It is a more common situation than one would imagine, Vanita. The best way is to stay grounded and remember that your true worth doesn’t come from the promotion and then take steps to redress the situation and take well-planned decisions that are for the highest good of all concerned. If it means moving on or seeking a transfer within the organization, then things usually fall into place. I don’t think women are more vulnerable to office politics. It happens to men too. Its the way we approach it, our willingness to express ourselves and on the strength of the opponent.

It’s amazing how many readers have had experiences similar to yours, Suzie, and then gone on to do different things with passion and purpose. Your story reminds me of what happened to my late grandmother who was bypassed for promotion to school principal because she wasn’t a ‘local’ even though she had lived in that town since the age of 18 when she married my late grandfather. My grandma was a strong lady and she quit. She was later hired by a major steel company there and taught technical Hindi to engineers and continued with her career. Her hours were far better and I do remember that when we used to visit during holidays, she was there with us full-time, which wouldn’t have been possible in her other job.

I’m grateful too for you and that you found your true calling!

I’m so sorry you had a lousy manager just a few short years from retirement, Roslyn. We are able to tolerate a lot and adjust a lot when the conflict is work related but when it comes down to petty matters or demeaning us, then the only way to resolve it is either complain higher up or leave with our dignity and find a new job where we are valued for what we contribute to the company.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Beverley. Those of us who are happy and not trained to be political animals often miss out on the signs until the water is above our head and we need to take action or risk drowning. That’s the intention of this post for the 21st century careerist.

Parents have a tough time when their children go through troubled times that aren’t of their own making. My father had already retired by then after a solid 36 year career as a diplomat and while he understood the politics of favoritism, the idea that things could get dirty enough to fire his daughter horrified him. Like your son, the experience has made me more empathetic and I try to help others because we know the pain.

So true about the self respect, Vatsala. My son’s experience, like yours, has given him the empathy and understanding to help others. Still, as his mum I wish he didn’t have to go through it.