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Every struggle you experience only makes you stronger, resilient and forms part of your inevitable success story.

I’m able to say this with conviction because whenever I’ve experienced a situation where I’ve had to struggle, I’ve emerged stronger, more empowered and in a position to guide others who are on that path.

In my post ‘Want that promotion? Better raise your Executive Presence’, I shared about how I raised my Executive Presence and Gravitas but there is another part of the story that I hadn’t shared.

The story of feeling confused, hurt, upset and even angry that I had been denied a promotion and pay increase because of that lady Manager. The fact that I had 6 months to prove myself worthy of that promotion hurt.

My colleagues knew it was unfair but only one of them, Diana, had the courage to speak up and tell me what I needed to hear.

She acknowledged the unfairness of the situation and told me that in later years I would be grateful that this setback had happened early in my career when I could learn the lessons and use them later unlike others who might have a smooth sail early in their career and then get hit by a similar situation.

Diana told me to take it in my stride and show everyone what I was really all about.

Bless her heart because I took on the secondment to the Insolvency Department with the right attitude. Even though I struggled in the start, by the time I left, I knew I was a stronger professional and achieved a lot more in my career at a young age.

She was right of course. When the recession started shortly after we all qualified as Chartered Accountants, quite a few of my colleagues and friends in the profession were given the pink slip as they walked into the office one morning and escorted out.

They went through the same emotional upheaval I had earlier. I gave them the same advice Diana had given me because it worked. Mindset is crucial to handle both failure and success.

Now ask yourself, if you always got what you wanted without needing to struggle or do hard work, what kind of person would you be?

Imagine what type of a person you would be if everything came to you without a single setback, with no failure or pain?

The honest answer?

You’d be a weak person lacking resilience. When faced with a trial or tough situation, you would be completely unable to handle it appropriately.

Without overcoming the negative opinions everyone else offers, without overcoming those failures, and dealing with obstacles, you would crumble like a house of cards.

When we talk about success, we’re not talking about the result but rather the process to success.

Buying the latest smartphone isn’t indicative of your success. Purchasing a rooftop apartment in a tony location isn’t success. Even being awarded Employee of the Month or Year isn’t success. What it means is that you are succeeding.

Success is a mental transformation. It is the process of leaving behind your mentally fragile self to embrace your mental strength.

As you struggle, the obstacles and failures you walk through will harden your mind, preparing you to achieve your rewards.

I’m reminded of the story of the man who wanted to be kind to a butterfly that was starting to hatch from its cocoon.

He watched the butterfly for hours as it struggled to force itself through a tiny hole. Then, it suddenly stopped making progress and looked like it was stuck.

Wanting to help the butterfly out, he took a pair of scissors and cut off the remaining bit of cocoon and the butterfly emerged easily although it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man thought nothing of it, and he sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly.

However, that never happened. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with small wings and a swollen body.

What this well-meaning man hadn’t realized was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small hole were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was free.

The struggle was required in the process to achieve success.

While this is a moral story, one keeps reading about the stories of lottery winners who are unable to mentally cope with the large sums of money they win overnight and end up wasting it.

They waste it all. Often, coming out on the other side with less than they had before they experienced the big win. This is fairly common for any person who comes into a large sum of money. How can you know how to handle that much money? It’s a process, not the result.

If you don’t go through struggle, then you have never gone through something that will strengthen you, leaving you weak. Without struggle, you can’t grow. Without resistance, how will you develop strength?

It’s impossible to get what you really want if you aren’t challenging yourself. If you aren’t willing to deal with the pain of growth, then it means you’ve chosen mediocrity. You aren’t really hungry enough to strive for your dreams and wants.

So how desperately do you want to achieve your dream career or life?

If you’re so desperate to achieve it, then you will accept the struggle, you will embrace the pain. Those are the sacrifices necessary to get you where you want to go. Everything comes with a price, and the price of success is struggle.

When you accept pain and struggle as part of the process, then struggle will be your ally as you become a stronger person and your soul evolves. It’s difficult to appreciate the great things in your life when you don’t experience struggle and disappointment.

Struggle forms part of your story because struggle is what has made you who you are today. Think about it. If you could go back and change mistakes and failures, would you?

Your initial response might be yes. Think about it a little deeper, all of your mistakes have led you to this point. If you didn’t make them, who knows where you would be.

No matter how difficult life can be, you’re in a pretty great spot, aren’t you? You are if you take a look around you and choose gratitude.

People love the underdog, the person who had to work through struggle and overcome challenges. They’re not interested in hearing the stories of people born into privilege and get everything without working for it.

Embrace struggle, it is part of your story.

5 Reasons struggles happen but can easily be overcome

While we accept that struggles are inevitable in life it’s equally true that overcoming them isn’t easy. But you can. The more important point is that we often make certain mistakes that keep us in struggles.

Are you making these mistakes?

1. Uncertain Goals

If you don’t set clear goals for yourself to work towards, you’ll find yourself floundering. You will always do better in life and cope better with struggles when you have clear goals to pursue.

Goals can help guide your social life, career, finances, and even family life. When you have a goal to work toward it’s easier to view struggle as the challenge that it is.

2. Demanding Immediate Gratification

Instant streaming, reservations, same-day delivery… we live in a world of immediate gratification. Yet, the world around us doesn’t always move quite as quickly (or efficiently).

If you’re expecting things to come to you easily, then you’re going to face disappointment and frustration.

You need patience when you are attempting to overcome the obstacles you face. Hard work is time-consuming, it’s a build-up, a slow burn. You will always be disappointed if you expect everything to work in your favor and quickly. You will not get immediate results, and that’s okay.

3. Inability to Prioritize

If you are constantly overwhelmed, then you’re probably going to stay in a state of struggle. You might have a list of things you want to do but if you don’t know how to prioritize these things, then you’re not going to achieve the success you crave.

Prioritization isn’t just a time management skill, you need it to identify and work on those things that move the needle for you. If you are unable to prioritize, you are going to stay stuck in your struggles.

4. You Give Up Easily

Do you give up at the first sight of trouble or as soon as things turn against you? You won’t be successful if you can’t overcome struggles. Yet, that’s what we do.

The majority of life’s problems will require multiple attempts before you find a successful solution. If you quit at the first sign of trouble, then you’re not moving yourself forward.

5. Blaming Others Instead of Accepting Responsibility

It’s easy to blame others for your struggles. But isn’t that an easy way to deflect responsibility? It might make you feel good in the moment but you still have to deal with the struggle.

It’s vital for you to learn to take responsibility for your actions and behaviour. It’s up to you to find solutions to your problems, it isn’t on others.

You may have had a difficult childhood, you could have hit a bad run of luck. However, if you hold onto those negative feelings it will keep you in your struggles.

Own your mistakes, they’re a badge of honour, they are going to mould you into the person you become.

When you feel you need support to overcome these struggles, it’s perfectly fine to ask for help. It isn’t a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is a sign of self-love and courage to admit you need support to get through a difficult time.

We all face struggles at some point or the other in life but it doesn’t mean that we need to stay stuck in those struggles.

All you need to do is make a choice and then take active steps to push yourself beyond your struggles and still find success.

5 helpful Tips to move through Struggle to Success

Sometimes the struggles we experience are outside of the realm of our control.

For example, losing your job during the pandemic or falling ill and requiring more time off than is statutorily allowed from work.  Yet, they are powerful and can easily drag us down.

Bearing that in mind, here are 5 tips that will help you make your way through struggle as unscathed as possible. These are things that you can incorporate into your daily life.

1. Make a Gratitude List

Gratitude is a powerful feeling and not just for law of attraction purposes. Researchers have documented the link between well-being and gratitude.

These researchers have found that habitually focusing on the positives in life can boost self-esteem, reduce the symptoms of depression, and improve overall life satisfaction.

The simplest way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a list. Get yourself in the habit of writing down a few things you’re grateful for daily. It only takes a minute, but that minute of effort can heavily influence your well-being, anxiety, and stress. You don’t have to struggle.

2. Spend Time Meditating

You likely already know how meditation can help relieve stress. It’s important to recognize that regular meditation can provide you with improvements in your overall well-being.

Struggle often impacts us in different ways, generally in levels of stress and anxiety. There are different types of meditation so, you will be able to find one that suits you and your schedule.

3. Regular Exercise

Do not underestimate the power of exercise, it can heavily influence you both psychologically and physically. The surge of endorphins that shoots through your body after you exercise helps you deal with stress and leaves you feeling energized.

Often, the most difficult aspect of struggle is how it influences your overall health and wellness. When you go through struggles it impacts your stress levels, anxiety, and can also trigger depressive symptoms.

This just complicates the feeling of struggle. It’s something you can combat by pushing yourself to exercise regularly.

4. Learn to Laugh

Laughter doesn’t just improve your mood, it also relieves stress. According to a study from Loma Linda University in California, after watching 20 minutes of comedy videos, older adults had a reduction in cortisol.

Now you have an excuse to watch your favorite sitcom!

5. Embrace Struggle

Whenever I faced a daunting struggle, my father used to tell me I had 2 options – brave it or brazen it. The point is, sometimes you just have to ride it out.

While the strategies we discussed above are all about fighting stress, overcoming struggle, and protecting your well-being, it’s also important to consider the alternative. You can’t always get rid of stress.

You can’t always dismiss struggles. At some point, you will just have to cope with it as best you can and ride it out.

What you can do, however, is stop imagining the worst-case scenario. Or if your Inner Critic doesn’t cut you slack, just ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? This one tactic will remove the sting of fearing failure and put things back in perspective.

Take a giant step back and look at the positives in your life. They will far outweigh the struggles if you look hard enough.

Final Words of Guidance

There isn’t a magic bullet for issues like stress and struggle. They are natural parts of life that we just have to deal with as they come. We do have the power within ourselves to overcome difficult times. We simply need to take the time to stop and ask ourselves what we are doing.

Are you allowing the struggle to overpower you? Or, are you going to take proactive steps to overcome struggle?

The choice is yours, and the strategies above can help you make the right decision.