Let go of the Critics and listen to the wisdom of your Higher Self

The truth is, it’s never late provided you have a well thought out plan supported by strategy and tactics that will bring you closer to your heart’s desire.

Accept change and make it work to your benefit

Change is a part of all of our lives.

How we deal with change is often a determining factor in how happy and successful we are.

Sometimes we get lucky, and change is gradual or even easy.

Other times, change is hard, overwhelming, or downright scary- like it was this year.

This kind of change seriously impacted our lives and needs to be embraced to make sure we are able to move forward.

How do we do that, though? Follow these 7 tips to find out how.

1. Change your attitude about change in general

Start fostering a more positive attitude towards change. Get used to embracing the easy changes in your life, so your mind is prepared for the hard ones.

2. Think about what the cost of not changing

This tip helps when you’re ready to give up when change gets tough or overwhelming. Quite often, the pain of not changing outweighs the comfort of not trying to change. If you need the motivation to change, imagine what would happen if you didn’t.

3. Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control

When massive change is imminent, take some time to reflect. Think about what aspects of this change you can control, and which aspects are out of your hand. Once that is done, focus solely on the things you have control over. This way, you aren’t wasting energy, and you are making sure this transition will go as smoothly as possible.

4. Keep a Journal

I have personally found journaling effective in dealing with change, especially if it has been caused by events outside my control.

Journaling allows you a safe space to get all your thoughts and fears out. You will find that some of your trepidation dissipates when the fears from your head are put on paper.

5. Trust Yourself

A lot of the reason people struggle to change is that they don’t believe in themselves. They don’t believe they deserve “good change,” and they don’t think they can handle any sort of negative change.

Work on boosting your self-esteem first, then you will naturally be more open to change. Get more guidance in my blog post Embrace the Truth, you can trust yourself.

6. Your Basic Needs Still Matter

When dealing with a big change, or life transition, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Some changes are so big that they are almost all-consuming, but you can’t forget your most basic needs. Sleep, diet, and exercise shouldn’t be tossed aside because you are too worried about change.

7. Make a Plan

Change is often scary because it is the unknown. But you can control parts of it with a plan. Creating a plan of action to deal with a specific change makes it easier for you to make that change when the time comes.

Even if you’re still overcoming the challenges of 2020, remember, failure isn’t the end. So banish the fear of failing and move forward with optimism.

Change how you view failure. I prefer to think of it simply as a signal for us to try something different.

When you embrace empowering beliefs and change as a catalyst for achieving your true and hidden potential, you will become unstoppable.

Want to get your Life back on track but need more focus? I have an easy solution.

Click the link to learn more Life Focus in 7 Days self-coaching workbook.

So much has been written about limiting beliefs and fears. I honestly doubt the subject is going out of fashion soon.

Google the topic and you’ll find tons of articles and blog posts providing tips to deal with various aspects of this debilitating phenomenon. That includes 10 of my own to date!

Knowledge is power but coming face to face with your fear or belief and having to deal with it head on is the real acid test.

I wrote about my own experience when I explored the secondary gains of bad habits and can state with conviction that confronting a situation and writing about it academically are 2 different things.

Here’s another case study with a different scenario and solution.

Sometime back a client hired me to help get her career back on track. An overall good performer, things had not been the way they were before her maternity leave.

She realized she needed someone in her corner to help her regain her momentum and visibility.

Watershed Moments create Transformation Opportunities

We were making good progress. Then we had a session that proved to be the watershed in our work and her approach to her career and the elusive work life balance.

The session started off well and then I asked her about her week in general. That’s when her normally confident voice started to shake. I had a feeling her tears were near to the surface.

The next few minutes can only be described as a flood after a dam bursts.

In between sobs, I gathered the issue had something to do with being a good mother, an overbearing boss, her not getting good roles, no one to champion her for meaty projects and a whole lot of other things.

She feared in a shaky economy and budget cuts in her department, if she didn’t get the right projects and visibility, her job might be among the first to go as she was a generalist.

In my heart I knew we were at the precipice of a powerful coaching moment. Handled properly, my client would get the breakthrough making her unstoppable.

But the first priority was to get her to cry as much as she wanted and get it out of her system.

Tip: Crying can be cathartic

That’s where my techniques are different because I view crying as cathartic. I encourage clients to cry if they feel like it even though I don’t make them cry.

I suggested we take a break of 15 minutes during which I wanted her to go and make herself a cup of tea, chamomile preferably and do a brainstorm of her beliefs.

No restrictions were placed on the beliefs – I wanted it all out on the table, the good, the bad and the ugly.

We got back on the call as agreed a quarter of an hour later and my client had brainstormed 13 beliefs about herself and her situation.

As we went through her list, we found 9 empowering beliefs, 1 that is universal in any job, 1 that could be easily fixed and 2 that were affecting her adversely in her current situation.

One was based on an uncertain future and the other on her ability to maintain boundaries and work under pressure.

We went through a coaching exercise that I elaborate on in my post Is Uncertainty about the Future keeping you up at night (which is also available in my Self-Improvement Strategies Workbook).

I taught her the technique of muscle testing to confirm her beliefs.

How to handle critical self-limiting beliefs

Further introspection revealed that her 2 critical self-limiting beliefs were based on specific incidents. In hindsight, this could have been avoided if she had maintained boundaries. If she hadn’t allowed her helpful nature to be exploited by others for their vested interests or was covering for other people’s inadequacies.

My client was seen as somebody who gets the job done, can mediate, can achieve, has good relationship building skills and people like her.

She was aware of the need to become more assertive and maintain boundaries.

As for the belief that was changeable, we made a discovery. Her former boss had actually put in a word to her new boss to give her more assignments so she could polish her project management skills!

When we looked at the situation carefully, she realized that her boss actually trusted her! And preferred delegating tasks to her that were critical and important to the assignment she was working on. I guess the boss had not realized she might be overloading her trusted team member.

The simple solution to this was to ask her boss to prioritize her tasks whenever the sense of overwhelm came on.

This 1 solution prove valuable both for her and her boss. Sometimes bosses don’t realize how delegating can turn into dumping on reliable competent colleagues.

My client also realized her fears were inconsistent with proven skills and capabilities.

To make sure she stayed on track, we created new empowering affirmations to replace the 2 problematic limiting beliefs.

As a postscript, I am proud to tell you that she is unstoppable and now mentors and coaches her peers on the job. Her bosses recognize her leader skills and high level of Emotional Intelligence.

Understanding your power to change what you believe

The case study I shared relates to 1 competent professional.

This story is repeated every time a person has to face a situation that brings their limiting beliefs to the surface.

Here’s what I’ve learned about beliefs from my own and other’s experiences.

It’s important to recognize the impact our beliefs have on how we feel and behave.

Our beliefs about ourselves determine how we perform in a particular situation. They also determine the level of our self-confidence (which is what was happening with my client).

Believing something about a situation determines how events progress.

However, we can choose what we believe. If we wish to see a situation differently based on new information, we have the power to do so.

In any situation, what we think and feel about another person affects how we relate to that person.

Our beliefs are particularly important when relating to others.

If we believe a person has certain qualities, then we assume we know how they think and act. When we change our mind about someone, we see the person differently, often for the better.

We are free to determine what we believe about someone.

Simply knowing we can change what we believe brings success in our lives.

We are free to make decisions about what we think is true. If we observe factors that don’t coincide with our beliefs, we can change how we view other people and situations based on this new information.

Facing a situation where you know the belief is creating a barrier to your success?

Take time out to reflect on these 3 Self-Reflection questions:

1. Do I have the power to change my beliefs?
2. What is a particular assumption that hinders me?
3. How can I create more success by accepting my power to change my beliefs?

Are you willing to embrace your inherent power to change? Or alter your beliefs that don’t serve you?

We don’t experience just 1 Hero Journey in a lifetime and call it George. In truth, the pattern is repeated every time there is a need to change the status quo.

Each stage of personal and professional development involves a Hero Journey, even if it’s not of epic proportion.

The core ingredients required to embark on a new voyage are always the same – a Wake Up Call and Accepting the Call to Adventure.

I can clearly see my own journey as a person who used to make New Year Resolutions and then feel miserable when I’d break them. If the resolution lasted beyond January 17^th – the quit resolution day, it was an achievement.

In my last post for 2017, I shared my preferred method of setting a theme for the year with a Word as a guiding light for Success and how it helped me achieve a lot more.

There’s truth in Wayne Dyer’s saying about what we focus on multiplies. I saw it in action when my dog was not well and we were doing daily visits to the vet’s clinic a good distance away from my residence.

I used to pray to Archangel Michael for a safe passage with no mishaps as Miss Coco could not be moved too much and white cars would appear all around my vehicle – front, behind and on both sides!

2 years later the white cars still appear every time Miss Coco is in the car going to the vet for a routine visit and I know we are being looked after.

It’s the same with theme Words

My Word for 2018 is Faith and mini-miracles started manifesting shortly before the year-end when my mother had an unfortunate fall on a few broken tiles near the entrance of my residential building.

Her doctor suspected a fractured knee cap which isn’t good news for an elderly person and I started praying like it was going out of fashion.

The energy of Faith started and a day after the accident, when we met the Orthopaedic Surgeon, he ruled out the fracture although there were issues with the knee requiring bed rest.

Shifting from Resolutions to Theme Words hasn’t been all that simple

I knew there was a better way to do things. I discovered it during my Hero Journey when I shifted from being a corporate professional to creating Karmic Ally Coaching.

The skill sets and more importantly, the mindset had to be upgraded. I gave up Resolutions and moved to using the Art of Invocation.

I still use Invocation when I want to create shifts in my mindset. I’m sharing the original post to support your goals for the year aligning your thoughts and vibrations to make this year your best year.

Here’ my original post written on December 31, 2011 updated on 1st January 2022.

With a few hours left to bid 2011 adieu and welcome the New Year, I thought again about my New Year Resolutions and then decided, why bother?

I mean, I belong to the group where each December 31, I think of things I want to do or achieve, habits I want to get rid of and find that I don’t really achieve much of what I set out to.

Not because I am weak. Rather, life has a way of playing out strangely. What made sense at the end of the previous year doesn’t quite have much relevance during the events of the current year. Instead, I achieved a lot more than I had set out to despite not having resolved to.

So this year, I am going to focus on myself. Yes, I will focus on me but with a twist. This year, I’m focusing on qualities I WISH I had by putting into practice the Art of Invocation.

Essentially invocation means calling upon. When used with prayer and meditation, it helps you imbibe the very quality or energy that you wish.

My simple method involves two steps.

Relaxation

1. Sit down or lie down and make yourself comfortable.
2. Relax your muscles particularly the shoulder muscles and gently close your eyes.
3. Visualize that you are in the center of a globe of white positive light.
4. Breathe in deeply visualizing the air you are breathing is white positive energy and circulating through your entire body.
5. Breathe out the air visualizing you’re exhaling black air carrying out of your body all your self-doubts and negative thoughts.
6. Repeat the exercise 10 times or until you start to feel relaxed.

Invocation

Now in a relaxed state repeat aloud the invocation, the statement for reconditioning your mind and bringing about change.

Choose the invocation quality that best suits your need at the moment. For example:

You will begin to feel the difference. Stay in the moment and enjoy the feeling.

For best results, if you want to change fast, take the invocation that you have chosen and repeat it 3 times/day.  This works with affirmations as well.

The invocation will embed itself into your sub-consciousness mind. Since you’ll be saying it so often, you’ll soon begin to believe it.

Most beliefs start through repetition of thought and here your attitude will positively change your emotions. You will be inspired to do more than you think possible!

Are You Ready to create Change?

Let me say this right off the bat, if anyone you know says they don’t have any problems, they’re fibbing – big time. We all have problems at some point or the other.

The magnitude may vary or we might have taught ourselves to reframe the situation to make it seem like a learning opportunity or a challenge to be overcome.  A problem is a problem. It’s how we deal with it that matters and that’s where my furry companion Coco the Cock A Tzu has it all worked out.

I often look at my current canine companion Coco and think, that the saying ‘it’s a dog’s life’ is way off the mark. I mean, she has it all – a loving family, plenty of toys, good nutritious meals, visits to the vet when she is not well in an owner driven car and a housing complex filled with people who worry if she is not out with me.

The furry child’s antics amuse my friends and I’ve had people tell me that Miss Coco deserves her own Facebook Fan Page.

But I realise that her life is good because of her perspective and attitude towards life and the challenges that she faces as a sole dog in a house filled with humans. She knows inherently that there are no problems, only solutions and deals with issues quite differently than we humans do.

If there is a puddle of water on the morning walk path – no issue- she just looks at it and changes the direction of her walk slightly to avoid getting her paws wet and continues.

This last example I think is part of her learning. As a puppy, if she saw a rain puddle, she’d jump right in and get wet which meant she’d be put in the bathroom sink and have her paws washed by a grumpy pet parent which isn’t as much fun as her regular baths in my lap which are preceded by grooming to get matted hair out and the entire pre-bath ritual.

More reason why I can genuinely say Coco knows the art of problem solving.

We all have problems in our everyday lives. Some are small ones that are dealt with easily so that they don’t appear to be problems and some are of a greater magnitude that require us to use our problem solving skills. It all comes down to our approach.

3 Canine Problem Solving Skills even Humans can use

A dog approaches a problem with an open mind and engages in possibility thinking.  As humans, many of us approach issues with annoyance and a negative attitude thinking of it as a hindrance rather than an opportunity to learn and grow. We set ourselves up for failure even before we begin.

When Coco’s ball rolls under the sofa, she gets excited and tries various options to retrieve the ball. Each time this happens, she finds new ways to solve her dilemma. She is persistent.

As a human, we most probably get frustrated if we cannot solve an issue immediately and look for easy short term solutions rather than looking at the big picture.

I’ve shared my observations with other canine companions and it appears their pet buddies do the same. I’m convinced Coco & furry company can teach us humans a thing or two. Problem solving is not only a valuable skill; it is also an art and based on my observations, I suggest the following subset of skills that are required.

Problem Solving Skill 1: Creative Thinking

The first skill is creative thinking. You can call it thinking out of the box. The ideas will flow if you engage your imagination during a brainstorming session. Write down your ideas on a piece of paper.

Problem Solving Skill 2: Objective Evaluation

The second step is to check each option that you have written for sound reasoning and weed out the unachievable options. Make sure that you are objective in your approach.

Problem Solving Skill 3: Open mind

The third and most important step is to approach each problem that you encounter with an open mind and positive attitude. That is the only way you will not only find solutions but better ones that work.

Now for the humans to prove that we too know how to solve problems.

Have any tips you’d like to share? Or a nugget of what your pet friend –dog, cat, gold fish or turtle has taught you? Do share with Coco and me in the comments box below.

PS. Coco doesn’t coach but her pet parent mentored by this wise little dog does!

Sometimes, the only way to solve a problem is to prepare for change. Do you find it easy to adapt to new circumstances? Find out your change management style with The Karmic Ally Coaching Quiz by clicking here or on the image below. It’s on the house!

Written By: Vatsala Shukla