Whenever people use the word ‘struggle’ to describe their situation, I tell them to rephrase it and think of it as challenges.

This word makes me think of a fish out of water. Now that’s real struggle, survival for life.

In contrast a challenge is something where you still have power to do something about it. Instead of procrastinating, you can take action. Any action will do as long as you are making a move to overcome the challenge.

The best example I can think of is Viktor E. Frankl, whose book Man’s Search for Meaning is among the most influential works of psychiatric literature since Freud.

This must read book begins with a lengthy, austere, and deeply moving personal essay about Frankl’s imprisonment in Auschwitz and other concentration camps for 5 years, and his struggle during this time to find reasons to live.

Frankl believed that man’s deepest desire is to search for meaning and purpose.

If he could find meaning and survive the challenge of staying alive, then why can’t we?

Are you living life or thinking in ‘someday I will’ terms?

If I were to count a dollar for each time I’ve heard people wanting to do big things or make a difference I’d have a very big bank balance!

Sadly they balk at the thought of taking that decisive or inspired action and stay in struggle mode.

That’s a sign putting off living. Instead of accepting their Call to Adventure, they stay safe in their comfort zones and watch the world pass by their windows.

It’s okay to dream about how green the grass is on the other side, but what about exploring to determine whether that’s the case?

Or attempting to fertilize their grass or make it greener?

Are you struggling right now?

Without the tough fieldwork, there can be no harvest. Then why think of it in terms of struggle?

A few years back I was at the wedding of a friend’s daughter. I ran into one of her friends who had become a model after winning a beauty pageant. She said she wasn’t doing as well as she had thought she would.

My friend told me the girl had to struggle to be successful. I beg to differ. Work hard? Yes.

Go after opportunities to get a foothold in a highly competitive industry? Yes.

But it doesn’t mean you have to struggle so much!

View the world with the right lens and embrace any struggle as part of the process to success. We can find fulfilment in life’s difficult challenges.

Many incredible people have struggled and managed to overcome it to succeed and find happiness. They’ve accepted struggle as being part of the process to the final goal of success.

Believe it or not, you’ve got everything necessary to do so in your toolkit. It’s time that you discovered them for yourself to struggle less and succeed more.

5 Ways to stop struggling for Success

1. Know when it’s time to Let Go

The first step is to stop holding onto what you need to let go of or what no longer serves you.

Whether that is a job, a person, a thing, a painful memory or even the person you view yourself as.

If something is simply fueling pain and robbing you of fulfilment, why are you holding on?

In order for better things to enter your life, you need to make space for it. Honor and value yourself enough to know when to walk away.

2. Don’t measure success by material possessions

We all want certain material items. Some may be aspirational and others that fulfil our Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. However, that’s not the measure of a life well-lived.

The true measure of a life well-lived is that it is filled with love, compassion, and kindness. It’s finding fulfillment.

You will be on the receiving end of what you want because you fill your life with positivity. All of those little things add up to bigger things. Make a habit of finding the positive in your day.

3. Be Who You Are

When you wake up in the morning, you have the choice to be the person you want to be. If you’re struggling to become who you’d like to be, it’s probably because you’ve been sucked into the habit of being someone else.

Take the bull by the horns and start acting like the person you want to be. You can learn more about yourself when you surround yourself with positive people who lift you up.

4. Don’t Make It Harder Than Necessary

We are all guilty of making life too complicated. Success is hard to achieve because it requires you to overcome struggle and sometimes challenges. That’s a fact.

However, sometimes we make life far too difficult for ourselves. It makes life seem like an endless struggle when it doesn’t have to be.

Start with the small things – follow through when you give your word, eat well, be on time, act with integrity. It doesn’t have to be difficult, don’t make it harder than necessary.

5. Struggle Less – Your Life’s Blueprint

Once you know what success truly means to you, it’s up to you to make choices daily that will lead you in the correct direction.

Humans are creatures of habit, the actions you take and the choices you make form your blueprint for life.

Focus on what matters to you, and success is inevitable. If you make a mistake, don’t sweat it – every day offers you a new opportunity.

These tips will help you develop the right mindset but you may still experience anxiety until you’ve transformed you way of viewing life and taking the right actions.

Changes don’t happen overnight and habits need to be developed with positive reinforcement.

Coping With the Anxiety That Struggle Brings

The biggest fallout of struggle is that it brings anxiety with it. The extent of anxiety depends on how fertile your imagination is or the strength of your Inner Critic.

In such a scenario, it’s easy to withdraw when you feel like this. You shun social interactions and you question the world at large.

It’s easy to slip into a rut. You may feel inadequate, as though your actions and behaviors have caused this trouble.

In truth, you aren’t necessarily responsible for the struggles that life throws at you.

However, you are responsible for how to deal with the struggles that life throws at you. In addition to learning how to overcome struggle, you must also learn to cope with the anxiety that follows.

Diffuse anxiety and fear with journaling or just write it out

Writing might seem like a cliché, but it’s powerful. It’s a powerful way to process your thoughts and feelings and to get everything out in a journal. It really does make you feel better.

Writing can also help you gain perspective about the situation that you’re in. It isn’t easy to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Yet, when you write it out you have a chance to read back and really think about things.

With writing comes clarity and often, anxiety and struggle cloud focus and clarity. It can be difficult to see the situation from other perspectives when you’re trying to look at it through a haze.

Talk about it

Purge fearful thoughts and feelings by talking them out with someone you trust. There is power in talking about the struggle and anxiety that you are experiencing.

As you talk about your struggles, you process the underlying emotions that come along with them and feel cleansed by the time you‘re done – like you have purged all of the negativity from your system.

Choose a professional, a support group or a close friend.

A therapist is a professional specializing in anxiety disorders and can offer an unbiased ear.

A support group will offer you a group of people who are experiencing similar issues. You might be surprised by how powerful it can be to discuss struggle and anxiety with people walking through the same storm.

Likewise, chatting with a friend about what’s going on in your like can relieve a bit of the anxiety you may be dealing with. Struggle is frustrating. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by life, seeking out your social network can be beneficial.

Choose your conversation partner carefully. Avoid confiding in people that are overly negative, closed-minded, or judgmental.

Instead, select someone with a lot of life experience, is generally successful and well-balanced in their own life, and would be supportive and encouraging in their approach to your problem.

These are the people who might be able to provide solid objective insights that you may have missed because you were too emotionally involved in the situation.

Practice Meditation

It’s the answer to (almost) everything. Meditation comes with so many benefits, that it should come as no surprise that it can help you deal with anxiety. There is a multitude of ways that meditation can relieve anxiety, and according to the Eco-Institute, there are at least 11.

Humans think between 60 and 80,000 thoughts daily… imagine how those thoughts fuel anxiety when you’re dealing with struggle?

Your thoughts take a turn to the negative when you’re dealing with anxiety and exacerbate the issue. Meditation helps you focus your mind and purge those negative thoughts, whilst also quieting your mind.

Learn to Cope With Struggle

It’s causing you anxiety, but what can you do with the root cause of the problem? Address your struggles!

Struggle is a natural aspect of life, it’s going to happen whether you take proactive steps to prevent it or not. You can’t just stop it. You will be a stronger, more successful person when you learn how to cope with struggle by overcoming it.

Re-frame how you view struggle – it’s simply a challenge for you to overcome. It’s not the obstacle that will serve as your downfall, it’s merely a hurdle for you to hop after some intense training. Changing your mindset on struggle will help you cope with the anxiety that is sure to come with it.

You can achieve what you want, and you can succeed more while struggling less. ‘

Struggle will never go away, it’s a natural part of life. It’s important you don’t lose hope as you walk the path of life. There is enough happiness to go around. If you believe in yourself, then you can do whatever you want.

If you’re reading this, then one thing is for certain. It isn’t out of curiosity but a deeper reason. You want the answer to what’s most probably your 2 am in the morning question.  ‘Why is my career not going the way I want it to, maybe it’s me?’

That’s a question a number of high achievers have when they hit a roadblock in their career.

These are the A-plus students who got great grades and were supposed to achieve a lot in life. The success path continued at college, and you got an awesome job that gave you financial freedom.

You’re probably doing pretty well in your career right now but for some reason, you’re unable to reach your peak and achieve that much desired position despite all the hard work you put in.

To the outside world it looks like you’ve arrived, and, in a way, you have but not at your desired destination.

Inside you know you deserve more and can do better but your career trajectory feels like it’s stalled a little or even plateaued.

If the issue bothers you too much, you might go looking for answers on Quora, try connecting with someone who you feel might have the answer on LinkedIn and after connecting ask to pick their brain (and then get cold shouldered if the brain picking is something that professionals pay them good money for).

You might do a Google search on the topic which could lead you to a page with details of booking a Discovery or Strategy Call with a Coach and you book the session expecting a silver bullet to solve your painful problem.

The point of these sessions is not to play Agony Aunt or provide free advice or coaching but to assess the person’s problem, see if they are a good fit for the coach’s services and if you are ready to do what it takes to change your situation.

I’ve got an easier first step you might want to consider and then go looking deeper for a solution that gets your career back on track.

Somewhere you might be the problem and your mindset, habits and actions are sabotaging your career.

The good news is, you’re also the solution.

Maybe sabotage is a harsh word to use so let me rephrase it.

Take a good and honest look at yourself. See if you’re being held back by one or more of these five factors that commonly stop people from reaching their career peak.

These are also signs that you’re sabotaging your career and need to take proactive action.

Fear of failure

I elaborate more on this limiting belief in my post Take the sting out of Fear of Failure it’s only a Belief  sharing the story of Willis Carrier. It’s how he turned failure into success with a shift of mindset.

Fear of failure stops you from taking risks and seizing opportunities. What we often forget is that we have free will and can choose how we deal with failure.

You can allow it to engulf you and never take a chance or you can use it as a steppingstone to success.

That means reframing what failure means to you personally. It doesn’t have to be an all-out disaster. Simply the shift to thinking that you haven’t found what works yet. It can be paralyzing, but only if you let it.

My favorite example is of Thomas Alva Edison, who famously failed to invent the working light bulb more than a thousand times before he hit on the right formula.

The converse of failure is persistence. And persistence will out-perform innate talent every time.

Lacking Focus, Endurance and Easily Distracted

In any activity or endeavor, it is important to build endurance. Endurance can be defined as the ability to focus on the task at hand and bring it successfully to conclusion.

Some call it fortitude, others call it strength or stamina.

No matter what you call it though, endurance is the ability to persevere and get the job done, no matter what.

Usually, when we speak of endurance, we’re referring to physical activity. Yet, endurance is as important in the business world as it is anywhere else.

In business circles, endurance usually takes the form of focus. Instead of physical prowess, it becomes the ability to concentrate successfully on a given task.

Focus is a critical skill set for any professional. Especially in today’s fast-paced world where success often means keeping several equally important balls in the air at one time.

So, how do you focus on multitasking, a situation where, by its very definition, several things are happening at once?

The key to successful focus is attention.

When several things are happening simultaneously, you need to concentrate on only one thing at a time. This doesn’t mean you bring one task to full completion before you start on another.

Rather, you spend just enough time on a given task to take it to the next stage of development and then you turn your attention to another task. In some sense, it’s a little like being a mother duck with ducklings.

You give your attention to the duckling that is farthest out of line, nudging it forward to where it should be, before you turn your attention to the next little duck.

Each duckling gets a measure of your focus, but none gets your full attention all the time. In this way, each task gets moved along in turn, and all are successfully completed in time.

Staying focused on big picture goals is the key to achieving success. It’s easy to be distracted by side issues and the demands of your email or phone. Staying productive requires attention and focus.

Make it easier to produce high-quality, consistent work by keeping focused on the current priorities and sticking to your plan.

If need be, take steps to power up your focus muscles.

Self-doubt

Sometimes we get a bad boss who undermines our efforts or a project that you worked hard on fails and your confidence takes a hit. Depending upon the situation and the fall out, your otherwise confident self now starts to second guess decisions and actions.

This internal feeling shows up in the quality of your work and impacts your career progress when your boss begins to think you’ve reached your optimal level of competency (remember the Peter Principle?) whereas that is not the case.

Self-doubt can undermine all your efforts if you let it.

The way I see it, you are responsible for writing your own success story so why indulge in self-sabotage?

Instead, when the self-doubt gremlin surfaces, remember your past achievements. Look back, see all the steppingstones that brought you to where you are now. You have the skills, and you have the know-how to get where you want to go.

Procrastination

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed at work sometimes. A solid time management plan can help to focus on the tasks that really need to get done within a time frame.

But sometimes, there are actions we need to take which feel uncomfortable or difficult. We start to delay them until we’re in full procrastination mode.

You may not want to talk to a difficult client or have that performance feedback session with your subordinate even though you know how important it is.

You don’t want to experience the discomfort and that’s normal, you’re human but the longer you put off uncomfortable tasks or discussions, the worse it is going to get. Leaders can feel discomfort too, but they do what is required of them.

It comes down to a failure to take the right action at the right time.

There are times when procrastination is good and I outline them in this post, but for the better part of the time, this creates an impression that you’re not responsible or diligent and that can impact your career.

Instead, why not commit to the action in your diary, plan for it and do it?

I recently read a great article by Justin Bariso where he shared the 5 Minute Rule used by emotionally intelligent people to overcome procrastination. It works provided you take action.

Procrastination is a habit and it can be replaced with a better habit – the habit of considered action.

There are many studies that look into the psychology of procrastination. It isn’t just a time management issue although procrastination gets bunched into it.

If you need some quick help, then my mini-course How to Stop Procrastinating Right Now is a good starting point.

Complacency

Who would have thought being complacent can adversely affect your career path?

This behavior kicks in when you know you’re good at your job and have potential. Instead of working to demonstrate you’re ready for the next level, you decide to rest on your laurels expecting to be given the next promotion or a leadership role.

Here’s a truth bomb for you. Different positions up the corporate ladder require different skill sets. If you’re not demonstrating you have them or the keenness to acquire them, then that will pull the brakes on your career progression.

If you’re lucky to have a good boss who takes an interest in your career while also ensuring the work gets done, then you might be guided to undertake specific training to develop new skills.

When that isn’t the case, then you need to figure out what new skills are required to match your ambition.

One key skill you need to acquire is Executive Presence. Your higher ups need to ‘see’ you’re ready for the next level. Competition gets tougher as you climb up the corporate ladder and you need to stand up above the others for all the right reasons.

If you really want to reach the top of your field, then you need to balance your actual work with working on yourself. In this TedTalk, Anthony Cheam shares what it REALLY takes to become the best version of yourself.

So stop being complacent and expecting things to happen but make them happen!

The bottom line is, you’re responsible for your career success and it starts by being proactive and professional development.

Don’t wait for your employer to do it for you – do it yourself!

You’ve definitely heard about viewing life as a half full or half empty glass but how deeply have you thought about it?

It’s not only about being an optimist or pessimist; it also reflects the difference between an abundance or scarcity mindset and how we live our lives.

It’s our mindset that makes the biggest difference when a coveted assignment that we’ve worked hard to land goes to another colleague.

Do we start bitching about that colleague and think the person must have used other tactics or feel happy for them and then aim for another juicier assignment that is guaranteed to demonstrate our worth and take us up the next rung of the corporate ladder?

Take another scenario that often plays out in the corporate world.  A new hire is made at a senior level that throws others at the same level into a tizzy.

Everything is done to make the new person’s settling into their job as difficult as possible or even complaining about the new person’s work habits and other things instead of focusing on their own work and demonstrating they deserve to take the next step up the corporate ladder.

It’s called dirty politics and those who play this game are certified practitioners of the Scarcity Mindset.

Let’s be honest. Living a life of abundance is not a simple task by any means.

It’s not a case of simply staking our claim to an abundant life and then chanting and doing affirmations (although it does help in a different way) and expecting the Universe to shower us with benefice.

It takes grit, challenging activities, and personal growth. People who are able to achieve abundance within their lives find themselves reaping the benefits of a relaxing and rewarding lifestyle.

Then what’s really stopping us?

3 Ways People Struggle in Attracting True Abundance

I can think of a number of reasons that depend on the situation but the biggest one by far is our belief system that often restricts us and prevents us from taking the very actions that can liberate us.

Facing these limitations is the first step to overcoming them.

Having Low Self-Worth

Does that internal voice encourage you to do what is best for you or does it constantly seek to break you down? Something might have happened in the past and while you might not recall the exact event, it has affected you adversely and you now second guess your own abilities and experience low self-worth.

The sub-conscious defense mechanism that earlier protected you is now creating a problem because it is now stopping you from taking chances and risks and questions your ability to handle your life.

It can come up when your boss gives you a task that is outside your comfort zone or new to you like doing a new client presentation and you start wondering if you can really do it.

If you think of it clearly, your boss wouldn’t give it to you if he or she didn’t think you could do it. Then why are you second guessing your ability?

You’re emotional well-being is dependent on others

In other words, you’re unable to take responsibility for your own feelings or separate your own feelings of happiness or unhappiness from those of a significant other, parent, sibling, or even a friend.

If your emotional well-being is dependent on another human being, then you may never achieve true happiness. The truth is that we are capable of being empathetic without sacrificing our own happiness because of another person’s discord.

The same can be said for yourself. Take responsibility for your emotional well-being so that you do not drag others down with you.

People who are intertwined with others struggle to have their own identity. This goes hand in hand with low self-esteem and you are not likely to improve one without improving the other.

You’re overly anxious about Change and Challenge

If you struggle to embrace change or challenge, then you’re not likely to adopt an abundant lifestyle. Adopting the abundant lifestyle involves a great deal of personal growth. Through personal growth, a lot of change will come about in your life.

The same can be said about the challenges you may face in achieving abundance. If you let your anxieties keep you from trying new things, applying for a great job, or experiencing something new, then you are holding yourself back from achieving abundance.

People who resist change are adept at talking themselves out of seeking new opportunities. They shy away from opportunities where they may find a challenge or a struggle in favor of seeking less challenging situations.

However, this is a serious issue in personal growth as refusing to see the value in a challenging situation can hold you back in a major way.

On the other hand, people who embrace these new situations are faced with abundant situations frequently. They are able to fill themselves with accomplishments which in turn builds up their willingness to embrace another challenge in the future.

How to use positive Thoughts to attract Abundance into your life

Our thoughts essentially create our reality. The best way to attract abundance into your life is to alter your mindset to commit to specific goals and opening up your mind to endless possibilities.

There are many ways to shift your mind to be more positive and willing. Changing our thoughts will change your perspective on your potential and success.

Here are some specific examples of thoughts to add plenty of abundance into your daily life. Try one to start with and build more positive abundant thoughts as you go along.

“I am grateful for…”

This one is a personal favourite. Start the day by writing down 3 things you are grateful for each day to complete the sentence. Find that difficult? How about starting with 1 and then working your way up?

This will jumpstart positivity for the rest of the day and allow your mind to shift into a constant feeling of gratitude by recognizing the small things that make you happy.

Then end the day with at least 1 thing you are grateful for to come full circle.

Gratitude is one of the best ways to attract abundance into your life and naturally improve your mental health.

By focusing on positive thoughts that will lift you and allow you to prosper, you will save yourself the effort that goes into negative thinking. You will feel more confident and joyful which is why gratitude impacts your success.

“I can…”

This one can be tricky if you’re used to copping out the minute you feel uncomfortable or hesitant and are eager to avoid certain situations that can allow you to go further and prosper.

Public speaking, cold calling or even following up with interviewers and clients are examples of seemingly daunting tasks that we try to escape.

Replacing negative thoughts that make you feel like you aren’t enough with thoughts that assure you of your capabilities makes you attract the abundance that you may be holding back from.

This allows you to increase your confidence and step out of your comfort zone, which are crucial aspects to achieving abundance.

“I learn from my mistakes”

One of the best ways to realize your full potential and achieve abundance is to never stop because of failure. In fact, sometimes failure can be good for you.

According to a Forbes article Why Failure is Essential to Success by William Arruda, failure is a crucial ingredient for success and nearly every successful person has gone through some sort of failure. The article argues that failing is the way to get to success, which is why it is important to make mistakes and even have ‘routine failing’.

Rather than stopping and giving up as soon as you are approached with some type of mistake, learning from them and improving based on them is the best way to achieve abundance.

You will no longer feel stuck in your comfort zone and realize that your possibilities are endless.

“I possess the qualities I need to succeed”

This one is a mantra to be chanted every time you feel fear in doing what you know needs to be done.

By convincing yourself of your capabilities, you will no longer doubt yourself or hesitate in important situations. Many times, our minds are what stops us from reaching our success and aspirations, so we must train our minds to be filled with confidence.

When you are confident in your qualities and abilities, you will feel more inclined to step out of your comfort zone and take risks that will lead you to abundance in all aspects of your life. You will feel self-assured in any situation, regardless of the people you are around, allowing you to accomplish your goals and be more productive.

Attracting true abundance becomes easier when we change our thoughts and thus our mindset.

By repeating these thoughts every day and replacing negative thoughts with killer thoughts like these, you will be empowered to take on daunting tasks.

The tasks that used to seem fearful and impossible will be a lot easier than you think and you will be assured that you have the capabilities you need. The more confidence you possess, the more abundance you will attract throughout every aspect of your life.

Let go of your fear and scarcity mindset and embrace one of abundance that will give you the courage to step out and stake your claim to true success.

Additional Resource to groom your Abundance Mindset

Developing your Abundance Mindset requires support, guidance and a road map.

You can access this through Karmic Ally Coaching’s The Abundance Mindset Bundle that has everything you need to shift your mindset and experience true success. Click here or on the below image to learn more.

Most professionals know LinkedIn is a networking platform for employers and working professionals, allowing companies to present themselves through online pages and for users to find job listings and enhance their network in their area of expertise.

Businesses use it as a platform for businesses to connect with potential leads, prospects and acquire clients.

LinkedIn is also a popular social recruiting tool provided it is used properly.

I’ve already covered topics on optimizing one’s profile and the unique etiquette to be applied when creating connections for job search assistance and growing one’s network.

One thing professionals don’t realize is just because they send out an invite to someone, doesn’t oblige the receiver to accept that connection (you can check 9 good reasons for that rejection here).

Even if they do accept the connection invite, it doesn’t mean much unless one builds a relationship and they can remove the connection or even block the other person if certain boundaries are trespassed.

In my post on making your one-on-one networking effective, I’d pointed out that LinkedIn is not a numbers game but requires making meaningful contacts.

Otherwise maxing out the number of connections you have without really knowing those connections well doesn’t serve much purpose.

There is another way to expand your network and actually get to know others on LinkedIn too. It’s by talking to them or rather communicating online through LinkedIn Groups.

Groups are a key component to the success of your future networking efforts on LinkedIn.

Groups are where you can get to know other professionals in your industry or field and engage with them. They might be able to provide the leads for a new job or even business provided you are active in that Group.

I’ve made some wonderful professional connections and then discovered we had a lot in common even outside of the Group and profession and strong friendships have been forged that make it impossible to believe I’m half way across the world from these professionals.

One thing to remember – no matter what your membership level is with LinkedIn (free or premium) – you’re limited to joining only 50 groups. So use some care in joining.

If you find later that some groups are not proving to be as productive as you want, you can leave a group so that you may join another.

But before you go and start applying to join groups that are relevant to your profession or industry, make sure you have a complete profile.

A completed profile is very important because many group owners/moderators actually review your profile to make sure you are an ‘appropriate’ new member for the group.

It happened to me when I wanted to join the global Alumni Group of the partner firm where I had done my training. In the years that followed, that firm had merged with another firm. I had to provide evidence that I had worked for them and was a Bonafide alumni.

New people with incomplete details very often will have a difficult time getting accepted into the more active and beneficial groups, but since you have taken the time to set up a good, solid professional profile – you should have no problem getting into the majority of the groups that you apply for.

How to find and engage in the right Groups for your job search or business leads

You can join up to 50 groups. Unless you spend all your waking hours engaging in conversations and discussions in these Groups, I doubt you’ll get very far with your goal leveraging LinkedIn Groups for your goals.

Instead of joining all 50 groups in 1 go, I suggest you use the following approach.

First decide on your intention for joining a group.

After that, look for large groups with high engagement rates. If you’re looking for a new job, then focus on 1-5 groups that fit the bill and then participate actively.

If that feels daunting, then start with your Alumni or professional Groups who will be happy to welcome you and it will be easier for you to also connect personally with group members.

If you’re in job search mode or looking for business leads or collaborators, you need to be able to talk to people in the company you’re targeting for the job or business.

That means connecting and building relationships with people who work for that company or even own it. Let them know you’re looking for a position.

When you join a Group, you also get access to their job postings that might not be advertised or available in the general job search function of LinkedIn.

Joining a Group is not enough though– you need to engage in discussions and even start conversations that bring value to the Group.

When other Group Members see you being active, they will get to know you and inclined to help if they see a common interest or ground.

The best part about Groups is you can send messages to Group Members although there is a daily cap to prevent misuse.

Make sure you read the rules established by the Group Manager or Admin for each of the Groups that you join and observe the Group and discussions before joining in.

Of course you want to get noticed but it has to be as a valuable new member, not a sore thumb!

Do this to create the right impression in your new LinkedIn Group

Once you have joined all of your selected groups, write a brief intro about yourself and your business – nothing too elaborate, just enough to let the group owner and members know that you are going to be a valued contributing member of the group.

I usually spin it a bit for every 4 to 5 groups, as there are going to many people that will belong to several of the same groups you are posting to – you don’t want it to look totally ‘copy and paste’ across all 50 groups!

So spin it a bit – change up the opening sentence every few sites, switch the paragraphs around, change the close.

You don’t have to write something totally unique for each one. But you do want to vary it a bit so that across the 50 groups you have at least 5 different versions, and ideally 10 different versions.

Consider content curation.

And if you’re like me, you don’t need to join all 50 groups in 1 go. I have about 25 based on education, profession and interests and I find that’s enough for my networking.

Have you leveraged the power of Groups for you career or business goals yet?

Additional Guidance on using LinkedIn Groups

This post would be incomplete without providing some guidance on using Groups on LinkedIn. Especially if you have never used them before. Here are 2 sources to help you.

LinkedIn Groups Membership – Overview

Find and Join a LinkedIn Group

5 Mistakes Professionals Make on LinkedIn

There’s no shadow of a doubt in my mind that we’re going to remember 2020 as the year of global adversity. All because of a virus that originated from Wuhan.

It’s a year of job losses and businesses, small and large downing their shutters leading to more unemployment.

Yet I believe this year will also be remembered as the one when we’d have discovered what really matters to us and the value of life and living.

Pivots are possible or even going in a different direction with our careers and business. We’ll finally embrace the change we knew we had to make. We made excuses because we were too comfortable and complacent to do what we knew we had to.

It is a year where ingenuity, strategy and the will to survive will guarantee a good year, even if things feel difficult and bleak right now.

One of my favorite stories is the one from Finland of the small bakery that decided to bake nourishing cakes in the form of – guess what – a toilet roll!

They made international headlines. Their strategy clearly indicated thinking outside the box to find new ideas. The toilet roll cake tactic paid off, the bakery is still running and the employees still have job.

Clearly, they flipped adversity and obstacles into an opportunity for success which is now being followed by others.

Don’t believe me? Watch this delightful video.

Key takeaway from the toilet roll cake story

It’s not what happens in life that defines you but how you deal with your situations.

You’ve heard the phrase ‘when life gives you lemons make lemonade‘.

This is as true today as it was when it was coined by Christian anarchist writer Elbert Hubbard in a 1915 obituary for dwarf actor Marshall Pinckney Wilder.

Although the expression was coined by Hubbard, many modern authors attribute the expression to Dale Carnegie who used it in his 1948 book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Carnegie’s version reads: “If You Have a Lemon, Make a Lemonade.”

Things are difficult right now for all of us. We are facing uncertainty on a daily basis worried if we will contract the COVID-19 virus if the person next to us is asymptomatic or if we will infect others.

There are economic and financial worries about a future where the return to normal or even a newer normal is possible.

Our experiences from which we can draw relevant guidance to cope isn’t fully available because frankly, the last time there was this kind of an epidemic was back in 1920 with the Spanish Flu and none of us or even our parents in some cases were born back then. There is no first hand experience.

Riding through the storm and coming out on top of adversity

What this means for us is to focus on mindset and strategies because we know how to do that from experience.

If you’re facing a career or life challenge, it can be hard to remember that it’s normal to have obstacles crop up from time to time. Everyone has setbacks, disappointments, and tough times.

But going through a rough patch doesn’t have to spoil your life.

The key to thriving in the face of adversity is how you respond to the obstacles in your path.

Here are four strategies to help you ride through and come out on top.

Make a conscious decision to acknowledge the obstacle or adversity

If you’re having a tough time, it can be easy to feel helpless and fall into a victim mode of thinking.

But it’s up to you to rise to the challenge and decide that you won’t be overwhelmed.

I go into detail about the time when a successful buy out of a project indicated our jobs were safe but the following year top management took a business decision to close the department leading to job losses and uncertainty in a recessionary economy in my post Can Moving Cheese Positively improve Career Life Balance.

The outcome for each team member depended on how well they embraced the obstacle and adapted to change.

Choosing to take control and embrace your challenge is the first step in overcoming it. Look your obstacle square in the face and resolve to meet it.

Use your discomfort to find a new status quo

The proof that you’re embracing your obstacle is acknowledging that it doesn’t feel good. It can feel uncomfortable, heavy, even painful.

There are lots of life experiences that hurt at the time but end up being for your best and highest good.

Discomfort is actually good because it compels you to find a new level of comfort. It’s what comes out of your Wake Up Call and the beginning of a Hero Journey to a better destination.

Of course, it can be fearful to step out of our comfort zone or you’re worried you will fail but you will feel so much better once you’ve faced the worst.

Remember it won’t last forever. Don’t shrink from the bad feelings. You can ride them out and emerge victorious!

Make sure you have the right support team to cheer you on

Sometimes, when you face adverse situations, others can help you to turn your situation around. It’s rare that anyone faces something unique.

Others have been through what you are going through. Reach out to them. It’s better to get the help you need than to needlessly struggle with your situation.

You don’t have to face your obstacles alone.

It can make all the difference to have people around you who are supportive, who’ll stick by you and cheer you on when you want to give up.

Many times, the only thing stopping you from getting support is the hesitation to ask for help or support. Some people avoid reaching out because they are embarrassed.

Remember, those people once went through it, too. They know what you are dealing with.

One of the reasons I love scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook or engaging in Groups is because I see of people reaching out when a friend or group member is having a rough time. They lovingly offer words of support or even giving advice because they have had similar experiences.

If you have a cheer squad, you’ll find that extra level of energy to help get you through. And you’ll be there for your friends and colleagues when they’re facing their challenges.

Once you’re part of a team who have each other’s backs, none of you will have to face life’s ups and downs alone. You’ll fight together and celebrate success together.

Be grateful for the opportunities adversity presents you

Feeling gratitude for the challenges in life might sound counter intuitive. But think about it.

Accepting the challenge, resolving to meet it head-on, and overcoming it makes you a better, stronger person.

Think of how good it feels to deal with a problem and solve it. To face fear and overcome it.

If you ask any successful person how they got that way, they will most likely tell you it’s due to overcoming failures. They learned from those failures and tried something different.

Each iteration, they learned something new from their failures. They continued until there were no failures.

One of my favorite stories is how Willis Carrier, the founder of modern air conditioning found a solution that helped his company make $15,000 additional income (a princely amount at the time) because he adopted the right mindset and didn’t let failure get him down.

Final words of encouragement

Without obstacles in your life, you would not grow and learn and become a better person. Obstacles are a natural, normal part of living an authentic life.

But you have to believe in yourself and what you’re doing.

Everyone has heard the classic tale how Thomas Edison continued 10,000 times before getting the light bulb to the way he wanted it. It’s hard to say if that number became exaggerated over the years, but he likely tried several thousand times at least.

The point is, he believed in what he was doing. When you try something that is untested, you need to take a leap of faith. Otherwise, it’s too easy to give up on your venture.

That is a truth that will always hold true. Even when the pandemic is over and we step into the post COVID-19 world.

It’s a fact the world we knew has changed in 2020 and if you’re feeling there isn’t any point in setting career or any kind of goal in an upside down world, I understand.

Many companies have had to lay off staff to survive lockdown conditions or to stay in business while others have deferred promotions, pay increments and bonuses.

If you, dear reader have been affected by these business decisions, I feel your pain.

I’ve experienced redundancies during economic downswings and jobs that were secure vanished overnight and so have many of my colleagues and friends.

But that doesn’t mean that all is lost.

The job market is starting to pick up albeit slowly and if you have what the hiring manager is looking for, then enjoy the interviews and signing your new job contract!

Companies may introduce new criterion for promotions and salaries and that is natural in a new business environment.

You can still make this a good year for your career if you apply strategic thinking.

You need to figure out how to showcase yourself to rise above the noise and become visible enough to achieve your career or business goals.

Before your eyes glaze over and you think strategic thinking is a vague buzzword CEOs or bosses toss around to sound important, please read on because I’m going to show you how Madonna did it and how you can too for career success!

Actually, Strategic Thinking is a skill we can all learn. It is how we plan, think, and ask questions to grow and learn while we work toward a goal.

It’s embracing what you were like when you were a young child and asking questions, most importantly, “why?”

Thinking strategically is based on a combination of knowledge, experiences, and your hunches. It’s about taking calculated and un-calculated risks that we hope will pay off in the future.

It’s about shifting your focus from just doing things to thinking and planning what should be getting done and if there is another way to achieve the results we want.

Strategic thinkers are creative individuals who think outside the box, not limiting themselves to the tried and true or best practice way of doing things.

On the other hand, non-strategic thinkers approach every task the same way, no matter if changing their strategy would yield better results. They are reactive and wait for guidance, rarely presenting new ideas.

For example, if you’re focusing on the same skill sets that others are in a job application you are just part of the crowd.

Why not look for something that makes you so special (provided it is true) to put in your CV and covering letter that compels the hiring manager to want to interview you?

It’s this approach that I share in Job Search Success and the same strategy applies even within an organization when you are vying for that promotion and trying to raise your Executive Presence.

It’s all about discovering your Unique Selling Proposition (USP) and knowing how to use it to your advantage.

The Career and Success Story of Madonna Ciccone

Believe it or not but I’ve seen Madonna’s career actually being used as a case study to analyse the role of strategy in career success within a fast-paced business environment!

In fact strategy exists for both individuals and organizations and this is a prime example.

If you were a teenager or young adult in the 1980s, you’d remember how Madonna seemed to have arrived out of nowhere and then made an impact with her first album in 1983.

It was a normal sight to see young girls wearing half finger lace gloves and bangle type earrings. Such was her impact on young teenagers.

More importantly, that first album was the successful result of a superb strategy.

In fact, long before Beyoncé and Lady Gaga, Madonna prove she was an astute strategist in the world of entertainment where the competition to survive is tough.

Madonna articulated her core mission, established her objectives, adopted a relentless strategic intent, and recognized that she could carve out uncontested market space by developing a USP and personal brand unlike anyone else’s.

As career professionals, freelancers, consultants and solopreneurs, the key lesson is to develop a competitive advantage that differentiates us from others in our field and stand out above the noise.

Normally when we think of competitive advantage, we assume that we’re doing the same thing as everyone else but better and become slaves to benchmarks, best practices and end up mimicking our competitors.

That’s not what Madonna did to achieve success.

She continues to reinvent herself and stay relevant. Many of her fans, including me, have followed her from where she started and continue to purchase her music.

She discovered her USP that helped her stand out from the crowd and created brand Madonna.

Now as professionals, we have 2 ways to decide on our USP.

You can either choose a generic strategy or build on it by deciding how you will do things differently or you can find your really unique quality and create a USP that leaves your competitors behind.

Madonna chose the latter and discovered what is called her Blue Ocean.

Blue Ocean strategy means thinking unconventionally, and most times, we have to force ourselves to change our thinking habits.

It’s helpful to train ourselves to look at situations not with our habitual perspective but with a keen eye for the hidden opportunities in the situation.

“Blue Ocean” is a strategic term that first appeared in a book called Blue Ocean Strategy by W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne and refers to uncontested market space carved out by shrewd competitors.

Kim and Mauborgne showed that most companies are driven to compete in what they call “Red Oceans.”

That’s where every industry is today. There is a defined market, defined competitor and a typical way to run a business in any specific industry.

The analogy used was one of a shark infested ocean where the sharks are fighting each other for the same prey.

That means operating at lower margins, reducing head count, tight budgets, lots of stress and companies going belly up when a recession or pandemic hits them.

The alternative is to carve out uncontested market space, differentiate yourself, your product, or your firm in some way meaningful to your target market.

That is, to find your Blue Ocean.

While the book talks about organizations, we can use the concept even at an individual professional level.

How to create your own blue ocean for career progression

In the book, Kim and Mauborgne talk about the Four Actions Framework as a method to get you thinking in fresh ways about what you do each day.

Instead of the conventional competitive model where we compete across a full range of factors, they suggest the blue ocean approach where we ask basic questions with the intention of creating new competitive factors that would appeal to unexplored market segments.

The Four Actions Framework consists of 4 questions designed to challenge an industry’s established structure and business logic:

(1) Which of the factors that the industry takes for granted should be eliminated?

(2) Which factors should be reduced well below the industry’s standard?

(3) Which factors should be raised well above the industry’s standard?

(4) Which factors should be created that the industry has never offered?

Another simpler way of looking at these questions is to think of them as 4 steps – Eliminate, Reduce, Raise and Create with the related activities enabling you to create a new value.

Let’s translate this to your career goals and intentions to stand out.

Eliminate: We identify the key factors you are competing on but which are not really adding value to where you want to be in your career.

Here we are not saying to abandon those factors but to remove them from the equation while we work out our blue ocean.

So skills and experiences are still valuable but we are looking for THAT secret sauce that makes you valuable.

Reduce: Next consider which factors you should focus less energy on so you have time for the factors that really make an impact.

Raise: Now that we have removed the factors that are common to your competition and which are not adding value to your professional profile, focus on what factors, skills, or added value you can work on to be the very best and stand apart.

This won’t be the same for every professional but in your case it might just be networking skills, executive presence, high emotional intelligence, people skills or something you do even better than your peers which has value in the next step of the career rung for you.

Now comes the really strategic thinking part.

Create: What can you bring to the table that is different? What do you possess that your peers don’t?

Speaking from experience, in one of my jobs, I received the offer over other competing candidates because of my multi-cultural experience which fitted in to an organization where the parent company and regional headquarters were located in 2 different countries with different methods of working to the local company and the need to adjust when dealing with colleagues in both without conflict.

My predecessor had quit because he found the others in those countries difficult to deal with. Actually the feeling had been mutual.

In other words, how are you going to find your USP that will enable you to break away from your competition?

PS. Once you’ve discovered your Blue Ocean, follow the tips in this blog post to let the world know how unique you really are!

Do you believe self-promotion in the workplace is for braggarts and good work speaks for itself?

This isn’t a trick question because that belief won’t take your career places. That’s what this professional who delivered 100% of the time realized at a crucial point of her career track.

To be honest with you, I felt bad for her. Really bad because I knew what had happened. There wasn’t much we could do about it other than consider a new option that would give her the validation she sought.

This competent high achieving professional was paying a high price for not doing enough self-promotion.

The background story was a particular position promised to her 2 years down the line if she met the goals her manager had set for her. The Key Performance Indices were challenging but achievable.

The lady was not only on target but had achieved more in year 1. But sometime in the course of year 2, there was a change of plan.

Her manager apologetically informed her the prize position at the end of the year was going to a relatively new employee. He hadn’t yet earned his stars but the top boss was impressed with him. Nothing could be done about it.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this.

A few years back one of my coaching clients asked for a session purely focused on this topic. Again, it was about colleagues who made complete fools of themselves in meetings without having complete data or facts. Yet they seemed to shine while she stayed in the background.

What neither realized was that their colleagues knew how to get others to notice them and stand out.

It’s something Bonnie Marcus discusses at the very beginning of her book The Politics of Promotion.

In fact, those competitive colleagues were demonstrating Executive Presence. Get your copy of this checklist by clicking the below image.

Nobody likes a person who boasts, brags or shows off. Especially when its done to make other people feel lacking or less competent.

In fact, the Oxford Dictionary definition of self-promotion is “the action of promoting or publicizing oneself or one’s activities, especially in a forceful way”.

But I have a question for you.

What does it cost you if you claim credit for something you have achieved?

Nothing at all, and it can actually open up opportunities. However, many of us are afraid to take credit for our successes as it feels uncomfortable. We may feel we will be seen as bragging or tooting our own horn.

These feelings can be related to our feelings of self-worth, but other aspects can have an effect too.

How we were raised and the expectations put on us in our formative years can greatly influence our relationship with ‘going public.’

Many families, societies, and cultures express disapproval with outward expression that is considered healthy or even admirable in others.

Self-Promotion is an art worth mastering for the sake of your career

 A person who is good at self-promotion enjoys taking credit for his or her valid accomplishments. Self-promotion is an art. It is an effective leadership skill.

Self-promotion can be learned, which is great news for those who are not comfortable with it. It is a skill that can be greatly improved with practice and application.

Self-promotion is not showing off. Speaking up about accomplishments made and contributions you can deliver does not mean you are egocentric or self-absorbing.

It means being noticed by the right people for the right reasons and in the right manner.

Think about it. When you state your accomplishments in your Resume or on your LinkedIn Profile, you’re promoting yourself and letting others know about your strengths and capabilities.

If it feels alright there, then why not in the workplace?

5 Signs you are bad at Self-Promotion

I’ve already told you about 2 professionals who were poor in promoting themselves. Now let’s check if this is you?

You work hard, you go the extra mile and deliver beyond others expectations. However, you do not take credit for your success. Instead, you allow others (especially with seniority or longer tenure at work) to be recognized.

You do not use ‘I’ but ‘we.’ You share the credit for your own diligent effort among your peers, groups, teams, and other people, which does not necessarily help you, particularly when it comes to your career. This makes you feel good at the time, but you may regret doing so later and wish you had been able to confidently claim the achievement as your own.

You tell yourself that great work sells itself, so there is no need for showing off your outstanding performance.

You hope that the right people will notice your achievements. After all, it was you who did all the hard work.

Sorry to burst your bubble but it doesn’t work that way. As my mentor told me a long time back, you have to step up to the plate if you want your career to go places.

When someone compliments you for your achievements, you feel that you are just lucky and thank the universe for making it happen, rather than thanking yourself for your efforts and skills.

Here’s a truth bomb. Self-deprecation may be charming but it wont help you get that promotion or climb the corporate ladder.

Instead, Self-promotion in our context is the art of advocating for yourself.

It’s important to your career’s success because you get a chance to set yourself apart, showcase your importance to the team, get deserved recognition, and set yourself up for advancements and opportunities.

It’s a leadership skill that should not be taken lightly. It’s also a skill that will enable you to raise your Executive Presence in the workplace.

How to Promote Yourself the Right Way

Now that you know where you might be going wrong, how about doing the right things without feeling like a slimy braggart?

Self-promotion is one of the strongest skills found in successful individuals. Being able to self-promote has many advantages. It is vital to personal advancement, and if done well can place you in top positions within your workplace.

Here are some ways to more effectively promote yourself without being self-obsessed.

• Self-awareness is important to successful self-promotion. It is about knowing your attitudes, values, behavior, beliefs, feelings, and other personality factors. Take some time for self-reflection to understand why you think and act as you do. Question any beliefs or behaviors that are not supporting the actions you know you need to take. If you are self-aware, you can promote in an intellectual manner.

(Need help in developing your self-awareness? You want to check out this resource)

• We all have stories to tell, so if you tell them, make sure they are interesting and provide value. Ensure that your stories are appropriate to the achievement. Don’t embellish, but don’t be self-deprecating either. In fact, use your stories to demonstrate your point of view – all leaders know the art of storytelling.

• Deliver, and don’t make empty promises. Do what you say you will. You deserve merit if any achievement is truly yours to claim. Focus on ‘showing’ what you have done, rather than ‘telling’ what you will do. At work, it is easier to lead your team if your members see you fulfilling your responsibilities. Walk the talk so you can self-promote unashamedly.

• Show genuine appreciation and recognition if your efforts are not yours alone. There may have been individuals who contributed along the way. By showing genuine appreciation and gratitude to others, you will make them feel valuable too. It also demonstrates you’re a positive person who is self-assured and not afraid to acknowledge others for their work.

• Work on becoming an industry or subject matter expert. Use social media to demonstrate your knowledge, perspectives and point of view. This could be articles you’ve written or even curated content with a note on your observations. Comment with insights on posts related to your area of expertise and soon you will be noticed without having to worry about boastful. I promise you your efforts will be noticed both within social media but even your organization.

You can find more methods to achieve this goal in Get Noticed.

Self-promotion is not always easy, especially in the workplace, which is why it can feel uncomfortable to do until an event happens that compels them to understand the need for speaking about their contributions to the organization.

However, when done the right way, there are many advantages and can be life-changing. Effective self-promotion has helped many individuals unlock their true potential, overcome their weaknesses, and stand out from the crowd.

Isn’t it time you began promoting your achievements, the way they deserve to be celebrated?

When you have a “run in” with someone whether it is a heated argument or just a subtle confrontation, do you find yourself getting wrapped up in your own emotions and assuming a position of defensiveness?

Or do you separate yourself from the emotion of the situation and put yourself in the other person’s shoes trying to see the world as they see it?

Most people opt for option #1 not because they want to, but because they are unaware that there is a better, more rewarding option.

As important as Intelligence Quotient and Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient are for achieving success in our lives and careers, there’s one crucial area many people never think about or discuss – the idea of Social Intelligence.

In his book, Mastery, Robert Greene defines social intelligence as “the ability to see people in the most realistic light possible”.

In other words, social intelligence is all about reading other people and figuring out the reasons why they behave the way they do. Think of it as your ability to think from another person’s perspective.

It’s human nature to be self-absorbed and to try projecting our emotional needs or views on others and then misread their intentions and create more confusion with our reactions.

But when we move past our self-absorption and learn to focus on others, read their behavior and what drives them we can contribute to creating a win-win outcome.

Greene breaks this into two kinds of knowledge: specific knowledge of human nature — the ability to read people, to get a feel for how they see the world, and to understand their individuality, and the general knowledge of human nature, which means accumulating an understanding of the overall patterns of human behavior that transcend us as individuals, including some of the darker qualities we often disregard.

Some of the best examples I’ve seen or read about in relation to high Social Intelligence include one of my bosses who knew the names of everyone in the office right down to the cleaning lady and would greet each one of us in the morning.

He knew what made us tick, what drove us and how to tie it into the annual targets and goals for our office and keep the Regional Head happy. It wasn’t just us, he was popular with our creditors and clients too!

And it isn’t just him. Socially intelligent leaders like A.G. Lafley who took over as CEO of Proctor and Gamble in 2000 know how to take a down in the dumps low morale employees to new aspirations that are aligned with the company vision and turn around results.

I love the story of how he told the employees to get the “moose” (i.e. the problems they’d been afraid to make public) out of the closets and onto the conference room tables where together they would solve them.

He showed respect for their views and put into practice those ideas that he thought were best. No wonder the stock price of the company rose by 70% under his stewardship.

It was the same with our boss. Monday meetings were never meant to berate us. Instead we brainstormed on how to meet our targets and the entire office worked together to achieve it.

Some of the worst examples of low social intelligence that I’ve seen are on Facebook where some people forget the reach of their posts and comments. They shouldn’t wonder why they’re being unfriended or kicked out of Groups.

A quick clarification about Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence – when they come together, they form ESI or Emotional and Social Intelligence – the ability to be aware of our own and others’ feelings – in the moment – and use that information to lead yourself and others (Institute for Social + Emotional Intelligence).

While they may sound similar, there is a difference in terms of timing and purpose.

Social Intelligence is about the future and determining the best way for us to get along and create a favorable outcome to any situation.

Think of it this way. There are people in the office who have the best possible qualifications and considered intelligent.

But the ones who are unpopular or have strained relationships with others are usually lacking in people skills and tact (ever been shocked at feedback that was so blunt that you wanted to crawl into a hole? Perhaps if you had received constructive criticism, you might have taken that feedback seriously?). These people would be considered as lacking or having low social intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence on the other hand is more about the present and closely related to emotions and feelings. It involves self-awareness as well as social awareness and an ability to understand the other person’s perspective using skills of empathy and perceptual positions.

What defines your Social Intelligence rating?

Psychology Today states social intelligence “…develops from experience with people and learning from success and failures in social settings.

It is more commonly referred to as “tact,” “common sense,” or “street smarts” and is mostly learned.

The magazine describes critical traits for people with high Social Intelligence:

• They can carry on conversations with a wide array of people and verbally communicate with appropriate and tactful words, also known as “social expressiveness skills.”
• They are socially sophisticated, adept at learning how to play different social roles, and well-versed at the informal rules of the game that are the creed of social interaction.
• They’re known to be effective listeners.
• They know how to efficiently analyze what makes people tick by paying attention to what they’re saying and how they’re behaving.
• Not only do they know how to learn to play different social roles; they put those skills into practice to feel at ease with many different types of personalities.
• They take care of the impression of themselves they exude on other people.

As you develop your social intelligence, you will find that you naturally become more persuasive and appealing to people of all kinds of personality types.

Instead of trying to force your ideals and opinions on someone who’s view of the world doesn’t match yours, you alter your approach to appeal to their nature.

It doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own beliefs and adopt theirs, it just means that you choose to suppress your opinion because you know it is a useless battle to enter.

For example, if someone is ranting and raving about a political or cultural issue, and you don’t agree at all, you let them sound off and hold your opinion to yourself. You can let them blow off some steam and just reply with something like, “I can see why that would be frustrating.”

Remember my reference to Facebook comments? Sometimes they lead to full blown wars with everyone wanting to have the last word with everyone losing the essence of the original comment.

Again, you don’t have to agree with them and compromise your own beliefs, but you also are not required to share your opinion.

Something very powerful happens when you choose this approach. You get to study and examine how this person thinks, what makes them tick, what makes them get emotional. You can use all of these triggers as ammo when you are dealing with them in the future.

Knowing this information, you can customize your approach when you deal with them in the future. If you need a favor or if you have to do a project with this person, you will be in a much stronger position to persuade them and speak/behave in ways that will win them over.

So the next time you come across someone who rubs you the wrong way or has a difficult personality, use it as an opportunity to enhance your social intelligence and you will gain more personal power than you had before.

This power will only continue to grow the more you use it!

Birthdays and year ends seem to be the time when we begin to feel something is missing in our lives. It’s like you’ve ventured into the forest in search of a pot of honey but got your foot stuck in a vicious bear trap.

Its normal (not the bear trap part of course) for us to start focusing on what we still need to achieve.

The not so normal part is when we go into doom and gloom and think of what’s wrong without considering what we got right and spiral further into a self-defeating frame of mind.

What thoughts are occupying your mind right now?

Do you feel like there is something holding you back in your life, but you aren’t quite sure what it is?

Do you go to bed some nights and wonder why you did that thing or said those words and wonder how you can change some bad habits you have?

Do you have a big dream, but are finding it hard to make progress toward it?

Your attitude and mindset may be what is holding you back in life.

A mindset is the mental attitude you adopt which dictates how you will or will not perceive, react and respond to situations.

Why is it important?

Your mindset can and will determine your life from academics to career and beyond.

Your mindset controls your behaviors and choices, and the wrong mentality can leave you feeling frustrated, worried, and like you always need to prove yourself to the world.

One way to understand the impact of your mindset on your life, career and chances of achieving your goals is to see how you compare yourself with others.

While it’s not advisable to engage in Comparisonitis, it’s true that this comparison can give us a benchmark to gauge our success or failure and hence a measure of where we can improve and achieve more.

It’s what we do with the data and knowledge gained from the comparison that makes the difference.

A person with a fixed mindset will indulge in a reverse method of thinking and apply this information to reaffirm their belief that they aren’t as good as the other person, highlight their own failures and feel they are not good at all.

Our mind is capable of finding information that will support a belief rather than look at information that proves the contrary. That is where the danger lies.

The Pitfalls of a Fixed Mindset

There are many dangers or drawbacks to applying this type of thinking, and this section will explore these in more detail to help you see how this way of thinking influences your beliefs, behaviours, and choices in life.

Your Mindset makes you avoid taking Risks

When it comes to attaining lofty goals or reaching the pinnacle of your field, you must take risks from time to time.

Risks are what stretch your comfort zone and force you to dare to be different, and very little in life can ever be achieved without taking at least some chances now and then.

But many people do not like to take risks because they are too afraid that the consequences will not be favorable. They fear failure.

This fear of things not working out as you planned is born from a fixed mindset.

You choose to not make yourself vulnerable to setbacks because you do not want to be seen as lacking. And because your fixed mindset says that you are born with certain talents and can’t learn and develop new skills, failure represents nothing but adverse outcomes.

The lack of risk-taking behaviors will severely limit your life. You will miss out on new experiences and perspectives, and you will limit your opportunities to achieve your goals and realize your true potential.

Imagine if Thomas Edison had given up his goal of creating an electric bulb or telephone after the first few failures. We’d still be using wax candles and using letters to communicate!

A number of the modern utilities and gadgets that we take for granted are the products of people who were not scared of failure but used it to find the perfect solution.

Get the Karmic Ally Coaching Change Quiz here to see how you respond to risk and change

You feel the need to prove yourself constantly

Those with a fixed way of viewing themselves and the world believe that their abilities, intelligence, character, and other traits are already in place from birth.

If we can’t change in any meaningful way in our lives, then we better have everything we need in place when it comes time to show others who we are and what we can do.

This leads to a need to maintain your image, to project your competence to others, and to always prove your worth and capabilities to those around you.

When you think you can’t change, then it becomes imperative that you continuously demonstrate that you are enough, that you know enough, that you have enough. Otherwise, you would be admitting failure, which is, again, one of the greatest fears of those who think this way.

You restrict your ability to succeed

Research into attitude and mindset has consistently demonstrated that what you believe about yourself will have the most influence on how you lead your life.

Your mindset determines your choices, your beliefs, and your actions.

It is the foundation for everything you do from the time you wake up each day until you go to bed at night. So, when you believe that you are already everything that you can possibly be, why would you get up each day and try hard to succeed?

Your motivation to set lofty goals and work hard to achieve them will be profoundly influenced. Your desire to stick with challenges and push through adversity will also be limited. When you face obstacles, you are more likely to allow these to define you permanently, which will limit your future success.

And because we all experience setbacks from time to time, this means that, at some point, your mindset will stop you in your tracks toward realizing your dream, and you will be unable to progress any further.

You limit your ability to know Yourself

Those who adopt a fixed mindset receive their rewards in life from validation from others and external rewards, which are evidence of their innate talents.

They don’t take the time to understand their motivations or intrinsic reward system, and they lack the ability to self-reflect, which is integral to personal growth.

But it is only through self-awareness and knowledge that you can lead an authentic life and be truly yourself, so without this, you limit your potential and self-actualization.

Those with a fixed mindset depend on others to help determine their self-worth, which can lead to actions that are meant to deceive others or even one’s self from who they are or what they need in life.

Over time, this leads to a lack of fulfillment and a realization that something is missing from your happiness.

It’s one of the reasons I always advise clients and even consults who are not ready to hire a coach to at least practice Louise Hay’s Mirror Work Exercises.

A Fixed Mindset Means You Can’t Become a Different Person

At some point in your life, you are going to wake up and realize that you are ready for a change, that you want to try something new, or become a different version of yourself.

This is the nature of being human. You get tired of your job, your feelings for your spouse change, you want to have children, you decide to go back to school.

This is part of getting older, aging, and changing. But those with a fixed mindset have a tough time seeing a new version of themselves, of taking the chances necessary to make these substantial changes happen. You end up living the same life every day for the rest of your life.

Without the ability to imagine growth and development, you will struggle to consider alternative paths and new goals for yourself.

You will stagnate in your reality and possibly wake up feeling discontented but lack the ability to make the changes necessary to address this.

Without the ability to change your mindset, you cannot change your life.

It creates the need for competition which can turn unhealthy

When you believe that you are born with all the talent and ability you will ever have in life, you tie your identity and your self-worth to your accomplishments. “See, here is evidence of my intelligence or skill. Look at how smart/good I am.”

That means that life becomes about winning and avoiding losing. And when you focus so much on whether or not you are on top, you can end up making some poor decisions related to your desire to win at any cost.

Those who focus solely on proving their abilities to others can end up engaging in destructive, dishonest, and even illegal behaviors in an effort to prove themselves to the world.

You will never experience the level of success you are capable of and truly deserve unless you follow an approach that is on the other side of the spectrum of mindset – a growth mindset.

This mindset reframes the other person’s success as a motivator that enables you to strive harder, do more, and work harder, you re-train your brain to view this not as an excuse to stay status quo, but as a reason to thrive.

When you embrace a growth mindset, you will find that your world is actually full of possibilities, not closed doors.

What is a Growth Mindset?

The term growth mindset was first used by Carol Dweck in her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success in 2006.

As a researcher of personality, motivation, and development, Dweck has studied the role of one’s outlook on success and happiness for many years, and she has determined that we all have a mindset that lies somewhere between two extremes on a continuum.

The growth mindset, as defined by Dweck and embraced by others since its introduction, is when you believe that your talents and strengths can be developed as you age.

This development occurs through work, learning from others, explicit effort, and engaging in practice.

The growth mindset is contrasted with a fixed mindset, in which one believes that your talents are innate to you when you are born and do not evolve much throughout your life.

This understanding of a growth mindset challenges long-held beliefs that you are either born smart or you aren’t, and that gifts and talents are pretty much fixed from birth.

Being growth-oriented is a way to help you identify ways of strengthening your weaknesses, closing gaps in your achievement through intentional effort and overall enabling you to grow as a person in various ways.

Today, the idea of cultivating a growth mindset has been embraced by companies, schools, personal development coaches, and many others as a way to empower people to feel that they have control over their lives and can achieve the goals they set for themselves.

9 Easy Ways to start developing a Growth Mindset

Developing a growth mindset doesn’t happen overnight and requires patience and practice.

Focus on being realistic about how much time and effort it will take to change your mindset. Your beliefs are well ingrained and probably date back from your earliest experiences.

It takes a long time and lots of work to transform these types of beliefs. It IS possible, but it does take time, so be realistic with yourself about what you can accomplish in shorter periods.

Here are my recommended ones to get you started.

#1. Start seeing challenges and obstacles as opportunities. When something difficult or unexpected happens in your life, look for what you can learn from the situation and how it can help you grow as a person. In other words, build your positive reflex.

#2. Stop seeking the approval of other people. When you are always worried about what other people are thinking about you, you are placing their priorities above your own. It does not matter what they believe. Only you must live with the consequences of your choices.

#3. Celebrate the learning and growth of other people. When you look for ways that other people are improving their lives, you start to notice more opportunities within your own. Be happy for people you love who are enhancing their experience, and soon, you will be happy for yourself, as well.

#4. Focus on being your most authentic self. Those who are fixated on proving themselves to others often pretend to be something they are not. When you do this, it diminishes your ability to be you. Focus on living as yourself and allowing others to see the real you. Once you are your authentic self, you can focus on what matters most to you.

#5. Stop fearing failure. Instead of thinking of it as a setback or failure, embrace what you can learn from the experience. Focus on the lessons and the opportunities failure provides instead of what you are missing out on.

#6. Strengthen your self-awareness. The better you know yourself, the more you can use your talents and strengthen your weaknesses. When you are not sure, ask for feedback from those you trust. People have a different perspective than you, and they can help you identify crucial areas for your development and learning.

#7. Watch your language. Pay attention to the words you use with others as well as with yourself. Your vocabulary tells you a lot about your underlying beliefs. Are you using positive, growth-oriented words, or do you still hear negative language? Changing your vocabulary can help improve your mindset, so be sure to really listen to the words you are choosing.

#8. Focus on your purpose. Those with a growth mindset are purpose-driven, so if you don’t’ really know what your purpose is, that’s a wonderful place to start with your personal growth journey. What excites you? What interests you most? What talents do you want to share with the world? The more you focus on what your driving passion is, the easier it will be to stay motivated to learn and grow.

#9. Take more risks. Those who fear failure will avoid taking risks. If you find that you shy away from chance, then, think of small ways you can take risks in your daily life. Try something you have never done before. Make yourself vulnerable to someone. Go somewhere new. The more you push your comfort zone, the easier it will be the next time you want to take a risk.

Changing your mindset takes time and patience, but with consistent practice, you can change how you view yourself and the world, which can lead to more success and happiness for you.

Now is a good time to focus on developing your growth mindset and preparing for success.

Additional Success Resource

Karmic Ally Coaching’s Success Mindset Bundle provides you with the tool to do this. This eBook explores the ins and outs of the growth mindset and how it can enhance your personal development.

It offers strategies and tips for how you can transform your mindset into a more positive, learning-oriented one that expands your possibilities with a planner to record your actions and progress through the year.

Sticking to a dead end job for the money or feeling dis-empowered because of financial commitments is more common than you would imagine.

I covered how to overcome that fear and do the right thing by you in my post What’s more important – Money or Your toxic Job?

But what about a situation where it isn’t the money?

When your heart has stopped singing, you’re dragging yourself to work each morning or you feel you’ve gone as far as you can in your career and want more?

Or you’re in a job that is being made redundant. This has triggered a thought that has been lurking in your mind. That you want to do something different but ambivalent about stepping out of your comfort zone.

It could also be that you’ve moved up the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs and you’ve figured out your current career is not aligned with your new need. I’ve personally experienced this as I narrate in my Meet the Coach page.

It’s also the impression I get from the questions I’m often asked on Quora about mistakes in jobs or changing careers.

In the case of the former, the solution is easy. Find a new job but changing a career is a different kettle of fish and you need to be clear on what you want.

It’s apparent the answer seeker has already figured out they want to change their career but aren’t sure how to go about it.

Here’s what I feel.

Choosing a new career is never an easy choice.

Yet, following your passion is worth every effort that you put into planning a change in your career.

With adequate planning, the switch over can be exciting, motivating, and rejuvenating instead of fraught with worry.

If that’s your situation, consider the following factors for starters as you plan and implement your career change:

Assess your motives for the career change

The importance of this factor must not be underestimated. Changing a career, especially at a later stage of your career journey can be risky and might not be all that you think it is.

Hence, you need to unearth the reasons for your desire to change careers. Do you feel underappreciated, underpaid, overworked, or unsatisfied in your current position?

If so, dig deeper to discern whether your current employer or the career field as a whole is at the route of your dissatisfaction.

• If you discover that the source of your unhappiness is your employer, change employers rather than starting an entirely new career. It’s much easier to get a job within your current career field than to get your foot in the door of a completely separate career field.

• If your issue is being underpaid or overworked, it may not be necessary to change employers. Gather your information to support your view or make a business case for your request and have a talk with your supervisor. Tell them how your current position is making you feel. If you’re an asset to the company, you may be able to work out an agreement for a raise, promotion or fewer working hours.

Still not sure? Karmic Ally Coaching’s Changing Careers After 40 Tip Sheet will provide insights.

Continue your education and research

Continuing professional education and staying on top of developments in your field is a must.

But what about the new career?

If you’re considering a drastic career change, such as going from being an Internal Auditor to a career in Holistic Nursing, clearly you’ll need additional training. More common career changes may require less continued education, if any at all. 

• Consult with an admissions advisor of a local college or of one specializing in your new career field in order to discern whether any continued education or additional training is necessary. If so, discuss scheduling, whether it can be done online, tuition assistance, and so on.

• Search for job postings online which fit the career field you’d like to enter. Generally, the employer or recruiter will list the required education and experience necessary to be considered for the job.

• Connect with professionals in the new career field on LinkedIn and Facebook and request them for information. As long as you don’t pick their brains too much and are focused on the questions you have, you will get the information you want.

• In some instances, a certificate may not be enough to get your foot into the door of a new career field. You might also be required to do an internship or apprenticeship for a period that can range anywhere from 1 to 3 years which might not pay well. If your passionate about the new career field, you must work out the finances to support you during the apprenticeship if it is more than a one-year time investment.

• Consider the possibility that additional training may be all that’s necessary to improve your current career. Perhaps additional education will place you in line for a promotion or more challenging work. For example, if you’re working in a bank and aspire to a bank officer position, sitting the Bankers Institute Examination and passing them would position you for consideration for your desired job and step up the career ladder if you already have a good performance track record.

Take it slowly

This tip is based on my observation of amazing professionals who hire me for consultations after they have resigned rather than while they still had their jobs and could leverage their employment to appear desirable to a prospective employer.

The sad truth is it’s easier to get a new job when you have a job!

Hang on to your current paycheck for as long as you can, preferably until you can secure a position with a new employer. Set up interviews while you’re still employed and only quit your current position once you’ve found a job.

• When you’re currently employed with another company, you have more bargaining power in terms of salary when considering a position with a new employer.

• Once you’ve secured a position, it’s time to give notice to your current employer in accordance with your employment contract. Make sure your conduct is professional throughout this period. Be honest about your reason for leaving. This conduct, especially if it is a longer notice period of say 3 months increases the chances of a good recommendation. It will also prevent them from being surprised when someone calls to confirm a reference.

With the right research and planning that includes ensuring your family’s security, there’s no reason why you cannot explore a new career in a field that will make your heart sing and give you a new purpose.