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A disconnect with one’s Inner Self is often a reason we experience low self-confidence.
Problems with self confidence & self esteem are often maintained by habitual patterns of thought, created in childhood or adolescence.
Our minds tend to look for validation of our views and opinions and once a thought takes firm hold of our mind, we’re normally looking for examples to validate our opinion.
Sometimes, incidents in later adult life too can shake up one’s self confidence.
It’s not uncommon for people who’ve had a car accident to lose their nerve to drive again. That is why it’s advised to get behind the steering wheel as soon as possible.
You don’t want to lose self-confidence.
It happened to me many years ago when I was driving along the Corniche in Doha and my driver side front tyre burst. The car went into a tailspin and while I did manage to stop the car in time, I was shaken.
No harm was done to me although the vehicle needed to go to the garage. After the shock wore off, I didn’t want to drive again.
Suddenly my mind was focused on driving accident statistics. I believe I’d never have driven again had I not had the support of my parents and the doctor who told my parents I needed to drive as soon as possible.
So until the car came back, my Dad used to drive me to work on the same route and even though I felt a panic attack I learned to control it.
When the car came back from the garage, I drove it at the ridiculous speed of 20 km/hour the first time on that very route with my Dad and his driver following up from behind.
Then I realized my car and I were okay and picked up the speed worthy of a Honda Prelude. I’d regained my confidence.
Avoid the Self-Criticism Trap
Are you too Self-Critical? You could be draining your confidence and need to do some introspecting.
Introspection teaches us a lot about ourselves. It helps us see we aren’t perfect and give us the right balance of doing what is right and doing whatever we want, no matter the circumstance.
People who aren’t introspective often blame others for all problems, even when it’s their fault.
But here’s something you need to know. Don’t overdo it to the point where you’re knocking yourself down. That completely defeats the purpose of confidence building.
You need to find the right balance of learning about yourself and keeping up your self-esteem.
Always evaluate every situation you find yourself involved with. Don’t make assumptions as they can be wrong, without the right information.
You want to make sure that you have covered all the basis before making any determinations.
You want to eliminate any possibility that you are the cause of any negative situations. If you are, own up to it and try to make the situation right.
Don’t just take the blame for everything.
If you discover that you are not the cause, then speak up and let that be known.
Self-critical people will tend to blame themselves automatically. This can bring down your spirits over time.
It’s okay to help others when they are the responsible party. When you do this, they will be more willing to help you when you are at fault.
It’s important to pick your battles, too. If you find something minor that came up, you may want to let it go. Sometimes, it can even be worth taking the fall for these minor situations. It won’t have much impact, and by doing this, you can help everyone involved to move forward.
If you take the fall for major things, however, you are setting up to make the situation worse. The person who is truly responsible will continue to act in a detrimental way because you let them get away with it.
If you are taking the blame for everything, it’s time to stop. It’s not helping, and you may not be able to reverse what people believe about you. Many people do this to keep the peace, but in the end, it’s not good for anyone.
Responsible parties need to take responsibility, and the only way that will happen is to stand up to the culprits. By doing so, you will gain more confidence and make each of these situations right.
Make your Inner Self your Ally for Confidence
Have you been falling into the Self-Criticism Trap?
If you find you’re often putting yourself down, blowing problems out of proportion or ‘preparing to fail’, then quite possibly, you have lost touch with your inner self or inner power.
It is this inner self or inner power where your confidence comes from. It is not your relationship with others – as a parent, child, spouse, friend or colleague; or what you do for a living that defines who you are, these are simply the things that you do.
The person you are is the very essence of your being. Your inner power, which can also be called, your Higher Self, is all knowing and wise.
3 Ways to Connect with your Inner Self
The Higher Self communicates with us through intuition and the best way to boost your self confidence is to reconnect with it.
Here are 3 methods to reconnect with your Inner Self that also provide other benefits.
Develop the habit of Daily Meditation
Meditation will not only help you develop your intuition, it will also help you make better decisions which in turn will boost your confidence.
Studies have shown that people who undergo meditation on a regular basis find their capacities to make decisions actually improves.
Science has an explanation for this. The more frequently we meditate, the more folding is experienced by the brain’s cortex.
This process is known as gyrification, and it provides our brains with a larger mass so that we can make better choices with a lot more precision and accuracy.
In choosing to meditate on a regular basis, you gain the ability to view situations with objectivity.
You strengthen your ability to respond to situations with a level head and avoid making choices you’ll regret out of fear, anger, or any other reaction that might creep up without careful analysis first.
Meditation will provide anybody with the ability to adapt to whatever circumstances come their way and remain confident and forgiving even when mistakes are made.
Overall, the benefits that meditation has on the brain are exceptionally well suited to anybody.
If you’re in a leadership position and would like to be able to lead by a calm, firm example and make choices without being too impulsive or reactive, then practicing meditation regularly can help your brain to make that balance possible in your life.
Your team will see the difference right away and likely feel compelled to do their best for a leader who exudes confidence and calm.
Meditation has some incredible benefits, not only for yourself, but for those around you as well, so why not give it a try?
You can learn a simple technique for meditation in this post.
Journaling for Self-Discovery
Journaling has become a popular form of self-discovery; helping people to identify what they want and more importantly – how to get it.
Through regular journaling you can discover more about yourself and your goals than you ever thought possible.
One of the main ways journaling helps with self-discovery, is it enables you to identify with your inner thoughts and feelings.
Understanding yourself is key to living a happy, more fulfilled life.
Journals allow you to write freely and openly. You’re free from judgment, which means you’ll often write straight from the heart and uncover things about yourself you never even realized.
Not only does this help you to identify with how you feel, but it also gives you the opportunity to see how you can potentially change your emotional reactions.
Giving you more control over your thoughts and feelings enables you to shut out any negativity and focus purely on the positive – helping you to live a happier life.
Reconnect with Mother Nature
Sit in an outdoor environment, embrace the sounds of nature, allowing your thoughts to come and go as you enjoy nature.
Watch this short video for the tip and if you want to learn the technique, click here for Nature Walking Meditation.
All these techniques will enable you to connect with yourself rather than letting the world do your connecting.
In touch with your Inner Self, you will have greater clarity of who you really are.
Want to learn more about Self Confidence? My Kindle book Self-Confidence in 8 Steps is a good starting point.
This post was originally published in November 2011 and has been updated for relevance.
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