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Listening is not just a powerful networking tool but one that is a non-negotiable for developing charisma and leadership presence, especially for women.

A few years ago, I coached a talented woman leader, whom we’ll call Priya. She was struggling to gain influence in her organization. Priya was brilliant and hardworking, yet she often felt overlooked in meetings.

One day, she said something that stuck with me:

“I speak, but it feels like no one hears me. And the louder I get, the worse it becomes.”

As we worked together, I discovered something surprising. Priya wasn’t struggling because she couldn’t express herself. She was struggling because she was trying so hard to be heard that she had stopped listening.

Priya was responding quickly, pushing to make her point and unintentionally missing the subtle nuances in conversations. The very cues, concerns, and subtext that would have allowed her to connect and influence more powerfully.

Once she shifted her focus to listening deeply, everything changed. People began to respond differently. They leaned in. They opened up and trusted her more.

That’s the power of listening.

In a world where women often have to work harder to be recognized, respected, or included, developing strong listening skills becomes a strategic advantage. Not just a communication nicety.

Communication isn’t just about Speaking, but about Connection

We often think of communication as talking, presenting, or explaining our point of view. But communication is far broader and richer. It happens through conversations, body language, tone, silence, curiosity, and even presence.

For women professionals, particularly those navigating leadership paths, communication is not just a tool but a differentiator. It influences how others perceive your executive presence, competence, and credibility.

Here’s the good news:

You don’t need a communications degree to master impactful communication. You only need awareness, intention, and practice.

And it all begins with one foundational skill.

The most underrated Leadership Skill: Listening

Let’s be honest. People are not natural great listeners as they are focused on themselves. We’re wired to prioritize our own needs and perspectives. Part of that is a survival mechanism.

As a result, we often enter conversations thinking about:

• What we want to say
• How we want to be perceived
• What we need to get done
• How quickly we can move on to the next task

But leadership, and networking, isn’t about speaking the most.

It’s about understanding the most.

For women, listening becomes even more powerful because:

• It softens resistance in high-pressure environments
• It helps you read the room more accurately
• Allows you to respond with precision rather than reaction
• It builds credibility and trust—2 things women are too often judged harshly on

Listening isn’t passive. It’s strategic.

To increase your ability to listen to others, the next time you are speaking with someone, repeat back everything they say. That may be a little unnerving to them, at first.

But, if they look at you with a bewildered look, explain that you are just making sure you understood what they said. Once they get past the awkwardness, they will welcome the exchange.

Being open to new information, alternate perspectives, and different solutions is what enables you to continue growing and reaching for new goals in life. And you cannot do that without learning to listen.

Practical Ways to strengthen your Listening Skills

1. Listen to learn, not to respond

When was the last time you listened so carefully to someone that you learned something new or saw things from a new viewpoint?

Most people “listen” with one ear while mentally preparing their reply.

Women often feel pressure to prove themselves in a conversation, which makes this even more common.

Instead of approaching a conversation with a mind set on your agenda, try asking yourself “What can this person teach me?”

It shifts your energy from defensiveness to curiosity—and that shift is felt.

Starting each day with a mindset focused on curiosity and learning can help you become a better listener.

2. Ask better, deeper Questions

Whether you are practicing curiosity or not, asking deeper and better questions can also help you become a better listener.

Asking questions gives the other person the space to provide you with their truth. When the spotlight is off you, you can focus on attending to their words and meaning.

Open-ended questions give others permission to share more, and they give you access to insights you wouldn’t get otherwise.

Try questions like:

• “What led you to that conclusion?”
• “Tell me more about what’s most important to you here.”
• “How can I support you better?”

Questions are one of a woman leader’s most powerful tools. They establish clarity, reduce assumptions, and strengthen rapport.

3. Pay attention to Non-Verbal Cues

Be aware of body language or you can miss essential information. Tone, posture, facial expressions or eye contact reveal far more than words. They tell you a great deal about their comfort level or mood.

Paying attention to body language provides you with much more information about the intent, context, and emotional content of the message being sent. Learn to carefully observe these non-verbal messages if you want to improve your listening skills.

Women are often naturally perceptive, but we rush through conversations and miss these cues.

Slow down and notice:

• Does the person look uncomfortable?
• Did their tone shift?
• Are they holding something back?

Reading the room is a leadership skill few people teach but every successful woman uses.

4. Embrace Pauses and Silence

Silence feels uncomfortable for many professionals. Especially women who’ve been conditioned to “fill the space” to prove competence.

If you want to become a better listener, learn to stop and think about what was just said before giving a response. Living with pauses and silence is becoming almost a lost art in today’s world

But silence is powerful.

It gives:

• You time to process
• The other person time to think
• The conversation a chance to deepen

Pausing before responding also signals confidence and thoughtfulness.

When you start responding more slowly, your conversation partner will notice, and they, in turn, may slow down their responses, too. This can change the entire conversation with one simple strategy.

5. Listen more than you Speak

A simple rule: Aim for a 2:1 listening-to-speaking ratio.

When you listen more:

• You gather richer information
• You respond with greater precision
• And you appear more composed and credible
• Others feel valued, leading them to value you in return

Listening is often the fastest way to strengthen your executive presence.

You must consider the feelings of the people with who you’re communicating.

Even if you are a manager, barking orders at people is one of the least effective ways. Consider everyone’s opinions and needs. Keep people engaged in the communication platform. This way they take ownership in the process. That is a massive benefit for excellent communication.

You will get more out of people when this happens than merely rattling off commands as if they are robots. There are some instances, such as the military, where shouting out orders is necessary. But these are the exception, not the rule.

Why Listening elevates your Network

Networking isn’t about impressing people. It’s about understanding them.
When you become a better listener:

• People trust you sooner
• They open up faster
• They remember how you made them feel
• And they see you as someone who “gets it”

This is what turns acquaintances into allies and allies into advocates.

Just like Priya, you don’t need to talk more to be heard.
You need to connect more to be influential.
And connection begins with listening.