There’s no shadow of a doubt in my mind that we’re going to remember 2020 as the year of global adversity. All because of a virus that originated from Wuhan.

It’s a year of job losses and businesses, small and large downing their shutters leading to more unemployment.

Yet I believe this year will also be remembered as the one when we’d have discovered what really matters to us and the value of life and living.

Pivots are possible or even going in a different direction with our careers and business. We’ll finally embrace the change we knew we had to make. We made excuses because we were too comfortable and complacent to do what we knew we had to.

It is a year where ingenuity, strategy and the will to survive will guarantee a good year, even if things feel difficult and bleak right now.

One of my favorite stories is the one from Finland of the small bakery that decided to bake nourishing cakes in the form of – guess what – a toilet roll!

They made international headlines. Their strategy clearly indicated thinking outside the box to find new ideas. The toilet roll cake tactic paid off, the bakery is still running and the employees still have job.

Clearly, they flipped adversity and obstacles into an opportunity for success which is now being followed by others.

Don’t believe me? Watch this delightful video.

Key takeaway from the toilet roll cake story

It’s not what happens in life that defines you but how you deal with your situations.

You’ve heard the phrase ‘when life gives you lemons make lemonade‘.

This is as true today as it was when it was coined by Christian anarchist writer Elbert Hubbard in a 1915 obituary for dwarf actor Marshall Pinckney Wilder.

Although the expression was coined by Hubbard, many modern authors attribute the expression to Dale Carnegie who used it in his 1948 book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Carnegie’s version reads: “If You Have a Lemon, Make a Lemonade.”

Things are difficult right now for all of us. We are facing uncertainty on a daily basis worried if we will contract the COVID-19 virus if the person next to us is asymptomatic or if we will infect others.

There are economic and financial worries about a future where the return to normal or even a newer normal is possible.

Our experiences from which we can draw relevant guidance to cope isn’t fully available because frankly, the last time there was this kind of an epidemic was back in 1920 with the Spanish Flu and none of us or even our parents in some cases were born back then. There is no first hand experience.

Riding through the storm and coming out on top of adversity

What this means for us is to focus on mindset and strategies because we know how to do that from experience.

If you’re facing a career or life challenge, it can be hard to remember that it’s normal to have obstacles crop up from time to time. Everyone has setbacks, disappointments, and tough times.

But going through a rough patch doesn’t have to spoil your life.

The key to thriving in the face of adversity is how you respond to the obstacles in your path.

Here are four strategies to help you ride through and come out on top.

Make a conscious decision to acknowledge the obstacle or adversity

If you’re having a tough time, it can be easy to feel helpless and fall into a victim mode of thinking.

But it’s up to you to rise to the challenge and decide that you won’t be overwhelmed.

I go into detail about the time when a successful buy out of a project indicated our jobs were safe but the following year top management took a business decision to close the department leading to job losses and uncertainty in a recessionary economy in my post Can Moving Cheese Positively improve Career Life Balance.

The outcome for each team member depended on how well they embraced the obstacle and adapted to change.

Choosing to take control and embrace your challenge is the first step in overcoming it. Look your obstacle square in the face and resolve to meet it.

Use your discomfort to find a new status quo

The proof that you’re embracing your obstacle is acknowledging that it doesn’t feel good. It can feel uncomfortable, heavy, even painful.

There are lots of life experiences that hurt at the time but end up being for your best and highest good.

Discomfort is actually good because it compels you to find a new level of comfort. It’s what comes out of your Wake Up Call and the beginning of a Hero Journey to a better destination.

Of course, it can be fearful to step out of our comfort zone or you’re worried you will fail but you will feel so much better once you’ve faced the worst.

Remember it won’t last forever. Don’t shrink from the bad feelings. You can ride them out and emerge victorious!

Make sure you have the right support team to cheer you on

Sometimes, when you face adverse situations, others can help you to turn your situation around. It’s rare that anyone faces something unique.

Others have been through what you are going through. Reach out to them. It’s better to get the help you need than to needlessly struggle with your situation.

You don’t have to face your obstacles alone.

It can make all the difference to have people around you who are supportive, who’ll stick by you and cheer you on when you want to give up.

Many times, the only thing stopping you from getting support is the hesitation to ask for help or support. Some people avoid reaching out because they are embarrassed.

Remember, those people once went through it, too. They know what you are dealing with.

One of the reasons I love scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook or engaging in Groups is because I see of people reaching out when a friend or group member is having a rough time. They lovingly offer words of support or even giving advice because they have had similar experiences.

If you have a cheer squad, you’ll find that extra level of energy to help get you through. And you’ll be there for your friends and colleagues when they’re facing their challenges.

Once you’re part of a team who have each other’s backs, none of you will have to face life’s ups and downs alone. You’ll fight together and celebrate success together.

Be grateful for the opportunities adversity presents you

Feeling gratitude for the challenges in life might sound counter intuitive. But think about it.

Accepting the challenge, resolving to meet it head-on, and overcoming it makes you a better, stronger person.

Think of how good it feels to deal with a problem and solve it. To face fear and overcome it.

If you ask any successful person how they got that way, they will most likely tell you it’s due to overcoming failures. They learned from those failures and tried something different.

Each iteration, they learned something new from their failures. They continued until there were no failures.

One of my favorite stories is how Willis Carrier, the founder of modern air conditioning found a solution that helped his company make $15,000 additional income (a princely amount at the time) because he adopted the right mindset and didn’t let failure get him down.

Final words of encouragement

Without obstacles in your life, you would not grow and learn and become a better person. Obstacles are a natural, normal part of living an authentic life.

But you have to believe in yourself and what you’re doing.

Everyone has heard the classic tale how Thomas Edison continued 10,000 times before getting the light bulb to the way he wanted it. It’s hard to say if that number became exaggerated over the years, but he likely tried several thousand times at least.

The point is, he believed in what he was doing. When you try something that is untested, you need to take a leap of faith. Otherwise, it’s too easy to give up on your venture.

That is a truth that will always hold true. Even when the pandemic is over and we step into the post COVID-19 world.

I knew it was a question the corporate world and employees would have to face at some point of time.

Going into a lockdown to save lives and contain the spread of COVID-19 was important. It was equally important to reopen the business world if economies were to survive. We needed to prevent the kind of global meltdown we experienced in 2008.

While essential services like banking, telecom, energy, medical and essential food supplies required a minimum number of employees to report to the workplace, many experienced the work from home scenario for the first time.

I know this firsthand because my contact person for my internet and mobile services was fielding complaints and providing solutions from home.

I salute the COVID Warriors who stepped up to the plate and showed up each day to make the lives of the rest of us easier.

From the questions I was being asked on Quora and other forums, I was also aware of the loss of jobs and threat of job loss if people didn’t come into work.

Many were not aware of the advisories issued by the government or their legal rights because redundancies are relatively uncommon in India.

It’s still considered by many to be a blue-collar labor problem for which trade unions exist to protect the worker rights. Not many knew that it could happen to a white collar professional.

There were tacit hints of fear about the future of their jobs and what would happen.

How prepared were businesses to operate in the new scenario?

Governments around the world are not insensitive to the needs of the economy. Stimulus packages have been created to meet the need of jumpstarting the economy in the days after lockdowns were lifted or eased even as cases continue to be reported.

But was the corporate world ready with the right infrastructure to enable remote working?

Were they prepared for the time when workers would return to the workplace or factory?

The Economic Times surveyed both India headquartered companies as well as multinationals not headquartered in India, covering sectors including auto, banking and financial services, consulting, engineering design, education, FMCG, healthcare, technology, IT-enabled services, manufacturing, pharma among others between April 21 to April 23.

The survey revealed that more than 60% of companies were in advanced stages of planning for business operations post the ending of lockdown 2.0 on May 3^rd and the commencement of Lockdown 3.0 when certain relaxations were allowed.

Of the companies surveyed more than 40% were proactively looking at containment measures to insulate their business. Roughly 12 per cent were still trying to figure out how to operate in the post-lockdown environment.

In the meantime, India Inc learned to work from home with remote teams, remote engagement and the necessary safeguards at the workplace to protect employees and customers.

While not all companies were at the same page in terms of their preparations, they all understood the need for agility. A new set of guidelines for both corporations and individuals started to emerge.

But being technologically prepared is just one part of the problem, companies have to be psychologically prepared too.

Organizations need to be alert and empathetic to the needs of employees working from home.

(Source: Coronavirus: Health scare forces work from home, but is India Inc ready?)

Then there is the issue of requiring employees to return to the workplace and dealing with their fear of risking infection.

The IBM Study: COVID-19 Is Significantly Altering U.S. Consumer Behavior and Plans Post-Crisis,  polled more than 25,000 U.S. adults in the month of April to understand how COVID-19 has affected their perspectives on a number of issues. This included retail spending, transportation, future attendance at events in large venues, and returning to work.

The results revealed Americans didn’t want to go back to the office.

In particular:

• 54% want remote work to be their primary way of working
• Over 75% said they would like to continue to work remotely at least occasionally
• Almost 40% indicated they feel strongly that their employer should provide employee opt-in remote work options when returning to normal operations

It isn’t just India or the USA, my international clients tell me about how their organizations are dealing with the situation.  They are giving options to employees to come into the workplace or wait till the second wave of return to the office while continuing to work from home.

The fear and anxiety are universal. I’ve seen the sentiments of the IBM survey voiced by professionals in other parts of the world too.

How to deal with returning to the workplace anxiety

Besides the normal day to day hustle and immense stress of daily living in the modern world, we now have a pandemic to contend with. We have to deliver in our jobs in the perpetual shadow of a possible COVID-19 infection.

Unfortunately, dealing with anxiety has become somewhat of a normal part of life for many individuals in the world today.

Although this problem is not necessarily a new phenomenon, there are certain aspects of our current situation that have served to exacerbate the issue.

Furthermore, we are expected to juggle more responsibilities at one time, all while being as productive as possible.

Although anxiety certain varies in intensity and frequency from person to person, there are a few ways to deal with the problem that are beneficial for anyone experiencing this issue.

Let’s look at a few techniques in order to alleviate some of your anxiety and prove you’re a good responsible professional.

Control What You Can Control

The truth is, many of the issues causing anxiety in your life right now are beyond your control.

This includes global and community issues as well as problems in your personal life.

What you need to realize is that the weight of the world is NOT on your shoulders, even though it can certainly seem like it at times.

Anxiety tells you that you should be worried about solving problems that are way out of your hands.

In reality, focusing on the issues that you actually have the ability to resolve is a much healthier response to a problem-filled world.

Coming back to the workplace and fear of returning to work, remember that the employer has the obligation to provide a safe place to work. They need to follow reasonable safety standards for their industry as well as government mandates and advisories that are in effect at this time.

The cost to company for employing you isn’t just the salary you earn; they also have responsibilities for you during the working hours.

Companies would thus set parameters and hours for employees, whether they come into the workplace or choose to work from home because without those parameters, they might become liable for overtime.

More importantly they need this for employee insurance purposes where the insurer needs to know about the employees who are working from home in case of an accident and whether the employee is covered.

So, trust they will do the right thing by their employees and set up the right protocols to protect everyone.

It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay

Another side effect of anxiety is a feeling of isolation. People experiencing anxiety on a routine basis tend to feel like they are the only ones dealing with this issue.

Because of this perspective, we often feel like everyone else is much happier than we are, like we won’t be accepted if anyone else knew the extent of our anxiety. It is so important to realize that this is far from the truth.

Everyone around you is experiencing some degree of anxiety or mental hang up. You are far from alone. Don’t feel like you have to go through life acting as if everything is okay when it isn’t.

When it comes to going back to work, it is natural for you to not feel completely comfortable with the situation.

There could be a number of reasons for that.

One important reason would be if you’re not feeling safe returning to work because you’re a high-risk employee (i.e. you have a higher risk of contracting COVID-19 or your age is 65 or over).

In such a situation, if HR is not already aware of your situation, you need to communicate it to your employer in writing and let them work around the challenge rather than put yourself at risk and get stressed out about it.

Even if you’re not in a high-risk category and your employer has taken adequate precautions to protect you, it is normal to have concerns.

Talk to your boss or to HR about it and communicate your anxiety and concern and request if you could be brought back in the second wave of reopening especially if there are other employees who could be brought back first.

Good companies don’t like to lose valuable employees. You might even be able to negotiate using any accrued leave to compensate for the delayed return if your job responsibilities cannot be performed from home.

Reach out for Help If You Need It

Finally, if your anxiety is something you are having trouble dealing with on your own, then ask for help.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help for this issue. Ironically, our society welcomes getting help for even minor physical ailments. Yet they act as if doing the same for a serious mental issue is taboo.

Consider this, if you had a toothache, you would most certainly seek a dentist to take care of it.

Why would you not seek a doctor that is medically trained in alleviating mental health issues if you are dealing with anxiety?

There is help out there, get it if you need it!

Finally, learn to take things one day at a time and practicing stress management techniques to lesson anxiety and build resilience.

Live in the moment. This means focusing all of your physical and mental energy on what is going on right now. Not only does this simplify life, it also allows you to get the most out of your limited time.

That’s how I’ve been dealing with the Lockdown and it has made things less stressful than they needed to be.

If you want to understand how your mind is processing the situation and find your own unique solution, remember to download the worksheet How to Overcome Trying Situations By Changing Your Mind here or by clicking the below image.

In my previous post Want Success? Get out of the Fixed Mindset Trap, I waxed eloquently on the virtues of having a Growth Mindset and why it was important to develop it for personal and professional success.

But it’s not all that simple. In any journey to a destination you need to know where you’re starting from and where you’re heading.

It’s also not all that black and white and there are shades of grey to be considered.

For example, in my post We’ve always done it that way – positive perspective, the first impression I got when working with the employees was they had a fixed mindset.

As my assignment progressed, I realized these workers had never known anything new and while there was the odd man or two who wasn’t willing to accept change, the majority either had a growth mindset and were willing to share ideas to make the system at the lodge work better or were more growth oriented than fixed in their views.

Which brings me to an important point that I have touched on in my previous post on mindset.

Everyone’s attitude and outlook exist on a continuum whose ends are either fixed or growth ways of thinking.

In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck describes different ways to approach learning.

She places individuals on a continuum according to their implicit views of where ability comes from. Some believe their success is based on innate ability; in Dweck’s vision, they have a “fixed mindset.”

Others, who believe their success is based on hard work, learning, training, and perseverance are said to have a “growth mindset.”

It would be hard to be truly fixed in your way of thinking, but there are probably plenty of people who are.

Likewise, being completely oriented toward growth is also perhaps not realistic. And, over time, you may move more toward one end of the spectrum or the other, depending on your situation.

While you may think you have a growth mindset, the chances are that you still hold on to a lot of beliefs associated with fixed ways of thinking.

The more you recognize those elements of your thinking that are fixed, the more you can work on adjusting these and looking for ways to improve yourself.

For example, if your boss at work criticizes your work, how do you react?

Do you start to think that there’s no point in trying because no matter what you do, you’re going to fail at meeting your boss’s expectations and decide to do nothing out of fear of more criticism?

Or will you accept the fact that perhaps you goofed up and while the level of criticism was a wee bit too harsh, it’s a challenge for you to learn something new,  reassess what was lacking and do better next time?

That’s the difference in approach for the 2 mindsets.

Not sure where you line up on this continuum? You can assess yourself using a simple tool called the Mindset Assessment.

This easy diagnostic instrument comes from research-validated measures of people over the age of 12 and can be used to give a simple evaluation of your current mindset.

Many researchers have used this same tool in their studies on mindset and learning.

Want to try a quick and simple Mindset Self-assessment?

For each of the following questions, indicate if you Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree.

Keep track of your answers for each, and we will tally up your score at the end.

1. No matter how much intelligence you have, you can always change it a good deal.
2. You can learn new things, but you cannot really change your basic level of intelligence.
3. I like my work best when it makes me think hard.
4. I like my work best when I can do it really well without too much trouble.
5. I like work that I’ll learn from even if I make a lot of mistakes.
6. I like my work best when I can do it perfectly without any mistakes.
7. When something is hard, it just makes me want to work more on it, not less.
8. To tell the truth, when I work hard, it makes me feel as though I’m not very smart.

Now, look at your answers for statements 1, 3, 5, 7. These are statements that are more indicative of a growth mindset. If you tend to agree with these, you fall closer to that end of the mindset continuum.

The other statements, #2, 4, 6, and 8, all fall toward the fixed mindset end of the continuum.

Agreeing with these shows that you have a more fixed outlook on your ability to change and grow.

Now that you know where you fall on the continuum, what should you do with this information?

The next section includes hints, tips, and strategies for learning to cultivate a growth mindset and to adopt a more growth-oriented approach to your life.

Prepare to transform your Mindset for Success

Before you decide that you need to adopt a growth mindset or that you are ready to work on your attitude, it is essential to understand the full scope of just how much your fixed ways of thinking are affecting you and your life.

You may not even realize how deeply rooted your attitude is or the reaches of its influence.

Exploring the influence of your mindset before you begin to change it will help you fully understand it, to identify the many ways it influences your beliefs and actions, and to identify how it affects your ideas about yourself.

Taking the time, in the beginning, to be honest about your mindset and how it is affecting your life now will make it easier to devise a plan for how best to address the necessary changes in the future.

This begins by starting to listen to your inner voice. We all have a running monologue inside our brains that is always talking, always telling you what to do or how to feel about yourself and life in general.

This voice represents your mindset, and when you start to listen, you will hear evidence of your beliefs.

Who is your voice affecting your beliefs about yourself? How is your self-esteem influenced by the words of this voice?

How do you talk to yourself? What types of decisions does your voice affect?

What is your voice telling you to do or not to do? What sorts of limiting beliefs do you hear?

When you start this exploratory phase, it can be constructive to write down what you are hearing. Recording this evidence can help you identify the specific ideas you need to work on changing as well as patterns of behavior that are directly affected by these beliefs.

In fact, reading back the words you use to talk to yourself can be a compelling motivator for changing your attitude.

Take time to process your evidence. What does this say about your beliefs, about what you have believed for many years, and how you treat yourself as well as others? What lessons can you learn from these words and this evidence?

Let this sit for a while and return to it after you have had some time to think. Reflect on what you can learn, and you will use this later to help you set some goals for yourself.

This journal can be essential for you to review throughout your journey toward developing a new mindset, not just in the beginning. Return to the practice of reflection and recording evidence of your outlook again and again.

Get in the habit of listening to that voice and thinking about what it is saying. Do not stop doing this just because you start developing new habits. It should be something you do for the rest of your life.

Now that you know what you are facing, it is time to make a conscious choice to change your mindset. Set an intention for the type of mentality you would like to adopt. Write down the reasons why you are doing this.

Be concrete and include outcomes that you can see or measure, so you know what success will look like. Then, reset your intention every morning when you wake up. Commit each day to your new way of thinking and to adopting new vocabulary and behaviors.

This worksheet will aid you in this exercise.

Now that you see how your mindset is affecting you, you are ready to make a plan for your personal development. In this phase, you will use specific strategies and tips to work on getting rid of your old, fixed ways of thinking and embrace healthier, growth-oriented thoughts and actions.

Next, we provide a list of strategies that can help you do just that.

 4 Tips to nurture a robust Growth Mindset

I covered 7 ways to start developing a Growth Mindset in my previous post and here I’m providing 3 more tips you can use to create an environment that values learning and growth.

These tips can be used with adults, young adults, or even children, and can be modified depending on the age of the person.

Reframe how you talk to yourself or about yourself

When you notice phrases like “I’m no good at this” come out of your mouth or that of your child, take a minute to consider alternatives. In fact, you can create a list of other options to keep handy so that you or your child can look back at it when this type of fixed language pops up.

Your list of alternatives could include adding the word “yet” to your sentence, “This could take some time to solve,” or looking for other strategies to try instead of giving up. This list is great to post in the area of your home where your child does homework if they are struggling at school.

Think about your thinking

Known as metacognition, thinking about your thoughts and strategies can help you develop a growth mindset.

When faced with a new project that you know will stretch you, don’t give in to the fear that you might fail. Instead view this as a learning opportunity where you will get a chance to polish your existing skills and learn new ones along the way which can be used in future.

When you solve a problem, stop to consider why you chose those methods, what would you do differently next time, and what you can learn from this exercise.

If you need more inspiration or ideas, check out my post on 7 simple ways to improve your out of the box thinking skill and also download the free checklist.

Repeat daily affirmations

Affirmations are one way to rewire your subconscious in favor of your new mindset. An affirmation is a statement written in the present tense but represents the reality you are striving for.

For example, you would say, “I learn from my challenges and become a stronger person.” Write out three that are meaningful to you on your journey to a growth mindset and repeat these aloud to yourself every morning and every evening.

Some people prefer to write out their affirmations instead of speaking them aloud.

Concluding Thoughts on the topic of Mindset

Your mindset is a product of what you learn over time, and what informed you as a child is still within you. If you want to change your mindset, then you must practice your new, more positive thoughts and actions, repeatedly making a new neural pathway that rewires your brain’s automatic thoughts and patterns.

By recognizing your mindset is somewhat fixed and how that way of thinking is influencing your behavior, you can do something to change it all.

Becoming aware is the first step but acting and being consistent is the most critical part of your attitude transformation plan.

Being more conscious about your actions, words, and thoughts is essential. Learning to pay attention to how you speak to yourself and others, how you react in situations, and what makes you feel happy and successful are important.

Embracing new things, taking small risks, and practicing your new mindset every day will be crucial.

Stick with your hard work because change is difficult. But it is worth it in the end when your new growth mindset can help you reach your goals and realize your full potential.

Remember why you chose this path and the reasons you have decided to adopt a new way of thinking.

Birthdays and year ends seem to be the time when we begin to feel something is missing in our lives. It’s like you’ve ventured into the forest in search of a pot of honey but got your foot stuck in a vicious bear trap.

Its normal (not the bear trap part of course) for us to start focusing on what we still need to achieve.

The not so normal part is when we go into doom and gloom and think of what’s wrong without considering what we got right and spiral further into a self-defeating frame of mind.

What thoughts are occupying your mind right now?

Do you feel like there is something holding you back in your life, but you aren’t quite sure what it is?

Do you go to bed some nights and wonder why you did that thing or said those words and wonder how you can change some bad habits you have?

Do you have a big dream, but are finding it hard to make progress toward it?

Your attitude and mindset may be what is holding you back in life.

A mindset is the mental attitude you adopt which dictates how you will or will not perceive, react and respond to situations.

Why is it important?

Your mindset can and will determine your life from academics to career and beyond.

Your mindset controls your behaviors and choices, and the wrong mentality can leave you feeling frustrated, worried, and like you always need to prove yourself to the world.

One way to understand the impact of your mindset on your life, career and chances of achieving your goals is to see how you compare yourself with others.

While it’s not advisable to engage in Comparisonitis, it’s true that this comparison can give us a benchmark to gauge our success or failure and hence a measure of where we can improve and achieve more.

It’s what we do with the data and knowledge gained from the comparison that makes the difference.

A person with a fixed mindset will indulge in a reverse method of thinking and apply this information to reaffirm their belief that they aren’t as good as the other person, highlight their own failures and feel they are not good at all.

Our mind is capable of finding information that will support a belief rather than look at information that proves the contrary. That is where the danger lies.

The Pitfalls of a Fixed Mindset

There are many dangers or drawbacks to applying this type of thinking, and this section will explore these in more detail to help you see how this way of thinking influences your beliefs, behaviours, and choices in life.

Your Mindset makes you avoid taking Risks

When it comes to attaining lofty goals or reaching the pinnacle of your field, you must take risks from time to time.

Risks are what stretch your comfort zone and force you to dare to be different, and very little in life can ever be achieved without taking at least some chances now and then.

But many people do not like to take risks because they are too afraid that the consequences will not be favorable. They fear failure.

This fear of things not working out as you planned is born from a fixed mindset.

You choose to not make yourself vulnerable to setbacks because you do not want to be seen as lacking. And because your fixed mindset says that you are born with certain talents and can’t learn and develop new skills, failure represents nothing but adverse outcomes.

The lack of risk-taking behaviors will severely limit your life. You will miss out on new experiences and perspectives, and you will limit your opportunities to achieve your goals and realize your true potential.

Imagine if Thomas Edison had given up his goal of creating an electric bulb or telephone after the first few failures. We’d still be using wax candles and using letters to communicate!

A number of the modern utilities and gadgets that we take for granted are the products of people who were not scared of failure but used it to find the perfect solution.

Get the Karmic Ally Coaching Change Quiz here to see how you respond to risk and change

You feel the need to prove yourself constantly

Those with a fixed way of viewing themselves and the world believe that their abilities, intelligence, character, and other traits are already in place from birth.

If we can’t change in any meaningful way in our lives, then we better have everything we need in place when it comes time to show others who we are and what we can do.

This leads to a need to maintain your image, to project your competence to others, and to always prove your worth and capabilities to those around you.

When you think you can’t change, then it becomes imperative that you continuously demonstrate that you are enough, that you know enough, that you have enough. Otherwise, you would be admitting failure, which is, again, one of the greatest fears of those who think this way.

You restrict your ability to succeed

Research into attitude and mindset has consistently demonstrated that what you believe about yourself will have the most influence on how you lead your life.

Your mindset determines your choices, your beliefs, and your actions.

It is the foundation for everything you do from the time you wake up each day until you go to bed at night. So, when you believe that you are already everything that you can possibly be, why would you get up each day and try hard to succeed?

Your motivation to set lofty goals and work hard to achieve them will be profoundly influenced. Your desire to stick with challenges and push through adversity will also be limited. When you face obstacles, you are more likely to allow these to define you permanently, which will limit your future success.

And because we all experience setbacks from time to time, this means that, at some point, your mindset will stop you in your tracks toward realizing your dream, and you will be unable to progress any further.

You limit your ability to know Yourself

Those who adopt a fixed mindset receive their rewards in life from validation from others and external rewards, which are evidence of their innate talents.

They don’t take the time to understand their motivations or intrinsic reward system, and they lack the ability to self-reflect, which is integral to personal growth.

But it is only through self-awareness and knowledge that you can lead an authentic life and be truly yourself, so without this, you limit your potential and self-actualization.

Those with a fixed mindset depend on others to help determine their self-worth, which can lead to actions that are meant to deceive others or even one’s self from who they are or what they need in life.

Over time, this leads to a lack of fulfillment and a realization that something is missing from your happiness.

It’s one of the reasons I always advise clients and even consults who are not ready to hire a coach to at least practice Louise Hay’s Mirror Work Exercises.

A Fixed Mindset Means You Can’t Become a Different Person

At some point in your life, you are going to wake up and realize that you are ready for a change, that you want to try something new, or become a different version of yourself.

This is the nature of being human. You get tired of your job, your feelings for your spouse change, you want to have children, you decide to go back to school.

This is part of getting older, aging, and changing. But those with a fixed mindset have a tough time seeing a new version of themselves, of taking the chances necessary to make these substantial changes happen. You end up living the same life every day for the rest of your life.

Without the ability to imagine growth and development, you will struggle to consider alternative paths and new goals for yourself.

You will stagnate in your reality and possibly wake up feeling discontented but lack the ability to make the changes necessary to address this.

Without the ability to change your mindset, you cannot change your life.

It creates the need for competition which can turn unhealthy

When you believe that you are born with all the talent and ability you will ever have in life, you tie your identity and your self-worth to your accomplishments. “See, here is evidence of my intelligence or skill. Look at how smart/good I am.”

That means that life becomes about winning and avoiding losing. And when you focus so much on whether or not you are on top, you can end up making some poor decisions related to your desire to win at any cost.

Those who focus solely on proving their abilities to others can end up engaging in destructive, dishonest, and even illegal behaviors in an effort to prove themselves to the world.

You will never experience the level of success you are capable of and truly deserve unless you follow an approach that is on the other side of the spectrum of mindset – a growth mindset.

This mindset reframes the other person’s success as a motivator that enables you to strive harder, do more, and work harder, you re-train your brain to view this not as an excuse to stay status quo, but as a reason to thrive.

When you embrace a growth mindset, you will find that your world is actually full of possibilities, not closed doors.

What is a Growth Mindset?

The term growth mindset was first used by Carol Dweck in her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success in 2006.

As a researcher of personality, motivation, and development, Dweck has studied the role of one’s outlook on success and happiness for many years, and she has determined that we all have a mindset that lies somewhere between two extremes on a continuum.

The growth mindset, as defined by Dweck and embraced by others since its introduction, is when you believe that your talents and strengths can be developed as you age.

This development occurs through work, learning from others, explicit effort, and engaging in practice.

The growth mindset is contrasted with a fixed mindset, in which one believes that your talents are innate to you when you are born and do not evolve much throughout your life.

This understanding of a growth mindset challenges long-held beliefs that you are either born smart or you aren’t, and that gifts and talents are pretty much fixed from birth.

Being growth-oriented is a way to help you identify ways of strengthening your weaknesses, closing gaps in your achievement through intentional effort and overall enabling you to grow as a person in various ways.

Today, the idea of cultivating a growth mindset has been embraced by companies, schools, personal development coaches, and many others as a way to empower people to feel that they have control over their lives and can achieve the goals they set for themselves.

9 Easy Ways to start developing a Growth Mindset

Developing a growth mindset doesn’t happen overnight and requires patience and practice.

Focus on being realistic about how much time and effort it will take to change your mindset. Your beliefs are well ingrained and probably date back from your earliest experiences.

It takes a long time and lots of work to transform these types of beliefs. It IS possible, but it does take time, so be realistic with yourself about what you can accomplish in shorter periods.

Here are my recommended ones to get you started.

#1. Start seeing challenges and obstacles as opportunities. When something difficult or unexpected happens in your life, look for what you can learn from the situation and how it can help you grow as a person. In other words, build your positive reflex.

#2. Stop seeking the approval of other people. When you are always worried about what other people are thinking about you, you are placing their priorities above your own. It does not matter what they believe. Only you must live with the consequences of your choices.

#3. Celebrate the learning and growth of other people. When you look for ways that other people are improving their lives, you start to notice more opportunities within your own. Be happy for people you love who are enhancing their experience, and soon, you will be happy for yourself, as well.

#4. Focus on being your most authentic self. Those who are fixated on proving themselves to others often pretend to be something they are not. When you do this, it diminishes your ability to be you. Focus on living as yourself and allowing others to see the real you. Once you are your authentic self, you can focus on what matters most to you.

#5. Stop fearing failure. Instead of thinking of it as a setback or failure, embrace what you can learn from the experience. Focus on the lessons and the opportunities failure provides instead of what you are missing out on.

#6. Strengthen your self-awareness. The better you know yourself, the more you can use your talents and strengthen your weaknesses. When you are not sure, ask for feedback from those you trust. People have a different perspective than you, and they can help you identify crucial areas for your development and learning.

#7. Watch your language. Pay attention to the words you use with others as well as with yourself. Your vocabulary tells you a lot about your underlying beliefs. Are you using positive, growth-oriented words, or do you still hear negative language? Changing your vocabulary can help improve your mindset, so be sure to really listen to the words you are choosing.

#8. Focus on your purpose. Those with a growth mindset are purpose-driven, so if you don’t’ really know what your purpose is, that’s a wonderful place to start with your personal growth journey. What excites you? What interests you most? What talents do you want to share with the world? The more you focus on what your driving passion is, the easier it will be to stay motivated to learn and grow.

#9. Take more risks. Those who fear failure will avoid taking risks. If you find that you shy away from chance, then, think of small ways you can take risks in your daily life. Try something you have never done before. Make yourself vulnerable to someone. Go somewhere new. The more you push your comfort zone, the easier it will be the next time you want to take a risk.

Changing your mindset takes time and patience, but with consistent practice, you can change how you view yourself and the world, which can lead to more success and happiness for you.

Now is a good time to focus on developing your growth mindset and preparing for success.

Additional Success Resource

Karmic Ally Coaching’s Success Mindset Bundle provides you with the tool to do this. This eBook explores the ins and outs of the growth mindset and how it can enhance your personal development.

It offers strategies and tips for how you can transform your mindset into a more positive, learning-oriented one that expands your possibilities with a planner to record your actions and progress through the year.

I believe experiencing Imposter Syndrome is a sign of growth and learning. It’s a rite of passage to further self-empowerment, personal and professional development.

I’ve never subscribed to the ‘fake it till you make it’ tactic because that is so inauthentic and takes me out of integrity. My core values are important to me. They are to any professional who prides himself or herself as a high achiever and ace service provider.

It wasn’t always like that though. I remember 2 major events in my life when I really felt like a fake, even though I wasn’t.

Both times I needed more experience and knowledge to get the job done. I knew this and yet, the fear of failure made me anxious. Thank God I had friends and mentors who showed me how to overcome this fear, reinforcing my belief in my abilities and succeed with flying colors.

Experiencing Imposter Syndrome Firsthand

My first encounter with Imposter Syndrome happened a little over 2 decades ago. I was seconded by my firm to an audit client for a few weeks to fill the post of Chief Financial Officer while the client hunted for a new person to fill the position.

This was an insurance industry client and as my colleague who was their Audit in Charge told me, all I had to do was sit at the desk and ‘look pretty’. The fact that I didn’t know anything about this industry did not affect her or my employers. My presence was earning them billable hours as we approached off-season.

My colleague was proceeding on a month-long vacation. The only briefing I got was that there had been an incident there. My presence was meant to keep the Finance and Administrative Staff morale up.

I was told to stay away from the top boss, the Country Manager because he ‘had a temper’. My colleague prided herself on being on good terms with him and her ability to ‘manage’ him.

A day into my secondment, I discovered the client was implementing a new accounting system along with a new insurance package that had to be interfaced.

The accounting and insurance staff floundering, lots of yelling going on outside.

There were some gaps in communicating requirements of the end user to the package implementers.

I got involved because besides being an auditor, systems and internal controls were my specialist skills. I had a higher level of accounting knowledge from my articleship days in London where part of our training had included doing accounts preparation for smaller clients.

Sitting pretty at my desk knowing I had the knowledge and expertise to help them, I couldn’t help but get involved. Besides, they were paying a princely sum per day to have me sit there doing nothing.

On Day 3 of my secondment, the Country Manager stopped by to chat with me.

He wanted to know more about my work experience and any observations I had about the new systems which had created the so-called incident when the CFO, who was an old school accountant decided to quit.

I gave my input and realized the Country Manager was actually a nice person. He had the responsibility of setting up a modern office in a country that was coming out of Russian influence post the USSR breakup.

In fact, everybody was nice in the office. The stress over 2 new systems that the Paris Headquarters wanted while also running a regular business and meeting sales targets was bringing out the worst in them.

2 weeks later, I was due for a short break to visit my parents in Minsk when my employer called me in to the office to tell me they were downsizing their expatriate staff. I would be on the next chopping list but expected to continue working at the client’s office.

Stunned as I was, I went on leave wondering what would happen on my return.

That’s when destiny kicked in.

On my return, my employer told me that I would be relieved of my duties as soon as the client found someone and was put on indefinite notice.

I proceeded to the client’s office unsure of my future while wondering if the client had run into any more problems while I was away.

On arriving, I met the Country Manager at the steps of the building. He was waiting for his wife to pick him up for a meeting (she kept the car as he was usually working late).

He told me how happy he was that I was back in time to help with the next phase of implementation. A few glitches had turned up in the interface of the accounting and insurance software.

It’s a scene I’ve never forgotten. Tears rolling down my cheeks, my apologies about crying and a client worried that something was wrong at home. Apparently, he’d noticed my worried look before I had gone on leave but had kept quiet at the time.

Slowly he extracted the truth from me and then exclaimed how wonderful this was!

It turned out that he was planning to offer me the position permanently and was wondering how to approach my employer. Now that I was on notice, he offered me the job right there on the steps!

My concerns about not knowing anything about the insurance industry were allayed by him. He took on the responsibility of enhancing my knowledge base about insurance.

At that moment a Teacher-Disciple relationship was formed that is still going strong even today.

I made the transition, and all was well until my colleague returned from her vacation and called me.

Her first words were “(Humph) God knows what he saw in you. It’s a matter of time before he knows he’s made a mistake”.

That’s the moment I felt the first tinge of Imposter Syndrome.

It got worse the next day over a client lunch where she kept putting me down.

When I told my new boss about the lunch exchange, he took it on as a personal challenge. Soon the entire office joined in a modern day version of making Eliza Dolittle an insurance specialist!

With an entire team rooting for me, I decided I had to prove her wrong and doubled my efforts to fit into my new role. 3 months later, I presented the budget in Paris as well as a 5-year plan for our country growth.

This experience helped me years later with new challenges because of self-belief.

Success is easier now when I step outside my comfort zone.

I have learned to make Imposter Syndrome my inner alarm. An indicator that the time for personal or professional development has come. Then all I have to do is raise the level of my game.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

According to Wikipedia, Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.

The term was coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes. It originally appeared in an article by them where they had observed many high-achieving women tending to believe that they were not intelligent and were over-evaluated by others.

While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been found to affect both men and women, in roughly equal numbers.

Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds. They feel they do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they really are.

Another framework for understanding impostor syndrome is to rename it “impostor experience”.

In the words of Clance, “If I could do it all over again, I would call it the impostor experience, because it’s not a syndrome or a complex or a mental illness, it’s something almost everyone experiences.”

Reframing the vocabulary shifts one’s perspective to help them understand they are not isolated in this experience.

5 Signs you might have Imposter Syndrome

We might not even realize we are displaying signs of Imposter Syndrome. That’s because we don’t talk about it openly allowing our limiting beliefs and fears about ourselves to take over.

Here are 5 signs that are worth noting. While the list is not exhaustive, it might indicate that you are experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

1. Minimizing your worth and value. This might show up as an inability to accept compliments and praise with grace. Instead, you feel awkward.
2. You’re self-critical and focus on what you haven’t done or what didn’t work instead of also acknowledging the things you got right.
3. You are always comparing yourself to others and finding faults with yourself.
4. Your best simply isn’t good enough and you work even harder, whether it’s required or not. This is particularly true of high-achievers who compensate with longer hours and stretch goals for themselves. This comes at the cost of work life balance and ultimately experience burnout.
5. You vacillate between the fear of failure and fear of success.

 5 Tips to deal with Imposter Syndrome or Experience

We all experience this syndrome at some point or the other. The pain that the person feels is very real. The best way to deal with it is to nip it in the bud. This takes time but is worth it.

Acknowledge the fear and do it anyway

Once you accept and acknowledge you have a fear, it takes the sting out of the situation enabling you to do the task that you have to do.

Reframe your negative thoughts with a constant input of facts that provide evidence that you have what it takes.

I recommend maintaining a Success Log. Make daily entries in it until such time that you are able to automatically remind yourself of your capabilities and the value you bring to the table.

Ask others for their input if necessary. Remember, if you are promoted or given a new role, you have been chosen for a reason. Just the way I was offered the position of CFO when I didn’t know the first thing about insurance accounting or the insurance industry.

It’s important to focus on what we can control. So in my case, my thoughts were reframed from:

I may not be an expert in insurance accounting and business (which was true at the beginning) to

But I care about the business and in learning and doing what it takes to do my job to the best of my abilities and make a success of it. (true)

The ‘but’ part is important. You’re affirming to yourself that there is a bigger truth or counter argument to the limiting thought or partially true statement preceding it. It is empowering.

Maintain perspective and address the feelings in the right context

Stepping out of our comfort zone can be frightening at times but it doesn’t mean we are frauds. It simply means we need to focus our energies on making sure we take each step with a little more caution seeking advice if required.

This can be challenging if one is a perfectionist but with the right mindset anything is achievable.

There are 2 ways to do this:

• Visualize the end result that we want to achieve and hold that picture in our mind while we take on the challenge of the task and
• Reframe the context to one that is more favourable and encouraging.

Coming back to my experience, the reframe was:

“I’m not useless or incompetent when it comes to insurance business. Just because I am new to it and need to learn more right now doesn’t mean I am incompetent. I simply have to apply myself, accelerate the learning curve to close the gap”.

Seek support when required and be open to talking about your feelings

There are going to be times when we really are out of our depth. There is no shame in seeking support or guidance. In fact, successful leaders often have a coach who can mentor them. There is a reason for professional developments courses for different stages of one’s career.

Talking to the right people about our concerns helps to diffuse the situation for us. It can often provide us with guidance that we need to overcome a challenge.

Be kind to yourself

It’s human to goof up every now and then and you really don’t have to be perfect to achieve success.

It’s more important to accept one’s mistakes as learning experiences that will help us further down the road.

This means practicing self-acceptance.

It means accepting when we do get things right and not deflecting credit that is due to us to others.

It means celebrating our wins, no matter how small because small wins lead to big victories.

3 Ways you can use Imposter Syndrome to your advantage

Make it your internal trigger to set goals that will give you long term benefits

Competent professionals like to deliver excellent service, whether it’s to their employers or to their clients. When you feel the Imposter Syndrome, ask yourself the Why, What and How questions to get things back in perspective.

Why is it important for me to be able to deliver on the task that is frightening the living daylights out of me?

What is at stake over here if I succumb to the fear?

Now that I know the Why and the What, How am I going to get past this hurdle and get the task done?

The How question will lead to more analysis of what is required – resources, research, planning, actions, timelines and all those tasks that you need to perform.

Armed with that knowledge, set your goals and work on them.

Treat it as a learning opportunity

Experiencing Imposter Syndrome is a sign that it’s time to step out of our comfort zone and grow. We experience professional and personal development when we are willing to try new things, to learn new ways of doing work and gaining new knowledge.

It’s not enough to research and acquire new knowledge; it’s also a time to apply the new knowledge and figure out viable solutions.

That’s what I did to come up to speed with the insurance business. I knew accounting and I knew all about finance. The deficiency about the finer nuances of the business were covered by sitting with the staff in the different departments to understand how their work affected the other department’s work and formed a part of the whole business.

I was transparent about my lack of knowledge and my willingness to learn. My colleagues appreciated the honesty and filled the gaps in my knowledge base. In return, I showed them how I was creating the weekly reports that helped them achieve their targets. We all benefited.

Use your experience to develop your own personal leadership style

This is a tip that I give all my coaching clients who express their desire to become coaches and mentors to younger professionals at work.

No experience is ever wasted. Knowing what it feels like to experience imposter syndrome, you are in a position to reassure the younger professional or even a peer that it’s a normal feeling when one is stepping out of their comfort zone.

You are positioned to guide them through this painful journey and give tips to overcome the challenge.

That is what leaders and mentors do when exercising Emotional Intelligence.

It’s also an authentic method to raise your Executive Presence and get noticed as a potential candidate for the next rung of the corporate ladder.

For more authentic methods and actions, I invite you to check out Karmic Ally Coaching’s Executive Presence Workbook.

Final Words of Wisdom

 Hopefully I’ve taken the sting out of Imposter Syndrome or Experience and shown you that it can be useful. I remember what my parents used to tell me when I was worried before an examination.

A good student is always scared not because he or she hasn’t done the work but whether they will do justice to the exam paper.

Keep that thought in mind the next time you are required to step up to the plate and perform outside of your comfort zone. You have what it takes, and this is just another steppingstone to your professional development.

If you’re a professional looking towards climbing the next rung of the corporate ladder, then you must be able to demonstrate the trait of emotional resilience.

Teams look up to their leader for directions and inspiration in challenging times. Of course, you are human and don’t have all the answers. None of us do.

But demonstrating grace under fire and keeping the team working as a cohesive unit to achieve the daunting task at hand is sure sign of Gravitas and Executive Presence.

Sylvia Ann Hewlett, founder and CEO of the Center for Talent Innovation, surveyed 4,000 college-educated professionals (including 268 senior executives) to find out what coworkers and bosses look for when evaluating executive presence.

Three criteria proved critical:

1. How you act (gravitas): 67%
2. How you speak (communication): 28% (check out my post on vocabulary and executive presence)
3. How you look (appearance): 5%

Gravitas signals intellectual expertise, but also confidence and credibility. Senior executives picked projecting confidence and grace under fire as presence’s most important qualities.

Simply put, your actions or reactions are important. Let’s go deeper into the subject.

What is your reflex action when you get bad news?

Do you react to negative experiences from a state of rage or grace?

Many times, our reaction to our environment and the events in our life create even more stress for us. There are many ways that we can control our reaction and hence our stress levels. I recommend building your positive reflex action.

In other words, help yourself by controlling the effects of your negative experiences by building a positive psychic and spiritual foundation to attract good things in your life.

I learnt a long time back that it is not the actual experience whether positive or negative, big or small that determines how my life is turning out but my response.

When I was younger, reading about the Yulin Dog Meat Festival or finding out about the massacre of innocents would upset me. My knee jerk reaction would have been to express my outrage about the state of things on social media along with others in their rants and complaints.

Fast forward today, by building my positive reflex muscle, I am able to step back from the situation and assess it for what it really is. After that, I take actions both at a personal and community level that can actually make a difference in the long run.

How do you react to Life’s curve balls?

Our reactions to our life’s experiences are based on the state of our mind or awareness of life which in turn is from mental acceptances. The pattern of thinking, which is formed from these mental acceptances, governs our reaction to life.

The habit pattern of reacting in a specific way to an experience is a conditioned reflex.  Since a negative reaction to a negative experience produces further negativity, I needed to re-train the reflex of my mind and condition its reaction to negative experience with a positive rather than negative reaction.

Just as in the Pavlov’s Reflex that we all learnt in school, one needs to first set up the environment for the success of this retraining. Accept that the reflex would be applied to every negative experience that occurs in one’s daily life.

We also need to accept that every experience that happens in life has a hidden spiritual good which one may not be able to see at the time of the experience.

Facilitating a Positive Reaction

To facilitate the positive reaction, use daily positive suggestive affirmations to create the foundation for using the negative experience as a conditioned reflex signal to react positively.

Become aware of the impact that negativity has on one’s physical self and the resulting cynicism that robs us of the simple joys of life.

Understand that when faced with a negative situation, one has the choice of how one wishes to react.

Changing one’s mindset to react positively to a negative experience or trying to find something beneficial in that experience can be challenging initially.

It takes time and practice to re-condition one’s mind to replace the existing conditioned reflex of reacting physically to a negative experience with a more positive reaction.

It also requires developing the skill of mental toughness.

Karmic Ally Coaching’s Solution to Facilitate a Positive Reaction 

To facilitate the positive reaction, use daily positive suggestive affirmations. This creates the foundation for using the negative experience as a conditioned reflex signal to react positively.

This is also the first exercise that I share in my Self-Improvement Strategies Workbook.

Become aware of the impact negativity has on one’s physical self and the resulting cynicism that robs us of the simple joys of life.

Understand that when faced with a negative situation, one has the choice of how one wishes to react.

From my experience I know that changing one’s mindset to react positively to a negative experience or trying to find something beneficial in that experience can be challenging initially.

It takes time and practice to re-condition one’s mind. To replace the existing conditioned reflex of reacting physically to a negative experience with a more positive reaction.

2 Simple Techniques for a positive mindset

When we are trying to change the way we view the world and our own mindset, becoming aware of our actions is just part of the solution. We need to gently retrain our mind at the subconscious level too.

I’m going to share 2 techniques that work well. Even if you think they are too metaphysical, believe me, they work.  The techniques are:

The Art of Invocation and

Using Negative Thoughts to our Advantage

There are times when the original negative reflex surfaces but that too can be viewed positively by studying it and determining the weaknesses in the conditioning, much like repairing cracks in a wall with reinforced material. The benefits exceed the efforts to recondition.

By gaining further positive control over ourselves, we enhance the strength of the Law of Attraction in our lives. At the same time, we open the pathways for better health, happiness, success and prosperity making the challenges that life presents us easier to overcome and move forward.

Your turn, how do you reframe your reactions to create a positive change for yourself?

Do you demonstrate ‘grace under fire’ or is there some inner work to be done? 

This is the time of the year when most of us start slowing down and take stock of where we are. Our focus is on planning for a better new year.

Resolutions are made which most probably are adhered to till a week into the New Year. Then we are back where we started. Quite possibly, the challenge is our inability to move forward in positive motion because of our inability to let the past go.

Are you guilty of clinging to the past?

If yes, then please read this post because until you let go of the past (which I also covered in my post ‘Isn’t it time you stopped believing in ghosts) there is no way that you are going to be living in the present or even creating the kind of future that you wish you had.

No amount of chakra balancing, tapping, creative visualization or Law of Attraction will help you achieve your goals until you make the required changes in your subconscious mind.

Instead of using the past as a barometer for your future success, just let it go!

Otherwise, you’ll simply paralyze yourself into inaction.

I learned a long time back that the only way to keep moving forward and that too in a constructive manner was to accept that the past is gone and the need to focus on the present which is one’s reality and from where we are building our future.

Clinging to the past with all the residual emotions of hurt, pain and negativity only prevent us from moving forward towards our soul’s life purpose.

It is necessary to fill one’s mind with positive thoughts and consciousness to attract all the good things that the Universe can send our way by using the Law of Attraction to create a better future.

The only real purpose of thinking of the past is to take away lessons learned so we won’t repeat them again.

I learnt that just as I have control over my actions, I also have control to take steps to remove any hidden negative traits within me.

Removing hidden Negative Traits

We often acquire negative traits in the course of our life without even realizing that they are there.

The good news about negative traits, no matter their origin or if they have been acquired over the years, these traits can be removed permanently.

This enables us to move forward with confidence using our positive qualities, traits and gifts by focusing our intent on strengthening them with the support of one’s Higher God-Mind.

We are all born for a purpose in this life even if you have not yet realized that purpose, draw comfort from the fact that the very positive traits in your personality are the key to unlocking the mystery of your personal destiny and lifestyle in this life.

Be assured that your Higher God-Mind will support you whichever mode of effort you take, whether it is through conditioning your subconscious mind, meditation or any other metaphysical means.

Here are 2 techniques that work.

Visualization Meditation

This method involves using an affirmation and repeating it a few times until you can feel it and then entering the state of meditation.

In this example, we will use affirmations and meditation to help us to move away from our negative trait of clinging to the past and moving into a positive future.

Affirmation:

“Through the Power of my God-Mind, I release past negativity and release my mind, God-Directed, into a positive future.”

Next, enter into a state of meditation

In your mind, see yourself where you are sitting or reclining.

In your mind, think of this negative trait of clinging to the past (or any negative traits you possess) as your dark shadow in your body.

Now, see this shadow representing negative traits leaving your body and being replaced with the Spiritual Light of your True God-Self.

Sit quietly for another five minutes in meditation, after you feel that your visualization has had an effect.

My Experience with this exercise

The first time I experimented with the visualization technique during my evening meditation using the affirmation for ‘Clinging to negative past/moving into positive future’, I noted that I felt drowsy after I completed the meditation and dozed off for about 10 minutes. On awakening, I felt refreshed, energetic and lighter.

From experience I know that the visualization had worked as I often experience this effect when I have released negative emotions accumulated during the day through meditation.

The sense of lightness was new and repeated visualizations over the following days brought about a changed perspective when dealing with issues to which I have reacted differently in the past.

Re-label Your Negative Experience

If affirmations combined with meditation are not your cup of tea, then acquiring a new perspective on an experience can help at a deeper personal level by rewiring our brain by breaking the negative feedback loop and think positively.

Here we change the label of the experience to take the negativity out of it and let go of the fear that stops us from moving forward. So for example, take a negative experience and re-label it as a learning experience. Our experiences, whether good or bad do provide us with an opportunity to learn valuable lessons and ensure that our present is better.

No experience is ever wasted but offers much in terms of wisdom and input to prevent us from repeating our mistakes.

Use the metaphysical technique outlined above or the re-labeling exercise to remove the negative energies surrounding that experience.

While you cannot go back into the past and change things, you can re-frame the past, increase your knowledge and experience and sharpen your intuitive skills.

Your present is your place of power and action and by focusing on positive thoughts and consciousness you can fulfill your destiny.

What exercises do you use to let go of the past and move forward with an upbeat attitude? 

Sometimes its a mindset issue that requires consistent action and I have a great resource for you.

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