I’m sure you’d agree with me when I say the prospects of a new boss at work can be daunting especially if an outsider has been hired. New relationships have to be forged with a complete stranger and new working styles adapted to.

But what if the new boss is not an outside hire but someone who used to be your coworker?

Let me be honest, you can make a graceful transition from being a peer to being a direct report provided you do it the right way.

Both the new boss and your Emotional Intelligence as well professionalism will be put to the test.

It happened a few years ago with one of my clients, Reena (name changed for confidentiality purposes) who had been vying for a promotion which went to another colleague and the coaching topic was handling the new situation.

Fortunately, my client and her colleague shared a good rapport. The issue for Reena was one of making adjustments to the professional relationship while also dealing with her disappointment.

As it turned out, there were others who had also wanted that particular promotion.

I pointed out that this was the time to demonstrate support where others were hanging out at the water cooler engaging in other kinds of conversations.

Things turned out well and at her first performance appraisal, her new boss thanked her for the support. He too had been concerned about it as a first-time manager. There had been challenges with other co-workers, but Reena’s professional approach had made things easier for him.

He arranged for her to get departmental sponsorship for a course. This ultimately led to her getting another job within the organization and fast-tracking her career progression.

I’d love to say adapting to change in status quo happened overnight but it didn’t. There was inner work and actions required to be taken by Reena while she also learned the technique of managing the Manager.

In this post, I’m sharing the shifts and actions that worked in this situation and will help you too if faced with a similar situation.

3 mindset changes you need to embrace for success

Reena knew things had changed. Even though she shared a good rapport with her new boss, that rapport was one of colleagues and not a direct reporting relationship. She was concerned about redefining boundaries and maintaining a professional relationship.

1. Accept your feelings and disappointment

 There’s no denying that you will experience a sense of disappointment at being passed over for the position for which you would have worked hard to demonstrate your being the best choice for candidature. It is natural.

 To be able to move forward and demonstrate your professionalism, the first step is to accept these feelings and emotions. Acknowledging them facilitates the next step of change.

2. Don’t allow uncertainty to affect your confidence

Stay self-assured. Missing out on the promotion does not in any way devalue what you bring to the table. Reassure yourself and stay strong. The change might actually be a good one as it turned out for my client!

Build your resilience for the changes that are coming with a good self-care regime which will include rest, nutrition, meditation and exercise. Draw on your strengths and remember your achievements.

If you are still fearful, try the exercise in this post to take the sting out of your fear of uncertainty.

3. Clarify your intentions

The situation cannot be changed unless you intend to quit and find a new job. A better way to adapt to change is to examine how you feel towards the new boss. Your intentions and motives will definitely affect your new relationship.

Simply deciding that you intend to be supportive won’t be effective unless you are able to accept that the new boss has certain strengths which you saw as a co-worker and which will be of value in his new role as a boss.

Ask yourself, will you be supportive because you genuinely respect the person? Or will you use your knowledge to your advantage?

In Reena’s case, she knew the manager was a man of logic. If she made a sound business case for her requests within the perimeters of his sphere of influence, a lot could be achieved that would benefit the department as well as her own career goals.

Reena used the new situation as a learning opportunity. She knew the new boss must have done something right to have received the promotion.

One of her agreed coaching actions was to observe her new boss paying particular attention to how he operated and his interactions with senior management. Without realizing it, she found a mentor at work and a role model that helped her become a better leader when she changed jobs.

Reena chose to be supportive of the new boss. She knew he had certain strengths that made him a good leader with expert and referent power bases and he was a fair person.

The decision to be supportive was demonstrated in her staying away from the water cooler gossip sessions, speaking well of her new promoted colleague and using her own referent power base to help other department members adjust to the new structure.

Her efforts were acknowledge by her new boss who supported her professional development needs and arranged sponsorship for different courses that Reena needed to achieve her department task goals.

Make your new relationship work like a true professional

Whether you’ve been close allies or friendly rivals in the past, you can learn to thrive under the new leadership by using your Emotional Intelligence skillset and maintaining an air of professionalism.

Try these suggestions for restructuring your professional relationship.

Extend congratulations

No matter how you are feeling, protocol and good manners are a must. Remember the colleague too has worked hard for the promotion and deserves to be congratulated on their success.

Express a genuine delight on their achievement and state your support to them in their new role. Go the extra distance by referring to at least 1 quality about them that you like.

Follow up with a quick email repeating your thoughts. This may appear trivial but your new boss will remember your action.

Offer genuine support

Helping your boss succeed enhances your own future. I go into more tactics in my book Get Noticed but for now, make sure the support you offer is valuable.

The co-worker is settling into a new role and would need help while fitting into the ‘new shoes’ of a manager. Be generous by volunteering information that will help them to become familiar with their expanded responsibilities. Take responsibility for your actions and dazzle them with creative proposals.

Remember, when you make your boss look good, you look good too!

Suggest regular meetings to keep track of the work that you are doing and be open to accepting feedback.

Establish healthy boundaries

Setting boundaries is important for both of you in transitioning into the new relationship. Discussions about health and family over lunch or a coffee break between 2 peers is now out of the question. It could affect your career. Decide on the extent of personal information you will share.

One big advantage of this situation is you already know your boss from the time you’ve spent working together as co-workers. While your roles have changed, you have the required background and information to be proactive in making the new relationship work. You can render the right level of support.

Management never misses a trick. You will be seen as a co-operative colleague when compared to others. That 1 little difference often opens the doors for better career advancement in the future like it did for Reena.

How would you conduct yourself if a colleague got a promotion you had been angling for and became your boss?

The ability to apply Emotional Intelligence in this situation requires a high sense of Self-Awareness. This resource will come in useful.

There are good bosses and great bosses. Then there are bosses whom you remember years later for all the wrong reasons.

The deal breaker here is their personality type and how they treat their subordinates and team members.

In the course of your career, you will meet many supervisors and managers. You’ll meet the ones that will lead you and mentor you to reach your highest potential. They’ll endorse you on LinkedIn years after you have left the company where you worked with them.

You can contact when you’ve hit a rough patch requesting them to be a reference and they will gladly do it.

Your relationship with them will transcend the workplace to form a bond for a lifetime.

On the other hand, the Boss could also be one who makes Frankenstein look like a kitten – the Boss from Hell.

I still remember the Service Line Partner in my last corporate job calling an urgent meeting with the Senior Managers to discuss a surge in attrition rates. The firm invested a lot of money in its staff’s development. The partnership was concerned about the loss of its main asset – qualified manpower.

The official reason cited during exit interviews was work life balance and as the next level of management, we were encouraged to assess and change the situation.

At a deeper level, I noticed certain managers whose teams had the highest turnover were the ones who were known to be difficult. As a Technical Resource Manager who worked on assignments with floating resources, it was easier for me to see the problem was connected with personalities and how the professional handled the situation.

There are some great bosses out there, and I speak from experience. My 2 mentors were the best bosses I ever had but for some of us, it takes years to find them.

Until then we believe the Great Boss is either a mythological creature like the Unicorn or a figment of someone’s imagination translated into a management book on utopian management.

Surviving in the corporate jungle with a stress creating boss

In the real world, there are all types of bosses with whom one has to work requiring special survival skills, particularly in a highly political organization.

This week, I’m walking down memory lane looking at 5 difficult boss personality types. Use my off the cuff tips for survival, managing the boss or situation and getting some peace of mind.

Indifferent Boss

This Boss really does not care about anything other than keeping his job and avoids managing conflict. It is possible that this Boss rose through the ranks through natural promotions or because people left, and the slot became empty.

This Boss does not mean any harm but does not mean any good either. The plus point of working for this boss is that if you are driven and like to work independently, you can. You don’t want to work, don’t.

Beware though, when it comes to annual appraisal time, you might find the rug pulled from under your feet.

Survival Tip: Work for the organization, raise your profile and let the Top Brass relocate you to a more challenging area of the organization.

2 useful resources that you can use are:

Karmic Ally Coaching’s Free Executive Presence Checklist Click here or on the image below

Soft Cushion Boss

In contrast to the Indifferent Boss, this Boss would have read up on a lot of management articles and books. He is ready to offer mentor services and free advice at the drop of a hat.

The door is always open for chats. You tend to get so taken in with this boss that you don’t mind when asked to stay late or even work on weekends.

This boss is not very good at conflict management and actually dislikes confrontation. You might find yourself complaining to him and feeling better when showered with praise for your abilities.

But so would the colleague with whom you have a conflict.

At the end of the day, no issue will be resolved. Your work life balance will go for a toss while you sing praises of Boss to anyone who will listen.

Years later, when you have moved on, you will realize that Soft Cushion Boss was responsible for your leaving your job. Even though you might have quoted balance and other issues in your exit interview. You’d be feeling guilty about leaving boss behind.

Survival Tip: Understand that boss is not a replacement for a parent, use the open door policy prudently and work on your own conflict management skills.

Diplomatic Boss

This Boss is cool, suave and has a razor sharp brain. He runs a smooth department, never makes anyone angry and will meet every target.

He sees the Big Picture and knows how he is going to win the race. He will analyze each issue and take required action accordingly.

Like the Soft Cushion Boss, he is a good listener (too good in fact) and knows how to get work out of subordinates.

These bosses often attain powerful positions within the organization and in order to piggy back to success; you will need to align your goals to be the Boss’s goals.

Survival Tip: Review your career aspirations and prepare a logical business case for your own goals. Be circumspect when dealing with this category Boss. Keep your secrets to yourself.

You would also need to polish up your negotiation skills.

Pain in the Neck Boss

This Boss cannot be pleased. A perfectionist to the core, the very act of delegating is traumatic.

You simply cannot do the job well, even if you put in the late hours, work weekends and cancel your leave.

Some clues indicate grumbling co-workers, high attrition rates in your department and being called in just as you are about to go home for a review or task which could either have been scheduled for earlier in the day. Or is not quite that urgent and important other than the fact that boss is making it so.

A good example is the Big Brother Cat style Manager.

Survival Tip: Develop a thick skin, do your job to the best of your abilities and update your resume for use if required.

Mean Boss

This Boss is very mean and does not like anyone to take credit for any good work.

Sometimes hidden under the Soft Cushion Boss or Diplomatic Boss camouflage he will represent to the outside world that he has done the job while you squirm.

If any attributes or credit has to be given, be prepared that it will only happen when things go wrong, and a fall guy is required. Worse yet, admonitions will be copied to a number of people up the seniority chain to discredit the employee.

Survival Tip: You might have visions of playing dirty with this boss but know that meanness can be inborn and this Boss is the master of his game so you might be out of your league.

If you choose to play office politics; proceed with caution, stay a step ahead and find supporters. In fact play positive politics.

Parting Advice for taking back control in the workplace

A lot of the power that the Boss has over you is due to the organizational structure and line reporting.

Just because the boss may make your life difficult at times doesn’t mean quitting and finding a new job. There may be a better fit with another supervisor. Besides, you will run into these types sooner or later.

The better route is to be assertive, know where to draw the line and establish healthy boundaries.

Maintain open dialogue with the boss. Read the HR policy of your organization and consult the Human Resources department before taking any drastic steps.

There may be a way out without having to leave the organization or at least leave knowing that you did your best to survive.

Going forward, when you are the boss, at least you’ll know what you don’t want your reporting colleagues to experience. You’ll have a clearer idea of the leadership style you want to develop.

Are there any difficult boss personality types that I’ve missed out?

Tell us more about them with a tip to manage them in the comments box below.

This post was originally titled Do you know the category of your boss? It has been updated for relevance in 2024.

Written By: Vatsala Shukla

The One On The Highest Chair by Frits Ahlefeldt

Have you or anyone you know ever missed out on a well-deserved promotion at work?   Quite possibly there could be a business economics case in it or worse, you’ve lost out to office politics. In either case, you need to have your finger on the pulse of what’s going on in the background.

Here’s how it goes.

You work hard the whole year round and more than meet your agreed Key Performance Objectives. You get an inflation indexed pay increment but that is about all you get. Other colleagues at work who may not have your caliber get promoted up the corporate ladder while you slip into the cracks of the corporate floor.

That dear reader is when Promotion Plateau happens.

If you aren’t careful this will continue to happen unless you take active measures to ensure you can’t be ignored. Later, having exhausted all options you cop out and head for greener pastures with better career progression opportunities.

Quite possibly, you have reached the highest level that you can go for your grade, or the company has gone into freeze mode due to the economics of the organization. They are only promoting junior staff with the view to avoid attrition because they believe more senior staff won’t jump ship.

The promotion may be one of title with no new fringe benefits and an increment that isn’t worth thinking about post taxes. It hurts because you’ve done the hard work and justifiably expect a commensurate reward.

Or it could be the result of a mean, manipulative and powerful manager promoting his flunkies, a sad but often seen reality in the cutthroat corporate world.

That’s the one that hurts to the core of the heart. Especially when we aren’t inclined to engage in dirty politics and aren’t willing to barter our Soul for the prize. Mud wrestling isn’t everyone’s preferred style of getting promotions and only the aggressor enjoys it.

There are ways that you can help yourself if you find you’ve become a pawn in the political chess game of promotions while staying in integrity with your core values.

Why it’s important to have a champion when politics plays a key role in your promotion

Many of us prefer to steer clear of office politics but unless you have a Godfather or influential supporter who can right the wrongs, you need to know some of the basics.

A true story about how I accidentally found myself in the Champion role

Many years ago, I had the opportunity to assist in course correcting the career of a very competent professional who had run afoul of his immediate reporting Manager who had the ‘ear of the Boss’.

He worked hard, he delivered on time and he took initiative. Yet the rewards were not given and for 4 years, he was bypassed for promotion at the annual Managers Meeting because his reporting Manager had labeled him as having an attitude problem. Since no one else had worked with him no one challenged the Manager.

That changed when he was loaned out for a project to me, a new Manager at the time, who did not know about the politics or this young man’s situation. The young professional’s work spoke for him. Yes, there was an attitude problem which started to disappear as the professional realized that this manager had her own way of working and supported her team.

When the annual Managers Meeting came around, this young man’s name was about to be bypassed again until I spoke up and gave instances of this person’s work. Championing a worthy candidate is the least one can do to prevent miscarriage of promotion.

The other Managers had to rethink it and the matter was finally referred to the top management and Head of Human Resources. There was a happy ending after all.

The professional got his long overdue promotion and was made a Manager himself within 18 months. I’ve followed his career since then and presently he has his own company and is flourishing while the Manager who had the ear of the boss,  from what my former colleagues tell me, didn’t make Partner  for which he had made everyone’s life miserable finally quit the company.

How to get promoted from Pawn to King with Integrity

There is always some level of politics in any organization that one works in. It may not be as toxic or extreme as the incident in this post, yet there are tips and techniques that can help you keep your finger on the promotion pulse. If you are in a similar situation, I suggest that you try them before updating your Curriculum Vitae and searching for new pastures.  You can also talk to me.

Tip 1: Nurture good and cordial relations

The first and most important action that can affect your promotion is to maintain good relations with your superiors. If possible, maintain this relation up to 2-3 levels upward.

Maintain good relations with your peers and juniors. They count too. When engaging in reputation management, receiving good or neutral feedback from them can negate any spoiler that your immediate boss or others might be playing. Cordial relations also help in dealing with backstabbers in the office.

Tip 2: Make sure you don’t fall behind in your professional development

An often overlooked area is updating one’s professional knowledge. We live in a fast moving world. Ensure that you remain in the promotion race, by keeping track of your professional development needs and taking up the necessary courses and training to close the gap. If the company won’t sponsor it, pay for it yourself.

Tip 3: Don’t just do what you are told to do but do what needs to be done

Make yourself a valued team player and driver of efficiency and effectiveness. Your performance must be above reproach. When your work is good and you deliver as required or more than required on time, it becomes difficult to ignore the work and the worker. If a task that has been delegated to you requires more work, do it.

Make a record of the additional steps you took to get the job done and let your supervisor know that you thought beyond the actual instructions to make it work. In short, be proactive, take initiative. Remember to make notes of what and how you took actions beyond the call of duty and the results achieved. These notes will come in handy during your Performance Reviews and Annual Appraisals.

This brings me back to my post Step up to the plate if you really want your career to go places.

I also recommend reading Bob Nelson’s book

Please Don’t Just Do What I Tell You! : Do What Needs to be Done 

which is also available on Kindle

Tip 4: Take measures to raise your Executive Presence

Not only do you need to do good work, you also need to get noticed for your work. This means taking the necessary steps to raise your Executive Presence and strategically positioning yourself for that promotion.

You and you alone can make a difference to your career. When it comes to raising your Executive Presence, help is on hand.

I’ve covered many useful tips that have worked for me and my clients in this Kindle ebook. All you have to do is acquire my book Get Noticed!. Select those tips that will work in your situation.

Tip 5: Play positive politics

Just as one can play dirty politics, one can also play positive politics. The 4 tips that I shared above will help you with this. Be appreciative of your colleagues and help them when you know you can. Thank them when they help you out. Remember the secretaries and executive assistants who can help you get important meetings if the need arises with the people who matter.

For example, if there is Tea Lady or Office Boy who does deliveries, be as courteous to them as any other office worker. Help a colleague out with their work if you have spare time and can give tips or knowledge to get the work done faster.

Feedback about you can reach the people who matter in the most extraordinary ways, as I learned to my amusement when one of the Partners to whom I reported casually mentioned that the security guard in my office in Jamaica had nicknamed me Sunshine because I smiled and said good morning to him in the mornings.

How do I mitigate the dirty politics and keep my finger on the pulse of what’s happening?

Unless you’re a psychic or have hidden cameras all over the place, you really wouldn’t know what’s going on.  Yet you can be alert.

That’s why you need to be heavily networked within your organization and make it a point to nurture relationships with colleagues both within and outside your department. One good way of doing this is strike up conversations, smile and meet up in the office canteen over lunch. Share information when required and be alert to nuggets that you hear for future reference.

Quite often, your colleagues may not want to play dirty politics or backstab you. Know that if they are vying for the same plum job or promotion, human nature kicks in.

One way of finding out which way the wind is turning is to observe changes in the behavior of the colleague or the person on whose recommendation your promotion is hinged.

Here are some pointers:

Has the boss stopped inviting you to important meetings?

Are you finding yourself restricted with the resources you need to complete your work?

Are you in the loop when it comes to information distribution?

When you speak at meetings or ask for information are you being cut short?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then don’t jump to conclusions immediately. Quite possibly the other person is going through their own tough time and can’t share it with you.

But if the behavior continues and you find more supporting evidence of weirdness and get your finger on that pulse,

Consider casually mentioning the change in behavior to a trusted colleague who may know more couched in terms of concern.

You could also gently have a chat with the person and ask if you’ve done something wrong and clear the air. That would get any backstabber to back off because they know you are onto them.

You could also follow the tips that I share in my post on Dealing with Backstabbers at Work.

If despite all your efforts, you find you can’t compete and the company culture and environment isn’t supporting you, then perhaps you should consider moving. But not before you’ve exhausted all options to stay.

As always, do let me know how it is going.

Have you ever lost out to a promotion because someone’s favorite was obliged? How did you handle it? Have you ever been a victim of corporate politics? What did you do?

Please do leave a comment below and share your experience with me. If you prefer, drop me a line via the connect form. I’m waiting to hear from you!

Written by : Vatsala Shukla

Image Credit: Upward by Erin Childs

You will find politics in any situation where there are a group of people striving for a particular reward. The problem really starts when one of the players begins to play dirty.

The reason for this depends a lot on the individual or the situation. Maybe the person is ambitious and feels that the only way to get to the top is to eliminate competition. This is very much like the Killer personality in Game Mechanics.

It may be the nature of the person to gossip and reveal information shared in confidence. They try to show that they are in the know.

Unfortunately, even the best of professionals can get drawn into this dirty game. It isn’t just to get ahead of their competitors. This also happens when their organization is downsizing and they are scared of losing their jobs.

Their primitive survival instincts kick in and they do what they have to do.

It doesn’t bother them that it might mean hurting a colleague who is not playing the game.

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In this week’s short video, I’m sharing a few tips and pointers on how to deal with backstabbing at the workplace. You can do it with dignity, grace and more importantly, professionalism.

Handling Backstabber Resources mentioned in the video

Whip Your Career Into Submission: The 30-day Plan to Transform Yourself from Job Slave to Master of Your Own Destiny by Karen Salmonsohen

Power of Positive Confrontation by Barbara Pachter

Get Noticed!:  15 Insider Tips guaranteed to improve your Executive Presence by Vatsala Shukla

Bonus Free Resource to manage Workplace Politics with grace and ease

Politics will happen whenever there are people with their own goals and agendas. The question is, do you want to allow it to affect your career or use your actions in a positive way?

Have you ever been a victim of corporate backstabbing? How did you tackle it? Please share!

Video Created by Vatsala Shukla