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Let’s get one thing straight. I’m not an advocate of the ‘fake it till you make it’ tactic. I do know there are times when we need to appear confident even if we’re not particularly feeling that way.
One body language tip that not only helps us appear confident but can actually work on the sub-conscious mind to make us feel confident has to do with the eyebrows.
Used properly, it can assist in demonstrating Executive Presence.
Folklore about the Underdog becoming the Top Dog that raised Eyebrows in Court
Back in the days when my diplomat father was posted in Kabul, the long winter season meant staying at home and reading books. It was too cold to go out and play.
It was around this time that I was presented with a book full of folklore from all over the world. I read a story about how an underdog Japanese Hero fought the Fiercest Warrior in the Kingdom to transform from underdog to Top Dog. He won the hand of the princess in marriage which was the main prize.
I must have been 10 years old at the time. Having long forgotten the name of the story, the eyebrow part remains evergreen in my memory.
Apparently, the Ladies of the Court had, according to the fashion and standards of beauty of that time, shaved and painted high eyebrows which went up in amazement.
At one point in the story, they disappeared into their hairline when the underdog Hero was making mash of the Fiercest Warrior in the Kingdom.
Looking back, I suspect that was the beginning of my fascination with facial expressions in general but certainly eyebrows!
Since children are normally treated as flies on the wall, it was easy to observe the adults.
This included my parents and teachers. The school principal was a good object of study because his mustache moved too along with his eyebrows.
I didn’t spare the house help or parents of my friends. My sample included just about anybody who qualified as ancient from a 10-year-old child’s perspective.
I even recruited my younger sister and friends, and we had fun.
What was meant to be a fun game ended up teaching me quite a bit about the role of eyebrows as expressions of confidence and assertive body language.
Indicating assertiveness with your eyebrows
Step 3 in my book Self Confidence in 8 Steps, shares 2 self-coaching exercises to implement confident attitudes.
In this post, we’ll look at a few ways to exhibit confidence and assertiveness to support the inner work that is required for change with our eyebrows.
Believe it or not but eyebrow control is absolutely crucial during the early days of imbibing self-confidence and an assertive stance. If the eyes are the mirror of the Soul, then the eyebrows can help you wing it until you get the hang of being assertive.
An assertive person’s eyebrows are relaxed and will match the tone of voice. A person who is passive would raise their eyebrows indicating lack of assurance and a desire to please. Eyebrows that are pulled downwards indicates aggression or lack of clarity.
Try it. Go to the mirror and try out expressions based on your inner feelings and see what happens with your eyebrows. Better yet, observe others. You’ll get the drift.
Make your assertive and confident stance even more effective by maintaining good eye contact with the person that you are talking to. Take it a step further by standing tall in a relaxed manner.
In my post Executive Presence & Professional Brand needs a Strong Vocabulary I mentioned that body language comprises 55% of effective communications.
Practicing eyebrow control is winning more than half the battle right there.
Supplement your body language with a steady, firm, medium pitched tone of voice. Stress on your key words delivered in a warm, clear and sincere manner using your Signature Voice.
Apply these tips and you can exude self-confidence and assertiveness even on a day when you are far from feeling it.
How do you cover up your moments of passive behavior?
Additional Assertiveness Resources
There are lots of posts to help you with your assertive behavior at my blog. Here is a small selection including my book Self Confidence in 8 Steps.
You can also visit Amazon India
Executive Presence & Professional Brand needs a Strong Vocabulary
Karmic Ally Coaching’s Executive Presence Checklist
When your time management is not enough
Japanese Warrior Picture Credit: Pixabay
Disclosure: If you purchase a product through a link on my site, there’s a good chance I’ll receive some kind of “thank you money” from the company or person I referred you to. For more details, check out my full disclosure policy (link is also available at the bottom of every page).
Wow, I’ve never heard that before. Will have to keep my eyes peeled for eyebrows from now on.
You will enjoy the new revelations, Barb. Have fun! 🙂
I love how much you observed and studied facial and eye brow expression. I’m with you about not being a fan of “fake it till you make it”, I think it is good to notice where we are and get inspired to move forward. Faking it can make us feel… fake.
Faking it never helps because at some point we might trip up and that can cause potential credibility loss, Rachel. We don’t have to share a sad saga but yes, being authentic is important.
Eyes are so expressive. They can definitely tell a story & your thoughts. I was told at a very young age how expressive I was with mine. It was something others really enjoyed seeing.
Our eyes are the mirror of our Souls, Heather, and reveal a lot about a person’s frame of mind, intent and even health.
Such an interesting article, Vatsala! Definitely food for observation. I have my eyebrows done professionally and love the feeling of bringing that aspect of myself forward.
Once you start, Laurie, it will become an instant observation when dealing with others as well as a chance to appear confident in situations where you are out of your comfort zone. Enjoy the experience!
This is an interesting topic and something I shall pay closer attention to as I talk with others. I agree – I’m not a fan of “fake it to make it”, either. Insightful post!
Glad to be in good company on the ‘fake it to make it’ perspective, Cindy. Your travels will provide ample opportunity to try this technique.
Vatsala, I love this and your quotes are superb. My eyebrows are hidden under my fringe and it was only recently when get made up someone did my eyebrows- I have to think on this xx
Thanks Suzie. Enjoy rediscovering the joys of using your eyebrows for effectively communicating confidence!
Interesting idea. I’ve interviewed scores of people, in numerous situations and never focused specifically on eyebrows. Food for thought. Thanks.
I can assure you Andrea, interviews will never be the same again as you will be able to pick up cues from the eyebrow you hadn’t noticed before. 🙂
What a fun post. I’m going to let my eyebrows do the talking!
You’ll enjoy the exercise, Reba. Make sure you also note the other person’s response. 🙂
This is fascinating, Vatsala! Body language is truly a give away, as are expressions. But I’d never thought of eyebrows! Now I’ll be watching everybody’s. Lol.
I do it all the time, Susan, especially when I have to deal with people for work to gauge whether we are on the same page or not. Mind you, I also make sure my eyebrows don’t send out the wrong message. 😉
Amazing, Vatsala….
Thanks Francisca. I’m sure you’ll never ignore your eyebrows again. 🙂