Every struggle you experience only makes you stronger, resilient and forms part of your inevitable success story.

I’m able to say this with conviction because whenever I’ve experienced a situation where I’ve had to struggle, I’ve emerged stronger, more empowered and in a position to guide others who are on that path.

In my post ‘Want that promotion? Better raise your Executive Presence’, I shared about how I raised my Executive Presence and Gravitas but there is another part of the story that I hadn’t shared.

The story of feeling confused, hurt, upset and even angry that I had been denied a promotion and pay increase because of that lady Manager. The fact that I had 6 months to prove myself worthy of that promotion hurt.

My colleagues knew it was unfair but only one of them, Diana, had the courage to speak up and tell me what I needed to hear.

She acknowledged the unfairness of the situation and told me that in later years I would be grateful that this setback had happened early in my career when I could learn the lessons and use them later unlike others who might have a smooth sail early in their career and then get hit by a similar situation.

Diana told me to take it in my stride and show everyone what I was really all about.

Bless her heart because I took on the secondment to the Insolvency Department with the right attitude. Even though I struggled in the start, by the time I left, I knew I was a stronger professional and achieved a lot more in my career at a young age.

She was right of course. When the recession started shortly after we all qualified as Chartered Accountants, quite a few of my colleagues and friends in the profession were given the pink slip as they walked into the office one morning and escorted out.

They went through the same emotional upheaval I had earlier. I gave them the same advice Diana had given me because it worked. Mindset is crucial to handle both failure and success.

Now ask yourself, if you always got what you wanted without needing to struggle or do hard work, what kind of person would you be?

Imagine what type of a person you would be if everything came to you without a single setback, with no failure or pain?

The honest answer?

You’d be a weak person lacking resilience. When faced with a trial or tough situation, you would be completely unable to handle it appropriately.

Without overcoming the negative opinions everyone else offers, without overcoming those failures, and dealing with obstacles, you would crumble like a house of cards.

When we talk about success, we’re not talking about the result but rather the process to success.

Buying the latest smartphone isn’t indicative of your success. Purchasing a rooftop apartment in a tony location isn’t success. Even being awarded Employee of the Month or Year isn’t success. What it means is that you are succeeding.

Success is a mental transformation. It is the process of leaving behind your mentally fragile self to embrace your mental strength.

As you struggle, the obstacles and failures you walk through will harden your mind, preparing you to achieve your rewards.

I’m reminded of the story of the man who wanted to be kind to a butterfly that was starting to hatch from its cocoon.

He watched the butterfly for hours as it struggled to force itself through a tiny hole. Then, it suddenly stopped making progress and looked like it was stuck.

Wanting to help the butterfly out, he took a pair of scissors and cut off the remaining bit of cocoon and the butterfly emerged easily although it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man thought nothing of it, and he sat there waiting for the wings to enlarge to support the butterfly.

However, that never happened. The butterfly spent the rest of its life unable to fly, crawling around with small wings and a swollen body.

What this well-meaning man hadn’t realized was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle needed by the butterfly to get itself through the small hole were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to prepare itself for flying once it was free.

The struggle was required in the process to achieve success.

While this is a moral story, one keeps reading about the stories of lottery winners who are unable to mentally cope with the large sums of money they win overnight and end up wasting it.

They waste it all. Often, coming out on the other side with less than they had before they experienced the big win. This is fairly common for any person who comes into a large sum of money. How can you know how to handle that much money? It’s a process, not the result.

If you don’t go through struggle, then you have never gone through something that will strengthen you, leaving you weak. Without struggle, you can’t grow. Without resistance, how will you develop strength?

It’s impossible to get what you really want if you aren’t challenging yourself. If you aren’t willing to deal with the pain of growth, then it means you’ve chosen mediocrity. You aren’t really hungry enough to strive for your dreams and wants.

So how desperately do you want to achieve your dream career or life?

If you’re so desperate to achieve it, then you will accept the struggle, you will embrace the pain. Those are the sacrifices necessary to get you where you want to go. Everything comes with a price, and the price of success is struggle.

When you accept pain and struggle as part of the process, then struggle will be your ally as you become a stronger person and your soul evolves. It’s difficult to appreciate the great things in your life when you don’t experience struggle and disappointment.

Struggle forms part of your story because struggle is what has made you who you are today. Think about it. If you could go back and change mistakes and failures, would you?

Your initial response might be yes. Think about it a little deeper, all of your mistakes have led you to this point. If you didn’t make them, who knows where you would be.

No matter how difficult life can be, you’re in a pretty great spot, aren’t you? You are if you take a look around you and choose gratitude.

People love the underdog, the person who had to work through struggle and overcome challenges. They’re not interested in hearing the stories of people born into privilege and get everything without working for it.

Embrace struggle, it is part of your story.

5 Reasons struggles happen but can easily be overcome

While we accept that struggles are inevitable in life it’s equally true that overcoming them isn’t easy. But you can. The more important point is that we often make certain mistakes that keep us in struggles.

Are you making these mistakes?

1. Uncertain Goals

If you don’t set clear goals for yourself to work towards, you’ll find yourself floundering. You will always do better in life and cope better with struggles when you have clear goals to pursue.

Goals can help guide your social life, career, finances, and even family life. When you have a goal to work toward it’s easier to view struggle as the challenge that it is.

2. Demanding Immediate Gratification

Instant streaming, reservations, same-day delivery… we live in a world of immediate gratification. Yet, the world around us doesn’t always move quite as quickly (or efficiently).

If you’re expecting things to come to you easily, then you’re going to face disappointment and frustration.

You need patience when you are attempting to overcome the obstacles you face. Hard work is time-consuming, it’s a build-up, a slow burn. You will always be disappointed if you expect everything to work in your favor and quickly. You will not get immediate results, and that’s okay.

3. Inability to Prioritize

If you are constantly overwhelmed, then you’re probably going to stay in a state of struggle. You might have a list of things you want to do but if you don’t know how to prioritize these things, then you’re not going to achieve the success you crave.

Prioritization isn’t just a time management skill, you need it to identify and work on those things that move the needle for you. If you are unable to prioritize, you are going to stay stuck in your struggles.

4. You Give Up Easily

Do you give up at the first sight of trouble or as soon as things turn against you? You won’t be successful if you can’t overcome struggles. Yet, that’s what we do.

The majority of life’s problems will require multiple attempts before you find a successful solution. If you quit at the first sign of trouble, then you’re not moving yourself forward.

5. Blaming Others Instead of Accepting Responsibility

It’s easy to blame others for your struggles. But isn’t that an easy way to deflect responsibility? It might make you feel good in the moment but you still have to deal with the struggle.

It’s vital for you to learn to take responsibility for your actions and behaviour. It’s up to you to find solutions to your problems, it isn’t on others.

You may have had a difficult childhood, you could have hit a bad run of luck. However, if you hold onto those negative feelings it will keep you in your struggles.

Own your mistakes, they’re a badge of honour, they are going to mould you into the person you become.

When you feel you need support to overcome these struggles, it’s perfectly fine to ask for help. It isn’t a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is a sign of self-love and courage to admit you need support to get through a difficult time.

We all face struggles at some point or the other in life but it doesn’t mean that we need to stay stuck in those struggles.

All you need to do is make a choice and then take active steps to push yourself beyond your struggles and still find success.

5 helpful Tips to move through Struggle to Success

Sometimes the struggles we experience are outside of the realm of our control.

For example, losing your job during the pandemic or falling ill and requiring more time off than is statutorily allowed from work.  Yet, they are powerful and can easily drag us down.

Bearing that in mind, here are 5 tips that will help you make your way through struggle as unscathed as possible. These are things that you can incorporate into your daily life.

1. Make a Gratitude List

Gratitude is a powerful feeling and not just for law of attraction purposes. Researchers have documented the link between well-being and gratitude.

These researchers have found that habitually focusing on the positives in life can boost self-esteem, reduce the symptoms of depression, and improve overall life satisfaction.

The simplest way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a list. Get yourself in the habit of writing down a few things you’re grateful for daily. It only takes a minute, but that minute of effort can heavily influence your well-being, anxiety, and stress. You don’t have to struggle.

2. Spend Time Meditating

You likely already know how meditation can help relieve stress. It’s important to recognize that regular meditation can provide you with improvements in your overall well-being.

Struggle often impacts us in different ways, generally in levels of stress and anxiety. There are different types of meditation so, you will be able to find one that suits you and your schedule.

3. Regular Exercise

Do not underestimate the power of exercise, it can heavily influence you both psychologically and physically. The surge of endorphins that shoots through your body after you exercise helps you deal with stress and leaves you feeling energized.

Often, the most difficult aspect of struggle is how it influences your overall health and wellness. When you go through struggles it impacts your stress levels, anxiety, and can also trigger depressive symptoms.

This just complicates the feeling of struggle. It’s something you can combat by pushing yourself to exercise regularly.

4. Learn to Laugh

Laughter doesn’t just improve your mood, it also relieves stress. According to a study from Loma Linda University in California, after watching 20 minutes of comedy videos, older adults had a reduction in cortisol.

Now you have an excuse to watch your favorite sitcom!

5. Embrace Struggle

Whenever I faced a daunting struggle, my father used to tell me I had 2 options – brave it or brazen it. The point is, sometimes you just have to ride it out.

While the strategies we discussed above are all about fighting stress, overcoming struggle, and protecting your well-being, it’s also important to consider the alternative. You can’t always get rid of stress.

You can’t always dismiss struggles. At some point, you will just have to cope with it as best you can and ride it out.

What you can do, however, is stop imagining the worst-case scenario. Or if your Inner Critic doesn’t cut you slack, just ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? This one tactic will remove the sting of fearing failure and put things back in perspective.

Take a giant step back and look at the positives in your life. They will far outweigh the struggles if you look hard enough.

Final Words of Guidance

There isn’t a magic bullet for issues like stress and struggle. They are natural parts of life that we just have to deal with as they come. We do have the power within ourselves to overcome difficult times. We simply need to take the time to stop and ask ourselves what we are doing.

Are you allowing the struggle to overpower you? Or, are you going to take proactive steps to overcome struggle?

The choice is yours, and the strategies above can help you make the right decision.

Taking small breaks improved my focus and productivity while preparing for my 10^th Grade Board Exams. Many of us were feeling overwhelmed with the study load and the importance of this exam. God Bless our class teacher who devised a system for us that worked.

We drew up a weekly timetable with different colors for each subject. Each subject was to be studied for 45 minutes and then switch to another subject.

I loved the idea of crossing out the boxes with a black marker pen as we went along.

But the clincher was the 15-minute breaks after every 2 study subjects. In other words, we got 15 minutes off after every 90 minutes of study.

The system worked and I topped my class without stress. Better still, the method still works after 40 years.

The only difference is my timetable is now on an Excel spreadsheet on my laptop. I still love crossing out the boxes!

Since then, I’ve learned some other strategies to go with this simple method helping me stay focused and efficient. And so can you.

The Dilemma of staying Productive in an Unproductive environment

We all want to be productive and efficient in the workplace. The good news is our bosses want that from us too.

The bad news? Even with the best of intentions, bosses sometimes can’t always create environments that facilitate productivity.

In the days when open office plans were the rage, the best they could do is tell you to work in the meeting room or if even work from home.

That doesn’t mean you can’t create your own productivity formula, though.

In fact, by taking small breaks regularly throughout the day you’ll be able to maintain your focus, thus being a more productive person.

I think our teacher knew that taking regular breaks during our study time would refresh our concentration and retention power. It would also help us to get more studying and revision done.

Years later, I found external evidence too in favor of regular breaks and even the duration of the break.

How often should these small breaks occur?

While there is wide range of opinions on this, there are 2 that answer this question.

MIT Sloan’s Robert Pozen recommends a break after 75 (to 90) minutes.

The Energy Project’s Tony Schwartz also recommends a break after 90 minutes.

Schwartz’s research shows that humans naturally move from full focus and energy to physiological fatigue every 90 minutes.

Our body sends us signals to rest and renew, but we override them with coffee, energy drinks, and sugar… or just by tapping our own reserves until they’re depleted.

That’s when we experience burnout and literally collapse.

While Schwartz suggests we purposefully take short breaks every 90 minutes throughout the day to drink water, walk, or to eat healthy snacks, even pausing to do a short meditation or power nap would do wonders.

I love his mantra is, “Pulse and pause.” It’s this idea of pulsing energy that’s behind the Pomodoro Technique developed by Francesco Cirillo.

With the Pomodoro method, you set a timer for 25 minutes, work on a single task with your full focus, then take a 5-minute break to get up, move around and maybe drink some water. Then, you repeat the cycle.

These experts believe that working for up to 90 minutes at a time will take advantage of the brain’s focus and consolidation modes.

Quite simply, there are 90 minutes of focus, and a 15-minute break allows your brain to consolidate and retain that information efficiently.

Not every position or schedule will allow you to take regular breaks at specific times. If this doesn’t describe your job, then simply take breaks where possible.

If someone is running late for a meeting, that’s your opportunity to grab five minutes to yourself.

That’s a technique I used in the office when leaving the desk for a full 15 minutes or so wasn’t possible. It also helped prevent a back problem or carpal tunnel syndrome in my hands.

I must point out that a lot depends on the culture of the company that you work for. Many owners and managers frown upon breaks.

We’ve gotten into this habit of scarfing down a quick lunch without even walking away from our desks.

All in the name of productivity. All to be seen to be doing the right thing. The right thing, though, for your health and your productivity, is to take your breaks!

The right way to take regular breaks

Plan to take a break at least every 90 minutes. If you want to be productive and maintain your focus, then you will protect your concentration by taking regular breaks.

The key lies in making the right decisions and not use it as an excuse to do wrong activities.

Resist every urge to hop online when you are supposed to be working. Don’t be tempted to check emails when you’re supposed to be focused on a project.

Another way to protect your focus is to resist eating junk at lunch. A burger may be quick, easy, and delicious, but it isn’t feeding your brain.

All of these decisions and choices that you can make throughout the day adds up to maintaining your focus and concentration.

It’s all about training your willpower and building up that muscle.

That, of course, includes those regular breaks.

The Pomodoro technique advocates for breaks after 25 minutes. Some experts suggest a break after 50 minutes.

That’s well and good if you work from home or have an understanding boss. 90 minutes is your goal.

It’s worth noting that DeskTime research found that the most productive employees worked 52 minutes (on average) before breaking for 17-minutes.

Why? It might be that we are more focused and remain focused because we know there’s a break coming.

If you think about a traditional working situation, then you know exactly how you lose focus as a break approaches.

Your body and brain are desperate to get to that break and you start to lose focus. You completely shut down and turn off, watching the clock for the magic number.

It’s different when you enjoy regular breaks. You don’t watch the clock because you are refreshing your concentration regularly. Try it out and see how much of a difference it makes.

Make those break time minutes matter. Most organizations have firewalls on their servers and internet so checking social media or watching puppy and kitten videos might be out.

Here are some better ideas:

Exercise: Do small workouts within your office space. If that isn’t possible, how about walking up and down the stairs for a few minutes?

Walking: Take a walk to clear your mind and get some genuine Vitamin D. This will improve your concentration powers too.

Chat with your colleagues: Research shows that employees who socialize are happier at work and are able to do as much as their non-socializing co-workers.

If you aren’t sure whether your boss will allow you to do this, you can try it at home with a project.

The difference it makes to your performance might be enough to help you convince your boss to make the change in the office.

Frequent breaks are part of the survival kit for every office worker – they can improve your eyesight, reduce back pain, arthritis, stress levels, and even the risk of heart disease.

Simply put, working non-stop for long periods of time can lead to cognitive boredom and that’s when we tend to make mistakes most.

The human brain isn’t able to focus for 8 hours at a time. Besides giving your mind a break, it gives you a chance to take advantage of the Zeigarnik Effect, another productivity hack.

More importantly, your body gets a chance to rest and even boost your productivity.

Isn’t that worth taking regular breaks?

Practicing mindfulness benefits the practitioner both in their personal and professional life and especially when they are trying to demonstrate their leadership ability.

I’ve had professionals tell me about the free trainings in their company for learning mindfulness meditation so I know it’s quite popular.

But do you understand what is meant by mindfulness?

I have my own version of mindfulness in the blog post meditation for mindful leadership but there is a simpler one for the purposes of this post which I found on Mindful.Org.

“Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

Mindfulness is a quality that every human being already possesses, it’s not something you have to conjure up, you just have to learn how to access it.”

Prefer to read? Here’s the Video Transcript

Mindfulness Meditation is a well-known technique of meditation and one which is used by many leaders. But have you ever wondered how you could actually successfully master this skill of mindfulness without meditating?

Hi, I’m Vatsala Shukla, Chief Encouragement Officer of Karmic Ally Coaching and in this video, I’m going to actually show you how you can do it if you are not keen on meditation.

But first, just so that we are all on the same page, what’s mindfulness meditation?

The way I’d like to describe it is that it is the combination of meditation with the practice of mindfulness where we’re focusing on the present, we’re acknowledging and accepting our thoughts, feelings and sensations from a place of non-judgment.

Now that we’ve got this definition out of the way, let’s address the question that I had started with.

And that is, what if meditation isn’t your cup of tea or coffee?

Meditation doesn’t suit everyone and while meditation may be the most effective way to achieve mindfulness, there are other options that you can try because in my experience, there are people who have difficulty practicing traditional seated contemplation.

Or they find it challenging to sit in meditation for long periods of time. Their feet may fall asleep or they may have a back problem and they find that difficult or it’s in your nature and temperament that you’re seeking a shorter version which has more active participation from the other senses.

Now if any of that sounds familiar to you or sounds like you, then I’ve got some good news for you today. You can still find more happiness and peace of mind through a variety of physical and mental practices.

And I’m going to be sharing 9 of them. In fact you may find that these activities are beneficial on their own or they may strengthen your ability and interest in meditating.

But whatever path you follow, do try one or all of these 9 ideas for becoming fully present.

Physical Practices to improve mindfulness

So the first one is breathe deeply.

Engaging with your breath is a practice that you can do anywhere. And here what you’re going to do is you’re going to pay attention to each inhalation and each exhalation.

You’re going to feel calmer and stronger. And remember, at least in this one, to sit with a straight back in order to get the full benefit.

To allow inhalations and exhalations to fill up your lungs and empty it out. And when you do that you do become more aware of what’s going on around you.

In fact I’ve got a blog post which can show you how to do this, even better as well as provide you with more stimuli, external stimuli in order to engage you in it.

The next one is a very simple one and many of you would be aware of it and that is to do yoga. Because yoga connects your mind, body, and breath.

And as a bonus, if you do the down dog and other poses that will open up your hips you would be able to sit more comfortably if you do decide to meditate later sitting down.

The third one, which I don’t think you actually expected me to say is to do creative flower arrangements.

Now this actually does engage your mind because you know you’re observing the flowers, you’re thinking about how to present them.

And one of my favorites is Ikebana which was originally used to create shrine offerings, but you can use it to connect with nature and as a tool of self-expression.

In fact I recommend that you either take a live class or an online class if that is not possible or even pick up a book at the library to learn about the various techniques.

I actually studied the Ohara school of Ikebana when I was still in school. I was participating in the Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme and the hobby I had to take up was Ikebana.

And I can tell you that even to this day doing creative flower arrangements does make me more aware of nature and of what I’m actually doing. And it is a must try.

Then the next one is to learn martial arts and you know, Karate and other martial arts involves a lot more than just fighting.

Regardless of what you’ve seen in the movies, building your character is more important than just chopping of blocks of wood by hand.

So, you try to remember Enter the Dragon with Bruce Lee in it and you’d notice he was doing a lot more in it than Kung Fu and just hitting people. Or remember the Karate Kid movie where it all comes down to developing that mindset and the child becoming, the little hero, becoming more aware of what he was doing and the confidence that it brought. So this is not to be laughed at or put aside.

And the fifth one is one that I’m sure you’re going to love and that is to drink tea.

And make it even better than just, you know, glugging down a mug of Tea but to actually hold a tea ceremony which is another tradition to encourage mindfulness.

And if you’re doing this at home, then try giving your full attention to any food or drink that you’re having. Savor that cup of tea or even coffee for that matter, smell the aroma, feel the warmth in your hand, enjoy the taste.

And the same thing goes for the food. In fact when His Holiness the Dalai Lama tells us to do mindful eating and to chew our food 16 times before swallowing it down, it’s not that he’s teaching you how to chew food but by doing that ritual, you’re actually getting a full sense of what you’re eating.

You’re mindful of what you’re putting in your mouth. You’re getting the taste, the aroma and the textures as you chew and swallow.

Okay, so these were 5 ways that you can actually develop the skill of mindfulness without even a bit of meditation but what about some inner or mental practices.

I’ve got 4 for you.

Mental or Inner Mindfulness Practices

The first one is to slow down. Now you might remember the saying that you know, you have to slow down in order to go fast.

What this basically means is, that you know, slow down, do deliberate movements, think before you move. Consider each step that you’re taking and that way when you slow down, you do become more mindful because you know what you’re doing.

The second one is Focus and by focus what we mean is give your attention completely to what you’re doing, to the task at hand.

Now in a home setting what it means is that when you do sit down to mealtime, please put your mobile phone on silent mode, ask everybody to in fact to put it on silent mode, enjoy the food, observe your family, talk to them.

Focus on them and give them the quality time that they need. When it comes to doing a piece of work, even though everybody loves to say that they are multi-taskers, you don’t really get much done.

In this case, become a mono-tasker. Put your attention on a particular task at hand, complete it and then move on to the next.

Or if there’s a case where you need to do a couple of tasks at the same time which are slightly different at the same time, then put a timer for say 15-20 minutes or for however long it’s going to take for each task and during that time, just focus on that particular task.

The third practice that you can use in order to master the skill of mindfulness is to simply let go of judgments. And here what I mean is, you know, don’t always judge others. Don’t judge yourself. Try to keep a clean perception of things.

Don’t add to a situation or put in an interpretation. You may be right, you may be wrong. But the point is this, that a mindful person actually observes what is and then accepts the reality. They don’t start judging or putting or looking at a situation with rose colored lenses.

And then, the last one is, to live in the present. What it means is that stop living in the past, stop every time something good is happening to you in the present, stop thinking about what happened in the past.

Stop trying to think of what’s going to happen in the future. Don’t start future pacing thinking oh my God, I’ve done this now something’s going to go wrong or something ‘this will happen, something that will happen’.

It doesn’t work like that. Live in the present, enjoy the moment. If you’re out in the garden, just look up at the sky, enjoy that clear blue sky. You see a bird on a branch, enjoy that. Live in the present.

And if you’re in the company of people, be with them, be with them in the moment. You’re with your little dog wants to play, play with that dog. It will help you to develop your skill of mindfulness and to become more aware of things that might miss you otherwise.

And that is something that I myself had discovered during the lockdown last year when Miss Coco and I used to go to the garden in the afternoons. Now we were doing Nature Walking Meditation. I’ll share a link to that practice with you.

But when the two of us used to be sitting in the garden and the whole world was in lockdown we were actually able to hear the chirping of the birds. We actually noticed a couple of squirrels playing tag near us. We used to enjoy the breeze.

We were present in the moment and those are memories that are priceless. I cannot even articulate and tell you how good those memories were. But we enjoyed our moment of mindfulness and it was a kind of meditation.

So, now that I’ve shared the 9 ways that you can actually master the skill of mindfulness without meditating, what about if you suddenly decide, that Vatsala, I would like to meditate but how do I make it easier?

How to make Meditation easier

Now here are my 3 tips for you, especially if you’re a beginner.

The first is keep it brief.

You don’t have to sit for 20 minutes doing Transcendental Meditation or 20-15 minutes or half an hour doing any kind of meditation. Keep it brief and then build it up.

Sometimes just sitting quietly for a minute or 2 minutes, you know, in your self, ignoring the outside world and just listening to your own mind, that helps you to build up the concept of, practice of meditation.

And as you feel more confident and don’t get distracted, build it up to longer periods of time.

The other way that I would suggest is to walk and stretch.

Now not all meditation involves sitting with your fingers in different mudras poses and your chanting away. Now I had already mentioned the Nature Walking Meditation to you.

Sometimes simply walking is a form of meditation. The thing is that then focus on the walking. Be aware of the movement or even if you’re in the house pottering about, just engross yourself in that activity. That too is a form of meditation.

Doing gardening is a form of meditation. What is more required is that you’re completely focused on the object on which you’re working and to the exclusion of all others.

Need more ideas? Read this post on exercising for health here.

And then also manage stress.

Now there are various ways that you can try to manage stress. Normally you might find that if you do sit down to meditate, that instead of reaching the stillness of the mind, all sorts of crazy thoughts start to come out.

And this is going to happen because as you go deeper, things that are buried in your subconsciousness are going to start floating above. And what I suggest is, acknowledge the thing and let it go.

Don’t distract yourself by starting to think about what is and what isn’t and what you have to do. At that moment just focus on going deeper and acknowledge it, whatever issue is coming up and let it go for the time being and you can always deal with it later.

And if you want more exercises to help you build up your mindfulness practice, then I offer you Karmic Ally Coaching’s Stress Management with Chakra Balancing Exercises.

A link is given below in which I’m going to show you different exercises that you can do for each Chakra.

There are also some meditations which do not require you to meditate with the mindfulness meditation and I have these one minute tools that help you to manage your stress which in themselves become mini meditations.

And of course they help you build up your mindfulness. And along with that, there are 3 bonuses. There’s the Chakra Chart, in case you’re really interested in pursuing more information about Chakras.

I also have a little ebook with the gemstones and crystals for chakra meditation and also simple stress relief magic which is hidden in your fingers.

And that will also help you with mindfulness though it doesn’t require you to sit down and meditate.

So my final words to you are that you don’t really have to miss out on the benefits of mindfulness just because you’re uncomfortable sitting for long periods or troubled by disturbing thoughts.

It all comes down to developing your ability to focus and absorb what’s going on around you from a heightened sense of awareness to improve clarity and your decision making skills.

And now, I have a question for you and I would love to have you answer it in the comments.

The question is, which method will you try first? Will it be one or will you give all of them a shot and see which one works for you. Let me know. So that’s all from me.

This is Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching signing off. See you next time. Bye for now.

Among the many important lessons, I learned during my career in corporate finance was staying calm during chaos if one wanted to stay productive and meet deadlines without going into a flat line.

One of the worst memories I have is of the time when the insurance company I was working in introduced both a new accounting system and an insurance module system. It was supposed to make our life easier, but the insurance modules would crash without notice.

It’s another thing that we learned later that the vendor had over-promised. Our company which was to run the initial model which would then be transferred across the regional offices was their guinea pig!

Of course, they had to fix it which they did but the crashes always happened around monthly reporting. The quarterly reports were a nightmare.

If you want to know what chaos means, that was what my team and I were living.

It wasn’t just bookkeeping.

We had to make sure all premiums were accounted for; all claims were settled and avoid the embarrassing situation of not paying our vendors on time. Worse yet, the banking module doing a double payment.

When the crash happened, we would go back to a previous backup and then manually redo all the work we had done. Our head of Information Technology started making backups every 3 hours to help us – normally 2 backups a day should have sufficed.

As the Finance Director of that company, I had to work with the vendor and somehow keeping the morale of my department up. Even when I would have preferred hiding my head in the sand like an ostrich.

It was a battle between us and Chaos and who would win it.

Memory is a strange thing.

It takes 1 little incident to remind us of what had happened earlier and to draw from our experience in order to cope with the new crisis.

In my case it was waking up one fine Monday morning to find the apartment had been flooded with water. The carpets were drenched, there was water in the living room and the bulk of it had collected in the kitchen.

The plumber came to see it and it turned out the leakage wasn’t in our pipes but those of our neighbor’s and their apartment was in a worse situation.

My poor neighbors were profusely apologetic and offered to get the carpet cleaned and all sorts of things. They didn’t need to do anything other than get the burst pipe fixed and call us if they had a repeat so I could be better prepared.

I’ve always believed that if I can get my Monday off to a good start then the rest of the week will go well.

My Monday wasn’t off to such a good start, but I could still get a handle of it if I wanted to.

So, after I finished getting the home back to a semblance of normalcy, I decided to take control of my day and get some calm back into it.

I stayed off social media, didn’t watch the news and reduced interactions with difficult people as much as possible.

Instead I focused on my energy and what I wanted to achieve during the week.

It’s my normal way of reclaiming my power over myself and balancing my energies using my favourite chakra balancing exercises.

My Blanchard Quadrants too came into play – if it wasn’t urgent or important or I didn’t have to do it or want to do it, the task was shifted to the next day or later for the week.

You see, no matter what is happening in your life and around you, the only thing you can control is yourself.

When others are stressed out, when chaos abounds all around you, you can manage your response and how you allow this out-of-control environment to affect you.

You can learn to be calm in the storm and remain productive despite chaotic conditions.

Not sure how?

Follow these 5 simple steps to learn to stay calm and be productive during the most challenging of times.

I learned it during my computer system crash days and can say with conviction that it works.

Step 1. Get your Stress under Control

You can’t remain productive and calm if you, too, are stressed out and feeling full of chaos. Learning to manage your personal stress and find ways to lower it when it is high are essential.

Deep breathing exercises are quite useful. Many people like to meditate to reduce stress. Going for a short walk can also help.

One of my favorite ways to do this is to gently tap my heart with my left hand fingers, breathe deeply and affirm ‘All is well’.

Find techniques that you can practice wherever you may be and use them often when things start to feel chaotic.

Getting your own stress under control means you are more likely to handle whatever comes your way productively.

Step 2. Focus on what you can control

In many situations, things feel crazy and chaotic because there is much that is outside of your personal control. To stay productive, you must focus only on that which is firmly within your influence.

Everything else is going to happen no matter what you do. But the things you can control are where you can make a difference.

So when we started having the system crashes, I discussed the matter with our Country Manager and the Head of IT and we decided to increase the number of backups and also set up a protocol system to discover where and when the crashes were taking place so we could reduce business disruption.

When you recognize that something is outside your power, let it go and move on.

Learning to focus on what you can change and ignoring the rest is a helpful strategy when things seem to be a little chaotic.

Step 3. Use your Resilience

The best trait you can cultivate for learning to stay calm amid turmoil is resilience. Resilience is your ability to adapt to stressful situations and bounce back from obstacles, setbacks, and unexpected outcomes.

Resilience is made from many traits and skills that you can practice and hone.

Here are just a few ways to develop your resilience.

• Learn to rely on your strengths.
• Connect with positive people around you to help you through challenging situations. Support is vital in all difficulties.
• Focus on solving the problem. The energy you spend on complaining, bemoaning your circumstances, and blaming others are not energy well spent. What can you do right now to solve the problem? Do that?
• Get perspective. Place the problem in the context of reality, focusing on its real significance in the grand scheme. This gives you the ability to focus on what is essential right now.
• Remain positive in your ability to make a difference and solve the problem. A positive mindset is crucial during challenging times.

For more tips, check out my presentation.

Step 4. Look for the Lessons in Every Situation

There is always something you can learn, even from the most chaotic of times. You can find many opportunities for growth if you have the right mindset.

I saw that in play when we used to have the crashes. My boss, the Country Manager would reframe the incident as a learning lesson. It was also a hands on lesson on Emotional Intelligence.

It’s a tool I value even today because difficulties give us an opportunity to exercise our focus and determination. During trying times we need to concentrate on maintaining a calm soul and conquer the challenges that face us.

Avoid being reactive to difficult situations that catch you off guard. You can choose to take the higher road.

Even if keeping calm is the least natural approach for you, develop the will to overcome the tough situation and learn from it.

What I realized back then and which serves me even now is that giving in to negativity only serves to worsen any situation – system crashes, floods from next door or anything awful that you can imagine to throw your work and life into a tizzy.

Instead, focus on overcoming the challenge at hand by counteracting negativity with positivity and peace.

Handle trying times by acting from a place of calm reasoning. When the soul is calm, we are able to think things through. By rejecting unease at our core, we make smart choices that produce finer results.

See the value in all your life experiences. Even obstacles become worthwhile and meaningful when seen in this light.

Step 5. Be Grateful for What is Good in Your Life

Remaining calm and productive when everything seems out of control can be hard. To keep an optimistic outlook and remain composed, think of those things that are really working in your life.

Studies have shown that the practice of gratitude is linked to our levels of happiness and contentment.

Gratitude is like magic! The more grateful you are the happier and the more content you become.

The book, “The Magic,” by Rhonda Byrne, author of “The Secret,” takes you through a step-by-step and 28-day formula for bringing more gratitude into your life.

Gratitude can truly transform your life, from one of misery and discontent to one of deep satisfaction and joy.

Ancient yogis knew about the secret power of gratitude: The yoga sutras speak of how being aware of and being grateful for the abundance of life and the flow of life that is all around us, opens the way for more streams of abundance to come to us.

When we focus on what we are grateful for, we get more of it. “That which you focus on grows,” according to mindfulness practitioners.

Therefore, when you focus on what you lack, you block the flow of unlimited potential, which exists in the universe.

When you focus on what you are grateful for, you open your heart to the infinite abundance, which is available to each one of us.

So, the days when the system didn’t crash at work, I was grateful for it and the gaps between the crashes started to increase.

As for the water made Monday disaster, the funny thing is, the minute I started to be grateful for all the things that didn’t get damaged and added to my gratitude list, the day went better and funnily enough, it was a productive Monday too!

Here are 2 simple daily practices I recommend building gratitude into your life:

• Keep a gratitude journal. At the end of each day, write down in your journal five things that happened in your day that you are grateful for.
• Carry a gratitude stone in your pocket. Find a rock or gemstone which appeals to you and put it in your pocket. Each time you touch the stone, remember the feeling of gratitude and something you are truly grateful for.

Make gratitude part of your daily practice for one month and notice the benefits. You will feel happier, more joyful, centered, and content. Being grateful truly works like a miracle and can transform the way you view the world.

The secret to an abundant life is all in how you view it. Even when something happens that hurts, there is a gift and a blessing to be found in the experience. If only you are open to seeing what it is!

Count your blessings and acknowledge your gratitude. This will help you place the chaos into perspective, as well.

Where will you focus your energy this week?

Additional Resource for staying calm and building your resilience to stress

If you’re looking for stress busting exercises that also build your resilience and sense of calm, then check out my Stress Management Bundle.

It has all my favorite Chakra balancing exercises, 1 Minute techniques to raise your vibration and attract what you want instead of what you want to get rid of, using your voice to reduce stress levels (I don’t mean shouting though) + some cool bonus resources.

How does a report on using crystals and gemstones for Chakra Meditation, a complete Chakra Chart and using the magic in your finger for immediate stress relief sound to you?

Good?

Then click here or the below image to learn more and download your bundle.

Update: 13 July 2024 – Overcoming Corporate Burnout

Too much of anything is bad for your mental, physical and emotional well-being.

That holds for stress and even chaotic workplaces.

The World Health Organization classifies burnout as a “syndrome” that is caused by “chronic workplace stress.”

Burnout is described as an “occupational phenomenon,” that can lead to serious physical and mental health concerns.

Corporate burnout is a growing issue that affects professionals across industries, leading to decreased productivity, compromised health, and diminished job satisfaction.

In “Overcoming Corporate Burnout,” you’ll discover practical strategies and actionable steps to reclaim your vitality and reignite your passion for your work. This concise, insightful guide is designed specifically for busy professionals who need quick yet effective solutions to manage stress and prevent burnout.

It’s been written by a professional who’s had to face burnout and survived.

Now it’s your turn to learn the basics to prevent burnout and start your road to recovery if you’re already experiencing burnout. Learn more here or by clicking on the book cover below.

I’m of the firm belief that professionals who master the skill of Intuition demonstrate higher levels of Emotional Intelligence.

Back in the days when I worked in the Insurance industry in Poland, my boss the Managing Director of our company was always able to predict how our insurance agents or clients would react when it came to difficult claims.

He knew how to get our annual budgets not only passed by Headquarters, but also get us more in the region spend.

This was around the time that Daniel Goleman published his bestselling book Emotional Intelligence: Why It can Matter More than IQ. We in the office didn’t know about it yet because it took time for us to get the latest books in Poland.

Instead, the entire office thought he was a psychic, possessed ESP and a whole lot of other attributes! We were in complete awe of him and he was our Hero.

If you look back at your professional career, you’ll realize that there will be at least 1 occasion when a manager or colleague has come up with a crisis management solution that saved the day.

When asked how they found the solution, they’d have put it down to a gut feeling or something telling them ‘this might just work’.

Actually, it was their skill of intuition at play. Rationalizing the ‘out of the box’ solution using logic came later.

If you think about it, in today’s world, you might say they possessed a strong Emotional Quotient too.

In my post Emotional Intelligence: you need to apply authentic kind of Empathy, I covered how the skill of empathy affected the domains of Social Awareness and Relationship Management

In this post, let’s explore Intuition as a skill for demonstrating Self Awareness and Self-Management.

Karmic Ally Coaching’s Quick Guide to Intuition

In simple English, Intuition is a form of instinctive knowing without the use of reasoning processes. It’s a natural ability that all people can develop and enhance.

Quite often people misunderstand intuition as being a power possessed through metaphysical techniques and meditation. While I have shown how to develop this skill in my post Are Psychic Powers Really a Fringe Benefit of Meditation?, there is more to it.

Intuition is one way our brain communicates with our conscious mind by subtle means such as Thoughts, Feelings, Sensations, Imagery and Sounds or various combinations of these.

Intuition appears to be a function of both our head and our heart and can involve any part of our body as it attempts to guide and direct our thoughts. Some people feel it in their solar plexus or gut. Others can feel a tingling sensation followed by an out of the blue thought.

Once you have an awareness of the forms of language your subconscious is using you can practice tuning in. Your strongest signals from intuition will come when you’re feeling calm and relaxed. This is why a daily practice of meditation, prayer or any other ritual that helps relax the mind is essential.

Intuition should flow naturally and easily without any struggle between the ‘brain’ and ‘heart’ and is devoid of emotion.

The emotion part is important because if you are experiencing an emotion, then it isn’t your intuition that is being engaged but your monkey mind chatter or fear that is talking.

This table gives a quick comparison of how to differentiate between the two.

Intuition is the secret weapon to improve Emotional Intelligence

Now that we understand intuition, how does it fit into demonstrating emotional intelligence?

When we look at Goleman’s definition of Emotional Intelligence

“Understanding one’s own feelings, empathy for the feelings of others and the regulation of emotions in a way that enhances living”,

the role of intuition becomes apparent. There are times when as professionals who provide a service, we simply have to go with our gut feeling, stay in control of our emotions and read other people the right way to create a viable resolution in a timely manner.

Looking at the domains of Self Awareness and Self -Management, the key skills are Know Yourself, Manage your emotions and motivate yourself.

Knowing oneself means understanding how you feel and accurately assessing your state of mind while self –management requires the skills to control our emotions and our behavioral tendencies.

It means not listening to or being controlled by fear. Instead rely on our observations to handle situations from a place of calm without letting our emotions get the better of us.

Interestingly, the very actions that can help us demonstrate emotional intelligence are the same ones that strengthen our intuition!

The intuition that we discussed earlier is basic intuition whereas in fact, according to William Duggan, author of “Strategic Intuition: The Creative Spark in Human Achievement,” there are three levels of intuition: basic, expert and strategic.

Basic intuition is the commonly known “gut instinct.” Expert intuition is a snap judgment, similar to what happens when you recognize something you’re familiar with. Strategic intuition is a clear thought.

All 3 types of intuition have the same feeder of experiencing the world around us. The information that we feed our sub-conscious mind allows our intuition to work out the best solution even when we cannot explain it rationally.

In the case of my boss who displayed a high Emotional Quotient (he never got upset even when the rest of us experienced headless chicken moments) he definitely applied expert and strategic intuition as the situation required.

I go into greater detail on how to improve your EI score with specific exercises to improve scores for these 2 domains in my mini-course Emotional Intelligence – the Basics.

For the purposes of starting our journey to improve our basic intuitive skills, I recommend the Quick Coherence Technique from the HeartMath Institute that helps to tie the heart and brain together while strengthening our Intuition Muscle.

This short video shows an easy way to practice the Quick Coherence Technique.

I encourage you to practice utilizing your intuitive powers. After a short time you may be surprised just what your intuition tells you.

Improving how we use our intuition takes practice. It may help you to begin by acknowledging how you already use it.

How many decisions or choices do you currently make with minimal rational thought? Can you name three from your experience?

In my early career days, I often found myself being loaded with extra tasks because my boss knew I would deliver. I had the reputation of being reliable, organized and a lot of other nice attributes but I felt overwhelmed at times and experienced work overload.

When I cribbed about it to my father, he told me I had to be more assertive and find ways to manage my work overload if required.

Then he shared a quote Benjamin Franklin is reported to have said that has stayed in my mind, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.”

There are always those times in the workplace when urgent and important tasks need to be completed which can overwhelm even the most efficient and effective employee.

This doesn’t necessarily need to be at the year-end but there are those seasons and days when it all comes to a head.

Here’s a 4 step approach to  effectively reduce stress, overwhelm and even avoid burnout

Overworked and overwhelmed

Take Stock of the Situation & Prioritize

Instead of going headless chicken, take stock of the situation and see if the workload can be lessened in order to give you the breathing space to concentrate on the most important task at hand.

The first step would be to find the time, preferably outside of the workplace and start making a list of all the tasks that need to be done and the stretch deadlines in free flow writing. Then mark them by numbering in terms of priority. Sometimes, simply putting things down in writing provides the required clarity and eliminates possible panic attacks.

My post, 5 tips to manage Time Targets will also help.

Delegate effectively

Once that is done, start looking at which tasks can be delegated based on the resources available to you at the office. Consider the competencies of your team members and write their names against it. Since there are deadlines, other people may also be busy and I suggest noting down, if possible, names of two colleagues whom you may ask. Do remember that the ultimate responsibility still rests with you.

If you find that your own tasks even after possible delegation is still overwhelming then consider asking your manager or immediate superior for help in prioritizing those tasks. Armed with your list, make your appointment with them to engage their assistance.  Since the higher reporting rests with your supervisor, they are in a better position to further streamline the priorities to enable your workload to become more manageable.

No boss under the sun likes unpleasant surprises and by showing your commitment with your action plan you maintain your credibility and commitment. Make sure to take notes during your meeting so that you have evidence of the agreed plan of action if required later.

Build Self-Management into your daily routine

Self-management too is an area to work on to handle stress and time pressure adequately. When planning your day, make sure that you build in some ‘me time’ as well and engage in activities that help you to relax and wind down. Depending upon your personal preferences, this could include going to the gym, power walking or less high impact exercises including yoga and Pilates. Make sure that your family life is not compromised and make sure that you spend time with them. Eat sensibly and get the right amount of sleep.

Learn the art of saying ‘No’

This is one area which many of my clients find challenging. Learn to say no to those activities that are not high up in your priority list or just eat up time without any benefit.

It means establishing personal boundaries.

The bottom line is engage in activities that work for you. There may of course be times when your saying No can affect an entire process or project. So use this skill with discretion.

To sum up, while pressure and stress cannot be eliminated completely, taking steps to action areas that are within our control can help to mitigate their impact on our lives and our health.

How do you handle situations of work overload in your office? Are there any strategies or tips that you can share with me and other readers?

PS. Think you might be heading for a burnout? If yes, then I suggest you try the Burnout Self Test. This simple self-assessment will point you in the right direction along with strategies that you can starting implementing immediately. Like the saying goes, “A stitch in time saves nine”.

Do you believe you might have burnout?

Then Karmic Ally Coaching’s Burnout Self-Test is meant for you.

It will give you a no-obligation peek into the Karmic Ally Coaching experience. This test is used in the Effective Stress Management and Career Coaching Signature Program.

Gift yourself an insight into your stress levels by completing the form and we will take it from there!

In addition to the Self-Test, you will also get tips to take immediate action. A total value of $27 gratis!

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Written By: Vatsala Shukla

This post was originally written in June 2012 and has been updated in May 2018 for relevance and new resources for the reader.

I celebrated Diwali in its full splendour for the first time at the age of 8 when my diplomat father had his first home posting in New Delhi.

As I write this post, memories come flooding back of white sugar candy elephants, camels and tigers; sweets, new clothes, firecrackers and lighting of diyas (clay lamps) and coloured candles.

I met my paternal cousins for the first time as 3 brothers and their families congregated at my Delhi-based Uncle’s home. The house was filled with the sound of happy children squealing with joy as our parents lit various firecrackers for us.

Unlike the commercialization of Diwali that I see nowadays, there was a sense of community back then. We had a few firecrackers of course but the main event was lighting diyas, dressing up in new clothes, giving gifts and a hearty family meal.

Having a family elder read from the Ramayana and learning lessons from this Hindu mythological epic was part of the celebrations.

On Diwali night, little clay lamps are lit in Hindu homes although nowadays coloured electric lamps are also used. The lighting of lamps is a way of paying obeisance to god for attainment of health, wealth, knowledge, peace, valor and fame.

In Hinduism, darkness represents ignorance, and light is a metaphor for knowledge. Therefore, lighting a lamp symbolizes the destruction, through knowledge, of all negative forces.

Diwali celebrates Lord Rama’s return from his Hero Journey

From the mythological perspective, Diwali is the day Lord Rama’s 14 year exile ended and he returned to Ayodhya with his wife Sita and brother Lakshman having vanquished Ravana the Demon King of Lanka.

A much-loved Crown Prince, he was unjustly sent into exile on the day of his coronation. One of the King’s wives (a former warrior princess) decided to call in a boon the King had granted her years earlier when she had sacrificed her finger to keep her husband’s chariot wheel from falling off during a battle.

She asked for Rama to be sent into exile in the forests and her son Bharat to ascend the throne as King instead.

Lord Rama, the dutiful son agreed so that his father could honour his word. His wife Sita and brother Lakshman decided to join him in exile.

The aged King Dasharatha died pining for his beloved son. Bharat came after Rama begging him to return. He served as a caretaker King while he waited for his elder brother to return.

We see intrigue and power grabbing plays even today, whether it’s in politics or in the workplace.

14 years later, the much-awaited day for Lord Rama’s return came and the entire kingdom was happy.

The return happened on an Amavasi or No- Moon night. Knowing the sky would be dark, the people of Ayodhya lit diyas to light the way home as Lord Ram flew into the city in Ravana’s Pushpak Viman (a flying machine).

Ramayana is the story of Rama’s Hero Journey as told by the Sage Valmiki. The story also has teachings and lessons relevant to our modern day lives.

If you aren’t conversant with the Ramayana, here is a video I found from AppuSeries that tells the story in a nutshell.

As the years have gone by, my understanding of the Ramayana has evolved as I find new facets and lessons in Lord Rama’s Hero Journey.

Here are 3 of them that are relevant to life and work and what we can expect during our own Hero Journey.

Circumstances arise and events take place leading us to answer our Call to Adventure

As a child I thought Queen Kaikeyi who came under the influence of her maid and asked for the boon was wicked to send Lord Rama into exile where he spent his time killing demons that were troubling the sages and playing havoc during rituals and prayers.

Then he had to save his wife who was kidnapped by Ravana to avenge Lakshman’s cutting off Ravana’s sister’s nose.

Rama and Lakshman ended up roaming in the forest looking for Sita and found their way to Lanka spending quite a few years of their exile preparing a bridge from India to Lanka in order to rescue Sita.

This bridge known as Ram Setu can be seen by satellite and even though water now flows above it, way back in 2004, I read that this underwater structure helped in mitigating even more damage from the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami.

When I look at the story now, Rama, who is an avatar of Lord Vishnu, was sent to earth to vanquish Ravana, a highly talented and erudite man.

Ravana built his capital city with gold, managed to capture the planets and trap them face down near his throne when he discovered that his beloved son was born with inauspicious planetary afflictions. He is supposed to have built a staircase to the moon.

He was also a great devotee of Shiva and had received the boon of immortality with a caveat that could cause his death.

Somewhere along the way he had become arrogant and harassed everyone – the planets, sages, the Gods and Vishnu had to come and put a stop to it.

Come to think of it, Destiny was at play here and if Kaikeyi had not asked for her boon, Rama and Sita would have stayed in Ayodhya and Ravana would have continued tormenting everyone.

The Ramayana would never have been written because there wouldn’t have been a Hero’s Journey to narrate because Rama, Sita, Lakshman and Hanuman who are avatars of Vishnu, Lakshmi, Sheshnag and Shiva respectively would not have fulfilled their Life Purpose!

The ever-dutiful Rama accepts his exile even though it is unfair. He honours the Warrior Code by protecting the Sages who are harassed by the Demons. The final straw on the camel’s back in the form of Sita’s abduction ignites the Call to Adventure and fulfilling his destiny.

The scene is set in the forests and one event after the other leads to the great battle where Ravana is killed. The significance of the triumph of good over evil is established on Dusshera Day and then the journey home on Diwali.

Qualities that a Hero needs are evident long before he gets his Wake Up Call

We all possess qualities that lie dormant until an event takes place that brings those qualities to the fore when they are really needed.

Early in the Ramayana, we learn about Sita’s Swayamvara where she chooses her husband from the mightiest warriors of the land. Her father, King Janak wants only the best for his beloved daughter. The test is to lift the heavy bow of Lord Shiva which is in his possession.

Many kings try and fail but young Rama, not only lifts the bow but breaks it, thus revealing his superhuman powers. He is an avatar of Vishnu and the qualities of confidence, courage, fortitude and strength are important during his Call to Adventure.

When you accept your Call to Adventure, helpers and Guides appear as required with required Tools and Knowledge

We don’t have just one Hero’s Journey during a lifetime but many whenever transformation is required.

Think about it, whenever you’ve faced a major challenge, haven’t new friends appeared who helped you find a resolution to your challenge?

Similarly while Lord Rama and Lakshman searched the forest for Sita, they met with Sugriva, King of the Monkeys who too is in exile and in many ways he too needs help to regain his kingdom and wife.

Rama and Lakshman help him and in return he offers his army to help rescue Sita.

The most important help comes from the son of the Wind God, Hanuman who is also the avatar of Lord Shiva.

Hanuman is mighty and a much revered God in his own right to whom Hindus pray for help in many situations. He can solve any problem.

In the Ramayana, he is the Helper who leaps across the ocean and reaches Sita.

He is perfectly capable of rescuing Sita and bringing her back to Ram. Sita stops him because she knows it is Rama’s duty to rescue his wife. This is another instance of destiny bringing Ram nearer to his true purpose.

To digress a little, Hanuman’s Day of worship is Tuesday. In the Ramayana, after meeting Sita, Hanuman allowed himself to be captured by Ravana’s soldiers.

Thinking he was an ordinary monkey the Court decided to burn his tail for amusement. Just before they could do it, Hanuman flipped his tail at the throne managing to turn Shani’s face upward.

Once Shani or Saturn as we call him was able to look up, his powers returned, and Ravana’s time of doom start. Hanuman changed his size and lit up Lanka with his fire lit tail!

Shani was grateful to Hanuman and decreed his worship to be also done on Saturdays.

There are other instances in the Ramayana where Hanuman saves the day helping Rama with his cause even though he can take care of it himself.

One of the most important Allies in the epic comes in the form of Vibheeshana, Ravana’s brother, who is banished because he advises Ravana to give back Rama’s wife.

It is Vibheeshana who shares secrets of how to handle Ravana’s army and the biggest secret of where Ravana’s life source lies. This enables Rama to finally kill him.

On the auspicious occasion of Diwali, I’d like you to reflect on your own life and the challenges that you have faced.

Have you noticed how circumstances have led to the change that was required, that you discovered you really had the skills to overcome the challenge and help arrived just as you hit rock bottom?

If you want to take a deeper dive into your Hero Journey, check out my book Wakeup Call: What Happens When You Accept Your Call to Adventure.

A disconnect with one’s Inner Self is often a reason we experience low self-confidence.

Problems with self confidence & self esteem are often maintained by habitual patterns of thought, created in childhood or adolescence.

Our minds tend to look for validation of our views and opinions and once a thought takes firm hold of our mind, we’re normally looking for examples to validate our opinion.

Sometimes, incidents in later adult life too can shake up one’s self confidence.

It’s not uncommon for people who’ve had a car accident to lose their nerve to drive again. That is why it’s advised to get behind the steering wheel as soon as possible.

You don’t want to lose self-confidence.

It happened to me many years ago when I was driving along the Corniche in Doha and my driver side front tyre burst. The car went into a tailspin and while I did manage to stop the car in time, I was shaken.

No harm was done to me although the vehicle needed to go to the garage. After the shock wore off, I didn’t want to drive again.

Suddenly my mind was focused on driving accident statistics. I believe I’d never have driven again had I not had the support of my parents and the doctor who told my parents I needed to drive as soon as possible.

So until the car came back, my Dad used to drive me to work on the same route and even though I felt a panic attack I learned to control it.

When the car came back from the garage, I drove it at the ridiculous speed of 20 km/hour the first time on that very route with my Dad and his driver following up from behind.

Then I realized my car and I were okay and picked up the speed worthy of a Honda Prelude. I’d regained my confidence.

Avoid the Self-Criticism Trap

Are you too Self-Critical? You could be draining your confidence and need to do some introspecting.

Introspection teaches us a lot about ourselves. It helps us see we aren’t perfect and give us the right balance of doing what is right and doing whatever we want, no matter the circumstance.

People who aren’t introspective often blame others for all problems, even when it’s their fault.

But here’s something you need to know. Don’t overdo it to the point where you’re knocking yourself down. That completely defeats the purpose of confidence building.

You need to find the right balance of learning about yourself and keeping up your self-esteem.

Always evaluate every situation you find yourself involved with. Don’t make assumptions as they can be wrong, without the right information.

You want to make sure that you have covered all the basis before making any determinations.

You want to eliminate any possibility that you are the cause of any negative situations. If you are, own up to it and try to make the situation right.

Don’t just take the blame for everything.

If you discover that you are not the cause, then speak up and let that be known.

Self-critical people will tend to blame themselves automatically. This can bring down your spirits over time.

It’s okay to help others when they are the responsible party. When you do this, they will be more willing to help you when you are at fault.

It’s important to pick your battles, too. If you find something minor that came up, you may want to let it go. Sometimes, it can even be worth taking the fall for these minor situations. It won’t have much impact, and by doing this, you can help everyone involved to move forward.

If you take the fall for major things, however, you are setting up to make the situation worse. The person who is truly responsible will continue to act in a detrimental way because you let them get away with it.

If you are taking the blame for everything, it’s time to stop. It’s not helping, and you may not be able to reverse what people believe about you. Many people do this to keep the peace, but in the end, it’s not good for anyone.

Responsible parties need to take responsibility, and the only way that will happen is to stand up to the culprits. By doing so, you will gain more confidence and make each of these situations right.

Make your Inner Self your Ally for Confidence

Have you been falling into the Self-Criticism Trap?

If you find you’re often putting yourself down, blowing problems out of proportion or ‘preparing to fail’, then quite possibly, you have lost touch with your inner self or inner power.

It is this inner self or inner power where your confidence comes from.  It is not your relationship with others – as a parent, child, spouse, friend or colleague; or what you do for a living that defines who you are, these are simply the things that you do.

The person you are is the very essence of your being. Your inner power, which can also be called, your Higher Self, is all knowing and wise.

3 Ways to Connect with your Inner Self

The Higher Self communicates with us through intuition and the best way to boost your self confidence is to reconnect with it.

Meditation will not only help you develop your intuition, it will also help you make better decisions which in turn will boost your confidence.

Studies have shown that people who undergo meditation on a regular basis find their capacities to make decisions actually improves.

Science has an explanation for this. The more frequently we meditate, the more folding is experienced by the brain’s cortex.

This process is known as gyrification, and it provides our brains with a larger mass so that we can make better choices with a lot more precision and accuracy.

In choosing to meditate on a regular basis, you gain the ability to view situations with objectivity.

You strengthen your ability to respond to situations with a level head and avoid making choices you’ll regret out of fear, anger, or any other reaction that might creep up without careful analysis first.

Meditation will provide anybody with the ability to adapt to whatever circumstances come their way and remain confident and forgiving even when mistakes are made.

Overall, the benefits that meditation has on the brain are exceptionally well suited to anybody.

If you’re in a leadership position and would like to be able to lead by a calm, firm example and make choices without being too impulsive or reactive, then practicing meditation regularly can help your brain to make that balance possible in your life.

Your team will see the difference right away and likely feel compelled to do their best for a leader who exudes confidence and calm.

Meditation has some incredible benefits, not only for yourself, but for those around you as well, so why not give it a try?

You can learn a simple technique for meditation in this post.

Journaling for Self-Discovery

Journaling has become a popular form of self-discovery; helping people to identify what they want and more importantly – how to get it.

Through regular journaling you can discover more about yourself and your goals than you ever thought possible.

One of the main ways journaling helps with self-discovery, is it enables you to identify with your inner thoughts and feelings.

Understanding yourself is key to living a happy, more fulfilled life.

Journals allow you to write freely and openly. You’re free from judgment, which means you’ll often write straight from the heart and uncover things about yourself you never even realized.

Not only does this help you to identify with how you feel, but it also gives you the opportunity to see how you can potentially change your emotional reactions.

Giving you more control over your thoughts and feelings enables you to shut out any negativity and focus purely on the positive – helping you to live a happier life.

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Reconnect with Mother Nature

Sit in an outdoor environment, embrace the sounds of nature, allowing your thoughts to come and go as you enjoy nature.

Watch this short video for the tip and if you want to learn the technique, click here for Nature Walking Meditation.

All these techniques will enable you to connect with yourself rather than letting the world do your connecting.

In touch with your Inner Self, you will have greater clarity of who you really are.

Want to learn more about Self Confidence? My Kindle book Self-Confidence in 8 Steps is a good starting point.

This post was originally published in November 2011 and has been updated for relevance.