What drives you?

I was asked this question back in 2007 when I was on the verge of leaving the corporate world to start my own IFRS consulting business during the adoption of those accounting standards in India.

My office had shifted to a neighboring city but with the Metro and Airport Highway construction work, I was spending 5 hours a day commuting.

Relocating residence was not an option for my family. By then I’d already had my wake up call regarding my health and the need to change my lifestyle.

The querant was a lady introduced to me by a mutual professional contact who felt we could both benefit as she was looking for a person with my specific subject matter expertise to facilitate training in New Delhi on a contract basis and who also had the contacts for business development.

She owned a publishing company with live training being a secondary revenue stream.

The project didn’t work out because when I saw the contract and ran it through my lawyer, it was an employment contract with terms and conditions that even a bonded laborer wouldn’t have signed in India, if they knew what was good for them.

Besides, she told someone else with whom I was in talks for projects to keep away as she was interested in my knowledge and skills and that person obliged but not before telling me why he was backing out.

It was flattering to know she wanted me to come onboard but I was made to feel like a commodity rather than a serious professional who had a lot to bring to the table for an all-round win-win outcome. That’s another story for another time.

But yes, I walked away from both and went on to do work on projects that made me happy and kept me self-driven towards my purpose.

What she was asking me at that point was more about how self-driven I was and my end goal.

A good question when you consider I was walking away from a 6 figure salary with one of the biggest accounting firms in the world when the next rung of the ladder was partnership or becoming a Director, to follow my own ideas and passion.

As you can see, with Karmic Ally Coaching, I’ve arrived where I wanted to go and the journey continues as I have found my calling and purpose in life.

It’s a great feeling to find one’s purpose in life because you suddenly know where you should go and what you want to do!

But just as finding your purpose is important, it’s also important to make sure your purpose is self-driven.

Because if it isn’t, it may as well never get accomplished.

You’ve seen it on LinkedIn profiles but do you know what Self-Driven means?

Let’s go back to basics for a moment. When someone is self-driven, this means they are completely self-motivated to achieve their goals.

They get up every day and do what they have to do to get where they want to go.

They don’t need any exterior form of motivation or carrots being dangled in front of them because they are their own motivation. This makes it easy for them to accomplish things, because they want to do them.

They might need a mentor or coach to help them when they hit a rough patch on the way but they know where they are going.

Additionally, self-driven people don’t waste time. They take action in the now and don’t put off doing things that they can get done today.

Frankly speaking, you’ll never find a self-driven person sitting at home on the couch doing affirmations and visualizing that they were getting things done or hoping for a new job or promotion expecting it to happen.

To make the Law of Attraction work, you still need to take Deliberate Action!

How to tell if your Purpose is Self-Driven?

Now that we understand the meaning of self-driven, the next step is to identify if our purpose qualifies.

When you have found a purpose in life that is self-driven, it won’t feel like a chore to work towards it. Rather you will enjoy every minute that you spend pursuing your passion.

If you feel that someone has to drag you out of bed to complete your purpose, then there is definitely a chance that it isn’t self-driven. It’s a sign you need to reflect and introspect and figure it out.

Coming back for a minute to the bonded labour contract, I was talking to Beata, an old friend back in Warsaw, on the phone about it at the time.

She told me that while my lawyer could vet it for unfair terms and conditions, I should look at myself and how I was feeling.

She could make out the opportunity didn’t make my ‘heart sing’.

Besides having walked away from a job that others would have given their right arm for, it wasn’t my purpose because I would not have followed my dream to ‘fly solo’.

Beata was right, of course.

Why Should Your Purpose Be Self-Driven?

The simple answer is that if you don’t have the motivation to achieve your goals, then they will most likely never get done or will be a half-baked effort.

It’s the same thing about finding your purpose but lacking the drive to move towards it. It’s as good as simply daydreaming, chanting, affirming and expecting things to fall into place. It won’t happen.

If you want to accomplish your purpose, then make sure it is a self-driven one that you feel pushed to work towards successfully achieving.

But there’s more to this and it’s all about you.

You need to understand that your needs, wants and sense of purpose changes over time.

What’s important at the beginning of your career like getting a great job and the ability to get a loan to purchase your first home isn’t the same as it will be when you’re 25 years into your career.

At that point, your aspirations will change and you would be looking at avenues to fulfill your self-realization goals.

That’s what happened with me and what’s happening with a lot of people who are now part of The Great Resignation or Big Quit that got a boost from the pandemic and work from home aspect of a job.

Our focus has changed and so have our goals. If that sounds like you, then click here and download Life Focus in 7 Days.

It’s a good guide to use for a new beginning or to start in a new direction, whether in your life or career.

3 Simple Ways to increase your Self-Drive

Are you self-driven to achieve your purpose? Or feel you need to up your game? Especially when it comes to your career path?

If you’re discovering that your purpose maybe isn’t as self-driven as you thought, don’t fret, as there are some easy ways to increase your drive to help you achieve goals.

Take Responsibility

You’re the only person who is truly in charge of your life and you need to realize that. There is no one hovering your shoulder telling you what to do.

If you want to make a change, it’s time to get up and do it for yourself, because you are responsible.

Realizing this, and taking responsibility for the things that are happening in your life is the first step to increasing your self-drive.

Find a New Purpose

A key indicator that your goals might not be the right ones for you is if you’re struggling to achieve them and just soldiering on because that’s what’s expected of you.

Take a pause and a step back. Not everyone is cut out for everything.

I remember during my trainee days in London I had a great audit supervisor who suddenly handed in her papers.

Why?

She’d realized she didn’t want to become a Chartered Accountant! That too after passing the first level of exams with barely a year to complete the mandatory training required by our Institute.

Her knowledge and experience wasn’t lost but could be transferred to another career or line of work.

Don’t be afraid to start over and don’t be afraid to abandon something that just isn’t working.

If you aren’t feeling inspired by something, you will never be able to make it your self-driven purpose.

Wondering if your purpose is the real one? Ask yourself these 5 Key Questions to Discover your Life Purpose.

Or it might even be the case that you were self-driven until external forces that were beyond your control changed everything.

Maybe that’s the wakeup call you need to start your journey towards your true purpose. If that’s your case, then the roadmap provided in Wakeup Call: What happens when you accept your Call to Adventure will guide you.

Create a Plan

Sometimes, all you need to get yourself to become driven is to make an action plan for yourself. An action plan can make it easier to see where you are going in life and help inspire you to get moving.

But remember that a plan alone isn’t enough and you will definitely need to take responsibility as well!

Overall, when you think you’ve found your purpose in life, be sure to take a minute and ask yourself if it is a self-driven purpose.

This is important when it comes to knowing if you’ll be able to accomplish it. But if it is self-driven, you’re well on your way to success.

In the second part of this series, I’ll give you more guidance about finding your life purpose but for now, here’s a question to consider.

Are you self-driven when it comes to your career and life decisions?

Isn’t it amazing how an otherwise minor event in one’s life can lead to many learning experiences?

That’s been the case with Mission Sofa Shopping from my post ‘How to Influence People with Authentic Persuasion’ that led to reflections on staying motivated to complete the bigger goals that we set for ourselves.

I’d love to say there was a happy ending with the shop fulfilling its promise to deliver in 10 days of placing the order but it took us over 3 weeks to get the new sofa set.

Suddenly a simple purchase acquired the status of a goal to get the sofa set as soon as possible because I had a buyer for the old one (which happened very quickly, I must say).

I needed to make sure all the moving parts were in sync because 1 slip up would have upset the entire apple cart. A SMART Goal was established and I got to work.

Mission Sofa Shopping now transformed into Project Sofa Delivery got me thinking about Goal Achievement and the role of rest to maintain and motivation to achieve the goal.

Here’s what happened.

Last week Wednesday I cornered the shop where we had placed the order for the new sofa set and reminded them they were 2 weeks overdue. To my surprise, they said we could come to inspect it the next day and lo behold the set was ready.

They were ready to send it that evening itself but I had to first go to the bank and get the balance of money out because they wanted a cash payment and also arrange with the buyer of the old sofa set to take it before the new one came home.

All went according to plan – money withdrawn on Thursday afternoon and old sofa set given a wistful and sentimental adieu on Friday and then the wait for the new one to arrive at 6 pm.

Thank God my Mom decided to check with the sofa maker at 4 pm if they had loaded the new set only to be told they would send it the next day because they forgot the delivery was due that day!

To cut a long story short, my Mom talked to them the way only a Mom can talk and the time was rescheduled for 9 pm that evening because of traffic rules about trucks being off the road during rush hour.

Then the poor delivery man got lost! The furniture arrived by 9.30 pm and by 10 pm, we had a new sofa set and a very upset dog in the house.

Miss Coco is almost 11 years old and the activity of strange people coming into the house and removing sofa sets and then even stranger people coming late at night during her walk time to replace it with something new was not fun.

By Saturday morning, the only thing I wanted to do was drink coffee and generally rest.

I listed my weekend To Do List Tasks and plugged them into my Ken Blanchard’s Quadrant. That approach is similar to the Covey Quadrant which many people are more familiar with. Let’s say nothing there fell in the Covey style Urgent and Important or Not Urgent and Important slots.

I decided I needed a break.

I mean, if I made it a point not to work on weekends during my corporate world years unless there was a deadline that required all hands on deck, then why couldn’t I, the boss of Karmic Ally Coaching do the same?

After all, our employers did give us compensatory time off to rest and rejuvenate.

Especially since I had achieved a major goal? Did I dare to take the same advice that I give my stressed out clients?

Couldn’t I defer all the other goals I had? Especially if my life didn’t depend on them?

In fact, taking a short break between goal completions is important.

The Motivation Factor in the Realm of Goals

Keeping yourself motivated when you have a list of goals can certainly be a challenge. Imagine having a to-do list of pressures that you’ve put on yourself – that’s basically what a list of goals is.

If you’re not motivated to get them done, you can soon find yourself giving up and never making any goals again.

Focus on what is important to you, and let everything else go. Scan all areas of your life and clear out the internal and external clutter, and you’ll experience remarkable transformation.

Rest and rejuvenate. Do what matters and release the rest.

Simple as it might sound, these principles apply even when we’re dealing with long term big picture goals.

Here are 5 quick ways to make sure you stay on track and motivated to meet your goals.

Give yourself incentives

You should be thinking about this when you’re making the goals. How will you benefit once the goal is completed? Will you get more than just a sense of achievement?

Goals focused on qualifications and exams, for example, are beneficial to you since you will have a qualification for the rest of your life if you pass.

For goals which are less incentivized and require an extra push, promise yourself a new wardrobe or a new pair of shoes or even a premium perfume if you complete it within your desired time frame.

These rewards will also remind you of previous achievements when you start to feel stuck in new goal completions.

Bonus Tip: Learn to celebrate your small Successes.

Talk to others

Discuss your goals with other people if you feel comfortable doing so. Thousands of people make goals every year, so you’re bound to know somebody you could talk to about them.

It could give you inspiration, and you could get some useful tips off them on how they manage to complete their goals or how they maintain motivation.

If people in your circle haven’t faced your particular challenge, look around in your social media groups and raise a discussion.

You’d be surprised at the amount of knowledge and experience is available within the community.

I’ve seen discussions ranging from selling a house and purchasing a new one, cataract surgeries and lately even one on root canal treatments!

Don’t see your goals in isolation

Those who view their goals in isolation are often less likely to meet them. Rather than viewing your goal as just a number or another goal, think about other goals you have and ways it ties into them.

For example, you may have your sights set on a particular role at work or on a promotion that you will be eligible for in 2 years’ time.

Achieving the Key Performance Indices set by your boss in a systematic manner by remembering that each of the goals in your annual performance plan will help you meet your targets and even motivate you to raise your game and do more to demonstrate you have what it takes.

Adopt a favorite stress management technique to help you keep your mind calm and focused

My all-time favorite is Transcendental Meditation (TM) that I have been practicing since my internship days in London.

I found it helped me cope with the pressures of a full day’s work at my employers and still have the energy and required focus to study for my Chartered Accountant exams in the evening- my big picture goal at the time as I knew the qualification would open doors for my desired career.

TM is a simple technique practiced 20 minutes twice each day while sitting comfortably with the eyes closed.

Unlike other forms of meditation, this practice involves no concentration, no control of the mind, no contemplation, no monitoring of thoughts. It automatically allows the active thinking mind to settle down to a state of inner calm.

In addition to calming the mind and improving focus, a new study by investigators from The Center for Wellness and Achievement in Education (CWAE) discovered school district staff in California who practiced TM for four months had significant improvements in emotional intelligence and perceived stress.

Another good tool is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or Tapping. This technique involves tapping on meridian points while articulating the problem and then reframing it to shift the mindset to one of solution orientation.

And my favourite!

Give yourself a break

Life shouldn’t be all about targets and meeting your goals, whether they are personal or work-related. Take some time to give yourself a break every now and then.

When you go on vacation, for example, try not to think about your goals as much and use the time to reflect.

Many people take one day a week to relax from fitness goals, or an entire weekend to stop thinking about work.

After Project Sofa Delivery, I took the entire weekend off with no social media, no client work and nothing that required exertion in order to recoup my energy and start the next week on a fresh note and focus on other important goals that had been deferred.

Final thoughts on big picture goals

It’s easy to think of and set big picture goals and we might believe that Goal setting is an intuitive process that results in achievement.

But there are a few specific rules to goal setting that make the process much more efficient, and effective!

Set Yourself Up for Success from the Beginning

Huge, lofty goals are the best goals – and everyone should have big goals! The end goal, the big one, can be as big as you’d like, but make sure that’s not the only goal you set.

Smaller interim goals are necessary to ensure your road to success is a smooth one. It becomes too overwhelming to set one goal even if it is a great end goal.

For example in my book Money Success Secret: Alchemy of Mindset and Management, I approach Finance Goals and Money Management from the perspective of having big goals and byte size goals that lead up to our ultimate end goal.

Set Realistic Goals

Be realistic with your goals. For example, if purchasing a new car in the next year just isn’t going to happen, don’t set yourself a goal that big, or you’ll only be setting yourself up for failure from the very get-go. Instead, set more realistic goals that you actually have the chance to achieve.

There are usually many smaller goals that make up large goals, and there’s nothing wrong with setting a pace for yourself so that you stay on track. This is definitely preferable to getting overwhelmed and ending up endlessly negatively analyzing your every move.

If it is a transformation goal, be kind to yourself and accept it might take longer to manifest.

Setting realistic goals will make sure that you achieve them!

Visualize and Believe

The goals you set become so much more concrete in your mind when you can also visualize them and believe that you’ll reach them.

The first step in effective visualization is to pull all your senses into the process. If your goal is a new sedan, imagine how it feels to drive in that car, the amount of leg space, the new features compared to your current car. Visualize taking your family for a long drive in it and how happy everyone is.

Utilizing the senses in this way when you visualize will help secure this goal within your subconscious mind, and effectively make it easier to take the actions you need to take to work towards your goals. Your actions will follow your thoughts, so make visualization a part of your daily routine.

I’ve described the process in my post on creative visualization if you want to learn the exact method. It helped me manifest a new laptop in record time!

How will you stay motivated to achieve your long term goals?

Outward success doesn’t necessarily mean that we have it all. What’s going on inside might be very different.

It’s like the time I completed my nth audit and had a very happy client who agreed to a fee raise. This meant I met my KPI target and got a 25% pay raise.

Yet, inside I thought, if I ever have to do another audit, I’ll throw up.

What used to give me satisfaction suddenly didn’t make sense. I’ve had clients tell me that they too have experienced the same feeling leading them to query whether they want a job or career change.

Something has to give. The status quo is challenged.

At some point or the other, each one of us has felt that we are caught in a rut, cannot move forward and cannot move backwards.  There’s  a Hindi phrase for it – Trishanku’s Heaven.

A sense of claustrophobia sets in and is quite apparent to those around us from our behavior. The Law of Attraction tells us that “like attracts like”.

If we are despondent and view the world negatively, we’ll only attract more negativity sinking deeper into our rut.

Self-help books and counseling may offer solutions.

However, at the end of the day, it is up to us to get up, shake ourselves free of whatever is holding us back and have a go at getting what we want.

Step out of your comfort zone and shake things up a little to get rid of your inertia

Whether it is a slight tweak to our routine or a life changing decision, the best way to go about it is with baby steps.

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you need to ensure you sustain your commitment and energy levels not to mention drive to get things moving. Be comfortable in what you are doing. As your confidence goes up, you will dare to go further and challenge yourself.

Do something new today  

Just shaking up your routine creates a ripple effect for you.  Again, it does not have to be earth shattering.

Why not make a change to your exercise routine or try out a new restaurant for Sunday lunch?

New activities bring new perspectives and a different view of the world, whether outside of or within you. You might just find the missing piece of the puzzle that will get you out of your rut.

Deal with your fears head on

Whether it is societal conditioning or a limiting belief that you hold about yourself or your abilities, sit down and analyze where the fear is coming from.

If you find yourself procrastinating, ask yourself, what is stopping you, what do you believe, what is the fear behind the belief?

Challenge yourself to step out and deal with the issue on hand.

Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? Most probably not enough to stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something concrete to get out of the state of inertia.

Stop treating the situation like a problem to be solved

Most importantly, when faced with a situation, don’t think of it as a problem and get caught. Instead, see it as an opportunity for growth and change and a chance to challenge yourself to the limit. Remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Stand in the realm of possibility. See what happens when you step out of your comfort zone and make changes. Keep a journal for a week and note down on a daily basis

        In what ways were you open or closed to possibilities today?

        What triggered your being open or closed?

        What were the outcomes of your being open or closed?

        When you remained open, what impact did that have on your behavior and of those around you?

Take stock at the end of the week about the changes you noticed in yourself and your situation and celebrate the joys of stepping out of your comfort zone, getting out of your rut and walking into the sunshine.

What definitive action will You take today?

Every transformation journey starts with the intention to change – get your copy of the quiz here.

There’s a reason I’m asking whether the goals you are setting are really fulfilling a need. It’s an important reason when it comes to successful goal achievement.

Picture this in your mind.

You have a goal.  You have read all about SMART goals.

You tweak your goal to be SMART and set off to achieve it.

Somewhere along the way, you realize that you are not getting the results that you want. Other more important matters keep taking precedence. You start to lose your motivation.

End result, you give up your goal, SMART or not. SMART Goals are great. But when the goal does not take into account the person’s or teams needs, capabilities and strengths, then it becomes a not so SMART goal.

Think about relay races. To the outsider, it may appear that four people are running a particular distance in quick time and handing over the baton at each lap. The team with the fastest time who doesn’t drop the baton wins. Right?

Wrong!!!

The coach and the relay team would have spent hours assessing the importance of placement of each team member in the relay. Who can give the fastest lead, who can sustain the middle laps and who has the ability to sprint the team to glory?  Each member’s strengths and weaknesses would have been scrutinized with nothing being left to chance. No wonder sportsmen are gracious whether they win or lose and say that the better team, NOT the best team won.

Without a shadow of a doubt, all teams and their coaches would have gone through their own SWOT analysis but there is one more factor that creates the difference. That factor is called level of Motivation.

My point is, before setting off to make Goals it is more important to understand oneself and what makes one tick. Once you know what motivates you, half the journey is done and then it is simply going through the motions to success.

Veteran goal setters know that motivation is a key factor to goal achievement. If your heart isn’t in it, then you lose even before the race to goal achievement starts. For example, you want to shed a few kilos and make it a goal. You might go on a diet and lose a kilo or two and then gain it back.

However, if you have a motivating factor, like a health reason or looking good for a particular occasion and you know how much to lose with a specific timeline, you improve the chances of goal achievement.

In the process, you set up a SMART goal.

SMART Goal & SWOT Analysis, you need this X Factor for Success

Abraham Maslow’s pyramid called the Hierarchy of Needs Motivational Model (see diagram) states that unsatisfied needs motivate people. There is a hierarchy of these needs and until the lower needs are met, the person does not advance to the higher needs.

Maslow’s model was based on 5 needs. The base of the pyramid comprises the lower-end needs that must be fulfilled before the higher end needs start to influence your motivation.

The four levels (lower-order needs) are considered physiological needs, while the top level is considered growth needs. Maslow’s hierarchy implies that the lower level needs need to be satisfied before higher-order needs can influence behavior.

In other words, if you are suddenly made redundant and need to find a job to avoid foreclosure of your mortgage, you really would not be interested in pursuing self-actualization needs until you have secured your physiological and safety needs.

From a goal setting perspective, Maslow’s model can provide invaluable input in identifying target areas for your goal setting as well as the areas that can prove to be stumbling blocks while you try to achieve your goals.

Coming back to the weight loss example, if the ultimate goal motivation based on Esteem needs is not compromising your Biological needs of food or any of the other lower needs, you stand a better chance.

In other words, going on a diet does not mean going into starvation mode or spending hours at the gym, but ensuring that the approach does not affect any of the lower level needs resulting in self-created roadblocks thus allowing you to focus on a higher need with the right motivation.

Coming full circle to the question, what about you? Do your goals really meet your needs?

If you are a DIY fan, then this Kindle book has been written just for you. It also includes a gift of special goal setting and achieving forms because your success matters – to me. 

Dagley and Gaskin identified the ability to deliver key outcomes consistently as one of 10 Executive Presence Characteristics. This is also a key characteristic of a good leader.

In fact, a good leader should be able to abstain from using coercive power or his position to get the work done.

Yet, many a manager fails to demonstrate true leadership style or executive presence. Even though they get the job done, they miss out on their goal to climb to the pinnacles of their organizations corporate ladder.

When it comes to leadership, a key quality is commanding the respect of our team and demonstrating Emotional Intelligence. Looking back in time, I remember the story of Big Brother Cat.

As a manager, his use of authority led to his ultimate downfall.

True Story of a Big Brother Cat Manager and Modern-Day Slavery

A decade ago, I was the Technical Manager on a major assignment involving an AIM listing on the London Stock Exchange. Our assignment involved converting the financial statements using International Financial Reporting Standards.

The successful close of this assignment would put the firm in a different league compared to other audit and consulting firms.

Back then, the only other time these reporting standards were being used in India was for European Group Reporting assignments. This was on an annual basis for clients with Indian subsidiaries.

It was a simple template filling exercise with adjustment calculations and not reconverting 3 years of financial statements.

I was the specialist on board this assignment with a team of 12 professionals. They knew nothing about these reporting standards but were eager to learn and good team members (a major plus).

Our team also had a manager of my seniority. His role was to help facilitate client interactions while I played the hands-on manager with big time on the job training.

I noticed a pattern in the productivity cycle which had direct correlation with the presence of the other Manager, whom I shall call Big Brother Cat.

Big Brother Cat was a good person but tended to micro-manage and bring out the whip even when it was not required. His emotional intelligence quotient was not good.

To the outsider it would appear to be a game of Cat and Mice.

We had been transported to a slave ship with Mice at the oars and the Cat at the helm beating his hammer.

From a Senior Manager, I felt I had suddenly become a Head Mouse who was being challenged to keep her team morale going against all odds.

We were working on a tight schedule and putting in 12 hours a day without weekends off to rest. Having a chance to laugh was a premium stress management tool.

Big Brother Cat equated laughter with goofing. He started with the premise that subordinates could not be trusted and kept telling them exactly what he expected.

Big Brother Cat forgot we were humans working towards an impossible deadline with a learning curve that had to defy the laws of gravity.

Timely intervention by the Partner ensured that the project had a successful close. We the Mice (yes, yours truly included!) lived to work on other projects.

By chance, the entire team on that project has left the organization to pursue new pastures.

10 years later, despite our hectic lives, with the exception of Big Brother Cat, we’re still in touch and enjoy a good laugh.

Our Micro Manager too left the company. His Big Brother tendencies had become a barrier to his cherished dream of partnership.

Getting along with people is a must for a good leader.

As potential leaders, we all learned lessons.

If you are inclined to micromanage your team, then there are pitfalls you want to avoid in your quest to climb the next rung on the corporate ladder.

Leaders who inspire have competitive edge over Micro Managers

I observed that the professionals were working together satisfactorily, sharing information, and helping each other with the workload. They were hardworking mice, if only Big Brother Cat would have stepped back and taken a realistic look.

Some socializing is always a good thing. It means that the individuals are working together as a team rather than a motley group of professionals.

I believe that there has to be some socializing for effective teamwork. Relationships are built when people get to know each other, like each other and trust each other.

It is one thing to run a tight ship but a too tight noose around the employee’s neck can have far reaching repercussions. These include but are not limited to drop in efficiency, barriers to task-focus and low morale.

If it gets too much, perhaps an employee leaving for a less stressful work environment.

A good leader knows how to achieve success in projects while facilitating individual goal achievement.

Micro-management by a manager sends out the message that you don’t trust the employee or their competencies.

If your team doesn’t respect you, be sure they will not give their 100% to you which ultimately impacts your own career prospects.

Fear as a motivator loses out each time to respect and appreciation. It gets the job done but the buck stops there. Fear kills creativity and thinking outside the box.

Fear means that the Mice will do only as much as is required, but not more.

The Big Brother Cat needs to rethink its role as a Manager and change its style of managing Mice.

He needs to become a real Manager a respected boss not the ones I describe in my post, 5 Boss Personality Types every Professional needs to manage for peace of Mind .

Change has to come from within. Take a long and hard view at where you might be going wrong. Ask your peers, colleagues and if you have the stomach, even your subordinates.

Use the information to develop your social intelligence.

If you hear something uncomplimentary, take note of it but don’t let it become personal. You are asking for feedback to change, not launch a witch-hunt.

Feel the urge to interfere or micro-manage? Count to ten or do some breathing exercises.

The time lag between the urge to interfere and act will give your brain a chance to think again about what you are trying to change about yourself.

Bad habits take time to break but they are habits and habits can be changed.

Take it a step further and from time to time become one of the Mice. Join them in a joke, join them for lunch and get to know your team members. It will make you a better manager and your subordinates will benefit from knowing their Manager is human and not a robot.

While you are working at turning around your management style, here’s one tip to build instant trust with previously frightened subordinates. Try to appreciate them.

If they do something right, acknowledge it and give them well-deserved praise. It they get something wrong, use a constructive feedback process and help them do better next time.

Learn to exercise genuine power like a true Leader.

One of the best touchstones or frames of reference that I recommend using in times of doubt is a quote from Chris Hadfield,

I’m curious, do you know about any reformed Big Brother Cat Managers? 

PS. Want to improve your Leadership Skills? This guide and planner will help you do it on your own. Click here to learn more or purchase directly by clicking on the image below.

This post was originally written in January 2013 and has been updated for relevance and more information.

Leaving The Ship by Frits Ahlefeldt

At some point in our life, we’ll face at least one situation that will create a change needing to be faced head on and conquered. It will be the only way that we can move on.

This change can happen in our workplace or at home. It can even compel us to bravely face the domino effect of a policy decision in our organization.

How we handle this change determines whether moving cheese has a positive or adverse effect on our careers and quest for life balance.

The Cheese in question is a metaphor for what you want in life – money, health, a great job, rising to the top of your profession, a loving relationship, a happy family life etc.

It was first mentioned in the book “Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson, M.D, a fable on how we adapt to change.

I purchased this short book in 2001 at a bookshop at the Mumbai Departure Terminal while waiting to catch a flight back to New Delhi. I’d spent 2 days working on an important part of a project. My employer was buying out the share of our Joint Venture partner that would enable forward movement in the project.

The trip was even more significant because after a 2-year standoff, successful financial close. This meant our entire department would avoid being made redundant.

I wanted a short read for the two-and-a-half-hour flight and bought the book on the recommendation of the bookshop owner.

Little did I know this purchase would mark the beginning of a new journey.

Or how it would change my perspective on what cheese really meant to me.

For now, know that I loved the book. It became my favorite book to gift to my colleagues and quotes that I cherish as much those from Dr. Seuss.

Understanding Cheese and Change – the background

The book, Who Moved My Cheese, is a fable with 4 characters – 2 mice and 2 little people (Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw) who live in a “maze” in constant search for “cheese”. We learn how they react to and deal with unexpected change.

The maze is a metaphor for where we spend our time looking for what we want (within our workplace, outside it, in society, community at home etc).

The main characters react to change based on their personalities and attitude and learn valuable lessons along the way.

The Characters

 The Mice

Sniff- sniffs out change early

Scurry- scurries into action

The Little People

HEM- Denies and resists change through fear

HAW- learns to adapt when he can see something better

Every day these characters run through a maze seeking special cheese based on their level of brain power and what they believe will make them happy finding their desired cheese based on their abilities.

The mice use trial and error to navigate the maze and often go off in the wrong direction or get lost. After a while they remember which corridors are empty and find their way back to cheese.

The Little People also learn from past experiences and do well but there are times when their beliefs and emotions get in the way which paralyses them from taking a simple action that can help get them out of their rut.

All is well until one fine day, the Cheese that they enjoy is depleted.

That is where the story of handling change begins.

The Mice had been keeping track of the Cheese levels and when it finally disappeared, they instinctively knew what they had to do and just got on with the search to find new cheese and ultimately succeeded. They adapted.

Hem and Haw were not prepared and went into complaining mode, procrastinating from taking action and reminisced about the good old days.

Many of us do this when we are attached to something. We cling to it blind to the reality that things are changing, and we need to adapt to change or move on.

Haw finally gets his act together and learns to adapt and enjoy change. Hem however has to learn the painful lesson of needing to change with changing time because the constants are in reality variable.

Moving Cheese Lessons from Real Life People

The beauty of the story lies in the fact that there is a bit of Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw in all of us.

Nobody likes change but that is something that happens all the time. The key differentiation is how alert we are to change and how we tackle it.

Coming back to my own story, the buyout was a success, and our jobs were safe. Everyone went about their work, putting in crazy hours.

We were motivated thinking that there was an abundance of cheese that was worth compromising other areas of our life. We were complacent.

The cheese platter fell with a resounding sound a year later. Top management had decided the project wasn’t viable and no longer a part of their core vision.

The fate of a close-knit team of more than a dozen professionals including 4 in top management became uncertain. What made it worse was that the economy was heading into recession. No one would have blamed us for any hemming and hawing.

Even those who were privy to confidential information were caught unaware in a matter of 24 hours.

They say hindsight is 20:20 vision. Suddenly the resignation of a few of the junior staff in the team who were considered no more than flies on the wall a few months before we were hit with the bad news started to sound like Sniff and Scurry.

They had run off looking for new cheese before the old cheese got stale. Perhaps their survival skills were strong enough to have sensed that the buyout may not lead to project completion. They decided to cut their losses in advance.

Those of us who could be absorbed into other departments jumped at the opportunity because cheese meant job security.

Unfortunately, some of us were made redundant and that is where the Hem and Haw survival skills came in.

Some middle management members made a graceful exit that included a farewell party after negotiating generous redundancy settlements. Others clung on in the hope that a miracle would take place in the form of new cheese.

It took time to wind down the department. While half the department moved on in search of new cheese, some of the senior most management had a tough time letting go of the cheese which had prestige and an enviable paycheck that was no longer there.

Key Takeaways from the Cheese being gone

There are many lessons that the book taught me, but key takeaways became apparent during the pink slip situation. They hold for any kind of change.

1. Change is scary.
2. You need to be alert to signs of change but not get sucked into the rumor mill.
3. The only thing in life you can be sure of is change- and sometimes it will be radical
4. You should not take success for granted or become complacent but be willing to take calculated risks/move with the times loose the cheese.
5. The key to survival is to be flexible, agile and responsive.
6. Our view of life and future possibilities can be affected by our past experience. If you sense that you have a limiting belief, do something about it to make your actions. productive and constructive, not run around doing the same ineffective chasing of your tail.
7. Each person has different motivations/reasons for resisting and will need to be treated differently.
8. Recognize what stage people are at (shock acceptance denial etc) and help people move through it.
9. Train develop support and encourage, involve people in change
10. People need to be encouraged to explore their own attitudes and develop coping strategies.

Can your Cheese include Work Life Balance?

The answer is a resounding yes. The event I write about took place more than 2 decades ago. Change was cathartic for many of my colleagues because redundancy in white collar professional jobs was unheard of in India at the time.

It’s another thing that the global recession of 2008 and the pandemic of 2022 have now completely shaken our preconceived notions about eternal cheese.

The concept of redundancy counseling did not exist nor was there a scheme to help middle to senior career professionals find new jobs. We did not know how to find new cheese or even dream of new cheese.

Things were a little better for me having worked abroad and having previously experienced redundancy in the post-Gulf War period.

I knew that even though I was caught unawares, there were ways to deal with the situation.

The first step was to negotiate a good settlement package while my boss still had the power to help me. I had to get out of an environment which was going to get toxic as the deadline to close the department approached. I moved on.

Those were difficult times because of the recession. While it was challenging to get a new job immediately, I chose to put some other matters in place which had been neglected due to my long working hours.

I learned candle-making and ventured into writing stories for children which were published in 2 leading Indian children’s’ magazines.

Finding new and improved Cheese!

I eventually did land a wonderful job that gave me a career and work life balance but I had learned the lesson that I could create my own cheese.

The foundations for becoming the Karmic Ally Coach were being laid even though it would be a few good years before the final transformation of my cheese.

Others adopted a different approach which included keeping their heads down and finding new cheese, even if it meant accepting inferior cheese.

The colleagues who could not see beyond the vanished cheese had it bad and challenged the organization. They were literally thrown out of the maze with no cheese as a parting gift.

2 decades later, I am still in touch with quite a few of my colleagues and their cheese story which was driven by uncertainty and fear has changed.

Many moved onto new mazes or created their own maze which has elements of a life outside of the organization with more balance and perspective.

What we have learned about cheese

There is more to simply towing the party line at work and chasing cheese that the organization keeps moving and putting in endless hours because the cheese bait demands it of us putting our health and work life balance in jeopardy.

We no longer accept our fate. Instead in the years that have followed, we have broken the rules. We’ve challenged the limitations and constraints that once bound us to blind alley cheese chases and created our own reality.

An important point that Professor Deepak Malhotra, a professor at the Harvard Business School and author raises in his book I Moved Your Cheese.

We have discovered that what drives us is not necessarily having cheese but a plate of cheese that inspires us to be creative and be different.

The quest for self-made cheese has found expression in various forms in new organizations whereas leaders we are respected for guiding others to self-actualizing cheese while helping the organization to grow. We are thriving.

Final Thoughts

While I still believe that my former employer could have handled the situation better and not expected its employees to blindly accept a life and career affecting change without challenging it, I also believe that the onus to create cheese that offers us the best of both worlds depends upon us.

To create the cheese of your choice, there are certain questions that you need to ask yourself which I detail in my self-study course Life Focus in 7 Days and the actions that you need to take to create that life and a cheese that will stand the test of time.

It requires looking at each aspect of your life and considering whether you are happy with it and what needs to change. Once you know the core ingredients of your cheese, the next step is to create it. That is one thing that only you can do whether supported by a coach, mentor or on your own.

Which cheese are you running after? Does it satisfy you or do you know deep in your heart that there is a better cheese out there? Do you dare to create your own cheese?

Are you ready to move your career cheese?

Update 15 July 2021

2020 was a difficult year and as I write, India’s horrific second wave is still ebbing and we are preparing for the third wave of the pandemic.

I thought the worst was over in January this year especially since we had the vaccine but obviously this was the calm before the storm.

I’m not going to crib about how the preparation for the second wave was mis-managed. I’ll leave that for the politicians and news channels to sort out.

What I am going to do instead is to share a new course which is relevant to many professionals in recent times.

If 2020 made us wake up to smell the coffee, then it also made us realize what was really important in our lives.

It’s our family, friends, health and our chosen career.

Even though I specialize in Executive Coaching, more and more professionals are reaching out for help with their careers and support in finding clarity on what they really want but more importantly what they need.

Does that sound like you?

With that in mind, I invite you to visit Karmic Ally Coaching’s Success Solutions and check out 5 Days to Zero in on your important Career Need course.

It’s short, doable and will help you plan your next step. Click here or on the below image to enroll.

It’s normal for our focus to shift in the days leading to the end of a year and the symbolic start of new beginnings.

Most of us start thinking about the year that is finishing. We reflect on what we achieved, what went wrong and what we hope for in the coming year.

It’s normal to set intentions for the coming year and put them down as Resolutions.

I used to make resolutions which I sometimes kept and sometimes broke. I felt happy when I succeeded and celebrated even the partial successes. There was always something positive in every experience.

But there are only so many half-baked successes one can celebrate.

One wants to be able to feel better about the past and the future and not fall off the bandwagon by January 17, famous as the Ditch New Year Resolutions Day.

Then, as I wrote in 3 simple steps to create your desired results in the New Year, I chose a different strategy of setting a Theme Word to guide me in the coming year.

Choosing a theme word isn’t enough though. One requires a growth mindset to make it work and wiping out conditioned beliefs that can impede our achieving our goals for the year.

That process is detailed in my post Success Secrets – Affirmations are a Vehicle for God’s Power.

But if you really want to create a New Year Resolution, I suggest that instead of resolutions to lose weight or give up a bad habit; try a new one – Release Negative Trends.

The Truth about Life and what You can expect

Each one of us, no matter how positive or spiritual we may be, encounter difficult or negative situations and circumstances at some point of our lives.

This point is brought out in Lord Buddha’s story about the Mustard Seed when he said that there is not one household that has not witnessed death.

You can read the story here or watch this quick video.

The moral of the story is accepting that sorrow and difficulties come in everyone’s life.

Such situations are the acid test for our faith in ourselves. Our true mettle is proven from how we handle the situation rather than our running away or trying to eliminate the problem.

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Success Strategy to Release Negative Trends

Written By: Vatsala Shukla

Kerrie Mullins-Gunst, one of Australia’s leading female business advisors and speakers has graciously accepted my request to write a guest post for our blog readers. In this post, Kerrie is sharing her insights into what makes a good leader. As a bonus, there is a Leadership Resource Pack that can be all yours and guess what? It is free.

 So read on, comment and share with colleagues the valuable insights that Kerrie is sharing.

Over the 20 years I have worked as a business consultant, leadership coach and strategic planning facilitator I have often heard people, in big and small organizations, complaining that good leaders are hard to find.

Is this true?  Is our only option to keep looking until we find a good leader?  Do we need to look for ‘pre-made’ good leaders, leaders who were born that way, or can leadership be learned and improved?

While I agree that some people seem natural leaders, I believe that most good leaders become so through learning and experiencing what works, and even more importantly, what doesn’t.  We can all learn to be better leaders and leadership can be taught.  And I have always observed, really good leaders are always keen to improve.

So if you want to become a better leader, here’s a good way to start…

While there are many things a leader must do to become an exceptional leader, let’s focus on three specific things that you can do immediately to start being a better leader.

In order to do a good job, a leader at any level must be able to guide, motivate, and support his or her people. Let’s look at each of these in a little more detail.

Guidance:

A leader guides people by providing an example of how things should be done.

To guide effectively, a leader should be working alongside his or her employees, in the trenches so to speak.  The leader is not doing the same work but is working alongside them, making their own contribution by offering guidance.

A leader doesn’t just tell someone to do something; that’s what a boss does.

Leaders clarify what they want their people to achieve and help them work out how to achieve it.

Good leaders also guide by modelling the behaviours they expect of their team members.  Do you want your employees to be punctual and work hard?  Then don’t come in late, take long lunches, and leave early.

Motivation:

A quality leader motivates others.  There are many ways to motivate, but a common thread among great leaders is they listen to what their people have to say and respect them and the job they do.

As a leader, your team members are important.  They have a huge wealth of experience and knowledge about the integral workings of their job that you probably don’t have, unless you worked your way up the ranks.  Look inside yourself and think about what motivates you – a bonus, extra time off? Those are nice, but actually the biggest motivator is recognition and a big pat on the back for a job well done.

Learn a bit more about what motivates people in the workplace – and what de-motivates people – and you will find it much easier to understand why simple things can work so well.  Stopping to say “how are things going?” in the corridor, smiling at team members when you pass them or learning the names of a team member’s family and asking after them, can be so powerful. As can making a point to recognize the contributions of all team members – not just the high profile people, but all the ‘behind-the-scenes’ workers, when a big deadline is met or a problem solved.

Support:

Good leaders provide support to their team members, enabling them to do their job well.  What do your employees need from you to get their job done quickly and efficiently?  What tools should you provide to help them do their job better?

If you are not sure what support your people need, simply ask them what they need.  Could you demand an employee type and email a 97 page report when he doesn’t have a computer?   Of course not, he is not equipped.

However the support your team needs to do their work successfully may not be so obvious.  It could be that they need more quiet time without interruptions or the opportunity to talk things over with you or someone else to get their thoughts straight.  Or the support they might need could be in the form of additional training, or coaching and feedback that improves their skills and performance.

By identifying and securing the support that each of your team members needs to contribute their best efforts you will be demonstrating yourself as a leader who cares about your team as well as their results.

So, are you a good leader?

Most people in leadership positions must learn how to be good leaders.  If you focus on guiding, supporting, and motivating others, you will be well on your way to becoming a leader anyone would be keen to follow.

About the Author

Kerrie Mullins-Gunst (MBA, BSc, DipEd, Company Directors Course Diploma) has more than 20 years experience Growing Success as a business consultant, leadership coach and strategic planning facilitator.  Visit http://kmgconsulting.com.au for more details, and while you are there, claim your FREE Leadership Resources Pack at http://kmgconsulting.com.au/free