to change the world for ourselves. It can take time, but the first step begins within us.

Have you ever had to apply the art of forgiveness to move forward? I’d love to read about your experience and tips that you can share with other readers who may need to know that forgiveness is possible.

Additional Resources on Forgiveness:

This post would be incomplete if I did not share additional resources that I have written or shared in the past on the topic of Forgiveness.

 When Forgiving Helps to Heal and Improves Emotional Intelligence

Instead of Stoking the Flames of Resentment, Forgive by Vatsala Shukla

     Why Forgive? By Johann Christoph Arnold

PS. The book Why Forgive is suggested reading because I enjoyed and benefited from it. Please read my Privacy Policy (link in the footer of the website page) before considering your decision to read or purchase this book.

Have you ever had the experience that an incident is long gone and forgotten by everyone but you are unable to get it out of your mind?

It can happen to the best of us not once but often in different areas of our life – the office, the home and even with friends. It might have been something important that has now been clarified or some action which might not be a big deal for the other party but is for you. Apologies have been given and accepted, and YET……

I often see this issue come up with coaching clients who tell me that although the situation has been contained, they cannot get it off their minds.

My suggestion, whether it is in your career or personal life, is to look at the facts and then look within. If something is bothering you, find a quiet moment for yourself, self-analyze, introspect and ask yourself, “What is really bothering me about this?”

If you are able to locate the issue, then find the emotion or feeling that comes up with the issue. Next, try to see if there is something in your past, whether in relationships or a previous job where a similar incident may have taken place or a similar behavior shown towards you.

If it hits a button, then quite possibly you have sub-consciously formed a judgement towards the behaviour and anyone who reminds you of it gets judged by your Inner Self even if you have outwardly clarified matters and settled them.

What if you internalized the initial incident and have made it all about you and feel that it is your fault? Do you feel guilty? You cannot change others but you can change yourself.

A simple but effective way to check is to ask yourself, if you have made a judgement about the issue.  If you receive an affirmative answer from your Inner Voice, then release the judgement by simply saying aloud or to yourself with strong determination

I release the judgement that I am at fault because ______________(whatever you feel personally about the incident, your thoughts or actions)

If you have sub-consciously passed judgement on yourself that you have a negative quality, it helps to address the quality and your thoughts towards it. You can try telling yourself

I release the judgment that I am in fact ____ or

I release the judgement that ________________is bad or wrong

In short, release your thoughts and feelings that are pulling you down or keeping you from moving on. You can do this any number of times for as many judgement that you believe you have made about yourself.

What if you have made a judgement about someone else? The subordinate who took initiative to get a job done while you were too busy to guide him and you now feel that there is an agenda in place to take credit and make you look bad? (It happens a lot in the corporate world!)

Well, instead of projecting your guilt onto the subordinate or any other person and blaming them, release your judgement and put the incident in the correct perspective.

If it is a case of showing you one up, then you know what you need to do. Otherwise, follow the same procedure with the exception that you are releasing the judgement about the other person and their action.

I release the judgement that (other person’s name) is bad because………….

Releasing a judgement based on guilt or blame do take time and you may need to practice a lot but the beauty of releasing is that you free up energy to do more constructive tasks. Your perspective changes and a lot of thinking time used up earlier in propagating negative thoughts and accompanying depression is suddenly available for creativity and productivity.

The sun comes out from behind the dark clouds and it’s a great day to start something new!

This week, I’d like you to try out the Releasing exercise for size and see what comes up. Do remember to come back and share your experience!

Recently, a client of mine asked me why her affirmations were not working during creative visualization.  She had been doing all the steps diligently and yet was not getting the right results.

My immediate response was to ask if she really believed in what she was affirming and we decided to check using the Muscle Test.

The answer became clear.

Her consciously believing in her affirmations was not being reflected in her sub-conscious thoughts; in other words – in-congruence.

We are now working on re-aligning the conscious and sub-conscious mind. If you are working on creatively visualizing your desires and not getting full results, you might want to try muscle testing for congruence.

Muscle Testing for limiting beliefs

I’ve recorded a short video of the process. If you prefer to read, the instructions are given below.

Muscle Testing can be used in many ways and for many purposes, but the focus today is on your beliefs.

If you hold a belief subconsciously then your muscular response will prove it. So let’s start.

Take 3 deep breaths and then join the thumb and index finger of your left hand together tightly, as if you are trying to pinch. Do the same for your right hand.

Now take the right hand and put these 2 joined fingers through the hole created by the left-hand fingers. We are now in position to test your beliefs.

Suppose you are asserting that you are overweight.

State in a loud and firm voice – I AM overweight.

Now try to open the circle created by your left hand fingers by opening the right hand fingers.

If this belief is true, you will not be able to open the circle. If it is false; that is your subconscious mind does not believe it, you will be able to open the circle easily.

The muscle test is also a great way to connect with your intuition. Find out what you should do or if you need to take heed of your gut feeling.

Re-framing limiting beliefs requires congruence between the conscious and sub-conscious mind.

If you are working on your beliefs, this test is an easy way to check if your efforts are working or if further tweaking is required to produce the desired results.

Try the muscle test and let me know if it worked for you.

There is another way to connect with your intuition and that is using the Pendulum.

Maybe that will work better for you? I recommend checking out Andrea Hess’s book Unlock Your Intuition. I’ve used it in the past to zero in on my personal development activities and it is a must read.

I often use affiliate links while recommending products and books that I have personally found useful and which I recommend to my clients. Please read my Privacy policy before acting on my recommendations.

The first step in any self-improvement program is to believe that you can improve yourself.

To bring about the changes, you need to first change how you think. By thinking, I don’t mean just happy positive thoughts but an underlying self-belief that you have what it takes to make the positive changes within yourself.

You are your best ally, friend and companion in this change process.

Deciding to change is the first step and most crucial step you will ever take.

The journey to self-improvement starts with you. Self-help and personal change starts with your decision that you are going to take action. Without this decision, any step or action that you take will be futile.

Your own self-belief is the key to successful life change, achievement, contentment and becoming unstoppable.

You can create change for yourself starting right now.  Try this self-coaching exercise to improve your self-belief is by retraining your thought processes, whether conscious or sub-conscious.

This exercise has 2 parts- relaxation and affirmations.

Simply doing the relaxation part in itself will lift your mood and make you feel positive. Combined with the affirmations, which is your positive self-talk you will re-condition your subconscious mind to believe in yourself.

Different people take different levels of time to change so persevere with it and in time, it will become easier, natural and more enjoyable. Best yet, it WILL work.

Relaxation technique

1. Sit down or lie down and make yourself comfortable.
2. Relax your muscles particularly the shoulder muscles and gently close your eyes.
3. Visualize that you are in the centre of a globe of white positive light.
4. Breathe in deeply visualizing that the air you are breathing is white positive energy and circulating through your entire body.
5. Breathe out the air visualizing that you are exhaling black air which is carrying out of your body all your self-doubts and negative thoughts.
6. Repeat the exercise 10 times or until you start to feel relaxed.

Affirmation Statement starting with “I AM”

7. Now in a relaxed state repeat the following affirmations, which are the scripts for reconditioning your mind and bringing about change aloud. Choose the affirmation that best suits your need at the moment. Better yet, create an affirmation that you are comfortable with.

• I am in full control of my self-esteem
• I am honest with myself in areas that need self-improvement
• Every success I achieve fuels in me the desire for more
• I can achieve anything that I can imagine
• I have the ability to visualize every aspect of my success
• My ability is greater than any challenge I could face
• I’m making the most of my life now and every day.
• I am committed to living my life with passion
• I’m using my unique gifts to enrich myself and others
• I’m making myself worth more each and every day
• I bring out the best in others
• Every day and in every way, I am getting better and better
• Today is my day to excel

How to use this method for optimal results

For best results, if you want to change your life fast, even though it might seem like its slow, take the statement that you have chosen and repeat them 3 times/day. 

The statement will embed itself into your sub-consciousness. Since you’ll be saying them so often, you’ll soon begin to believe them.

Most beliefs start through repetition of thought and in this case your attitude will positively change your emotions and you’ll be inspired to do more than you think possible!

This self-coaching exercise helps to build your inner confidence muscle. Now how about demonstrating it in the workplace to prove you are not only capable but also ready to take on more responsibilities and have leadership potential?

If you’re ready to step up your game, then download Karmic Ally Coaching’s Ultimate Confidence Checklist by clicking here or on the image below or completing the consent form to confirm you wish to receive the checklist.

You’ll also receive my news emails with other professional and personal development tips. Be assured your email is safe with us and we don’t badger with emails – that’s not professional!

Did the exercise help? Please do share your results with me in the Comments Box. 

Written by: Vatsala Shukla

A few months back, I was watching a children’s television show with my nephew about Indian folk tales in cartoon form. The story is one that even features in the Osho Zen Tarot Card deck as the explanation for the Major Arcana card called Conditioning.

It’s about a lion that was brought up by a herd of sheep and even thought he was one.

In the television version, the lion even wore a sheep skin and made sounds like a sheep, sharing their habitat and eating grass.

Then one fine day, an old lion that was passing by saw the sheep-lion and literally forces him to see his reflection in the forest pond. 

At that moment, the sheep-lion awakens to his identity and lets out a huge roar that resounds throughout the jungle. Leaves fall, birds fly away, the deer go scampering and the rest as they say is history.

I’d say the lion found his Gravitas!

Looking at it in modern day context, quite a few of us get caught in a herd mentality.

We forget there is a difference between personality and individuality.

It’s an indicator of low Self-Awareness and consequently low Emotional Intelligence.

We adopt a personality based on others’ perceptions and externals instead of looking within and finding our true voice – Our Roar.

The 2 Life Direction Choices Before Us

This story brings out the two choices that we have for direction in life.

We can either go along with the majority of society without thinking for ourselves. It is easier not to take decisions and responsibility for the quality of our lives.

Or we can choose to break free of conditioning and be guided by our inner Higher Source of wisdom. 

A person who is tuned into one’s Higher Source or God-Mind will find that they will be intuitively self-directed to rely on that intuitive self-direction from a Higher Source.

The many benefits of choosing to turn to the Higher Source

When one embraces guidance from one’s Higher and true self, the decisions that we make are the right ones for achieving the purpose of our soul in this lifetime.

Letting go of personal egotism, we also let go of our illusions. Thus, becoming more aware of ourselves and our surroundings. 

Focusing on externals alone can get us caught in judgments whereas turning inwards to our Higher Mind by maintaining a positive and peaceful attitude at the surface part of one’s consciousness through the practice of meditation, visualization, prayer and affirmation will enable us to raise the right vibrations in the atmosphere for our Higher Mind to more readily influence us through intuition. 

While the directions for affirmations, prayer and visualization are simple and can easily be learned by reading self-help books, it is the student who has to be prepared to let go of any previous conditioning.

The student must seek to listen to his/her Inner Voice and committed not to let personal ego and emotion corrupt the guidance messages received.

Making changes however may at times require being shown our reflection in the mirror either by our well-wishers or a guide.

This is perhaps where the old lion came into the story. To be the catalyst that changed the sheep-lion into a real lion!

But there’s more to just realizing that we need to step into our authentic power. Once we have the wake-up call, it’s time to answer our Call to Adventure. This Kindle book will guide you on your transformation journey – guaranteed!

 ROAR!

Once you’ve found your Roar, it’s equally important that others become aware of it, whether in your business or workplace. That’s where you’ll find this Executive Presence Tutorial useful.

Lion Roar by Lee Wag

Image by Heri Santoso from Pixabay

Written By: Vatsala Shukla