Win your challenges with our unique solutions

This post has already been read 1096 times!

Ever had the unsavory experience of working for a mercurial boss? You know, the Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde type?

I have and I can tell you from first-hand experience that working with an unpredictable volatile boss is rough on one’s mental health and confidence.

This particular ex-boss used to blow hot and cold. He’d leave the employee of his attention completely confused by being friendly one minute and then snubbing them or worse yelling at them in front of the entire office the next minute (which is humiliating in an open office setup).

He was low on Emotional Intelligence and made my life miserable with his unpredictable behavior. I was grateful to God when I was transferred to another department where they needed my experience for a particular project and we didn’t need to interact with each other too much.

This man had been brought into the company for a specific purpose. He was a pro at keeping top management happy who could see what was happening to the department morale but ignored complaints making things worse.

Things came to a head when he tried the same stunt on the tea boy who decided to stand up for himself and literally threw the rule book at the Managing Director. This man had to formally apologize and after that things got a little better.

There’s a big difference between a boss who might occasionally lose his cool when there are deadlines and he’s under pressure and one who needs to manage his emotions and behavior.

Intimidation and mood swings don’t lend to emotional intelligence.

The story I’ve shared is 20 years old. Had this behavior been repeated in today’s day and age, the boss would have been out of the door or there would at least have been an inquiry.

Our employers have a duty to provide us with a safe workplace but it is equally important that we be proactive in creating psychological safety for ourselves.

I wasn’t surprised when I read that Management expert and psychologist Dr. Robert Hogan said in 2016 that “seventy percent of American workers would take a pay-cut, if someone would fire their boss.”

For the record, the young tea boy went on to open an office catering business and was doing well in later years.

Perhaps standing up for himself and owning his worth in the workplace gave him the confidence to reach for his dreams.

If you feel you’re being bullied, then I have provided detailed guidance in my post on handling workplace bullying.

In this post, we’ll focus on some coping strategies to protect your well-being and career.

Consider these tips for dealing with an unstable hot-headed boss.

3 Steps to safeguard yourself from the boss’s unpredictable behavior

Step 1: Stay calm, stay positive.

It can be hard not to take things personally during the boss’s outburst but keeping yourself calm and collected is important. Unless you’re really bad at your job, know that such behavior is more about them than you.

Staying calm helps you to stay in control of the situation and not add fuel to an already burning fire.

If you feel you’re about to lose your cool or composure, step away from the situation. It could be excusing yourself to get a glass of water or just walking a bit. That’s how I used to take time out to reclaim my composure.

Likewise, maintain a positive attitude. That will help you stay productive and keep a control on your stress levels.

What’s the worst that can happen? You might decide to update your resume and find a better job elsewhere.

Whenever my clients feel overwhelmed by their boss, I always advise them to take the proactive step of updating their LinkedIn profiles, resume and explore opportunities.

The very action of doing a passive job search gives us the confidence that there are other jobs elsewhere that might lead to a fulfilling career.

Make sure you’re not contributing to the outbursts.

When you’re working with someone, you tend to get to know their inclinations and triggers for mood swings.

I recommend working on your timing and figure out the times and situations when your boss tends to be more approachable. That’s one way of demonstrating Emotional Intelligence.

They may be less perturbed by negative news after lunch or on days without management meetings.

Prevent becoming a victim by making sure you put your agreements in writing.

Document all tasks by creating a paper trail with email and other evidence that you can refer to when there’s a conflict.

It will also provide valuable evidence if your boss is also malicious and if matters come up with HR at a future date.

 If you think it would be helpful, consult HR or a colleague that you trust. Be tactful and discreet so your boss won’t think you’re going over their head.

5 Ways to manage your Boss

If you are currently dealing with a quixotic boss, here are 5 ways to handle him or her immediately.

1. Look for patterns. I mentioned triggers earlier. Can you spot the triggers behind your boss’s behavior? Maybe they expect you to respond immediately to their emails or they act grumpier when deadlines approach. If you can anticipate stressful times, you’ll be able to plan for them.
2. Ask questions. Clarify priorities and expectations. Let your boss know that you care about your work and want to cooperate.
3. Focus on content. Not everyone is an effective communicator. Try to distinguish between what your boss is saying and how they say it. Look for the kernel of truth in their feedback even if you think they’re exaggerating. Be open to their worthwhile ideas even if it creates extra tasks for you.
4. Empathize and validate. Look for ways to be supportive while you’re having conflicts. Let your boss know that you realize the pressures they’re under. You can listen attentively and acknowledge their emotions without having to agree with their choices.
5. Express appreciation. While you’re dealing with their unpredictability, remember what you like about your boss. Demonstrating some sincere gratitude and kindness could create a more positive foundation for your interactions.

Always remember, you’re not married to your job or company.

There is always the probability that despite your best efforts, you won’t be able to handle the boss’s behavior or the toxic workplace ambiance. Especially if his or her bosses will back them because they are indispensable at the time.

If anything, learn from them and what you don’t want to be when you become the boss.