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Here’s the transcript for the Simple Starting Over Tip

No matter what has happened to you in the past, know that it doesn’t control your future if you really want to start over.

Hi, I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching and today, I’m going to share a simple starting over tip. It’s to start thinking in the present.

In my previous post, we discussed different reasons for wanting to press the reset button and starting over. We also accepted that while resets and starting over are not always that easy, there are 3 ways to deal with our concerns.

Yet, it can feel daunting. Besides, our mind has this wonderful tendency to pull out information stored in our sub consciousness to validate and justify what we are feeling.

It doesn’t matter if that issue is positive or negative – evidence will be found.

In my micro course on Mind Mastery for Professional Women, you learn how to reprogram your subconscious mind and apply the learning to make those mindset shifts that will bring you closer to your goals.

You also need to change the way you think, and this begins with thinking in the present instead of staying stuck in the past.

It’s not as hard as you think though. You really need to want to create the change that you desire.

There are 3 top practices that I can share to help you begin thinking in the present.

Overall, the vast majority of adults have had to or wanted to start over with something in their lives.

It doesn’t have to be as extreme as a mid-life crisis, but sometimes something that doesn’t work for them anymore.

Maybe your job doesn’t provide the same satisfaction that it did earlier. It could be that your personal life isn’t the way you pictured it going by a certain age.

We often find ourselves staying in the same relationships and activities out of fear of change.

What if you fail?

So, you repeat the same patterns even in new situations where a different outcome is possible.

You have become accustomed to the behavior out of fear of change.

How you see yourself today can be all about how you were prompted to see yourself earlier, ranging from incidents during your childhood and adolescence to different disappointments and discourages as a younger adult.

Overall, the way that you viewed the implications of your words and actions formed your central sense of self. Your limiting beliefs overpower any attempt at possibility thinking.

However, you can always change your life by changing the lens you see the world with and even how you see yourself.

So let us look at the three best ways to move forward with your new way of thinking:

Practice Self-Forgiveness for your mistakes

 Instead of working on forgiving the people in your past, try forgiving yourself first.

Tell yourself, “I forgive myself for not seeing the red flags”.

Now, break that down even further.

“I forgive myself for not acknowledging that his temper scared me during our arguments.”

After working on your personal apologies, make yourself a promise that you will not punish your future relationships with old memories. That is exactly what they are, memories. Don’t give them unnecessary importance.

Recognize and acknowledge your negative thoughts

The ability to recognize the multiple places of your negative self-talk or thoughts is the first step to rectifying outdated perceptions and conclusions about you and your mental environment.

Now write down all these different negative thoughts on a sheet of paper. Below each statement, write a positive way you could have responded.

Read them to yourself. You will find that over a short period, your mindset will begin to change to a positive response to yourself and inevitably to the people around you.

And lastly, leave the door open

While it is perfectly normal to hold back in any new relationship, after some time, if you’re still feeling apprehensive, check in with yourself. Are you punishing yourself out of fear that the new person will be just like others from your past? If it possible you are punishing yourself for thinking you do not deserve good relationships.

This could apply both to your personal relationships and even those say with a new boss or new coworkers.

Either way, ask yourself what is the outcome of your fear. Likely, one would be the new person walks away.

Or your boss or new coworkers distance themselves. Stop punishing those that were not a part of that memory. Allow them to earn your trust, confidence and love. Base your thoughts from that behavior, not your personal negative thoughts.

And as a final word I suggest you give yourself a pep talk every day.

Congratulate yourself for the good thoughts or actions you had with others.

And remember that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and that is okay. As Author Roy T. Bennett quoted in The Light in the Heart, “If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”

(And) that is what I suggest you do. And with this, I’m Vatsala Shukla from Karmic Ally Coaching signing off. See you in my next tip.