Why do highly competent working women sometimes develop issues with bragging about their work? Or take credit for a job well done with pride instead of discomfort?

Is it societal or cultural norms that require demureness, lack of confidence or being labeled aggressive that stops them from even a spot of justified self-promotion?

I feel all of the above apply but from personal experience I believe there is also an element of gender bias in the workplace.

As a trailblazer who became the CFO of a NYSE listed insurance company by the age of 30, it was but natural my work experience would have developed my self-confidence.

I had no issue mentioning my achievements in my resume because I hadn’t been taught otherwise. However, it became a challenge when I returned to India the first time and couldn’t get a job commensurate with my experience.

I had the qualifications and credentials for the vacancy and got the interviews. All went well but I didn’t get the job offer.

My father and I visited a university time friend of his who was highly networked in the corporate world. We wanted to work out where I was going wrong in the Indian job market.

The answer was clear. I was instructed to tone down my resume, hide the very accomplishments that made me a viable candidate and appear less confident in my interviews.

As my Dad’s friend put it, my job was to get the job, not make the male interviewer feel threatened by my accomplishments. I could demonstrate Executive Presence later.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to do that. My Executive Recruiter spoke to a multi-national company Finance Director about me for a vacancy they had mandated.

Unknown to me, she casually mentioned the challenge I was facing.

The Finance Director liked the resume and invited me for an interview. He hired me on the spot for the project that required my skills at a handsome salary. Wow!

As he told me later, he’d witnessed this gender bias during his years in India, but this company was an equal opportunity employer. I got the job on merit and didn’t have to worry about being demure.

This is an exception to the norm. Confidence can sometimes backfire when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder.

And it isn’t just a specific geographic phenomenon; it’s global even though some countries are ahead in gender parity employment.

The interplay between gender, confidence and job promotion prospects

I read about an interesting study done back in 2018 in Australia on this topic.

It challenged the prevailing assumption that the best way to improve gender equality in the workplace was to encourage women to become more assertive.

This study indicated that popular approaches like the “lean in” movement championed by Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg could be misguided. It might just backfire.

This research for the first time offered a comprehensive view of the interplay between gender, confidence and job promotion prospects.

Researchers measured confidence using a psychological survey instrument that contains two dimensions – hope for success and fear of failure.

Workers with higher confidence, or hope for success, were generally more likely to be promoted in the following year.

On average, men have a higher hope for success, while women have a higher fear of failure.

The gender disparity is starkly revealed when comparing a man and a woman at the upper-most end of the confidence scale.

The chances of promotion rise from 8 per cent to 14 per cent if you’re a highly confident man but remain at around 7 to 8 per cent if you’re a highly confident woman.

To quote Economic researcher Dr. Leonora Risse

“This signal of potential bias in how women are treated in the workplace is consistent with other research showing that women receive a lower benefit – or even suffer backlash – for demonstrating ambition, confidence, assertiveness and leadership qualities in the workplace.”

Even social norms about modesty hold women back

Social norms can also hold women back. In fact, many women have a hard time getting ahead in the workplace because they are reluctant to brag.

Women tend to give the credit away and even downplay their achievements.

It’s one thing to acknowledge the team effort when we successfully close a project.

Good leaders are supposed to give credit where it’s due but not by downplaying our stewardship of the team. Or expect others to laud us for our performance.

A Brigham Young University study confirmed that social norms about modesty tend to hold women back.

The study put forward the case that violating this “modesty norm” by boasting about one’s accomplishments causes women to experience uncomfortable situational arousal.

This leads to lower motivation for and performance on a self-promotion task.

The study hypothesized that such negative effects could be offset when an external source for their situational arousal was made available.

To test hypotheses, 78 women students from a U.S. Northwestern university wrote a scholarship application essay to promote the merits of either the self (modesty norm violated) or another person as a letter of reference (modesty norm not violated).

Half were randomly assigned to hear information about a (fake) subliminal noise generator in the room that might cause “discomfort” (misattribution available). The other half were told nothing about the generator (normal condition: misattribution not available).

Participants rated the task and 44 new naive participants judged how much scholarship money to award each essay.

Results confirmed predictions: under normal conditions, violating the modesty norm led to decreased motivation and performance.

However, those who violated the modesty norm with a misattribution source reported increased interest, adopted fewer performance-avoidance goals, perceived their own work to be of higher quality, and produced higher quality work.

This suggests that when a situation helps women to escape the discomfort of defying the modesty norm, self-promotion motivation and performance improve.

[Citation: Smith, J. L., & Huntoon, M. (2014). Women’s Bragging Rights: Overcoming Modesty Norms to Facilitate Women’s Self-Promotion. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 38(4), 447–459.] https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684313515840

Prepare to brag beneficially without feeling discomfort

You can get the same results as demonstrated in the study without feeling discomfort or coming across as too aggressive.

It requires a 2-step approach.

First prepare to brag and get into the right mindset. After that, use the right strategies to achieve your goal of self-promotion with confidence.

Self-promotion is an important skill when it comes to achieving your career goals. It’s also important to demonstrate Executive Presence on a consistent basis and not on a one-off situation.

1. Seek motivation. Realize the value of self-promotion. Even today many women earn less than their average male colleagues. Self-promotion can help narrow that gap.
2. Build your confidence. Take on new challenges. Learn a foreign language or sign up for courses that help you develop your hard and soft skills. In an online world, Udemy and Coursera are just a click away. Consider hiring a coach who can help you with confidence issues. These activities will make you more confident and might encourage you to boast.
3. Evaluate your strengths. Perform an inventory of your skills and accomplishments. Simply doing this exercise will give you proof of your own worth and value.
4. Ask for feedback. Find out how your friends and colleagues feel about your qualifications. Think about what you get praised for the most. You may discover that you’re good at managing conference logistics or negotiating contracts with vendors.
5. Document your achievements. Start a brag book. Mark down when you save your company money or create an outstanding customer experience.
6. Limit self-deprecation. Watch what you say about yourself. Accept compliments graciously.
7. Manage stress. You may feel awkward talking about yourself. Visualize a calming image, like ocean waves or sheep grazing in a field. Find ways to relax through meditation or physical exercise.

7 Strategies for Beneficial Bragging that work

Once you are ready try these strategies. When applied correctly and consistently, you’ll get the desired results. Start small and then build on your success.

Network effectively. Form alliances where you can say flattering things about each other to those in power. Women are often better at promoting their friends rather than themselves.

Focus on outcomes. Make specific and quantifiable statements. Stating that you’ve won two prestigious awards for your marketing campaigns sounds more convincing than just saying you’re creative.

Serve others. People are more likely to welcome your remarks if they’re helpful. Update your boss on how you completed a project ahead of schedule. You’ll demonstrate that you’re competent and efficient without having to say so directly. Become known for sharing your ideas as well as your accomplishments.

Choose your setting. There’s a big difference between showcasing your skills at a job interview or performance evaluation and doing so at someone else’s retirement party. Ensure you have a receptive audience.

Hold yourself accountable. Accept responsibility for both your wins and your losses. Everything you say will have more credibility when your actions speak louder than your words.

Support others. Give others the opportunity to show off. Everyone likes to bask in praise sometimes. They may even return the favor and put you in the spotlight next.

Pace yourself. It’s good to be comfortable talking about yourself. Just save it for an appropriate time and place. Ensure you cultivate plenty of other topics of conversation to avoid seeming self-centered.

A little grandstanding is good for your career. Tooting your own horn pays off, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Just remember to do it with humility but with confidence.

When it comes to networking, I have discovered that there are 3 categories of networkers along a spectrum.

On one side you have the super networkers who just love to network. When on the other side of the spectrum you have those who wince at the very thought of ‘oh God, I have to network?

And then of course there’s a middle of the road path where most of us come into the picture which is that it depends on where you’re networking. And what happens when your contacts go cold? Especially if they are valuable?

(Watch the vlog or read the transcript below it.)

Hi, I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching and today we’re going to be looking at this very topic. I’m going to help you to be able to regain communications and connections with those valuable cold contacts.

Reaching out on LinkedIn with Cold Network VS a network that has gone cold

But first, I want to talk to you about reaching out on LinkedIn with a cold network or a network that has gone cold.

These are 2 completely different things and in fact this vlog post was inspired by a recent incident where I received a connection request and it was a pure sales pitch. One which made me wonder, have you even bothered to check what I do?

Now this is reaching out to a cold network on LinkedIn and if you are doing similar things then I advise you to stop it immediately.

When we talk about personalization, we talk about trying to find a common ground. Not give a veiled cold pitch and hope that you’re going to get business. Because, hey, I don’t know you from Adam or Eve. I’m not going to work with you for getting this kind of a message.

On the other hand, a network that has gone cold is one which was quite active till sometime back and then you have lost touch and you need to reconnect.

What’s the temperature of your personal network?

So here’s a question for you. Think about it. What’s the temperature of your personal network? Is it hot? Is it cold? Is it mild? Is it lukewarm? Tepid waters, maybe? Whichever way it is, unless it’s hot, there are ways that we can reignite the network.

But first, another truth bomb that I need to give you is, that when you’re reaching out to your contacts looking for a job or referral and you haven’t been in touch with them for some time then you are going to get disappointing  results.

Now it’s natural for your important colleagues to be less enthusiastic if they only hear from you when you’re asking for a favor.

Regular communication will strengthen your relationships, and in fact if you prove that you are a better contact to have, people will be delighted to hear from you.

I go into more details in how to do that in my blog post about being, the difference between networkers and netweavers. And I’ll be sharing the link with you later.

So let’s get started.

Tip#1 – Offer a sincere apology

The first tip that I would like to offer you when you are reaching out to a contact that has gone cold especially if you’ve been neglecting to return phone calls early because you were simply too busy is to apologize – a very sincere apology.

Acknowledge your lapse and ensure that you’re considerate in the future if your contact decides to forgive you and recommence the relationship.

Tip#2 – Start within your immediate network first

The second tip is to start within your immediate network first. Use the opportunities you have to practice your networking skills and make new contacts. They’re all around you. You simply have to find them and look for the leads among those you interact with daily, including coworkers and other job seekers or business friends.

But start with them first and build up your confidence before you move on to even colder contacts.

Tip#3 – Research before reconnecting

When you’re planning to reconnect with someone please do some research first because you must have some common point to talk about. You could try to find out if someone has changed job or gotten married since you last spoke.

And some good resources to do that are to check on LinkedIn or their LinkedIn profile. Even go on Facebook if you are friends with them on Facebook. Or talk to mutual friends and find out what’s up in their life.

And using this information, make sure that you’re prepared for your first conversation after such a long time.

Tip#4 – Stay informed about current affairs

Another tip is to stay informed about current affairs. You know, when you’re an interesting person and you’re able to give good interesting conversation about what’s happening in your field or in the wider world, people will be happy to reconnect with you.

So I would suggest you read books, you watch movies, and engage in deep conversations. You may also feel like first posting on social media about things that you’ve been reading or some perspective you wish to offer first so that in case that connection is on LinkedIn, they will see that you’re active there and maybe the conversation will get started from that point itself.

Tip#5 – Give more!

And the fifth one is to give more. This is again successful networking is all about being generous. And, again this is about the same thing I was telling you about netweaving.  You can always help others by sending articles, or making referrals, or just sharing an encouraging word. It’s so easy.

If you’re too scared to get on the phone to your cold connect to revive, all you have to do is maybe send an email or a message. Share something that you found or make an introduction between 2 people who might find each other’s, you know, network useful.

Give first then ask later.

7 Tips to prevent your network from going cold

Now having given you these 5 tips, I also want to talk to you about how can you prevent your network from going cold because the tips that I’ve given you earlier are only there to help you to revive it. You may not succeed. Or if you succeeded, you may not succeed as well as you want.

So prevention is always better than a cure. Let’s look at these 7 tips.

And they are very easy ones.

Be Selective

The first is to be selective.  Now in a way we all have a limited amount of time and here I suggest that quality is always better than quantity if you want to cultivate authentic relationships. So you have to prioritize.

Figure out who your key contacts are and devote more time keeping in touch with them. Then it won’t feel so cumbersome. In fact, if you look at the number of friends you may have acquired on Facebook or the number of connections you have acquired on LinkedIn, how many of them are you actually actively engaged with?

Select the ones that really matter and make sure we don’t lose touch with them. There are other results of taking care of other network members and I’ll tell you that about later.

Create an Organized System

Now here it is to create an organized system.

And that means that networking has to be organized. It may mean that you scan business cards or create a whole database, or even keep an Excel spreadsheet. Or something that helps you to know who you connected with, when you connected, some additional extra information about them so that you can find reasons to keep in touch. It could be their birthdays or work anniversaries or other useful things.

Block out Time to Network

Coming from the organized system learn to block out time. Because if it’s not on your calendar; it’s never going to happen. You could set aside say about a half an hour in the morning or in the evening to communicate with people.

Maybe make some phone calls or you can set a goal to eat lunch with one of your contacts if they are in the same city or even just, you know, fix appointments to say ‘hey let’s catch up’ sort of thing. And it doesn’t have to be a 2 hour session but could even be 15 minutes just to say hello.

Increase Your Visibility

The other one is to increase your visibility. In other words speaking or even posting on the social media networks where your contacts hang out on topics which are related to your career or your industry or even current affairs will also give you opportunities to make new contacts and refresh old ones.

So if you’re not being affected by any COVID lockdowns check with your local communities and contact the organizers for any upcoming industry event. Or if there’s an online event going on which has the facility of networking use that but definitely raise your visibility in a good way.

Offer Congratulations

Another thing I want to tell you is that people always love to hear from you if you are expressing a genuine interest in their lives and appreciation for their achievements.  So relay your good wishes when you find out that somebody has been promoted or has landed a major account or has gotten a new job.

The 2 networks, Facebook and LinkedIn often give you notifications. A simple Happy Birthday can make a very big difference. Or if you find out somebody’s got a work anniversary you just shoot them a message or post on the newsfeed and say Congratulations.

It doesn’t take too much. It’s easy.

Send Holiday Greetings

And then, send holiday greetings.  Now here you may be saying, ‘my God, I’ve got a thousand people in my network, how do I do that’? So, here’s what I recommend.

There are certain occasions whether it’s Diwali, or Eid, or Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Year’s when you can reach out to your network even if you’re not in touch with them regularly.

A bonus tip – personalize the messages for your key contacts while creating a more general message for those people with whom you interact with less frequently. The point is that they should know that you remembered them.

Take Scheduled Time Off

And finally, take some scheduled time off. You know, when you take time off it will help you to stay more motivated and balanced.

You may want to forget about business or your career when you’re with your family or with the rest of your community. It will also give you time to relax and think who do I need to connect with or who do I need to stay in touch with?

So that’s from me and because I started with LinkedIn and I’ve mentioned it so many times I have a little special gift for you and that is my ebook on the 5 Mistakes Professionals Make on LinkedIn.

The link to get this ebook is in the comments or in the summary and I recommend that you download it. Very simple mistakes and I also provide you with how to avoid it or make up for it so that you don’t irritate your network.

Final Words 

My final words are to always remember that an effective network is more than collecting business cards.

It’s developing closer professional relationships and you can do that to advance your career by keeping in touch with your contacts.

And lastly even if it kills you take the initiative to reach out if you’ve let a valuable connection grow cold.

So that’s all from me for now. I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching signing off. Do tell me about your own experiences. Bye for now.

High Performance doesn’t necessarily mean High Potential. Both traits aren’t mutually exclusive and why confusion sometimes happens during appraisal time.

Performance reviews use the spectrum of delivery based on the level of the employee and what is expected of them in their job role.

So the markers start with ‘doesn’t meet expectation’ all the way to ‘exceeds expectations’ and even being identified as a leadership candidate.

That’s when the problem starts. A High Potential employee will naturally be a High Performer but it’s possible the High Performer won’t have High Potential.

The number of times I’ve heard of professionals being promoted to management roles and then becoming failures in the new role can’t be counted.

These high performing professionals failed at taking their teams along with them to the kind of results that they had in their individual capacity.

They lacked the leadership qualities required for the next rung up the corporate ladder. Yet they were promoted based on individual performance.

I worked with a young professional way in my Big Four days on a complex assignment involving multi-location client sites.

To top it, there was a mercurial Chief Financial Officer whose temper literally sat on his nose. He was new to India and still adjusting to our culture. The Audit Partner and I had to treat him with kid gloves.

The young professional was an Audit Executive and performed well. He got a 5 on the Bell Curve annual appraisal and  promoted to Senior Executive. Going forward he would lead a small team for the location audits.

The following year he got the job done but required a lot of supervision from myself and other Senior Executives on the job.

Forget about High Potential he didn’t even demonstrate High Performance!

I gave him a 3 for the assignment marking. When the annual appraisal time rolled in, the Audit Partner wanted to rank him a 2, one number short of asking the person to leave or get fired.

After consulting the other Senior Manager, I requested to at least mark him a 3 as he had delivered on other audit assignments.

I also suggested  counselling him about applying his potential and being able to manage a team even when under pressure.

I left the organization a few months later but kept in touch with some colleagues. I learned afterwards that counselling was ineffective and this professional was unable to perform at the new level.

He was subsequently placed at a client’s place in a low pressure job. It was a dignified exit. One hoped he was able to apply himself and achieve success.

Call it the Peter’s Principle if you want, which refers to a person reaching their own level of incompetence.

I’d prefer to consider whether the person really possesses the aptitude and potential to be a leader. Or even wants to be a leader. Perhaps they are motivated by other elements of their lives.

One can’t blame organizations either, because performance is visible, tangible and measurable.

Potential is more subjective, method of measurement used and depends upon the end goals of the organization.

Unless qualities like leadership aptitude and change management are included in appraisals, they will remain hidden factors for identifying the potential of the employee.

Identifying High Potential Employees

As I mentioned earlier, the idea of a high potential employee depends upon the employer’s end goals and what they identify as HiPo or High Potential.

In an interesting article that I read some time back there is a clear pattern common across all industries when identifying high potential employees.

That is, the payoff from employing top talent – defined as the vital few who account for the biggest chunk of organizational output — increases as a function of job complexity.

The article noted that talented employees are “force multipliers”, raising the performance bar for their colleagues, and particularly for their direct reports.

By word and deed, they model and teach winning behaviors that shape high-performing cultures. Adding a star performer to a team boosts the effectiveness of other team members by 5-15%.

No wonder studies show that companies making proportionally greater investments in identifying and developing top talent show stronger financial performance.

Identifying these talented individuals becomes important for the organization. They also need to ensure that the employee being identified as high potential does possess that potential.

Progressive organizations often establish their own benchmarks and normally look for professionals who

• Will perform well in a senior management role
• Have the ability to improve performance within their business sector
• Have the drive and determination to move to the top of the career ladder within the company

These benchmarks are communicated to their employees and you would recognize them as criterion in your annual performance plans.

These include key performance indicators, achievements and behaviours that are likely to make somebody suitable for promotion.

There are numerous tools used including 360 degree appraisal systems and even personality profiling.

A Harvard survey found that 98% of companies have some sort of system to identify high performers, a select group that represents only about 3 to 5% of the workforce.

Meanwhile, staying in those elite ranks is almost as challenging as getting there. The same survey found that up to 20% of these rising stars drop off the list each year.

How to demonstrate your High Potential to the Boss

Whether you want to climb up the ladder to senior management or be picked for interesting projects you need to be proactive.

Your boss needs to see your high potential and performance to champion you.

Your organization might have its benchmarks and criterion but that doesn’t mean you can’t take the initiative to stand out and be visible.

Competence at your current job and achieving targets is a starting point, but it takes more than that to advance. This is true for any stage of your career.

Displaying Your Potential Early in Your Career

When you’re new on the job, focus on fitting in and making connections. That groundwork will build a stable foundation for your future.

1. Deliver results on time. Track and document your accomplishments. Develop a reputation for exceeding expectations and completing assignments on time. Identify challenges where you can propose solutions.
2. Support your boss and strive to make your boss look good. Study their priorities so you know where to devote your efforts.
3. Focus on learning. Keep the big picture in mind as you find out all you can about your company and your industry. Ask lots of questions, be observant, and read the latest news. Be proactive in your professional development.
4. Be open to receiving feedback. Learn about yourself too. Invite others to let you know what they think about your work. Be open to criticism and thank your colleagues for their comments.
5. Apply your knowledge. For your lessons to have an impact, you need to translate them into action. Analyze information to discover its practical applications. Make a list of takeaways each time you pick a coworker’s brain or attend a training or conference.
6. Be humble. Let your actions speak for themselves. Contribute to the team and share credit with others. Develop your Emotional Intelligence.

Displaying Your Potential Later in Your Career

By the time you’re in mid or senior stages of your career, your competence tends to be taken for granted.

Now, you’re more likely to be appreciated and marked against intangibles like leadership, vision, emotional and social intelligence.

1. Develop a specialty. Be prepared to let go of some responsibilities so you can leverage your strengths. Identify what you’re good at and what you like to do.
2. Provide a role model and be a mentor. Think about the qualities you admire in your own role models and adapt them to suit your style. Reach out to new hires and offer constructive feedback to your peers.

3. Motivate others. Encourage others to pursue their passions too. Provide the employees you manage with opportunities to learn and grow. Empower them with meaningful work. In other words, be an influential leader.
4. Serve as a brand ambassador. Your behavior reflects on your company as you deal with clients or the general public. Ensure you understand the mission statement so you can put those values into action.
5. Take risks. You can act like an entrepreneur even if someone else owns the company. Take sensible risks that will allow you to stretch your skills and enhance your company’s position. Start off small and learn from experience so you can fine tune your judgement over time.

Demonstrating your potential to your boss will help you gain recognition and promotions. You will find a mentor and champion as you aim for the higher rungs of the corporate ladder.

Position yourself for success by strengthening your performance at the early stages of your career.

Later, you can count on your business savvy and close relationships to help you excel as a leader.

Situational Leadership isn’t a new concept but its importance is becoming relevant to meet the demands of an increasingly diverse society and corporate workplace. Especially in the pandemic world.

A one-size-fits-all leadership style doesn’t meet the demands or requirements while Situational leadership offers a more flexible solution.

Back in my auditor days, our audit teams often had professionals from other departments like tax and IT join us for major audits. Our job on these particular areas was to do a broad overview and complete checklists to enable them to do more in-depth work.

Risk management and compliance required them to review systems and other important areas enabling us to prepare our audit reports which the audit partner could sign off on as being true and fair.

The Audit Manager had to ensure a smooth running of this complex team with different skill sets, temperaments and requirements.

Quite often the outside team members would be of different experience levels and required a supervisor or manager to help them get the required information from the client.

Getting the team to work as one could be challenging at times when there were diverse specialists.

In modern businesses, especially multinational companies, one finds different teams from different backgrounds and cultures. Dealing with these diverse groups sometimes means switching one’s leadership approach.

This is why many business leaders are embracing situational leadership as a management style and its growing popularity.

A good leader knows how to achieve organization goals while also helping their teams achieve their own goals. This leadership style facilitates it.

Sociology textbooks explain how various researchers have contributed in this area, but the concept is relatively straightforward.

Instead of sticking with what you know, you adapt your leadership style to different circumstances.

That’s a simple explanation of Situational Leadership.

The origins of Situational Leadership Styles

This leadership style was first described by Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard in their 1969 book, Management of Organizational Behavior. Originally called the “Life Cycle Theory of Leadership,” several years later they renamed it “situational leadership theory”.

Hersey and Blanchard each developed individual theories based on the initial concept of situational leadership, which they further described in their books, The Situational Leader (Hersey 1985) and The One-Minute Manager (Blanchard 1982) and Leadership and the One Minute Manager Updated Ed: Increasing Effectiveness Through Situational Leadership II (Blanchard 2013).

The basic concept behind a situational leadership style is that the leader changes their approach to leadership based on the needs of the moment, hence the term “situational.”

It’s the opposite of one size fits all. Some employees or team members are proficient at their work and can take more responsibility.

You can delegate tasks and do a periodic check-in while you might need to manage a junior team member more with a focus on clearly defined tasks and deadlines.

Because no two situations are the same, the situational leadership style borrows from many other leadership styles to find the right approach based on the circumstances and situation.

Four Leadership Styles under Situational Leadership

Briefly, these 4 leadership styles come under the umbrella of situational leadership. A good leader will use the required style depending on the situation.

Telling style

Short-term approach designed to create movement in the employee with the approach to leading others adjusted based on the needs of the moment.

This style works best when a manager needs to get the best results from a group with a lesser skill set. It involves a high amount of supervision from managers, and it’s much more focused on completion of tasks than boosting the relationship and psychological safety between manager and employee.

It’s the most autocratic of the styles and is commonly seen in military situations.

Coaching or explaining style

Intended to create buy-in and understanding. It puts the leader in more of a coaching role than a directing one and sports organizations commonly use this style.

It aligns with followers with limited experience performing the task but exude both confidence and motivation toward the process of leader-driven skill development.

The leader’s job is to make sure tasks go to those best suited to the job while providing advice and experience.

Participating leadership style 

This is a democratic approach and used to create alignment. It is best suited for teams with high skill sets where the leader provides more feedback than guidance.

It is a good style to help junior managers develop their own leadership skills.

Delegating leadership style

Designed to create autonomy at the employee level and let employees run with their own projects. It works well for staff with high skill levels and is the most hands-off approach of all 4 styles.

In this case, the leader oversees the work while ensuring things go according to plan. It’s an ideal approach when working with senior team members.

Whichever leadership style is adopted to match the situation, the leader clearly exercises influence and needs to choose the right style to be effective.

If you want to develop your own situational leadership style, then this 2 step approach will provide you with the required guidance to take informed decisions.

Two Step Approach to applying Situation Leadership

Step 1 – Assessing the Situation

There are many factors to take into account when you’re working with a group, especially the nature of your team and what you’re trying to accomplish.

Keep these tips in mind:

1. Evaluate engagement. Willingness and enthusiasm are two key qualities to look for. Some obvious signs of employee engagement include exceeding expectations and spending time on professional development activities.
2. Measure ability. In addition to willingness, your team must also be able to do the required tasks. You may want to administer tests or ask for self-assessments.
3. Explore personalities. Understanding personalities matters too. Talking about values and work styles can help you to figure out how to motivate your team and handle conflicts.
4. Clarify expectations. Lay down some ground rules and work at developing group and individual goals. Put your principles and objectives down in writing.
5. Define tasks. Consider the nature of your work. Is it mostly simple and routine or does it involve more complex reasoning and variety?
6. Meet deadlines. Keep your timeline in mind. Will you need to make decisions on your own quickly or is there more room for discussion and consultation?

Step 2 – Understanding Your Options

As we learned earlier, there’s no one-style-fits-all style of leadership. In order to be influential and effective, you need to expand your leadership skills.

This will prepare you for a range of opportunities that you’re likely to come across in today’s workplace.

Depending on the situation, various strategies may be effective, such as:

1. Provide direction. Sometimes leadership boils down to giving instructions. That may be the case if your team is limited in terms of willingness or ability.
2. Offer coaching. At the same time, you may be able to offer more support and less direction as your team acquires greater experience and forms stronger relationships. Create a culture of constructive feedback, high standards, and ongoing learning.
3. Delegate responsibility. Identify which tasks you need to do yourself and which you can hand over to someone else. This may include recurring activities or those that give employees a chance to upgrade their skills.
4. Earn trust. Even if your role carries a high level of authority, it’s beneficial to build trust. A team is more likely to succeed if they feel secure and respected. Strive to be consistent and objective. Communicate openly and take responsibility for your decisions.
5. Set an example. What does your behavior say about your character and abilities? Your team will notice what you do as well as what you say. Honor your commitments and work on your listening skills.
6. Build personal relationships. Meaningful connections and shared goals turn a group of individuals into a team. As a leader, it’s important to establish rapport and show appreciation. Stay positive and approachable.
7. Identify talent. Who are the shining stars on your team? Create future leaders by spotting talent and nurturing it. Pay attention to potential along with current performance, so you’ll be prepared for emerging needs and opportunities.

Successful leaders keep growing and applying what they learn.

Developing your situational leadership skills can help you to advance your career, while you help increase productivity and morale.

Is this an area you already know you need to develop?

If yes, then get Karmic Ally Coaching’s Influential Leader Crash course here or click the image below for more information.

Do you have experience with using situational leadership in your organisation?

Did you know that your integrity or lack of it also influences people’s perception of your Executive Presence?

Now believe it or not but it does and in this video I’m going to show you 7 ways to clearly show others your true integrity.

Prefer to read? Here’s the transcript

Hi, I’m Vatsala Shukla, Chief Encouragement Officer of Karmic Ally Coaching and before I show you these 7 ways, I wanted to actually give a bit of background about why it’s so important for me to talk about integrity to you.

You see, many times I’m asked questions on Quora from professionals who want to know whether they should embellish their resumes for jobs or how far they can actually go in, you know, writing lies on their resumes.

And each time, I have actually shown them and told them that it is not a good idea because employers do verifications and anything that turns up as being a falsehood on their resumes can actually lead to action and in some countries you can even get imprisoned for it because that is criminal.

Now what inspired me to talk about integrity today is a recent question where somebody asked me how much can I falsify my resume?

And I had to say, no you cannot because that is indicative of a lack in integrity.

And in fact, even if the person did manage to get the interview, the question is, what would happen when the employer would find out that he had lied? In fact, I want to ask you to consider it and answer this question….

That would you consider this person worthy of hiring?

I certainly wouldn’t because if you can lie in your resume, then God knows what else you can lie about. It shows a lack of integrity.

Now, Integrity is the type of concept that everyone knows, but sometimes they struggle to understand it because we know we want to have integrity, we know we want to work with people who have it.

But, we sometimes get lost on how to do it.

While living a life of integrity isn’t always easy, it is simple. There are going to be times when you are going to be in conflict and you will have to learn how to manage it.

But if you want to embrace integrity in your life, then just follow these seven steps:

#1 Know Your Values

The first and most important one is to Know Your Values because a big part of integrity is actually being true to your morals and values. And if you don’t take the time to define them, then it’s tough to be true to them, obviously.

So, take some time to brainstorm the values that are important for you. In fact, you can find resources on my website that can help you to do that.

#2 Strive for Honesty

The second one is to always strive for Honesty because that is another very important aspect of integrity.

You cannot claim to live with integrity if you are regularly telling lies. Which is coming back to the same question that I was asked about embellishing of the resume.

And if you find yourself in a spot where you feel you have to lie, then try to say nothing instead. Or be brave enough to tell the truth. People will respect you for that.

#3 Keep Your Promises

The third one is to keep your promises because a promise isn’t something to be thrown around lightly. And if you promise something to someone, you must try your best to make it work.

If you are the type of person who promises big things but never delivers, then nobody will take you seriously. In fact it shows that you’re not sincere.

#4 Show Compassion

The fourth one is Compassion and showing it. A lot of people tend to think being compassionate is a sign of weakness but it actually isn’t.

In fact people who are able to show compassion show that they have strength. If you are trying to live a life of great integrity, then treating others with respect and empathy should actually be the norm not the exception.

#5 Stand for Something

Now this one is one of my favorites and that is to stand for something.

I’m not saying that you have to be a social justice warrior or join organizations or go on a candle lit march, unless of course you want to, but you should have a cause (or a few) that you feel strong enough to stand up for.

It could be animal rights, it could be elderly abuse. It could be wildlife preservation, conservation, environmentalism. Anything. Something that you are passionate about because this shows you care about important things.

It shows you have a backbone, and are true to your values. And these are all characteristics of someone with integrity.

Now people may not always be happy if you stand up for something that you believe to be correct but at the end of the day they will respect you for taking a stand. So I suggest take a stand for something.

#6 Don’t Always Follow the Crowd

And then naturally don’t always follow the crowd. This is something you always have to remember – it’s always easier to follow the crowd.

And ask yourself, will this showcase my integrity?

If you believe in what the majority is saying, that is one thing. But if you have strong feelings about something, don’t be quieted just because you are in the minority.

And this is one reason why bullying often takes place in schools because the bully, the person who is doing the bullying is able to overwhelm others who may feel meek or feel scared that if they speak out against something which is wrong, then they might become the next target.

And yes, as children that is very scary but just as children may feel they are in a minority and may keep quiet that doesn’t mean that you as an adult should not speak out when it is time to speak up out, especially if you do not agree with the crowd.

#7 Be Humble

And then the last one is, be humble. Humility. There is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself.

There’s also nothing wrong with tooting your own horn or self-promoting yourself, especially if you’ve done a good job but everything has to be within limits.

People with integrity don’t feel the need to scream about their accomplishments (or worse, embellish them) constantly.

They don’t need to go on social media and keep bragging about themselves. Sometimes it’s good to be a little self-deprecating, be a little humble. People love humility.

So in all, when it comes to integrity, here are the points I’d like you to remember.

And that is, integrity means, you are who you say you are. You do what you say you’ll do and live according to the moral code you profess.

You do more than just being honest, ethical and compliant. And you do what’s right at all times and in all contexts despite the cost. You stay rooted in and true to your value base.

And you have an ongoing commitment to value fidelity. Your commitment to staying internally and externally true.

About Internal Congruence

Now when I mentioned staying in integrity internally and externally true, I want to point out a few things about internal congruence.

And what this means in terms of integrity is that when you are keenly aware of who you and what you value and you strive to make decisions in support of your values and that shows you are in integrity internally.

Your thoughts, words, and actions “match” are going to match what you value and believe to be morally good and right. And this is important because integrity makes it easier for others to trust which is important if you are aspiring to a Leadership role.

And all of this Internal Congruence part begins with self-awareness.

Because External Congruence would mean matching your values and your integrity with those of external forces, like with your employer or with your social situation but today, here we are just looking at you and your integrity.

Integrity Building Exercise

There’s a simple exercise you may want to try out.

And that is, it’s a 3 step one. Firstly, take some time to define your values right now. What is important to you? What do you truly believe in? And this was the first way that I had mentioned earlier.

Then make a list of the people in your life that you interact with regularly. Do any of these people suffer a severe lack of integrity? If yes, then consider how you might limit interactions with them.

Because if you are in the wrong kind of company then it is very easy to fall into their ways rather than maintaining those that are true to you.

And thirdly, as you might have guessed, is to choose a cause near and dear to your heart. This cause should fit in with the values you brainstormed earlier. And then figure out a way that you can support this cause and take the first steps towards doing so.

In doing all of this you will develop your integrity muscle which in turn is going to help you to develop your Executive Presence and you will not wonder whether you should be embellishing resumes or how far you can tell a lie in order to get ahead with your career or your life.

When you are ready, I have another article which is going to help you in your workplace on how to convince people you’re an expert with integrity.

And this one, this article is going to actually show you how when you are an expert you can actually demonstrate it to others without feeling that you are out of your own integrity space.

So that’s all from me for now. This is Vatsala Shukla signing off. See you in my next Executive Presence Tip.

Do you use strategic thinking? More importantly does your organization think you have this leadership skill?

While Strategic thinking is a powerful tool in the leadership of an organization, it’s becoming even more important for professionals who want to climb the corporate ladder and be seen as potential leaders.

Back in the day when I worked in the insurance industry, our headcount was also reviewed during annual budgeting time and we were perpetually being asked to trim it. The goal was to be lean and productive.

It’s still the same story today with managers being asked to be productive with fewer resources. This is where strategy comes into play.

Do you know how to allocate your resources, whether they are manpower, time or company assets optimally?

Are you able to take a Helicopter View when solving problems or coming up with new ideas and innovations?

Do you have a well-developed out of box thinking skill?

If yes, then you’re a good strategist. Sadly, many managers do require training in developing and upgrading this skill.

The ability to think in strategic terms isn’t a black and white skill but comes in varying degrees, ranging from brilliant to non-existent.

This point is brought out by Rich Horwath in his book Deep Dive: The Proven Method for Building Strategy, Focusing Your Resources, and Taking Smart Action.

To home in on one’s ability to think, he took the results of research conducted among senior managers from 154 companies and found that only 3 out of 10 managers were strategic.

No wonder employers who have short-listed managers for the next level are often willing to sponsor their employee for courses and workshops to develop this skill.

They know all too well that this valuable skill will give the manager the foresight and insight needed for success over the long term when applied throughout the organization.

Where are you on the spectrum of Strategic Thinkers?

Horwath used 2 criteria to consider while evaluating an individual’s ability to provide strategic insight – “Impact of Insights” and “Frequency of Insights.”

Using the analogy of underwater diving to explain the types of strategic thinkers, Horwath compared the 4 types of divers to the 4 types of strategic thinkers as shown in the diagram below.

The images that come to mind when reading the types definitely point out where we stand on the spectrum and what we need to improve.

Beach Bums

They sit on the shore and make no attempt to enter the water. This type of manager doesn’t contribute insight into the business.

Snorkelers

They swim on the surface of the water, equipped with a diving mask and swim fins. This type of manager offers tactical solutions to issues, but they tend to do surface thinking and seldom get to the heart of an issue.

Scuba Divers

They swim underwater wearing a diving mask, swim fins, a wet suit, and a portable apparatus containing compressed air. This type of manager can produce strategic insights for solutions but requires instruction and assistance to do so.

Free Divers

They dive underwater without the assistance of a portable breathing apparatus in an attempt to attain great depths. These managers generate effective insights about the business on a regular basis.

Imagine, based on the research, only 3 in 10 managers are Free Divers!

More Reasons for developing Strategic Thinking

You know from your own experience that employees and people in general, value leaders who are not focused solely on solving the problem of today but are looking to the future as well.

Leaders plan ahead and figure out what needs to be done today, tomorrow and the years ahead to get there.

They also know how to articulate their vision to inspire others.

Improving your strategic thinking skills and implementing those skills with others makes you a better communicator.

Effective communication is a top attribute of a leader who is a strategic thinker.

By developing good communication skills and being able to clearly describe what actions you want your team to take, you also unite everyone to work together.

Being a good communicator means having an open-door policy and having one-on-one meetings regularly with team members. You make yourself accessible to discuss anything.

Communication includes having good listening skills as well. It’s important to listen to what your employees or team members have to say. Leaders speak and hear well.

The boss who demonstrates that he or she is aware of their concerns is remembered years later as a good leader because they felt heard. They kept the team morale high even during difficult times.

Good leaders ask others for their input on problems and consider other solutions.

Giving constructive feedback to team members along the way helps them understand what’s working or not as well as a chance to use the insight right away.

By doing this, your team members respect you and trust you to help them do the right thing.

Strategic thinking leaders have a collaborative approach that creates transparency in the business.

Being genuinely interested in collaborating with your team lets them know what you’re thinking and you to know what they are thinking. This leads to trust.

A strategic thinking leader is forthright about their success, failures, and the reasons for choosing certain goals or plans over others.

This level of honesty and responsibility earns the respect of their team and encourages the team to follow suit.

Passion and commitment show through from your enthusiasm for project or your mission. This gets others excited because they see and feel your excitement.

Commitment is what gets the job done with the ability to stay focused on what you need to do to be successful.

Showing your team that you are passionate and committed means doing the work alongside them. They see this, increasing their motivation and respect for you.

Improving your strategic thinking skills make you a better leader since your team members see you being passionate and committed to your goal.

They feel they can trust you because you are honest about the project or goal and all the ups and downs that go with it.

Your open communication and good listening skills leaves the door open for them to be able to come to you when they have problems or ideas.

Final Thoughts on Strategic Thinking and improving Leadership Skills

This skill is a critical part of life, but especially in business. Leaders possess a lot of strategic thinking skills.

Business owners must be strategic thinkers to operate their businesses at maximum efficiency.

Our actions must be planned to give the desired results, especially if you’re thinking of changing career or business tracks right now.

It’s important to invest our time wisely to get the maximum return on our efforts.

The good news is everyone can develop and strengthen their strategic thinking skills. It isn’t hard – just takes practice and a little know how.

If this is an area that you want to develop on your own then check out the Strategic Thinking Bundle.

A lot of networking right now is shifting online as we continue our COVID-19 year but it doesn’t mean we can’t apply one-on-one networking practices in the virtual world.

In fact, how good are your online networking skills?

This isn’t a trick question.

It’s based on an observation I’m making on LinkedIn – the Numero Uno social media platform meant for serious networkers looking to expand their business or professional network for career progression.

It’s the number of non-personalized invitations, the people who don’t respond when you ask them their reasons for wanting to connect or hit you with a CV asking for help with getting a job or a sales pitch for a product or service without considering if you’re the right person.

And I’m not the only one. This morning I saw a post from a Career Coach who openly vented about sales pitches and pick your brain sessions that weren’t useful to either party.

Or another LinkedIn connection of mine who is a highly respected LinkedIn Trainer who received a personalized invitation to connect and then the next message after accepting the connection request was to offer him a service to improve his profile for more business leads.

In the words of Bertie Wooster – Egad.

Guess what?

That’s not networking – it’s repelling a fellow professional who can be helpful if approached the right way.

It’s also not about trying to get 30,000 people to connect with you without knowing anything about them.

If you’re making this mistake because someone told you ‘connect and build a network’, then there is a vital piece of the equation that they might not have mentioned.

Or if they did, you didn’t hear it because you focused on doing 1 click invites to build an enviable 30,000 network.

Networking on LinkedIn isn’t a numbers game…

…it’s about making a meaningful connection with someone you can learn from, who in turn can teach you new things.

On LinkedIn, it’s about being able to communicate with the connection and develop a real contact. That communication could be in writing at first and then even a telephone call or a meeting if you’re in the same city.

In other words, communication is important and if you can do it on the phone, Skype or in person, brownie points!

Unfortunately, this makes networking suddenly seem more intimidating.

This is where time spent learning how to network can be valuable.

• Take time to practice having conversations.
• Start by talking to family and friends.
• Practice your listening skills.

Then once you’ve learned what it means to engage with others, practice again on those people you’ve lost touch with over the years, (and rebuild some great relationships in the process.)

Once you feel confident, take this newfound knowledge into the field, and test it on the people you want most to connect with and meet whether virtually or in person.

Will every encounter come out perfect? Probably not…

If you keep in mind every conversation becomes an opportunity to learn, you will soon be feeling more confident each time you meet someone new.

And if you’re thinking in these days of social distancing you can’t network, then let go of that excuse. It’s a limiting belief giving you permission to avoid conversations.

You can do it on LinkedIn and you can start doing it right now by contacting your contacts and start building meaningful relationships.

Drop them a line and ask how they’ve been? You don’t need an ulterior motive or agenda. Just be human and authentic.

If you’re not sure about how to invite and engage with new connections, I’ve got a post with the 10 rules of engagement you need to keep in mind when networking on LinkedIn including the story of a real Missing Link I met on LinkedIn.

In fact, you can use the same guidance on Facebook if that’s your favorite place to hang out.

5 Professional Tips for One-on-One Networking

Not all networking happens at live events. Some of the most effective networking you can do happens over coffee meetings.

One-on-one catch ups, whether they’re in real life or virtual, give you a chance to really connect without the distractions of being in a big crowd.

More often than not, I’ve noticed professionals ignore their existing or hidden network and reach out to strangers on social media, especially LinkedIn and Facebook when approaching a warm network would be more beneficial than cold networking.

Recently a highly experienced professional approached me for help with his job hunt and the fact that I was not in recruitment or executive search didn’t stop him from asking. That’s alright because I told him to contact the right people for achieving his job hunt goal.

As it turned out, we had 3 common connections and one of them was in talent management services.

There was no excuse for not renewing this contact other than the resistance arising from having been out of touch. According to this professional, he wanted to try out other professionals before turning to his existing network that he had not been in touch with.

Here’s the thing. It’s very easy to fall out of touch with people. It happens with the best of us.

We get busy with our jobs and family life and only remember them when we are in trouble.

Then we feel sheepish about asking for help and go off on a tangent asking strangers who don’t know us from Adam or Eve for help and expect miracles.

There’s  simpler way to have a robust network.

Maintain contact with your current network and all of the people in it is going to help you grow.

Follow up with people – your mentors, colleagues, and other contacts – on a regular basis to see how they’re doing.

Keep them up to date on you as well. Remember, don’t make it all about you; you will want them to know what you’re up to while also finding out what they’ve been up to.

Does that sound like a Herculean task?

Here’s a quick tip – at least send them a greeting on their birthdays and on festivals. You’ll stay top of mind and you never know, it might bring up the chance to actually catch up and make the connection stronger.

As with other professional activities where you are investing time and effort, you need to have a plan and more importantly a method to make it effective.

Here are five tips to make your one-on-one networking even more effective.

Always have a purpose for the networking meeting

Whether your networking meeting is taking place offline like say a coffee meeting or a virtual one over Zoom or Skype, your networking meeting is more likely to be effective if it’s clear why it’s happening.

In other words, what’s the purpose of the meeting?

Are you looking for a mentor, or a new position? Has the person been recommended to you? Maybe you’re new in town and looking to connect with peers.

If it’s a get-to-know-you meeting, it’s okay to talk about common interests like books, movies, or sports.

The other person’s time is valuable too and its important to make sure you’re both meeting for a good reason.

Picking their brains for free advice is not a good purpose!

Be strategic

Do your research and identify leaders that you really want to connect with. Be clear about where you want to be in a year, five years’ time and seek out the people who can help you get there.

Part of the point of networking is not just the people you meet, but the people they know who can help you grow your own network.

If you have changed jobs, sectors, or towns, connecting with the right people can help you hit the ground running.

Make the meeting mutually beneficial

I mentioned earlier that picking someone’s brains for free advice is not a good purpose for a meeting unless of course you have made that intention clear at the time of inviting the person to the meeting and they have agreed.

A good networking meeting isn’t just about what you can get out of the other person – there has to be some benefit for them too. It’s what I call netweaving – an activity that can make you a valuable connection for others.

Think about what you can offer. What are your special skills or connections? Do you have acquaintances or experiences in common?

Pay the other person the respect of doing some background research so you know where they’re from, and what their career path and big projects have been.

Networking is a Two-Way Street.

When someone helps you out and makes a positive connection for you, then you have to be sure that you give back in some way. You simply can’t keep going back and asking for help without giving back in return.

The giving back can take many forms. Maybe a box of chocolates if they’ve helped you get a job or even an introduction to another contact of yours who can be beneficial to their business or work. Sometimes even a sincere letter of thanks or a recommendation on LinkedIn works.

Keep an eye out for their interests and make an introduction at an opportune moment. The choices are not restricted.

Respect your new contact’s time

Remember this person has made time for you in their day. Be respectful of that and keep to the agreed time (don’t be late!).

Don’t hog the conversation, and make sure the meeting doesn’t go over time, unless the other person is keen to keep talking. In an offline setting, you can give them your business card, but don’t hand over your resume or a pitch book for business unless it’s requested.

Likewise, if the meeting is virtual, don’t send the resume or a business proposal unless they have asked you for it.

Remember your manners

Be polite during your meeting and remember to follow up within twenty-four hours with a brief email thanking them for taking time out to talk.

Gratitude goes a long way. When someone helps you in whatever way, being grateful will go a long way.

After having a conversation with someone in person or online, send them a quick thank you note for their time.

It’s a small thing, but letting people know they are appreciated will go a long way and encourage them to want to speak with you again.

If you committed to sending an article or book refence, remember to follow up. You want this first meeting to set the tone for a future meaningful relationship.

Whether you’re building an offline or online network, the basics of professionalism and good manners stay the same.

Treat the other person the way you would wish to be treated and you can’t go wrong.

Happy Networking!

Self-awareness isn’t just a component of Emotional Intelligence that helps you with your career ambitions, it is also essential to coping with challenging times, change and how you respond to it.

Different people respond differently to change. Some go into a downward spiral while others find the inner strength to rise to the challenge.

Self-awareness is a strength that should be developed and maintained.

It’s knowing the state of your internal self, your intuitions, preferences, resources, and skills. Really, it’s about knowing that there is one thing you control in this life and it’s your perception of your world.

Self-awareness makes it easier to navigate difficult and unexpected situations when you’re in tune with your internal preferences.

But how Self-Aware are you?

Not sure? Sometimes checking indicators is a good method to find out as I share in the video blog. Prefer reading? The transcript is below the video.

Get your Self-Awareness Bundle here

Transcript

I’m curious, on a scale of 1 to 10, which 1 being a thumbs down and 10 being a thumbs up, are you already self-aware?

Have you reached the point where you can acutely understand any and every part of your body, being, and actions?

Self-awareness is a key trait essential to achieving true success and happiness in this life. You have to be aware of your actions and behaviours, body and mind, symptoms and limitations.

In this video blog post, I’ll help you identify just how self-aware you truly are right now and where you might need improvement with some common signs that you lack self-awareness.

If you notice these signs in yourself, it’s time to address the issue and adjust; don’t just sit idly by and watch it happen.

You’re a micromanager

Frankly speaking, no one likes to be micromanaged, whether it’s in the workplace or elsewhere. As a micromanager, you might not even realize you’re micromanaging your colleagues!

Some of the best excuses I’ve heard have included wanting things to be done perfectly or having too much at stake for things to go wrong or even the benevolent leader who thinks the that the person needs a little extra assistance or an extra push of encouragement.

Whatever the reasoning, you’re not taking into consideration how your micromanaging is affecting the other person.

Your desire to take controls is negatively impacting the very person you claim to be helping. Your micromanaging signals to them that you don’t trust them.

It also shows that you’re not self-aware enough to realize this.

To adjust: Challenge yourself to trust others and delegate your work.

You’re never at fault

This is a biggie!

We all can be guilty of shirking the blame or avoiding responsibility by placing the blame on someone else every once in a while.

If you find yourself frequently trying to deflect unwanted negative attention by passing off blame onto others, you’re not very self-aware and may be perceived as a person that’s dismissive and who avoids accountability.

To adjust: Work on receiving criticism better and owning your mistakes, shortcomings, and misunderstandings; take full blame and stop deflecting.

You’re not able to laugh at yourself

No one enjoys negative attention of any kind, least of all embarrassment.

There are some, however, that lash out at those around them in response to these moments, when they should laugh at themselves and let it go. If you’re unable to laugh at yourself, it could be a sign that you’re not self-aware.

To adjust: Try admitting to yourself what you’re feeling (anger, embarrassment or any uncomfortable feeling) and whether your response is over the top. Then modify your behavior.

You’re overly defensive

If you find yourself constantly getting defensive over general criticism or feedback, you aren’t being self-aware.

Being self-aware means you’re aware of your faults, flaws, and misgivings. You know you make mistakes and are ready to admit them and rectify them.

If you find the simplest of criticisms sending you spiraling off the deep end, this is something you’ll want to work on.

To adjust: Try changing how you view the feedback and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes; channel the feedback into positive improvements to your self-awareness and personhood.

You have a tendency to say things you don’t mean and later regret

When we get angry or hurt, we have a tendency to say things in the heat of the argument that we don’t mean and later wind up regretting.

This isn’t as big of a problem for those who are masters of their self-awareness; they thoroughly think through what they say and consider the impact the words will have on the world around them.

To adjust: Pause before you say something and think it through, including potential repercussions.

If you’ve been wanting to improve your self-awareness, there’s no time like the present.

I’ve only outlined 5 areas where you could be lacking self-awareness but there could be others that are more specific to you. In that regard I wanted to share with you the Karmic Ally Coaching Self Study Bundle on Self Awareness.

It’s a workbook as well as a guide. In the guide, you’re going to discover your True Self and become aware of what are your Motivators and also learn ways to improve your Self-Awareness. The workbook that I mentioned earlier is going to help you in recording your learning and is set up on a daily basis.

So you’re actually able to see the progress you’re making and if that sounds good to you then I encourage you to click the link below and download your own self-study workbook and guide.

That’s all for now. I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching signing off. Thanks for joining me for this vlog.

Please note:

Since Karmic Ally Coaching is offering non-tangible irrevocable goods we do not issue refunds once the order is accomplished and access is granted to the product. As a customer you are responsible for understanding this upon purchasing any item on this site.

Please note all digital products are non-refundable once payment is processed. This digital product is yours forever. If you have any questions or concerns, ask in advance of purchase at vatsala(at)karmicallycoaching(dot)com.

When I wrote my account about the micro manager who we nicknamed Big Brother Cat and the team feeling like a galley of mice on a slave ship, I must have hit a nerve somewhere because it was a highly visited and read post. For sure each one of us has known one (maybe even 2 or 3) at some point of time in our careers.

The truth is, controlling bosses can slow us down and undermine our confidence. Nobody, and I mean nobody likes a boss or supervisor who second guesses our decisions and expects us to be available round the clock. It’s often a reason for employee attrition and one area that any manager can improve upon.

A professional who has been recently promoted to manager might indulge in micro-management at the beginning despite the leadership courses his employers might have sent him not because he’s a nasty person but in reality, there is a learning curve involved from making the shift from an Executive who executes to a Manager who manages.

The Art of Delegation has to be learned as is overcoming the fear that they might not be successful in their new role.

Then again, there are more experienced managers who still engage in micro-management like Big Brother Cat. I suspect in his case it was the feeling of a lack of control. His team was working more with the Technical Manager on the assignment, and he was reduced to doing a PR and Admin role.

The need to micromanage might also arise because the manager might have been let down in the past.

Perhaps he had worked for a micromanaging boss and having had no other role model, imbibed this style of management. It can also be caused by a deep sense of insecurity.

Whatever the root cause, it leads to low morale in the team and lowers productivity.

Some time back, one of my clients told me about a boss whom she reported to through her immediate boss who had become a monster. Not literally but the language in his emails had taken on a tone that she wasn’t used to and she started to wonder if she had done anything wrong?

She was working weekends to meet an important regulatory deadline and was throwing her work life balance out of gear for this deadline.

Fortunately she had shared details of the assignment with me during a previous coaching call and as an outsider I sensed what might be causing the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde syndrome.

As a former Finance Director who had regulatory reporting requirements every quarter, I know the pressure to meet deadlines and report to the Board of Directors. Depending on the industry, there are key deliverables that are tied to the director’s remuneration, bonus and even job.

So, while the team might be working to the best of their ability, they are involved in a micro part of the delivery for which they are responsible but might not be aware of the big picture or how their work ties up to a bigger deliverable.

In such a case, a good boss would share the big picture with the team or at least his or her direct reports who would translate it down the line. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t.

Either way, the top boss does experience a sense of not being in control and powerless and voila, micromanagement manifests.

This is documented in Drake Baer’s article, Bosses Micromanage When They Feel Powerless.

One of the best ways to overcome this is to keep them in the loop with regular progress reports or if there is a roadblock, talk to them to tap into their wealth of experience and get some much required guidance.

The minute my client started sending weekly reports, the top boss went back to being normal.

Overbearing management styles are all too common and counterproductive. Most employees say they’ve been micro-managed at some point in their career, and studies show that workers perform worse when they feel like they’re being watched.

If your boss is hovering over your shoulder, encourage them to give you more space. Try these steps to gain more freedom and still get along with your boss.

5 Steps you can take to reduce Micromanagement

Assess if your performance is part of the problem.

Do you show up on time and follow through on your responsibilities? Close supervision could be a rational response when an employee tends to be less than reliable. Start out by investigating whether you could be contributing to the situation.

Be proactive.

Once you’ve assured yourself that you’re on top of your work, you can turn your attention to how to cope with your boss’s management style. Just as my client figured out that the top boss needed weekly progress reports and her silence creating stress, identify their anxiety triggers and figure out your plan of action in advance. (Bonus reading: 9 Signs Your Boss Is a Micromanager—and How to Handle Them)

Coordinate with colleagues.

Chances are your co-workers experience the same issues you do. Coordinate your efforts to show your boss that they can trust you to pull together to overcome challenges even while they’re traveling or focusing on strategy.

Document your activities.

Logging your accomplishments creates a paper trail. Having your facts straight helps you to prove your worth and maintain your peace of mind. This step is crucial in case the micromanagement is not because of the reasons I’m stating in this post, but a tactic that is being used to demonstrate your incompetence and an exit from the company (yes, this too happens in corporate politics).

Seek intervention.

When appropriate, you may be able to consult others without alienating your boss. If senior management asks for feedback, let them know your supervisor’s good qualities in addition to changes that could help you do a better job. Your HR department or employee assistance program may also offer relevant advice.

7 Ways to Manage the Micromanager

It takes self-confidence and high emotional intelligence to tackle a nitpick boss and to ensure that your work doesn’t suffer because of it.

I call it the Manage the Manager method and share tactics to ensure that your work is noticed while making your boss look good in Get Noticed!

You need to take charge of the situation before it takes charge of you and requires you polish your Emotional Intelligence skills.

Being proactive and empathetic will transform your relationship with a micromanaging boss. Learn to collaborate as a team, or at least maintain harmony. You’ll enjoy more autonomy as a result.

Here’s how I would do it.

1. Provide updates. Frequent status reports keep your boss informed without their having to ask. Assure them that things are running smoothly.
2. Build rapport and create a personal connection. Respect and compassion enhance any working relationship. Remind yourself of what you like about your boss. Make time for small talk and sharing common interests. A strong foundation will make any disagreement easier to handle.
3. Create more opportunities. Is your boss interfering with your work because they don’t have a full plate of their own? Add value by presenting them with public speaking opportunities and sales leads. Helping your boss to shine is a smart way to advance your own career.
4. Clarify your role. Listen closely to your boss and observe their behavior. That way you can understand their preferences and anticipate their needs. Maybe they like booking their own travel arrangements. Maybe they care more about employees following instructions than taking initiative.
5. Ask for feedback. Find out what your boss is thinking. Ask questions about what results they’re looking for and how you’re measuring up. Pinpoint strengths you can build on and changes that they would like to see.

Reinforce any positive interactions by letting your boss know how much you appreciate their efforts when you’re allowed to take charge of a project or find your own approach. Tell them that you enjoy working with them and that they’re helping you to contribute more.

We’ve all experienced micromanaging supervisors in our career and good professionals learn over time to mitigate the adverse effects of the Big Brother Cat Manager.

What micro-manager managing tips can you offer?

More often than not, the one area of help my clients ask for is for raising their visibility in the workplace and getting those meaty projects that could fast track their climb up the corporate ladder.

Part of the solution is raising their Executive Presence but if you want to stand out from the crowd or competition at work, then you need to be seen as an expert in your field.

This takes action on your part and not just walking around telling people that you’re an expert.

For sure, if you’ve got a professional qualification like being a CPA, people would consider you an expert compared to an accountant and yet during my corporate years, I have worked in companies where the person in the office who was perceived as The Expert didn’t have the qualifications!

This meant that colleagues were comfortable talking to them about their specific technical problems and had confidence in the non-CPA’s expertise and knowledge.

I’ve written about one of them, Rajesh, who was considered a walking encyclopedia  in my post on Self-Esteem Buckets.

In other words, the real perception lies with the observer and not the expert. If people think or call you an expert, then you are the expert. You need to manage perceptions! 

Tips for Finding Your Strengths and Developing Your Expertise

Believe it or not but each one of us is good at something. Expertise doesn’t necessarily require a college degree or professional qualification. It requires a passion for the topic and the willingness to learn.

For example, I have a mechanic who learned his craft under the apprenticeship of his father. When his father first started his business in Khan Market, he was into scooters and motor bikes and then graduated to vehicles.

His son is an expert now in imported cars and has taken the business further by setting up 2 workshops! I often go to him first for a diagnosis of my vehicle’s problem and take his advice before going to the authorized service dealer.

Your strength could be your oratory and motivational speaking or an artistic hand. The key is to figure out your strengths and become an expert at them.

How to Discover Your Expert Worthy Strengths

You can do your own assessment of what you think you’re good at and what you’re most comfortable doing. Here are a couple of ideas:

• Make a list. Think about all the responsibilities of your job and everything that’s expected of you. Now go through that list and put a star next to everything you excel at or enjoy doing. Don’t be modest; be honest with yourself!

• Study your list and meditate on your choices. Really focus your mind on the direction you want your career to take and which skills you need to sharpen to achieve your goals. Focus your attention on the skills that will immediately benefit you.

Discovering Your Strengths by asking others

The second way to discover your personal strengths is to talk to others. You may tend to believe you know what you’re good at, but when you talk to someone who sees you with fresh, unbiased eyes, you’ll get a completely different perspective.

• Don’t be afraid to approach your boss and ask him or her about your strengths. Be proactive! Take control of your career and take the necessary steps to improve your leadership skills and develop your expertise.

• Take additional training and development courses. Does your job or company offer any kind of continuing education programs? Are there training classes that sound interesting and pique your interest? Follow those instincts and register for the class to build upon the knowledge you already have.

Of course, you can ask your family and friends to characterize your strengths and weaknesses. They know you better than anyone else, so they’re more likely to be able to read between the lines and help you discover new things about yourself.

Chances are your friends and family won’t want to hurt your feelings by saying you’re no good at something, so instead, ask them to help you pick out your strengths. Or ask an open-ended question such as, “What jobs or skills do you think I have a talent for?”

Make sure you understand your family’s biases before making any big decisions.

How to Develop Your Expertise

Now that you’ve found your strengths, it’s time for you to bolster your expertise and become a true authority. This means you have to seek out opportunities to work on these skills.

For example, if speaking is your strength, consider taking a public speaking class at a local university to improve that skill. Take every opportunity to speak in front of groups, whether it’s a fundraiser, company meeting, giving a toast at a special event, or speaking to your child’s class.

Seek out the opportunities to practice your skill and take advantage of them. The goal is to find ways to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to sharpen your skills.

How to create the impression you’re an authentic expert

Everyone has the potential to be an expert at what they do.

Here are a few simple steps that you’ll need to follow first to be recognized as an expert.

Educate Yourself on the subject of your planned expertise

Once you have developed the expertise in your chosen area you need to maintain that knowledge.

Expertise is another word for knowledge and the onus is on you to keep yourself up to date with information about your topic and if you are in a specialized field like law, accounting or information technology, make sure you’re up to date with the developments in those areas.

It’s not just reading though – you need to know what you’re talking about.

There are 2 ways you can enhance your knowledge:

• Take courses, attend workshops and even seminars to help further your education and keep you up to date on the latest knowledge and technology. If self-paced study is easier for you, look up courses on Udemy and other online learning platforms.

• Read more. It doesn’t matter what you do as a profession, you need to take advantage of the vast knowledge in the library.

That’s why certain professionals like accounting and law require their qualification holders to do a minimum number of hours of study each year to maintain their right to use the title that goes with that qualification.

Own Your Knowledge

By expanding your knowledge you’ll also build your confidence which in turn will give confidence to others that you know your stuff.

I mean, have you ever hear an expert stutter and stammer and say they’re not sure? Of course not! You’ll hear the confidence in their voice and see it in their body language.

Everyone is an expert at something. The problem is, we often don’t realize our own expertise and take it for granted. Some coaches refer to it as your super power while others talk about unique selling proposition or USP.

The key is to discover it and step into it. Think of some knowledge or activity that you find easy to do or perform where others struggle and you’re on to finding your golden gift.

Even then if you have an issue or find it challenging to be confident, take the help of affirmative statements to help your subconscious mind accept you are an expert.

Declare it to the world with your elevator pitch, your business cards and on your social media profiles.

Demonstrate Your Knowledge

It’s one thing to talk about what you know, but it’s something else entirely to actually apply it.

Experts don’t walk around showing off about what they can do; they prove it by taking action and demonstrating their expertise by solving difficult problems and finding viable solutions.

 In other words, be proactive in your approach. Sometimes we don’t know the answer but we do know someone who does. Reach out to that other expert to help find the solution.

A true expert is always willing to learn new things and isn’t afraid to admit that they might not have the ideal solution and need help too. They also act with integrity.

Always Act With Integrity

Demonstrating knowledge isn’t the only thing experts do. They possess qualities of ethics, integrity and teaching. This means avoiding shortcuts and taking credit for things you haven’t done.

Skipping out on doing something the right way doesn’t make you an expert, however, this doesn’t mean that you have to do everything yourself.

There will always be things we’re not so good at. In those circumstances, you have to learn how to delegate those responsibilities to others who have the skills required to get the job done.

Part of being a good expert is seeing the strengths and weaknesses of others and how their talents can be put to good use.

You can and should delegate tasks where required and teach your team using hands on approach.

Wise leaders and the most incredible of experts don’t do everything themselves. They have a talented team around them who have the skills they themselves lack.

Acknowledge your people for doing a good job and where there is scope for improvement, follow the golden rules for effective feedback.

This also raises your stature with your team and co-workers which in turn enhances your Executive Presence.

Learn the skill of Effective Communication  

People have to understand what you can do and why you’re the best one to do it.

This means that you have to understand and foresee the questions and concerns of others, then prepare and articulate the answers and solutions to them.

I learned a lot about getting messages across from my furry family member Miss Coco during the time the Northern Grid had tripped leaving the entire North India region without electricity.

Pick up the effective communication tips from the canine here.

By following these simple steps you’ll become the person with the answers. These are the experts who become irreplaceable and well respected.

Do you convey the message of being an expert with your actions and words?