Managing Emotional Vampires | Karmic Ally Coaching

Managing Emotional Vampires in your life without feeling drained out

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Is your energy constantly being drained by emotional vampires? Do you find some co-workers in your workplace toxic and exhausting?

The people around us affect how we feel and view the world.

There are plenty of reasons why some people may drain your energy more than others. You could be dealing with a narcissist, or someone who complains most of the time.

I had that experience with a friend with whom having a chat used to drain me of energy leaving me exhausted and low. Offering solutions made her angry and I wondered if she was toxic.

It was only when I realized our chats were always about her problems that I decided to do something about it.

For starters, the minute the complaining started, I’d mention some small problem of my own. That changed the conversation quickly.

When that stopped working, I started using psychic protection techniques while talking to her. I noticed the shift in energy and her getting agitated even though I was talking properly.

Shortly after, that friendship ended after a call when she shouted nonsense and never called again. What a relief!

You might know a couple of them too without realizing you’re in the presence of an energy vampire.

Here are a couple of energy vampire examples

The colleague who loves to share the latest gossip in the office and thrives on the attention it gets her.

The insecure friend or colleague, who speaks about their faults and shortcomings and you end up giving them motivating talks and positive feedback all the time.

How about the relative who always manages to mess up a family get together and makes sure everyone ends up fighting?

If you have an emotional vampire draining you dry, it’s time to start protecting your energy.

In this post you’ll discover how to recognize the signs of an emotional vampire, and the best ways to protect your energy.

This is important because you might have to deal with people both in your personal and professional life who you cannot avoid. You need to learn how to manage yourself and your interactions with them.

Let’s start with the basics first.

What is an Emotional Vampire?

An emotional vampire is someone who unconsciously evokes emotions in others specifically to feed on the triggered emotional energy.

If you hear any of these terms, like energy vampires, psychic vampires, psychopaths, or sociopaths, then that is an emotional vampire.

The term emotional vampire was first used by psychologist Judith Orloff in her book Emotional Freedom. In that book she highlights 4 different types of vampires and linked each one to various psychological disorders.

Understanding the different types of Emotional Vampires

Emotional vampires come in a variety of forms. They include:

Victims
Narcissists
Constant talkers
Controllers
Drama queens

Each type of emotional vampire will leave you feeling tired and deflated after being in their company.

Victim emotional vampires are the people who always play the victim, even when they are the perpetrator. Narcissists are only interested in their own thoughts and feelings, while constant talkers drain your mental energy.

Most of us know at least one type of emotional vampire in our lives. Not sure how to identify them?

There are a few signs to watch out for…

Tell-Tale Signs You Are Dealing with An Emotional Vampire

There are several tell-tale signs that can help you decide if you’re dealing with an emotional vampire.

The main signs to watch out for include:

You feel mentally exhausted after spending time with them.
Feeling depressed or anxious around them.
You feel like they are putting you down.
You turn to comfort eating or drinking alcohol after being around them.

Everyone who encounters an emotional vampire will feel at least one of the signs I mentioned.

You basically don’t feel great when you spend time with them.

An important point I want to make is that being an emotional vampire doesn’t mean that person is always a vampire.

It’s a function of the situation and conditions that determine the level and degree of vampirism.

We ourselves might be energy vampires from time to time.

This happens when we’re not happy with our lives or careers and find it challenging to stay in a state of flow. It’s the time when our view of the world and our lives is bleak.

Instead of positive thinking, we might indulge in toxic positivity where we numb our inner turmoil and pain.

We smile to hide what’s going on inside, but our energy is that of a vampire looking for a quick fix to our problem.

In other words, the condition of a person and their environment can lead to vampirism.

How Vampirism relates to Maslow’s Hierarchy

To put this in context, we all know about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which starts with basic needs all the way to self-actualization or self-realization needs.

Maslow labelled all of our basic needs as deficiency needs and external needs. Things like biological, safety, belonging, and esteem needs are deficiency needs in that when we aren’t meeting them, we feel anxious or neurotic.

And they are external needs because we seek to meet them through the outside world. An underlying sense of deficiency drives us to meet these basic needs.

So, when we aren’t feeling secure, safe and complete, we seek this outside of ourselves and indulge in vampirism.

Protecting Your Energy

If you are dealing with an emotional vampire, how can you stop them from draining your energy?

The good news is there are strategies you can use to deal with them.

First, if you can, you should distance yourself from the person.

Avoiding being around an emotional vampire is the best way to stop them negatively impacting you.

You should know the signs of their vampirism and toxic behavior.

If the vampire is in the workplace, then my micro course on detoxing your toxic workplace will give you all the strategies and tactics on a practical level.

In a situation where you can’t distance yourself, make sure you are practicing self-care. Taking care of yourself will allow you to feel more confident to set healthy boundaries.

You will naturally be more assertive and protective over your time. So, if you don’t already, set aside time every day to focus on you.

Pamper yourself, take care of your own needs first, and watch how your energy and tolerance changes for negative people.

If caught unawares, try one of these techniques to close your energy field and aura to the vampire.

One method that works well for me is to sit with my legs crossed at the ankles with the fingers of each hand touching those of the other hand at chest level.

When sitting is not possible, then place one or both hands over your navel region. This hand position creates an energetic seal.

If you are really struggling to handle an emotional vampire in your life, you can also turn to therapy. Seeking help from a professional will enable you to understand why you can’t deal with the problem, as well as provide solutions that can help.

Emotional vampires are everywhere today. It isn’t always possible to get away from them immediately, but there are things you can do in the meantime to protect yourself and your energy.