Guidance Resources mentioned in the video

6 Ways to use your Negative Thoughts to your Advantage 

Releasing Negative Trends – A New Year Resolution

Growth Mindset Bundle 

Detox Your Toxic Workplace

Prefer to read? Here’s the Transcript!

Lots of mindsets are spoken and written about in great detail in books and on the internet. We hear about the Abundance Mindset and its opposite, the Scarcity Mindset. Then you have the Growth versus Fixed Mindset.

You also have the Money Mindset and Success Mindset. But there’s one mindset I don’t hear a lot about which is really important if you want a successful life and career.

It’s called a Negative Mindset.

Our energy impacts not only ourselves but also those around us. That’s why when you have a negative mindset; it’s going to affect every aspect of your life.

Your energy impacts those around you. So, if you bring a negative energy into the workplace, it’s going to have several repercussions.

Today I want to show you how negativity affects your job with a small case study.

Then you will also see how you can start to eliminate your own negativity in the workplace.

So, how does negativity impact your job?

Sometime back I was working with an amazing and highly talented client whom I’ll call Amrita. We were working on raising her visibility in the workplace to position her for a leadership promotion.

We discovered a roadblock that simply had to be removed. It was her negative mindset that was affecting how she was being perceived by her seniors, peers and team members.

To be frank, Amrita had experienced some very distressful situations at work which had affected her trust in others, and she tended to lean towards micromanaging her team.

She was also dealing with a toxic colleague on a project which seemed to bring out the worst in her during team meetings.

She was becoming negative when it came to her job and the impact was visible.

We worked on this aspect, and she started to experience a significant difference in her interactions with team members and communication skills.

She also learned how to manage her toxic colleague to complete her role in the project.

There are a lot of ways negativity can impact your job.

When you have a negative mindset, it can affect your performance, work relationships, and overall wellbeing.

The trouble with negativity is that it attracts more negativity. Therefore, if you go into work with a negative attitude, it is going to rub off on your colleagues too.

This will lead to a toxic workplace where nobody is happy and stress levels are increased.

As well as impacting the work environment, a negative outlook can also cause issues with performance.

You may not apply for new opportunities as they arise, forcing you to miss out on a potentially better job. Worse, you may be overlooked for juicy assignments and opportunities because while your seniors know you’re good at your work, your infusing negativity in the team will be considered a major handicap.

You will also notice your energy levels aren’t great, and the quality of your work will suffer.

These are just some of the ways negativity can impact your job.

We fixed it for Amrita and if this is sounding familiar, you too can fix it.

Ways to become less negative at work

Now there are ways you can become a more positive person at work. However, it might take quite a lot of effort to overcome your negative thinking.

I’ll be sharing some links to useful guidance in the description as well as a low cost resource to help you shift your mindset to one of positivity and growth.

For now, let’s focus on the workplace.

The best ways to combat negativity at work include:

• Identify the cause
• Think of something you are grateful for or thankful for
• Talk to your boss
• Distance yourself from negative colleagues

Let’s look at it deeper.

Identifying the cause of your negativity is crucial.

There could be numerous reasons why you have a more negative attitude at work. Maybe you keep getting passed over for a promotion, or you are bored of your current role? Identifying the cause enables you to figure out the best ways to combat it.

A dash of thankfulness

Whenever you feel yourself slumping into a negative mood, think of something you are thankful for. After all, it’s difficult to remain negative when you are thinking of something positive.

You may also find it useful to talk to your boss if you haven’t already.

If you are unhappy with something, let them know. Ask them for a promotion, rather than waiting for one. You could also ask them for further training opportunities and more responsibility.

Keep away from negative co-workers!

If you have colleagues who are negative, make sure you distance yourself from them.

It could be that others are putting you in a negative mood, so distancing yourself from them will protect your energy and your positivity.

If they see you with a more positive outlook, it will also help them to develop one too.

As you can see, there are several ways you can address your negativity in the workplace. Identifying the root cause is the key to finding the right solution.

And if you are just naturally negative, working on developing a more positive mindset will help. However, this will take time so don’t expect results overnight.

The best results come from consistent effort so keep at it! And check out the guidance that I’m providing in the description.

This is Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching signing off. Bye for now.

Keeping perspective when things don’t go the way you had expected them to be, are signs of self-awareness and more importantly self-management.

And to demonstrate high Emotional Intelligence, you have to have the ability to not only manage your pleasant emotions and feelings but also, your unpleasant ones.

In this video, we’re going to be looking at regret and on keeping perspective.

Prefer reading? Here’s the Transcript:

So, what is Regret?

In simple layman terms, Regret occurs when a person looks back at a past decision and wishes they had done something differently. If you want a more formal definition, then here’s one for you.

It’s an aversion or aversive emotion focused on the belief that some event from the past could have been changed in order to produce a more desirable outcome.

(Source: Roese NJ, Summerville A. What we regret most… and why. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2005;31(9):1273-1285. doi:10.1177/0146167205274693)

For example, these feelings can come up if you’re on a strict diet and then you go and binge on a bag of potato chips and wish you hadn’t done it. Or you hadn’t passed up a particular job offer in favour of another one and then discovered you were a cultural misfit.

It can get serious though and it can impact your career as well as your life if you’re not careful.

This is a real Quora Question which hinted at regret

In fact, sometime back I had a question on Quora from somebody who asked me if it was okay to phone and shout at your manager after you’ve left an employment and telling them they were stupid.

Now I didn’t answer that question because I thought it was some sort of a hypothetical situation.  I wasn’t going to waste my time on it.

But sometime later the same person asked another question about whether it would affect his career prospects if he called and shouted at his ex-manager.

Now when I saw that, I realized that perhaps he had actually gone and done it and THAT simply sounded like regret!

But on a more serious note, we do experience regret about missed opportunities, or past decisions, or losses.

And what concerns us the most in terms of our regrets, say some researchers, is our failure and our preoccupation with the mistakes we have made or for the things we ought to have done.

Now there are some more facts about Regret that I want to share with you.

In a Psychology Today article, they describe Regret as “an interesting and complex emotional process”.

It involved both thinking and feeling and since it does involve both, it is recognized or conceptualized as a “higher-order cognitive emotion”

In other words, it follows some other emotion’s activation. And that is exactly what might have happened back at Quora.

But unlike fear or anger, regret isn’t considered to be one of our core emotions. In fact, it is a blend of two or more primary emotions that are activated in close proximity, or results when one emotion is triggered in response to another.

The dominant emotions here, for regret are shame and sadness.

Regret is also a type of a counterfactual thinking, which involves imagining the ways your life might have gone differently. But no matter the severity, regret can cause terrible feelings of guilt, sadness, and ultimate depression.

When a person feels extreme feelings of regret, that anxiety can soon turn to anger or resentment. They may end up being so unhappy with their situation that they might take it out on others and creating even more problems for themselves.

Now as far as I’m concerned, although regret is a common emotion, it’s really a waste of time and energy.

And you may be asking me, why is that?

This quote from Katherine Mansfield is worth thinking about because those true sentiments do happen.

But you have to remember that you can’t go back in time and change your past decisions. Nor can you become someone else and avoid your current situation.

And wishing for a new outcome from impossible measures is actually a waste of time because it’s only going to cause you emotional and sometimes physical distress as well.

Now regret can play a negative role in our lives because we may be feeling extremely bad.

We may become extremely hard on ourselves; almost to the point of severe self-pity.

In addition to this, it’s also going to impact how we take our future decisions because you may be apprehensive due to past failings.

Because something didn’t work out in the past, like passing a driving test the first-time round because you didn’t take driving lessons, you may be scared to sit that exam again.

Now that is a simple example but the problem with this kind of mentality is that it actually impairs your ability to trust yourself.

And you continue to wallow in the past and you keep thinking about what could have been and what could not have been and really, you should be focusing on the future.

Also, when you’re basking in regret you are leaving yourself blind to the good in front of you. And actually indulging in more self-harm.

So, another thing that I wanted to tell you is that you have to always remember how much control you had in a situation.

You have to keep the perspective because while hindsight has 20:20 vision, you might not have had that information you have now back then. Perhaps at that point in time that may have been the best decision that was possible for you.

How to Handle Regret and adopt a Healthier Perspective

So keeping all of that in mind, let’s look at how you can handle regret and adopt a healthier perspective.

The first one is Acceptance.

Acceptance is the number one factor that is involved. You have to take into account that trying to change the past is impossible and will only result in frustrations.

Therefore, it is better that you take whatever loss you’ve had on the chin and moved forward.

The next one is to take responsibility for your actions and learn how to make better choices in the future.

Imagine all of the awesome things you could accomplish while you are sitting around wallowing in self-pity and mulling. Perhaps it is better to move on from the past and make better choices in the future. Let it be a learning lesson for you.

Also, make the best of a bad situation because once a decision is made, it is done. Instead of worrying about the past, it’s better to find something positive in the situation and try to do something about it. You could ask yourself the questions like,

• What can I do to make things better?
• How can I adjust my attitude to see the positive?
• What can I currently change?

Now when you ask yourself those kinds of questions, you are actually looking for the best you can do in the situation. This will change your overall negative dispositions into positive ones and motivate you to do better.

The next one is that you can ask yourself is it time to change course?

Because now that you have more information than you did in the past you are in a better position to decisions in the present and you can actually flip the switch on yourself and use it.

Use that situation which is causing regret to serve you better in the future. In other words, keep moving forward instead of staying stuck.

And more change your story or what we call don’t indulge in those fantasies that different choices would’ve yielded a far superior life. That’s why it’s helpful to rewrite this story that you’re telling yourself and focus on all the facts that your mind might have filtered out in order to validate your current story. In other words, build your positive reflex.

One suggestion I can give is that instead of doing the counterfactual looking up and doing fantasies, why not just look at how things could’ve been worse instead of how they could’ve been better.

It’s what we call “downward counterfactual”. In this way you can actually build your positive reflex.

Things could have been much worse. Maybe the choices could have resulted in different outcomes and not necessarily the ones that you’re thinking that would have.

Now all of this, trying to change this kind of negative things requires self-awareness. And self-awareness is the first step that you need to take in order to develop yourself and your emotional intelligence.

Only after that can you take a next step which is self-management.

And managing regret and using it for better purposes is part of that. And for that I have a simple self-study bundle where you’re getting both a guide to self-awareness and a workbook that you can use in order to develop this skill.

Final Words

My final words on the topic are that it is always possible that different choices would likely have brought different regrets.

You should count your blessings and learn your lessons. Identify and give yourself credit for the things you did right because you have done things right. Be honest with yourself!

Being able to overcome these feelings of regret can make you a stronger person. When you’re now embracing positivity as opposed to living in the past, it’s also good for your mental health.

One way to turn your regrets into an opportunity is to view the good that’s ensued. Have you grown as a person? Are you now mentally tougher?

Have you learned a valuable lesson? Because you have the power to not allow it to control you. Nobody else can do it, only you yourself.

By implementing positive thinking and focusing on the future, you will surely combat regret and live a life full of purpose.

This is Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching signing off. Here’s to your success. Bye for now.

The pandemic also resulted in new jargon to describe workforce behaviours and the underlying desire to manage good mental health.

First it was the Great Resignation. Then the Great Regret. We also had the rise of the Gig Economy.

Somewhere in between all of this Quiet Quitting became a buzz word in March 2022 that went viral on social media as the latest career trend.

Coined by Bryan Creely, a corporate recruiter turned career coach, his TikTok video on the subject went viral. The concept caught everyone’s imagination and became the topic of numerous debates and articles.

Honestly speaking, it’s not a new idea and has been around for a long time even if we didn’t call it Quiet Quitting then.

The meaning of Quiet Quitting

First of all, Quiet Quitting doesn’t mean people are secretly or openly quitting their jobs. Or that they aren’t doing their job at the workplace.

What it means is that people have stopped taking on more than their fair share of the workload or going beyond the call of duty.

Gone are the days when an ambitious professional was ready to put life on hold to pursue their dream of rising up the corporate ladder. They put in the 80 plus hours work week and did tasks that weren’t in their employment contract.

Now they’re simply doing what is specified in their job description. They’re not succumbing to wage theft which is what many organizations have come to expect of their employees. It had become normalized in the workplace without considering that over time, it can lead to employee disengagement.

Quiet quitting can also be very personal and what it means depends on who you ask. For some, it’s a way of keeping your perspective, so your job won’t take over the rest of your life.

Others see a darker side. They say it’s a sign of being disengaged at work, and it could have a negative impact on your career and society. Normally we know when it’s time to find another job and move on.

In this case, we stay where we are but change our work habits.

A Gallup poll found that at least half of American workers say they’re doing the minimum to meet their job description.

(Gallup’s findings are based on a random sample of 15,091 full- and part-time U.S. employees aged 18 and over, surveyed in June of 2022.)

Why your employer isn’t happy about Quiet Quitting

When I first heard of quiet quitting I remembered an interesting conversation I had many years ago with the wife of my employer’s legal counsel at a party.

The topic was appreciation for hard work and maintaining work life balance. This lady who was a corporate professional turned homemaker during her husband’s assignment in India pointed out that we were paid a salary and expected to do our job.

Doing more than was expected was the professional’s choice and one shouldn’t expect the employer to tell the person to do less because that would never happen.

So why on earth would any employer want their employee to stop taking on “above-and-beyond” tasks for free?

For sure we’re often willing to put in the hours when the goal of a promotion or career advancement is important to us.

But the problem starts when it becomes a regular practice. Sadly, employers do bank on their employees taking on the extra work for free.

There’s always pressure to reduce costs and headcount. When the workforce realizes the effect it’s having on their personal lives, health and finally stops, it affects the business bottom-line.

Find the middle ground between being a workaholic and just going through the motions for the sake of your health

It’s important to avoid being at the extremes on the spectrum of excessive work and only performing your contractual obligations.

You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells but you need to focus on both having balance in your life while also protecting your career.

Maintaining Balance

You need a personal life for the sake of your mental health. Otherwise, you’re at risk for burnout and becoming overwhelmed if you were to be laid off.

In fact, some studies have found that working too much is one of the biggest life regrets.

5 Strategies to help you maintain balance:

1. Set boundaries. It’s up to you how much you want to integrate your personal and professional activities or keep them separate. Find an arrangement that allows you to lead a happy and meaningful life.
2. Limit your hours. Excessive overtime interferes with your wellbeing, as well as your performance. Create a reasonable schedule. Stick to your quitting time, even when you work from home.
3. Build relationships. Connecting with colleagues makes work more fun and satisfying. Engage in small talk and socialize outside the office.
4. Take vacations. Enjoy your time off from work. Visit exciting places and spend time with family and friends. Give yourself some downtime the rest of the year too. Go out for lunch and schedule breaks between tasks.
5. Practice self-care. Investing in yourself makes you more resilient. Eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. Manage stress constructively on and off the job.

Protecting Your Career

What you do for a living can have a big impact on the quality of your life. Be proactive about making choices that align with your values and help you to reach your goals.

Consider using these techniques to protect your career:

1. Communicate directly. Many experts regard poor management and remote work as two main reasons behind Quiet Quitting. Talk face-to-face as much as possible. Have weekly one-on-one sessions with your boss.
2. Clarify expectations. Understand your boss’ priorities and how your performance will be measured. Ask for feedback and put things in writing.
3. Show concern. Let your colleagues know that you care about their wellbeing. Be friendly and helpful. Listen attentively. Praise them for their talents and accomplishments. Earn their trust by doing your fair share of the work and holding yourself accountable.
4. Connect with the mission. Figure out how your role relates to the overall purpose of your organization. If you disagree with your company’s values, you may be able to make accommodations or you may need to move on.
5. Continue learning. Keep your skills up to date and give yourself challenges that motivate you. Take courses online and read books about your industry. Join committees and volunteer for interesting projects.
6. Stay solvent. There’s already some talk about quiet firing as a passive-aggressive way to pressure difficult employees to leave. Unfortunately, that lowers morale and could leave you without a paycheck. Think about your financial future even if you dislike your job.

Final Words about Quiet Quitting

I personally believe concerns about Quiet Quitting are exaggerated. Perhaps it wasn’t expected when we got a chance to reassess our priorities during the pandemic lockdown.

But the questions it raises are real for us in the workforce and for businesses that need to adjust to the new reality.

Remember, you spend about one-third of your life at work, so make that time as pleasant as possible. More importantly, pursue your purpose through whatever means work for you. Even if it means a job or career change.

Working under pressure isn’t really a bad thing. Many of us perform better when we have to work towards a deadline.

Once the deadline is met, we return to a normal state and get a chance to rest. The real issue is when the pressure doesn’t stop or becomes excessive.

The idea that increasing pressure stimulates people to perform better and better, until an optimum point is reached, dates back to 1908.

Psychologists Robert Yerkes and John Dodson found that, when pressure exceeds this optimum point, it has the opposite effect and performance starts to suffer.

Reference: Yerkes, R. and Dodson, J. (1908). ‘The Relation of Strength of Stimulus to Rapidity of Habit-Formation,’ Journal of Comparative Neurology and Psychology, Volume 18, Issue 5.

This conclusion still holds today.

Case Study: Too much pressure that led an entire department’s resignation

The best example I can offer comes from my own experience in an insurance company where the pressure got to the point where the entire department resigned.

When you’re working in the finance department of a stock exchange listed company, there is always pressure to have the financial statements ready for both the quarterly reporting and the annual reports.

Add to that a situation where the country of business follows one financial year and the parent company follows another. So, there are 2 sets of reporting being done with just 1 month break in between to recover.

That is tough but can be managed.

The scenario changed when a new accounting package was introduced along with an insurance package that caused the systems to collapse.

It was meant to help the insurance and finance departments work better. Instead, there were times when an input by the underwriting or claims department would crash the system and all data was lost.

The worst part was the entire finance department input got lost too. Time was wasted re-entering data and we were under constant pressure.

Doing backups twice a day didn’t help. Nobody wanted to sit late into the evening re-doing their work.

That’s when the junior staff started to leave and new joinees wouldn’t stay for more than a month, even though we were paying high salaries at that level.

The negative impact of pressure started to show up as mild dissatisfaction and then deterioration in the quality of the team’s work.

In the later stages, it showed up as stress, anxiety and incidents of meltdowns.

The management back in the parent company country stood up and took notice when all the Finance Directors across the region resigned. None of us had spoken to each other about it but we had the same situation.

All of us had developed health issues and were exhausted with system crashes. The feeling of not having any control on the situation led to high levels of stress and related issues.

We were all heading for burnout and decided life was more precious than a six-figure salary.

The company lost some great talent and ultimately had to hire teams at extra cost to fix things.

What’s Pressure and What You Can Do About it

Everyone knows what it feels like to be stressed out, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to nail down what it means. We say things like, oh wow, this is stressful! Or, oh gosh, I feel stressed out.

It could be a situation or event that’s putting us under pressure (like when there is a lot to do or when you don’t have much control in a situation).

It might be the emotions you experience as a result of pressure that make you feel unable to cope (it’s so overwhelming it feels as though you’re walking through a thick fog).

Stress and pressure are often mistaken as being the same but this is not true.

As I mentioned earlier, pressure can be a positive and motivating factor that is often essential to get a task or job done quickly and helps you to perform better while achieving your goals.

Pressure is just a normal part of human life. On a good day, it can energize you, push you to act, and seek results.

However, if the pressure continues and becomes excessive, stress or our fight or flight response gets activated.

Overwhelming stress can cause serious issues. It isn’t a mental illness, you can’t receive it as a psychiatric diagnosis, however, that doesn’t mean it isn’t closely related to your mental health.

Stress can result in mental health issues (or make existing issues worse). For example, if you struggle with stress and you can’t cope or manage it, then you can develop anxiety and/or depression.

It’s a vicious cycle with both pressure and stress working together to overwhelm you.

Lookout for Signs of Pressure

Some of these signs will be noticeable by you and some might be brought to your attention by the observations of others. You might even be showing symptoms that need to be remedied.

• Wound up, irritable, impatient, aggressive
• Anxious, afraid, nervous
• Racing thoughts
• Unable to enjoy activities that normally fill you with joy
• A general disinterest in life
• An overwhelming sense of dread
• Loneliness or feeling neglected

What you can do to cope With Pressure

If any of the symptoms look familiar, then there are ways for you to cope with pressure and reduce your stress.

• Identify your triggers for stress and either remove them altogether or learn how best to manage them. Look for issues that continue to crop up, one-off moments, or on-going stress.

• Organize your time more effectively to manage your tasks and pressure more efficiently. Identify when you have the most energy and take care of the most difficult tasks in that block of time, keep a list to ensure you stay on track, break things down into smaller tasks, and ask if you need help.

• Try to address the cause of your pressure, whether it’s mental health, financial, relationships, addiction, abuse, discrimination, general stress, or otherwise.

• If you can’t change it, then you must accept it and move on.

5 Key Reasons You want to stay Calm under Pressure

Whether you call it Pressure, Stress or even the Hot seat, we’ve all been there.

Many times in life depending on our occupation or circumstances we are met with the challenge of staying cool under pressure.  The last thing we want to be is an anxious mess when it matters most to demonstrate composure, gravitas and leadership qualities.

We all want to be calm and collected when it counts.  No one wants to crumble under pressure.  It’s not as hard as you might think to learn to be calm under pressure. The benefits of developing the ability to keep calm are many. The main thing is that the calmer that you are the easier it is to make sound decisions and act effectively.

Some of the benefits of staying calm under pressure are:

Now that we understand the benefits, here are the 5 reasons you want to stay calm under pressure.

You will feel more in control of the moment

Keeping calm under pressure reduces your body’s adrenalin fight or flight style response.  Feeling in control contributes to feeling calm. Being able to handle yourself reduces anxiety, gives you more self-confidence, and gives you a sense of being able to control a pressure-filled situation.

As you get accustomed to thriving in pressure filed situations, your stress response becomes less pronounced. This basically means although you are still aware of a pressure filled situation, your ability to handle it is greater.

You will be able to make better decisions

Staying calm makes it easier to make good decisions. Tunnel vision is often a consequence of panic and fear.  Calmness helps you see the big picture. Try taking a deep breath and focusing on the task at hand.  The quality of the choices that you make will improve by keeping calm.

Mental Clarity

Mental clarity can be paired with decision making.  Being able to think clearly, objectively, and analytically are key to handling yourself in a situation where calmness is critical. Consider this an advantage you have over the situation.  Strive to stay calm and keep your head in the game in stressful situations.

Creativity

When you are calm you are able to come up with creative solutions for problems more effectively.  When you are anxious, or uptight creativity does not come as easily.  Strive to channel creativity through calm collected thinking.

Objectivity while problem-solving

Similar to creativity it is easier to objectively solve problems if you are not stressed out or anxious from pressure.  Seeing the big picture is a part of problem-solving that definitely works best when calm.

Learning how to problem solve in the heat of battle is a skill that will set you apart.  This is a great tool for your career, academia, or personal life.

These are just some of the reasons to develop skills that allow you to stay calm under pressure.  Learning to use these skills can keep you sane, help you level up in life, and benefit you all other areas of life.

The more you practice staying calm in stressful situations the better you will be able to handle high-pressure situations.

Don’t strive for perfection or set unrealistic expectations.  If you are not naturally calm under pressure know that it will take practice.  Once you start to focus on being calm under pressure and building these skills it gets easier.  Practice brings calmness.

In part 2 of this series on Pressure, we’ll look at 6 ways to stay calm under pressure and explore effective methods to deal with pressures in life.

Resource: Overcome Trying Situations by Changing your Mind Worksheet 

Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript.

The subject of this video is Political Depression. I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching and today I want to talk to you more about it and why you need to monitor this stress trigger.

Now, ‘Political Depression’ is a term which is increasingly being used to define the phenomena of the uncharted and intense feelings of helplessness, grief and anxiety in people which occurs due to distressing social and political events around them.

And to be honest, I didn’t know there was a term called Political Depression until late 2019 and early 2020 when there was a lot of social political unrest and turmoil, especially in New Delhi.

I started watching the news like a hawk because the route to the vet’s clinic for my pet Miss Coco crossed an area which was near to one of the universities where there was violence.

I didn’t have a chance to consider the actual issue or form my own view because I had a pet with a tumor to take care of which was already stressful.

And then the COVID-19 pandemic hit us and now I had all the time in the world to watch the news and scroll through social media seeing even more bad news.

These platforms constantly reported on politically sensitive matters, which then triggered an emotional response amongst those who consume content. Many of us discovered how divided we were in opinion.

I finally stopped engaging on social media because it was creating more stress than required. My mental health during times of uncertainty too became a top priority.

I’ve written more about this sudden lock-down and how to cope and maintain good mental health in this post.

In hindsight, it was timely action because the first half of 2021 saw the arrival of the second wave of COVID in India.

There was more devastation to deal with as the news became more personal with losing friends and people who made up our social circle.

Politics affects our Mental Health

Now politics does affect our mental health as you can see in this quote. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that modern politics tend to be divisive. TV commentators and family members argue about impeachment, health care, and climate change.

However, you may not realize how much impact this stress can have on your personal health and relationships.

In this particular study, which is done by the University of Nebraska, Lincoln, they discovered that almost 40% of adults agreed that politics is causing them stress.

And accordingly, between 10% and 30% said that politics had damaged their friendships, made their home lives more unpleasant, and caused them to lose sleep or feel depressed.

This was also highlighted in another study by the American Psychological Association.

That study showed that the stress of following daily political news could negatively affect people’s mental health and well-being. One way to cope was to disengage but that had ramifications too.

To quote the study, “Protecting oneself from the stress of politics might help promote well-being but it also comes at a cost to staying engaged and active in democracy.”

Overall, the results suggested that politics has a significant daily effect on many Americans’ health and well-being. And even though the study population was American, I believe that the results hold for everyone.

And especially the implications, particularly for activists who wish to get people involved in advocating for political causes without harming their mental health, according to the researchers.

This trade-off between individual wellness and collective wellness can impact democracy as we know it.

While engaged citizens may be necessary for a democracy, it’s important to keep the affairs of state from interfering with your personal well-being.

So, with that in mind, I want to talk to you about some stress reducing suggestions for you to consider while consuming or discussing politics.

Some stress reducing suggestions to consider for consuming and discussing politics

Following the News with Less Stress

Now the first one is to take time off from actually listening to the news whether you’re in a car and the car’s radio is on while you’re driving you’re exposed to news even when you’re not searching for it. So, put a time limit on your own consumption and carry your headphones with you if you need a distraction, especially if you’re in a taxi.

Secondly set a curfew which means soothing bedtime rituals that will enhance your sleep. Turn off your computer and TV so you can read a novel or work on your hobby. In other words, don’t let your brain work too much.

Monitor the dinner talk. Food tastes so much more delicious when it’s accompanied by pleasant conversation. Discuss daily activities, happy memories, and vacation plans. Happy stuff.

Change the channel. Some news sources are grouchier than others. Pick a site with a calmer presentation. Watch programs that focus on facts rather than political positions or and scandals.

And the last one is to know your risks. Now you may be more vulnerable to political stress if you’re younger, or unemployed, and more politically active.

Research is still underway about what happens to voters when their party is out of office. You’ve seen how people behave when their football club’s lose matches. It’s something similar even with politics.

Discussing Politics with Less Stress

Also, when you do have to discuss politics try to make it less stressful.

One way is to be very civil. Listen to other points of view and respect someone’s opinions even when they differ from your own. Stick to the facts instead of taking issues personally.

Also, assume positive intentions. It’s so easy to stereotype someone on the opposite end of the political spectrum. Give them the benefit of the doubt and look for common ground. You may actually have similar goals even if you support different policies.

Clarify your purpose. Ask yourself why you’re having a particular conversation. If someone has strong beliefs, you’re unlikely to change their mind with anything you have to say.

And lastly, back off. You can decide to avoid debates that you find unproductive or disturbing. Tactfully change the subject or just walk away.

Here are some other Stress Reduction Tips

The first one which is important is to practice self-care. You’ll have more resilience to deal with any form of tension if you adopt habits that keep you strong and healthy. Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get at least 7 hours of sleep each night.

Then, build support. And that is nurturing relationships. That’s another effective tool for maintaining your peace of mind. Spend time with family and friends. Ask for help when you need it.

What about acting locally? You may feel more optimistic and empowered if you try to help your community. Campaign for local candidates or run for office yourself. Volunteer on your own or with your family for a cause you believe in.

And then, consider counseling. If political stress is interfering with your well-being and relationships, you may want to talk with a therapist. They can help you to gain insights into your situation and suggest coping strategies to provide relief.

To help you with controlling how you think, I’ve got a little gift for you

It’s my worksheet on controlling how you think, and your thoughts and you can download it for free at the link below this video. It will help you to cope with trying situations by changing your mind.

Final Words

So, my final words on this subject are, staying up to date with current events may help you to understand and influence public policy, as long as you keep your civic life in balance. I’d also suggest that you be selective and courteous about consuming news and discussing politics.

While it’s good to be socially aware it’s also good to be self-aware of what political discussions can do to trigger stress in you. And that’s from me; I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching signing off. Bye for now.

Have you ever worked for a boss who is so difficult that it was like a nightmare working with him (or her) and you got to the point where you were worried that you might just lose your job?

Now here’s something.

The odds are that you will always at least have one bad boss in the course of your career. The conditions of the bad boss may vary and that can be a very difficult and challenging to face such a situation.

But there are things you can do to make your life at work more positive. Or to at least try to buy yourself some time until you can find a better job.

Prefer Reading? Here’s the transcript

The first thing that I would always tell you is to keep an open mind and to maintain your composure.

That’s a sign of Emotional Intelligence as well as Executive Presence and you come across with more power even if you’re feeling helpless in a situation. Because staying calm might just be the most important thing that you can do.

If you’ve already got a boss who is a nightmare to work for but is also volatile as well, then please read this blog post for more help. The links will be given and just stay calm.

Most of us have a tendency to try to just avoid the conflict or ignore it but the reason I am saying to keep calm is because somebody has to hold a stable position. Secondly, this beautiful quote from Renee Evensen is very true.

Because ignoring conflict will only aggravate the problem often to the point where even a minor problem becomes unmanageable.

So, when you come from a place of calm and composure, you’re in a better position to be more proactive and to resolve or diffuse the situation.

Keep Your Cool

So, back again, keep your cool. And the reason why I’m saying that again and again is because it’s an excellent opportunity to show others that you’re reasonable and professional.

And maybe your boss’s boss may also be one of those to notice. Because our first instinct is to respond like to like but that is a very big mistake. You want to show yourself in a good light.

As well as the fact that it will also reduce your boss’s tendency to bully you in case the boss is a bully. Because bullies tend to stop if they see their tactics aren’t getting a response.

If you have a toxic boss, then I have other resources that can help you to handle that. But no matter what, keep your cool, do not get aggravated or agitated.

Consider Your Own Contribution

Next, is to also consider your own contribution. You know, it is so easy to blame others for things. But when you look at a situation when the boss may have been nasty, are you sure that you’re not at fault or at least part at fault?

Perhaps it’s just that you do need to make an effort to up your game and not upset the boss so much. After all, bosses are human too.

Get Some Clarity

And then, get some clarity. Find out exactly what your boss wants. In fact, ask the boss and if you can get a list of specific performance measures, preferably in writing, so that you can protect yourself.

That is your annual performance review kdps come into play because those are actually solid markers. If you do hit those performance numbers, it gives your boss less flexibility to make a business case to fire you.

Especially in those organizations where they use bell curves and anybody at a 2 or 1 is out.

2 Things You Need to Do for Your Own Mental Health and Confidence

Now the 2 things you need to do for your own mental health and confidence is keep a sense of humor. Try to laugh about it to yourself. Do not let it upset you too much and also don’t obsess on it much.

Secondly, keep a track of your successes. Now this is something that I keep bringing up in various posts of mine.

And that is always keep your own record of your successes because if you’ve done something which is worthwhile for the company, just write it down.

And keep a record so that if you do lose your job, it’s going to give you a lot of leverage when it comes to negotiating an exit package or a potential settlement.

In other words, keep your own records.

3 Ways to Support Yourself

Now there are 3 ways that you can support yourself in such a situation.

One is to touch base with human resource

Talk to them. Of course, be very aware that sometimes there are political games going on but nevertheless tell human resources what is going on. Put your case in front of them and maybe they can solve things for you. Especially if it’s a big organization where you can be transferred to another department.

Also, consider talking to your boss’s boss

But here be very careful. Do not complain about that boss to your, to his boss but instead, focus on the behavior not the person. Don’t make it personal.

Network both within and outside the company

And thirdly, this is something you should always be doing whether you have a nightmare boss, or you have a wonderful boss and that is to network, both within and outside the company.

It’s very important for you to maintain your network of people because in case you do need to get out of that job, you’ll be sure to find out about any potential job opportunities.

And staying sociable is actually very good for your mental health. It also gives you back some sense of control on your situation if you do have, if you’re finding it difficult to deal with that boss.

Consider Finding Another Job

And then lastly, consider finding another job. Now I’m sure you didn’t expect me to say this to you but sometimes, you know, leaving is the best idea. So, consider your circumstances. Can you do it? Is it possible?

Especially so if your boss is firmly entrenched and if he’s not going anywhere soon, then maybe it’s in your best interest to find an alternate employment. And that is where, you know, networking is going to come into play.

Final Words of Wisdom

So, to sum it all up, final words of wisdom are, dealing with a bad boss is something that we all have to do at some point.

And there is no set formula for getting through the challenge successfully, since circumstances can vary. Which is why some of the tips that I’ve given you are quite broad-based, and you will have to adjust it to your situation.

Also take a careful look at what’s actually going on and decide on a course of action. And hold on tight until you can find another job. Do the best that you can to create an environment that supports the life that you desire.

Because you’re working for yourself and for your family and it’s your well-being and mental and emotional health is most important.

Karmic Ally Coaching’s Emotional Intelligence Checklist

Now I had earlier mentioned to you about keeping calm, composure and how it is a sign of good emotional intelligence as well as executive presence.

And to help you with further develop that I’ve got a free resource which is the 10 Traits (that) Emotionally Intelligent people use for Success.  You can download it for free.

The ebook is accompanied by a series of emails to further help you to further develop your emotional intelligence. This will also help you in dealing with not just a bad boss but with your co-workers and anyone else.

So, and it’s free. Did I mention it’s free? And with that, it’s a wrap. I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching wishing you a very successful career. Bye for now.

In the first part of this blog post series, we explored energy management.  I shared 3 methods to manage your energy for better mental, physical and emotional health.

We touched on working with our natural rhythms.

In this second part, we’ll explore how to manage that energy and combine it with time management using our natural rhythms. This will enable us to be truly productive without experiencing burnout.

Energy Management vs. Time Management

What’s more important when it comes to productivity – energy management or time management?

I’d say both are important and work in tandem.

You’ve likely heard the old adage, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you’re trying to manage your time effectively without paying attention to your energy management, you may end up with sprints rather than finishing the marathon of life.

Experts are now saying that productivity and success have more to do with how you manage your energy than it does with time management.

Eating healthy, staying fit, spending time with our children and connecting with others all take time and we do have to schedule some of our pursuits.

Whether we have the energy for those pursuits is a problem that’s often overlooked.

Trying to adhere to certain times to manage everything can leave us all exhausted. So much that we’re not even able to relax and enjoy ourselves when we’ve “scheduled the time” for it.

Having a schedule is important to manage our time but without the right level of energy to complete the tasks or activities, you’re not going to achieve much. You won’t be productive.

That’s a lesson I learned as a 10^th grade student when preparing for the board examinations was overwhelming not only me but all my classmates.

Fortunately, our class teacher knew we needed support, and we had an entire session on planning our daily schedule in prepping for the board exams.

He made it fun by telling us to block time using different colours . The real magic was our having to also put in blocks for rest and play and then doing 30 minutes of a subject that we found challenging.

I continued to use this technique all the way into preparing for my later examinations including those for my Chartered Accountancy qualification.

It would be years before I’d figure out that he was guiding us to use our energy and time effectively.

The key lesson here is that while you need to manage the finite resource of time, it’s equally important to manage your energy effectively.

This means taking time for recovering from those lengthy sprints you take so you can finish the marathon with ease rather than anguish.

Use these 4 tips for managing your energy effectively:

• List how you like to rejuvenate yourself. Make a list of what makes you feel refreshed, more creative and lifts your mood. Writing them down will help to remind you about the benefits of these uplifting activities. For example, watching a great series or show you’re following on television, sipping a cup of tea and listening to music can be very rejuvenating to your energy levels.
• Double the time you usually take for breaks. Don’t stick to a timetable when it comes to reviving your energy level. Take an hour rather than half an hour and have fun with whatever you’re doing.
• Reward yourself for every goal reached. Do you have lots of projects and it seems you’ll never finish them to be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Break those projects down into parts and reward yourself after you complete each one – rather than waiting until the entire project is finished.
• Make frequent recovery stops. While you’re on that mile-long sprint, you may feel the need to stop and renew your spirits and your energy. Do it! You’ll feel so much more like completing the marathon and you’ll be happier at the finish line.

Managing your energy is a much more effective way to get through life rather than putting time limits and making schedules for everything.

How does your Energy flow?

Your inner energy thermostat doesn’t pay any attention to the timetable you’ve created. Instead, you need to make your energy the most important factor in the long marathon you’re up against.

That starts with knowing your own energy flow. When you understand how your personal energy patterns ebb and flow, you can use that knowledge to support your time management strategy.

Some questions to consider:

• Are you a night person, who works late but starts slow in the mornings?
• Maybe you are an early bird who can get up before dawn, exercise, arrive early at work and have your in-box cleared before your boss arrives?
• Or are you a mid-day person who starts slow, picks up speed then tapers off in the late afternoon?

These patterns relate to your natural energy flow also called biorhythms.

You can observe yourself and note which hours are your prime working hours, the times when you can be highly productive with the least effort or tiredness.

Just make a simple chart of the day either on graph paper or on a spreadsheet-based graph.

List your waking hours on the bottom and a high, medium, low rating along the side.

Knowing your prime working hours (early bird, midday, evening) is extremely helpful in how you schedule the complicated tasks in your workday.

Your mind will be more alert, and you will have the energy to focus on complicated work.

During your off-peak energy times, gather related materials or do some aspect of the project that is less detailed and does not require a high level of creative energy or decision-making.

After using this approach for a few weeks, you’ll see what happened on those days when your time management plan seemed to derail even though you were motivated to do the work.

You simply scheduled the wrong task for your lower energy times and so your output was less than anticipated!

5 Tips on How to Manage Your Energy Levels

The varying degrees of your energy level can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Sometimes you have to have the energy to complete a task or activity and other times you seem to have the most energy when you’re trying to relax.

If you can learn how to manage your energy levels effectively, you can move ahead rather than lag behind.

Here are some tips about how to manage your energy levels so that you’re ready for anything – any time.

1. Determine the times you’re most energetic. As mentioned earlier, some people are more energetic in the mornings and others are night owls. You should be able to determine from past experience which time of day you get more done. Those are the times you should schedule the most harrowing or mind bending of tasks.
2. Identify what drains you of your energy. Be honest about this assessment. When you know which obstacles and situations keep you from being the best you can be, you can do what it takes to minimize them or eradicate them from your life.
3. When you do have energy is it negative or positive? If you have lots of energy, but your output is all about negativity, you are likely in a constant reactive mode rather than a positive, active mode. Negative, but energetic people never seem to have enough time to get things done.
4. Use your energy to make headway, not merely survive. We all have increasing demands on our time. The way that we meet it determines whether we go through life just barely getting by or having the energy to advance. Quit rushing through in survival mode simply to get things done. Choose performance over immediate solutions.
5. Be consistent in the way you handle situations. When you experience energy highs and lows, you may find yourself reacting to situations according to your energy level. If you’re energetic, you can be positive, but if you’re lethargic you could react in a totally negative manner. Try to be consistent in your reactions and it will help your energy levels to be consistent.

Thomas Leonard, a highly successful financial planner and business entrepreneur says that time is an illusion – “There’s no such thing as time management. There’s only activity management in the time we’re given.” How much activity you get done in that allotted time is directly responsible for how energetic you are.

Tip: Make your activities into priorities according to your energy level.

Performing low-energy tasks at times when you’re least energetic and high-energy tasks at times when your energy level is highest can help you meet all the demands and expectations and still have time to relax and enjoy life.

How to Effectively Manage Your Energy and Increase Productivity

It’s not just experts; more people are realizing the importance of managing their energy level rather than time to increase productivity.

There are many things and tasks that can zap your energy levels and make you much less productive than you could be.

It’s possible that you may also experience low energy levels during certain times of the day. If so, you should either take a break during those times or schedule non-important tasks.

If you’re finding that certain people, tasks or times of the day are taking a toll on your energy, it’s time to assess what those problems are and do something about them.

It’s about managing your energy effectively rather than your time.

Energy levels are different from person to person. If you’re a morning person who is at the top of their game at the first crack of dawn, you should schedule the more difficult, mind-boggling tasks at that time.

Others, who are night owls, should plan their schedules the opposite.

Some other ways to effectively manage your energy to get more done include:

• Delegate – Some people have difficulty with delegating tasks to others. But if you delegate tasks that aren’t in your zone of genius or which can be done by others and allow you to focus on more critical tasks, do it. You’ll be saving the energy you would have spent on something that can clearly be completed by someone else.
• Track your tasks – There are some great online tools (such as Google Tasks) that can help you track where your time and energy is being spent. You can break the larger tasks into smaller increments; do the most difficult ones when your energy level is high and mundane tasks when your energy level is lowest.
• Get rid of distractions – Distractions can be huge energy-drainers. If you’re on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and other social media sites, you may find yourself wondering where the time has gone after you’ve spent an hour on one of these sites. Disconnect to save your energy and get more done. Stop alerts and hide the sites until you have some relaxing time to devote to them.
• Refresher breaks – Some of us can spend hours at our work desks without looking up or moving around. At the end of one of these sessions, you’ll notice that your energy is drained and you don’t have much left for anyone or anything else. The remedy is to take refresher breaks – get up and stretch and move around for a few minutes. Your productivity will likely increase.

In other words, getting in sync with your natural energy rhythms can help in so many areas of your life. Work, personal life and health are just a few of the ways that managing your energy can make you a happier and more productive person.

Professionals aspiring to be leaders really need to learn to manage and pace their energy. Time is important but without stamina, enthusiasm and drive to do your work, it’s simply not going to amount to much.

Rubina’s time management story sounded so familiar. The 80 plus hour weeks, logging onto the laptop on a Sunday evening hoping to organize things because Monday would be manic is one that many a dedicated professional has done.

Until one fine morning they realize they’re experiencing burnout or showing the symptoms that they are heading in that direction.

It can worsen – like experiencing palpitations, cold sweat, getting irritated with co-workers and being on a short fuse.

If you want to be perceived as having Gravitas, then your ability to maintain composure is important. Transforming into the angry Hulk will definitely raise your visibility in the workplace but not Executive Presence.

I patiently listened to Rubina and then asked her about her energy management.

As expected, her answer was a zero, perpetually exhausted and not getting enough sleep or rest.

I’ve done it too and so have my team members. In trying to perfectly manage my time, I ended up doing too much during a workday and taking work home.

We all worked overtime chasing unrealistic deadlines to please an important audit client. Then boom, my team and I all collapsed.

We got the job done but it came at a very high cost – our health.

If only we had managed our energy instead!

In this 2-part blog topic, we’re going to explore both Energy Management and Time Management and see how to be productive without experiencing burnout.

In the first part, we’ll explore energy management and 3 methods to manage your energy for better mental, physical and emotional health.

Forget About Time Management – Manage Your Energy!

Time management is a popular subject in the corporate world as well as for sole proprietors and gig professionals.

But have you noticed that the more we try to manage our time to get everything done that’s expected of us, the less we enjoy our lives?

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve done Time Management workshops for professionals and have a full course on the same for optimal utilization of this precious resource.

Coaching clients also spend time improving their time management which is an important leadership skill.

But there’s another factor to consider.

It’s easy to manage your time for success and forget that we have to re-energize our minds and bodies, or we’ll become disconnected and dissatisfied with our lives.

Businesses are realizing that while time management is great to set productivity goals, energy management must be addressed too. Otherwise, the business will experience high turnover rates, distraction and medical conditions among their employees.

This isn’t a recent development that has come to light thanks to the pandemic. It’s been known for some time now.

Back in 2007, the Harvard Business Review shared their view that effective energy management offered far more benefits than time management training as a leadership skill.

“The core problem with working longer hours is that time is a finite resource. Energy is a different story. [And] energy can be systematically expanded and regularly renewed by establishing specific rituals – behaviors that are intentionally practiced and precisely scheduled, with the goal of making them unconscious and automatic as quickly as possible.”

Impact of running on low Energy Levels

While time goes on forever, energy doesn’t. It has to be replenished or it runs out and you lose your capacity to work at your top capacity. Distraction sets in when energies run low and costly mistakes are made.

Putting in longer hours sometimes to meet a deadline is one thing. However, when it becomes a routine, it will inevitably take a toll on you physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Depending on your constitution and support system, you might be able to delay your breaking point but not for long.

For the organization, it means declining levels of engagement, increasing levels of distraction, high turnover rates, and soaring medical costs among employees.

Giving up those habits and behavior patterns that zap your energy can reenergize you and shift the focus from time management to energy management.

For example, leaving work earlier and setting an earlier bedtime may be just the trick that helps you reestablish your energy and be much more productive during your working hours.

Role of our energy and vibrations in how we present ourselves

Rubina’s job involved making presentations for various stakeholders in her organization. She noticed she had started rushing through the presentations and her voice often went high pitched. Her audience too seemed to be disinterested.

That’s because our energy is visible to our audience through the tone of our voice, body language and our enthusiasm. How on earth are you going to be enthusiastic if you’re running on empty?

It’s a fact, your energy levels impact your vibrations and the non-language messages we send out.

When we’re feeling low, our thoughts tend to be of a low quality as well. Instead of thinking positively about a task, we try to find evidence to support any negative thought we’re having.

This in turn perpetuates our feeling low and sending out low vibrations which are picked up by others and they respond in kind. The cycle gains momentum and burnout is guaranteed.

Let’s now look at 3 different methods to manage our energy and increase it when required.

Let Passion increase your Energy Levels

Have you ever noticed that being passionate about something fills you with an energy that seems to be non-stop?

I have. I loved my work in the finance world and especially when we had special assignments. Like the industrial secondment to a prestigious London stockbroker’s firm to help settle accounts with clients before the 1986 Big Bang.

To put in context, the phrase Big Bang is used in reference to the sudden deregulation of financial markets.

It was coined to describe measures, including abolition of fixed commission charges and of the distinction between stockjobbers and stockbrokers on the London Stock Exchange and change from open outcry to screen-based electronic trading, effected by UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in 1986.

The kind of crazy hours our team put in will make you gasp but we loved our work.

The energy just came out of nowhere. We knew we were part of history, and it was fun. I also earned enough overtime to cash in as leave for studies.

In those days, trainee Chartered Accountants didn’t get paid overtime, we got precious time off for studies.

Entrepreneur and powerful businesswoman, Oprah Winfrey, once said, “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”

Oprah created a billion-dollar-plus business from her passion. We can’t all do that, but we can use passion to increase our energy levels to the point that we’re doing what excites us and that makes us healthier in the process.

The more passionate you are about what you do the more positive energy you exude. Passion inspires us and makes your life more abundant.

Whether you’re passionate about your personal life, your work or anything else, passion is what will fuel your inner fire to happiness and sometimes, greatness.

No one who is successful today has gotten to where he or she is without an outpouring of passion for what they’re doing. Being creative is one of your most basic needs. If you’re creative and feel passion for what you’re doing, you’re going to experience prosperity and health.

Perhaps you don’t really know what you’re passionate about?

Here are a few ways to determine what your passion is.

If you try it and find you aren’t as passionate as you thought you were, go back to square one and try again. It’s important for you to find your passion.

• What excites you? If you have a hobby or job that excites you, you’re well on your way to finding your passion. Spend some time thinking about the answers to this question.
• What are you good at? You may have been told that you have real talent as a writer but have ignored it until now. Spend some time thinking about what you’re really good at. Think about how you could turn that into a passion that could take you far.
• Do you enjoy reading about certain subjects? You might be passionate about reading about history and various cultures. Spend some time thinking and researching what you could do with those subjects.

Passionate energy invites success for that passion into your life. It’s within all of us and we just have to dig a little bit to make it come out.

Don’t waste the rest of your life in a job or a pursuit that just isn’t meant for you and that you feel no passion for.

Oprah Winfrey also said about passion, “If you don’t know what your passion is, realize that one reason for your existence on earth is to find it.”

Once you do, happiness and success will follow.

Increase your Energy by managing your Solar Plexus Chakra

I recommend balancing our chakras for good health as well as stress management.

For the purposes of managing energy, let us focus on our third chakra, the Solar Plexus Chakra, also known as the power or naval chakra.

This chakra is related to fire, ego, identity, transforming knowledge, solar/cosmic force, will, self-definition, autonomy, metabolism, and masculine principle. It brings us energy, effectiveness, spontaneity, and non-dominating power.

When this chakra is overactive, you become prone to overwork and exhaustion. A sign this is happening is the desire to control everything and anxiety if you can’t.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it is most likely due to your over-extending ourselves.

Rather than energy moving through your chakra system, it is being siphoned off to other projects, people, and situations. Too much of yourself is being given away to external matters.

In such a situation you have to assert energetic boundaries, so you do not become depleted. You need to bring your energy back to you and resist the urge to control everything imagining catastrophic consequences if you don’t.

This requires balancing your solar plexus chakra. Try this simple exercise.

Begin by taking a seated position and rocking back and forth a few times. Intentionally shake off any excess energy lingering in your auric field.

Close your eyes. Drop into your solar plexus chakra just above your navel and notice how it feels.

Breathe into this yellow ball of energy for a minute. Then imagine all the energy slowly being drawn inward. Feel this chakra become the same size as your other chakras and come back into alignment.

When you feel it becomes balanced, breathe three more times.

Open your eyes and continue to remember to keep your energy inward.

There may be times when you have too much energy that’s making you hyper. If that is the case, use the exercises in this post to store the energy for when you really need it.

Increase Your Energy by Working with Your Natural Rhythms

The entire world seems obsessed with productivity.

In fact, working harder and spending more hours and work may actually reduce your productivity.

It’s much better to find out what your natural rhythms are and work with those.

Working with your natural rhythms to increase your productivity makes sense because it gives you breaks so that you don’t burn out. It also helps prevent energy blockages that arise during the course of the day.

Here are some ways that business management is finding works to increase the energy levels and productivity of the workplace:

• Break up the work session into blocks of time. For example, you’ll work hard to focus on the task at hand if you know there’s going to be a mandatory break at the end of the session.
• Take naps. This may sound contrary to everything you know about the workplace. But experts are finding that short naps (30 minutes or so) during your low-energy times can actually spike your energy level and make you more productive for the rest of the day.
• Learn how to be in sync to your natural rhythm. Working with your natural rhythms mean that you’re concentrating when your energy is high and resting when the energy level is low.

Realize that pushing yourself to continue working during low energy times can cause low performance and dissatisfaction with yourself and your work.

Unless you take steps to rejuvenate yourself during the day, you’ll be holding yourself back from all you can accomplish.

Your inability to manage your anger and temper tantrums is not a sign of high Emotional Intelligence.

And yet some leaders feel it is a good way to control and ‘guide’ their teams. I beg to differ.

In my blog post on Composure and Executive Presence, I mentioned the client who had serious anger management issues and what became of his career. His behaviour went unchecked until he assaulted the Head of IT in his company and was fired, despite being a ‘valuable asset’.

Sometimes people use it as a strategy to achieve a goal like the way the late actor Siddharth Singh did to win the 2019 edition of the Bigg Boss reality show.

Singh used to react angrily and aggressively with the other housemates.

At the time my Mom and I decided this guy had serious anger issues. One could see the veins in his neck stand out when he got into his shouting match.

Healthy versus Unhealthy Anger

I’m not saying you should never get angry. To be honest, we all get angry and lash out.

Experts say it’s even healthy to vent your anger from time to time. It can also shield us from other people trying to hurt us or someone else.

The problems start when you let your anger get out of hand.

Rampant anger makes you feel like you’re losing control, almost like you’re not yourself. It’s not the best feeling in the world. It often takes its toll on your health, your relationships, as well as your career. It can even get you in trouble with the law.

If you think you’re suffering from a hidden anger problem, then know that recognition is an important part of solving any problem.

Being aware of your anger issues means you’ve taken the first step towards positive change. This self-awareness is also a marker of Emotional Intelligence.

You need to learn how to recognize your anger. You should also know what sets it off. Start by asking yourself these questions:

• What situations/events/places/people make me angry?
• Can I tell when I’m angry?
• How do I react when I’m angry?
• Does my anger affect those around me?

Healthy Anger

Healthy anger is an instinctive signal that lights up when we sense that something isn’t right. If you see someone being hurt or treated unfairly, your anger acts as a catalyst.

So, you immediately start thinking of ways to help.

Dr. Robert M. Fraum, Ph.D. says, “Healthy anger is deliberate, proportional, and responsive to a clear and present need. [it’s] a powerful tool of human survival and adaptation.”

An Emotionally Intelligent person will understand their anger and for the times that they find it challenging, they know how to regain their composure and use anger productively and effectively.

Unhealthy Anger

On the other hand, unhealthy anger hurts everyone around, instead of helping. Remember, if you experience one or more of these behaviors from time to time, it doesn’t mean you have an anger problem.

The problem intensifies according to the frequency of these behaviors and their consequences.

The following are a few ways unhealthy anger can manifest itself in several ways, such as:

• Rage
• Resentment
• Manipulation
• Judgment
• Passive aggression
• Verbal or physical abuse

So do you have a healthy anger or is it unhealthy? Not sure? The next section is relevant to you to identify if you have anger management issues.

5 Common Signs you have an Anger Problem

1.    You frequently get into arguments

We’re not talking about casual arguments you have with your partner or co-worker. We’re talking frequent, overblown rows with everyone you encounter, even strangers.

Not only that, but you feel that you have to win every single argument. Not being able to back down from an argument has nothing to do with what you’re arguing about. It has everything to do with being more domineering and in control.

If these arguments seem to come out of nowhere and quickly spin out of control, that’s a sign your anger has turned into a problem.

2.    You’re Passive Aggressive

People often don’t relate passive aggressiveness with anger because it’s neither loud nor violent.

Yet, it’s one of the most telling signs of anger management issues. The problem is that you might not even realize you’re being passive-aggressive.

Not only that, but you may not even realize you’re angry!

One reason is that when you’re passive-aggressive, your emotions give the impression that you’re in control. For example, you avoid conflict; you’re often sarcastic, or indifferent.

3.    You Blame Others

It’s easier to blame other people for your problems than dealing with them yourself. Remember the saying ‘a bad workman argues with his tools’? That’s exactly what happens here, even if you do it unknowingly.

Another sign of an anger problem is that you hold on to resentment. You stay bitter and can’t seem to forgive even over the small stuff.

4.    People fear your Reactions

If you usually react when you’re angry, people may start avoiding you because they are fearful of you and your over-the-top reactions when you’re mad.

You may notice that when people talk to you, they never come too close. They may also stand with their arms crossed over their chest or they have one foot turned to face the door. This is their way of expressing their fear and anxiety when they’re around you.

5.    You Worry about your Reactions

This is both good and bad news. The bad news is that once you’ve reached this stage, it’s more than likely that you have an anger problem.

The good news is you’re starting to acknowledge that you have a problem and you’re worried about your behavior.

This is the first step to working through your anger issues and gaining control over your emotions.

If you self-identify with one, or more, of these five signs, it means you have an anger problem.

The next step is to do something about it.

Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence

To reiterate, the problem isn’t that you get angry; the problem is in the way you express your anger. While anger is a normal and natural emotion, it can be overwhelming if not dealt with correctly.

There are certain steps you have to go through to be able to cope with your anger in a healthy and productive way.

We’ve rounded up some of these tried-and-true techniques you can try to cope with your anger. You’ve probably heard of some of them, but don’t knock any of them until you’ve tried each one several times.

Remember, the more you practice, the better you’ll get at controlling your anger. So, the next time you’re in a situation that gets your blood boiling, try these tips.

Think happy thoughts, and let’s get started.

Breathe Deeply

Breathing deeply helps you take the time to think about the situation. It gives you time to calm down rather than lashing out immediately.

Taking a few deep breaths also boosts blood flow to your brain. The more oxygen going to your brain, the more rational your thoughts and behavior will be.

Want to take it a step further? Count slowly.

You can count up to 10 as you breathe in and out. Or you can count backwards from 100.

Take the time to think about what number comes next. This effort will shift your focus and distract you from what’s making you angry.

You can also use breathing to manage stress.

When you disconnect yourself from the event that’s making you flustered, you’re less likely to act out.

Taking some time to moderate your anger is a healthy and smart way to manage your anger.

Acknowledge your Emotions

Start by accepting your anger. Tell yourself that it’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to let it out on others in a destructive way.

Self-awareness means that you are true to yourself. If you feel there are any negative issues from your past holding you back, find a way to deal with them.

There are several things you can do to move past painful memories, like

• Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal
• Find local support groups
• Counselling or therapy
• Practice yoga and meditation

Look Inward

Reflecting inward can help you see things from a different vantage point. Seeing things from a different viewpoint gives you clarity. As a result, you can deal with the situation in a calm, relaxed manner.

Also, take a moment to ask yourself if the person who angered you actually meant to harm you. Or was it done unintentionally?

Applying the technique of perceptual positions is a terrific coping mechanism. You’ll be able to reach an amicable understanding while being respectful of yourself and others.

Identify your Triggers

We all have certain people or places that make us angry. Just thinking about them makes your temper soar.

To avoid seething with anger each time you’re with someone or in a certain situation, learn your triggers. Start by figuring out what makes you angry.

Once you’ve identified your triggers, you’ll be better equipped at handling them. For example, let’s say you always take a certain route to work, but it’s always congested and that makes you angry.

Why not look for a different route and spare yourself the aggravation of wasting time in traffic?

Engage in Creative Activities

Creative activities like drawing, painting, or playing a musical instrument benefit your mental health. In fact, the more time you spend on creative pastimes, the less angry and stressed you’ll feel.

Other hobbies include physical activities like hiking, kickboxing, and cycling. Even taking a 10-minute in the park can uplift your mental wellbeing.

These activities can help release pent-up negative energy in a healthy and safe way. Not only that, but exercise stimulates your brain to release more feel-good hormones. So, you don’t just get better at controlling your anger, you also feel happier and more.

Final Words on managing Anger with Emotional Intelligence

The most important thing is to know when you can resolve your issue yourself and when it’s time to seek help and support.

Remember, anger is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. But it could result in seriously damaging your life or hurting you or someone you love or even adversely impact your career.

The sooner you get the help you need, the sooner you’ll be able to live a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Every struggle you experience only makes you stronger, resilient and forms part of your inevitable success story.

I’m able to say this with conviction because whenever I’ve experienced a situation where I’ve had to struggle, I’ve emerged stronger, more empowered and in a position to guide others who are on that path.

In my post ‘Want that promotion? Better raise your Executive Presence’, I shared about how I raised my Executive Presence and Gravitas but there is another part of the story that I hadn’t shared.

The story of feeling confused, hurt, upset and even angry that I had been denied a promotion and pay increase because of that lady Manager. The fact that I had 6 months to prove myself worthy of that promotion hurt.

My colleagues knew it was unfair but only one of them, Diana, had the courage to speak up and tell me what I needed to hear.

She acknowledged the unfairness of the situation and told me that in later years I would be grateful that this setback had happened early in my career when I could learn the lessons and use them later unlike others who might have a smooth sail early in their career and then get hit by a similar situation.

Diana told me to take it in my stride and show everyone what I was really all about.

Bless her heart because I took on the secondment to the Insolvency Department with the right attitude. Even though I struggled in the start, by the time I left, I knew I was a stronger professional and achieved a lot more in my career at a young age.

She was right of course. When the recession started shortly after we all qualified as Chartered Accountants, quite a few of my colleagues and friends in the profession were given the pink slip as they walked into the office one morning and escorted out.

They went through the same emotional upheaval I had earlier. I gave them the same advice Diana had given me because it worked. Mindset is crucial to handle both failure and success.

Now ask yourself, if you always got what you wanted without needing to struggle or do hard work, what kind of person would you be?

Imagine what type of a person you would be if everything came to you without a single setback, with no failure or pain?

The honest answer?

You’d be a weak person lacking resilience. When faced with a trial or tough situation, you would be completely unable to handle it appropriately.

Without overcoming the negative opinions everyone else offers, without overcoming those failures, and dealing with obstacles, you would crumble like a house of cards.

When we talk about success, we’re not talking about the result but rather the process to success.

Buying the latest smartphone isn’t indicative of your success. Purchasing a rooftop apartment in a tony location isn’t success. Even being awarded Employee of the Month or Year isn’t success. What it means is that you are succeeding.

Success is a mental transformation. It is the process of leaving behind your mentally fragile self to embrace your mental strength.

As you struggle, the obstacles and failures you walk through will harden your mind, preparing you to achieve your rewards.

I’m reminded of the story of the man who wanted to be kind to a butterfly that was starting to hatch from its cocoon.

He watched the butterfly for hours as it struggled to force itself through a tiny hole. Then, it suddenly stopped making progress and looked like it was stuck.

Wanting to help the butterfly out, he took a pair of scissors and cut off the remaining bit of cocoon and the butterfly emerged easily although it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man thought nothing of it, and he sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly.

However, that never happened. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with small wings and a swollen body.

What this well-meaning man hadn’t realized was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small hole were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was free.

The struggle was required in the process to achieve success.

While this is a moral story, one keeps reading about the stories of lottery winners who are unable to mentally cope with the large sums of money they win overnight and end up wasting it.

They waste it all. Often, coming out on the other side with less than they had before they experienced the big win. This is fairly common for any person who comes into a large sum of money. How can you know how to handle that much money? It’s a process, not the result.

If you don’t go through struggle, then you have never gone through something that will strengthen you, leaving you weak. Without struggle, you can’t grow. Without resistance, how will you develop strength?

It’s impossible to get what you really want if you aren’t challenging yourself. If you aren’t willing to deal with the pain of growth, then it means you’ve chosen mediocrity. You aren’t really hungry enough to strive for your dreams and wants.

So how desperately do you want to achieve your dream career or life?

If you’re so desperate to achieve it, then you will accept the struggle, you will embrace the pain. Those are the sacrifices necessary to get you where you want to go. Everything comes with a price, and the price of success is struggle.

When you accept pain and struggle as part of the process, then struggle will be your ally as you become a stronger person and your soul evolves. It’s difficult to appreciate the great things in your life when you don’t experience struggle and disappointment.

Struggle forms part of your story because struggle is what has made you who you are today. Think about it. If you could go back and change mistakes and failures, would you?

Your initial response might be yes. Think about it a little deeper, all of your mistakes have led you to this point. If you didn’t make them, who knows where you would be.

No matter how difficult life can be, you’re in a pretty great spot, aren’t you? You are if you take a look around you and choose gratitude.

People love the underdog, the person who had to work through struggle and overcome challenges. They’re not interested in hearing the stories of people born into privilege and get everything without working for it.

Embrace struggle, it is part of your story.

5 Reasons struggles happen but can easily be overcome

While we accept that struggles are inevitable in life it’s equally true that overcoming them isn’t easy. But you can. The more important point is that we often make certain mistakes that keep us in struggles.

Are you making these mistakes?

1. Uncertain Goals

If you don’t set clear goals for yourself to work towards, you’ll find yourself floundering. You will always do better in life and cope better with struggles when you have clear goals to pursue.

Goals can help guide your social life, career, finances, and even family life. When you have a goal to work toward it’s easier to view struggle as the challenge that it is.

2. Demanding Immediate Gratification

Instant streaming, reservations, same-day delivery… we live in a world of immediate gratification. Yet, the world around us doesn’t always move quite as quickly (or efficiently).

If you’re expecting things to come to you easily, then you’re going to face disappointment and frustration.

You need patience when you are attempting to overcome the obstacles you face. Hard work is time-consuming, it’s a build-up, a slow burn. You will always be disappointed if you expect everything to work in your favor and quickly. You will not get immediate results, and that’s okay.

3. Inability to Prioritize

If you are constantly overwhelmed, then you’re probably going to stay in a state of struggle. You might have a list of things you want to do but if you don’t know how to prioritize these things, then you’re not going to achieve the success you crave.

Prioritization isn’t just a time management skill, you need it to identify and work on those things that move the needle for you. If you are unable to prioritize, you are going to stay stuck in your struggles.

4. You Give Up Easily

Do you give up at the first sight of trouble or as soon as things turn against you? You won’t be successful if you can’t overcome struggles. Yet, that’s what we do.

The majority of life’s problems will require multiple attempts before you find a successful solution. If you quit at the first sign of trouble, then you’re not moving yourself forward.

5. Blaming Others Instead of Accepting Responsibility

It’s easy to blame others for your struggles. But isn’t that an easy way to deflect responsibility? It might make you feel good in the moment but you still have to deal with the struggle.

It’s vital for you to learn to take responsibility for your actions and behaviour. It’s up to you to find solutions to your problems, it isn’t on others.

You may have had a difficult childhood, you could have hit a bad run of luck. However, if you hold onto those negative feelings it will keep you in your struggles.

Own your mistakes, they’re a badge of honour, they are going to mould you into the person you become.

When you feel you need support to overcome these struggles, it’s perfectly fine to ask for help. It isn’t a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is a sign of self-love and courage to admit you need support to get through a difficult time.

We all face struggles at some point or the other in life but it doesn’t mean that we need to stay stuck in those struggles.

All you need to do is make a choice and then take active steps to push yourself beyond your struggles and still find success.

5 helpful Tips to move through Struggle to Success

Sometimes the struggles we experience are outside of the realm of our control.

For example, losing your job during the pandemic or falling ill and requiring more time off than is statutorily allowed from work.  Yet, they are powerful and can easily drag us down.

Bearing that in mind, here are 5 tips that will help you make your way through struggle as unscathed as possible. These are things that you can incorporate into your daily life.

1. Make a Gratitude List

Gratitude is a powerful feeling and not just for law of attraction purposes. Researchers have documented the link between well-being and gratitude.

These researchers have found that habitually focusing on the positives in life can boost self-esteem, reduce the symptoms of depression, and improve overall life satisfaction.

The simplest way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a list. Get yourself in the habit of writing down a few things you’re grateful for daily. It only takes a minute, but that minute of effort can heavily influence your well-being, anxiety, and stress. You don’t have to struggle.

2. Spend Time Meditating

You likely already know how meditation can help relieve stress. It’s important to recognize that regular meditation can provide you with improvements in your overall well-being.

Struggle often impacts us in different ways, generally in levels of stress and anxiety. There are different types of meditation so, you will be able to find one that suits you and your schedule.

3. Regular Exercise

Do not underestimate the power of exercise, it can heavily influence you both psychologically and physically. The surge of endorphins that shoots through your body after you exercise helps you deal with stress and leaves you feeling energized.

Often, the most difficult aspect of struggle is how it influences your overall health and wellness. When you go through struggles it impacts your stress levels, anxiety, and can also trigger depressive symptoms.

This just complicates the feeling of struggle. It’s something you can combat by pushing yourself to exercise regularly.

4. Learn to Laugh

Laughter doesn’t just improve your mood, it also relieves stress. According to a study from Loma Linda University in California, after watching 20 minutes of comedy videos, older adults had a reduction in cortisol.

Now you have an excuse to watch your favorite sitcom!

5. Embrace Struggle

Whenever I faced a daunting struggle, my father used to tell me I had 2 options – brave it or brazen it. The point is, sometimes you just have to ride it out.

While the strategies we discussed above are all about fighting stress, overcoming struggle, and protecting your well-being, it’s also important to consider the alternative. You can’t always get rid of stress.

You can’t always dismiss struggles. At some point, you will just have to cope with it as best you can and ride it out.

What you can do, however, is stop imagining the worst-case scenario. Or if your Inner Critic doesn’t cut you slack, just ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? This one tactic will remove the sting of fearing failure and put things back in perspective.

Take a giant step back and look at the positives in your life. They will far outweigh the struggles if you look hard enough.

Final Words of Guidance

There isn’t a magic bullet for issues like stress and struggle. They are natural parts of life that we just have to deal with as they come. We do have the power within ourselves to overcome difficult times. We simply need to take the time to stop and ask ourselves what we are doing.

Are you allowing the struggle to overpower you? Or, are you going to take proactive steps to overcome struggle?

The choice is yours, and the strategies above can help you make the right decision.