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Birthdays and year ends seem to be the time when we begin to feel something is missing in our lives. It’s like you’ve ventured into the forest in search of a pot of honey but got your foot stuck in a vicious bear trap.

Its normal (not the bear trap part of course) for us to start focusing on what we still need to achieve.

The not so normal part is when we go into doom and gloom and think of what’s wrong without considering what we got right and spiral further into a self-defeating frame of mind.

What thoughts are occupying your mind right now?

Do you feel like there is something holding you back in your life, but you aren’t quite sure what it is?

Do you go to bed some nights and wonder why you did that thing or said those words and wonder how you can change some bad habits you have?

Do you have a big dream, but are finding it hard to make progress toward it?

Your attitude and mindset may be what is holding you back in life.

A mindset is the mental attitude you adopt which dictates how you will or will not perceive, react and respond to situations.

Why is it important?

Your mindset can and will determine your life from academics to career and beyond.

Your mindset controls your behaviors and choices, and the wrong mentality can leave you feeling frustrated, worried, and like you always need to prove yourself to the world.

One way to understand the impact of your mindset on your life, career and chances of achieving your goals is to see how you compare yourself with others.

While it’s not advisable to engage in Comparisonitis, it’s true that this comparison can give us a benchmark to gauge our success or failure and hence a measure of where we can improve and achieve more.

It’s what we do with the data and knowledge gained from the comparison that makes the difference.

A person with a fixed mindset will indulge in a reverse method of thinking and apply this information to reaffirm their belief that they aren’t as good as the other person, highlight their own failures and feel they are not good at all.

Our mind is capable of finding information that will support a belief rather than look at information that proves the contrary. That is where the danger lies.

The Pitfalls of a Fixed Mindset

There are many dangers or drawbacks to applying this type of thinking, and this section will explore these in more detail to help you see how this way of thinking influences your beliefs, behaviours, and choices in life.

Your Mindset makes you avoid taking Risks

When it comes to attaining lofty goals or reaching the pinnacle of your field, you must take risks from time to time.

Risks are what stretch your comfort zone and force you to dare to be different, and very little in life can ever be achieved without taking at least some chances now and then.

But many people do not like to take risks because they are too afraid that the consequences will not be favorable. They fear failure.

This fear of things not working out as you planned is born from a fixed mindset.

You choose to not make yourself vulnerable to setbacks because you do not want to be seen as lacking. And because your fixed mindset says that you are born with certain talents and can’t learn and develop new skills, failure represents nothing but adverse outcomes.

The lack of risk-taking behaviors will severely limit your life. You will miss out on new experiences and perspectives, and you will limit your opportunities to achieve your goals and realize your true potential.

Imagine if Thomas Edison had given up his goal of creating an electric bulb or telephone after the first few failures. We’d still be using wax candles and using letters to communicate!

A number of the modern utilities and gadgets that we take for granted are the products of people who were not scared of failure but used it to find the perfect solution.

Get the Karmic Ally Coaching Change Quiz here to see how you respond to risk and change

You feel the need to prove yourself constantly

Those with a fixed way of viewing themselves and the world believe that their abilities, intelligence, character, and other traits are already in place from birth.

If we can’t change in any meaningful way in our lives, then we better have everything we need in place when it comes time to show others who we are and what we can do.

This leads to a need to maintain your image, to project your competence to others, and to always prove your worth and capabilities to those around you.

When you think you can’t change, then it becomes imperative that you continuously demonstrate that you are enough, that you know enough, that you have enough. Otherwise, you would be admitting failure, which is, again, one of the greatest fears of those who think this way.

You restrict your ability to succeed

Research into attitude and mindset has consistently demonstrated that what you believe about yourself will have the most influence on how you lead your life.

Your mindset determines your choices, your beliefs, and your actions.

It is the foundation for everything you do from the time you wake up each day until you go to bed at night. So, when you believe that you are already everything that you can possibly be, why would you get up each day and try hard to succeed?

Your motivation to set lofty goals and work hard to achieve them will be profoundly influenced. Your desire to stick with challenges and push through adversity will also be limited. When you face obstacles, you are more likely to allow these to define you permanently, which will limit your future success.

And because we all experience setbacks from time to time, this means that, at some point, your mindset will stop you in your tracks toward realizing your dream, and you will be unable to progress any further.

You limit your ability to know Yourself

Those who adopt a fixed mindset receive their rewards in life from validation from others and external rewards, which are evidence of their innate talents.

They don’t take the time to understand their motivations or intrinsic reward system, and they lack the ability to self-reflect, which is integral to personal growth.

But it is only through self-awareness and knowledge that you can lead an authentic life and be truly yourself, so without this, you limit your potential and self-actualization.

Those with a fixed mindset depend on others to help determine their self-worth, which can lead to actions that are meant to deceive others or even one’s self from who they are or what they need in life.

Over time, this leads to a lack of fulfillment and a realization that something is missing from your happiness.

It’s one of the reasons I always advise clients and even consults who are not ready to hire a coach to at least practice Louise Hay’s Mirror Work Exercises.

A Fixed Mindset Means You Can’t Become a Different Person

At some point in your life, you are going to wake up and realize that you are ready for a change, that you want to try something new, or become a different version of yourself.

This is the nature of being human. You get tired of your job, your feelings for your spouse change, you want to have children, you decide to go back to school.

This is part of getting older, aging, and changing. But those with a fixed mindset have a tough time seeing a new version of themselves, of taking the chances necessary to make these substantial changes happen. You end up living the same life every day for the rest of your life.

Without the ability to imagine growth and development, you will struggle to consider alternative paths and new goals for yourself.

You will stagnate in your reality and possibly wake up feeling discontented but lack the ability to make the changes necessary to address this.

Without the ability to change your mindset, you cannot change your life.

It creates the need for competition which can turn unhealthy

When you believe that you are born with all the talent and ability you will ever have in life, you tie your identity and your self-worth to your accomplishments. “See, here is evidence of my intelligence or skill. Look at how smart/good I am.”

That means that life becomes about winning and avoiding losing. And when you focus so much on whether or not you are on top, you can end up making some poor decisions related to your desire to win at any cost.

Those who focus solely on proving their abilities to others can end up engaging in destructive, dishonest, and even illegal behaviors in an effort to prove themselves to the world.

You will never experience the level of success you are capable of and truly deserve unless you follow an approach that is on the other side of the spectrum of mindset – a growth mindset.

This mindset reframes the other person’s success as a motivator that enables you to strive harder, do more, and work harder, you re-train your brain to view this not as an excuse to stay status quo, but as a reason to thrive.

When you embrace a growth mindset, you will find that your world is actually full of possibilities, not closed doors.

What is a Growth Mindset?

The term growth mindset was first used by Carol Dweck in her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success in 2006.

As a researcher of personality, motivation, and development, Dweck has studied the role of one’s outlook on success and happiness for many years, and she has determined that we all have a mindset that lies somewhere between two extremes on a continuum.

The growth mindset, as defined by Dweck and embraced by others since its introduction, is when you believe that your talents and strengths can be developed as you age.

This development occurs through work, learning from others, explicit effort, and engaging in practice.

The growth mindset is contrasted with a fixed mindset, in which one believes that your talents are innate to you when you are born and do not evolve much throughout your life.

This understanding of a growth mindset challenges long-held beliefs that you are either born smart or you aren’t, and that gifts and talents are pretty much fixed from birth.

Being growth-oriented is a way to help you identify ways of strengthening your weaknesses, closing gaps in your achievement through intentional effort and overall enabling you to grow as a person in various ways.

Today, the idea of cultivating a growth mindset has been embraced by companies, schools, personal development coaches, and many others as a way to empower people to feel that they have control over their lives and can achieve the goals they set for themselves.

9 Easy Ways to start developing a Growth Mindset

Developing a growth mindset doesn’t happen overnight and requires patience and practice.

Focus on being realistic about how much time and effort it will take to change your mindset. Your beliefs are well ingrained and probably date back from your earliest experiences.

It takes a long time and lots of work to transform these types of beliefs. It IS possible, but it does take time, so be realistic with yourself about what you can accomplish in shorter periods.

Here are my recommended ones to get you started.

#1. Start seeing challenges and obstacles as opportunities. When something difficult or unexpected happens in your life, look for what you can learn from the situation and how it can help you grow as a person. In other words, build your positive reflex.

#2. Stop seeking the approval of other people. When you are always worried about what other people are thinking about you, you are placing their priorities above your own. It does not matter what they believe. Only you must live with the consequences of your choices.

#3. Celebrate the learning and growth of other people. When you look for ways that other people are improving their lives, you start to notice more opportunities within your own. Be happy for people you love who are enhancing their experience, and soon, you will be happy for yourself, as well.

#4. Focus on being your most authentic self. Those who are fixated on proving themselves to others often pretend to be something they are not. When you do this, it diminishes your ability to be you. Focus on living as yourself and allowing others to see the real you. Once you are your authentic self, you can focus on what matters most to you.

#5. Stop fearing failure. Instead of thinking of it as a setback or failure, embrace what you can learn from the experience. Focus on the lessons and the opportunities failure provides instead of what you are missing out on.

#6. Strengthen your self-awareness. The better you know yourself, the more you can use your talents and strengthen your weaknesses. When you are not sure, ask for feedback from those you trust. People have a different perspective than you, and they can help you identify crucial areas for your development and learning.

#7. Watch your language. Pay attention to the words you use with others as well as with yourself. Your vocabulary tells you a lot about your underlying beliefs. Are you using positive, growth-oriented words, or do you still hear negative language? Changing your vocabulary can help improve your mindset, so be sure to really listen to the words you are choosing.

#8. Focus on your purpose. Those with a growth mindset are purpose-driven, so if you don’t’ really know what your purpose is, that’s a wonderful place to start with your personal growth journey. What excites you? What interests you most? What talents do you want to share with the world? The more you focus on what your driving passion is, the easier it will be to stay motivated to learn and grow.

#9. Take more risks. Those who fear failure will avoid taking risks. If you find that you shy away from chance, then, think of small ways you can take risks in your daily life. Try something you have never done before. Make yourself vulnerable to someone. Go somewhere new. The more you push your comfort zone, the easier it will be the next time you want to take a risk.

Changing your mindset takes time and patience, but with consistent practice, you can change how you view yourself and the world, which can lead to more success and happiness for you.

Now is a good time to focus on developing your growth mindset and preparing for success.

Additional Success Resource

Karmic Ally Coaching’s Success Mindset Bundle provides you with the tool to do this. This eBook explores the ins and outs of the growth mindset and how it can enhance your personal development.

It offers strategies and tips for how you can transform your mindset into a more positive, learning-oriented one that expands your possibilities with a planner to record your actions and progress through the year.