Win your challenges with our unique solutions

This post has already been read 2832 times!

When women professionals reach out to me for help, it’s usually along the lines of wanting to stand out and get recognized for their contribution to the workplace.

More importantly they want to know how to position themselves in the messy middle management tier where the route to promotions up the ladder seem hazy. HR or their boss isn’t able to articulate why another colleague who is not as competent got the plum job, assignment or promotion.

My simple answer? They need to hone their Executive Presence in order to raise their visibility and attract the right attention if they really want to rise up the corporate ladder.

They have to be seen as strong confident professionals possessing mental toughness or fortitude because the rules of the game change as we go up the ladder.

I know this from experience.

Mental toughness helped me get the upper hand during negotiations of a Golden Handshake severance package when my employer was downsizing and handed me the notice.

They insisted I continue to work at a seconded client location as long as they needed me!

This put me in a state of limbo as far as my employment was concerned as well as my residence status as I was on a work permit.

I also got this unfair employment condition removed with the help of a lawyer who pointed out the violation of labor laws. The client where I was seconded offered me a permanent position.

In my view, mental toughness is an inner strength that we can cultivate and learn. It means we have confidence and resilience to face challenges and adversities coming out winners by focusing on our end goal.

In my case, it was to leave with dignity and get a good reference which happened once the Managing Partner found out what my boss had done.

No firm or company worth its salt wants bad publicity and certainly not with a woman employee whose performance has been good. Definitely not one who was under notice while bringing in 7 times her daily cost to company from an important client.

Sadly, I still see more counselling than coaching at junior and middle management level. Even when there is coaching, it’s the employer’s agenda. It’s not that of the woman professional whose assertiveness might be seen as aggression thus commencing a spiral of self-confidence and esteem issues.

And it’s the same for any woman (or male) professional who wants to get ahead especially considering the trend towards a new business need for mental toughness, an area of strength identified by psychologists who believes that it is no longer enough for business leaders to be merely resilient.

People tend to think of mental toughness as being displays of aggression, bullying and general bad behavior. Perhaps if we were to refer to it as mental fortitude or mindset, mental toughness would get its dues as a critical developmental skill.

Mental toughness helps individuals focus on making things happen, without being distracted by their own or other peoples’ emotions.

These individuals are generally more engaged, more positive and exhibit a “can do” attitude. Mental toughness can be measured using the MTQ48, a reliable psychometric tool which is quick and easy to complete and provides a profile of overall mental toughness, as well as providing scores for a number of other characteristics.

When you have mental toughness, you don’t allow obstacles or excuses to block your way. Instead, you battle through regardless of any circumstance.

Derek Redmond’s Inspirational Story

One example that immediately came to mind when I started to write is the story of Derek Redmond and the semi-finals of the 400-meter race at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics.

Derek was a hot favorite for the gold medal and was already a champion having broken the British record in 1985 for the 400-meter race and the 4×400 meters relay gold medal at both the European Championships and Commonwealth Games in 1986.

The importance of his wins takes on a completely different meaning when one considers how many times his career was interrupted by injury and surgeries.

And yet, perseverance and mental strength brought him back each time.

Derek’s goal at Barcelona was to get that Gold Medal but fate had something else in store for him.

He tore his hamstring mid-track and fell to the ground in agony and THEN got up hopping to at least complete the race. The tears still well up in my eyes when I remember how his father ran to the tracks and helped his son finish the race.

That dear reader is what mental toughness and determination is all about. Derek is now a motivational speaker who encourages others to achieve their potential.

I was fortunate to find a clipping of that race courtesy the International Olympics Committee. I dare you to watch it without feeling a lump in your throat.

Your Habits affect Your Mental Toughness

Do you know that the level of your mental toughness is directly related to your habits?

A habit is a routine that you follow each day, almost without thinking. No one has to tell you to brush your teeth each morning, it is a habit.

How high would you say your mental toughness is? Answer the following:

• Do you give up on exercise when it gets tough?
• Do you find excuses for everything?
• Are you are stuck losing weight regardless of what you do?

If you answered yes to any of these then your mental toughness needs working on. When you allow excuses to stop you, you are only hurting yourself. It is not really your lack of motivation or willpower it is your lack of mental toughness.

The easiest way to improve your mental toughness is by developing your habits. Pick one thing that you want to become a habit and work on it. It only takes about three weeks for a habit to become ingrained in your mind. That really isn’t that long now is it?

If your doctor tells you your cholesterol levels are too high, opting for tablets to regulate it might sound like an easy solution but guess what? You’ll be on those tablets for the rest of your life.

Get tough mentally and stop eating junk food at your office desk. Instead get into the habit of walking for 5 minutes on the hour and eat a healthy salad or fruit. It’ll take longer to lower the cholesterol level but you have a better and more permanent solution.

It comes down to how determined you are. To succeed all you need is the perseverance to keep on going. In this example it means scheduling breaks and planning the quality of food intake. Then put tools into place which can include an accountability partner so that you succeed.

To become a mentally tough person you need to be willing to stay true to yourself. This entails not going off track and be willing to find a way to get things done without finding excuses for changing the habit.

Mental Toughness Trait can be developed

Here’s the good news. Mental toughness is not an inherited trait. Anyone can improve their mental toughness if they are prepared to take action. I share some tips on it in my post on handling life’s curve balls.

An example close to home is that of the Accountancy qualification that I studied towards back in London.

At the very beginning of our training, we were told that the firm hired 200 trainees each year but given the toughness of the exams, by the time the trainees complete the 3-year article period, there are usually only 20 left. In other words, 10% of the original intake.

It was even more daunting to know that the annual success rate for qualifying in the Institute was barely 2%.

Of course as youngsters out of college each one of us was confident we’d be the last 20 and part of the 2% who would qualify. That didn’t happen.

There were drop outs and those examinations where we competed at a national level made a root canal procedure feel easier. The prophecy was fulfilled.

As I reflect back on the original group and those of us who qualified, I realize the reason we succeeded while other more intelligent colleagues failed and had to say goodbye to their dreams had a lot to do with our mental toughness.

We were the ones who for one reason or another, had the right attitude and level of passion towards our goal – to be able to put the initials of ACA after our name.

If you are truly passionate about something then your mindset automatically changes. You have the drive and motivation to make it to all of your practices.

You are the one who stay up late at night studying for the exams after a full day’s work at the office or get up early in the morning when the mind is fresh to learn new knowledge.

Those exams involved testing us for our ability to handle pressure and our tutor had warned us to time our answers based on the marks which were visible in the answer sheet and as soon as time was up, we had to drop the answer and move to the next.

If we still had time left over then return to the question and complete the answer. No question was to be left unanswered in the 4 papers we were sitting. It was the difference between achieving our goal and being defeated by another candidate who had his exam strategy planned out.

In those 3 hours, our being brilliant didn’t matter as much as our ability to show we knew our stuff.

Our tutor even told us about diet and self-care regimes and I think I ate the most jacket potatoes with cheese and chamomile tea in my entire life during those exams. I was also at my healthiest and energetic self.

Those of us who cleared the exams in the first attempt had demonstrated the traits that are normally displayed by people with mental toughness.

These include:

• Motivation
• Positive mindset
• Self-control
• Good at handling pressure
• Being energetic

These are the type of people who can turn on a dime and change direction. If things don’t go their way they don’t get disappointed. They simply go with the flow and change course and adapt.

So if you have a goal or a dream that you want to reach you need to start making plans and taking action so you can achieve it. Map out a plan of attack and don’t let anything stand in your way.

Be flexible and ready to take action at any time. If something comes up and you miss your training time, don’t let it pass. Just reschedule it so that you get your session in.

When you can do these things, you are well on your way to showing that you do have what it takes to achieve your goals and dreams.

Do you have Mental Toughness?

People who are mentally tough are usually surrounded by successful people. They show traits such as being consistent, adhering to schedules and always approach things with a positive and professional mindset.

In other words, they know what their responsibilities are, and they carry them out.

If you currently don’t feel that tough, fret not because you can work on developing this trait and increasing your mental toughness.

Your first step is to define what the words “mental toughness” mean for you the way I did at the beginning of this post.

There is no one definition that suits everyone. So write down things that you could do that would imply you had mental toughness.

Here are a few examples:

• Not missing your workouts for the next 2 weeks
• Finishing your next project ahead of schedule
• Quit smoking
• Doing that extra rep before quitting
• Not missing family night with your kids

The only way to demonstrate that you have mental toughness is by taking action and by proving it to yourself!

Changing your mindset is one of the first steps to increasing your toughness. You need to have a positive mindset and be committed to following through with things.

Say you have decided to commit to a new exercise regimen for a month. You have to always think about this in a positive way and not allow yourself any excuses for missing your workouts.

It can help to view your mental toughness as one large muscle group. Just like any of your other muscles, it needs to be exercised and developed to keep working effectively.

When you are confident that you can now tackle things head on, your mental toughness muscle is growing nicely. Always keep that positive mindset about you and your mental toughness will not shrink or shirk when it comes to time to face any circumstance.

Click the above image and take the quiz!