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Let’s get one thing straight. I’m not an advocate of the ‘fake it till you make it’ tactic. I do know there are times when we need to appear confident even if we’re not particularly feeling that way.
One body language tip that not only helps us appear confident but can actually work on the sub-conscious mind to make us feel confident has to do with the eyebrows.
Used properly, it can assist in demonstrating Executive Presence.
Folklore about the Underdog becoming the Top Dog that raised Eyebrows in Court
Back in the days when my diplomat father was posted in Kabul, the long winter season meant staying at home and reading books. It was too cold to go out and play.
It was around this time that I was presented with a book full of folklore from all over the world. I read a story about how an underdog Japanese Hero fought the Fiercest Warrior in the Kingdom to transform from underdog to Top Dog. He won the hand of the princess in marriage which was the main prize.
I must have been 10 years old at the time. Having long forgotten the name of the story, the eyebrow part remains evergreen in my memory.
Apparently, the Ladies of the Court had, according to the fashion and standards of beauty of that time, shaved and painted high eyebrows which went up in amazement.
At one point in the story, they disappeared into their hairline when the underdog Hero was making mash of the Fiercest Warrior in the Kingdom.
Looking back, I suspect that was the beginning of my fascination with facial expressions in general but certainly eyebrows!
Since children are normally treated as flies on the wall, it was easy to observe the adults.
This included my parents and teachers. The school principal was a good object of study because his mustache moved too along with his eyebrows.
I didn’t spare the house help or parents of my friends. My sample included just about anybody who qualified as ancient from a 10-year-old child’s perspective.
I even recruited my younger sister and friends, and we had fun.
What was meant to be a fun game ended up teaching me quite a bit about the role of eyebrows as expressions of confidence and assertive body language.
Indicating assertiveness with your eyebrows
Step 3 in my book Self Confidence in 8 Steps, shares 2 self-coaching exercises to implement confident attitudes.
In this post, we’ll look at a few ways to exhibit confidence and assertiveness to support the inner work that is required for change with our eyebrows.
Believe it or not but eyebrow control is absolutely crucial during the early days of imbibing self-confidence and an assertive stance. If the eyes are the mirror of the Soul, then the eyebrows can help you wing it until you get the hang of being assertive.
An assertive person’s eyebrows are relaxed and will match the tone of voice. A person who is passive would raise their eyebrows indicating lack of assurance and a desire to please. Eyebrows that are pulled downwards indicates aggression or lack of clarity.
Try it. Go to the mirror and try out expressions based on your inner feelings and see what happens with your eyebrows. Better yet, observe others. You’ll get the drift.
Make your assertive and confident stance even more effective by maintaining good eye contact with the person that you are talking to. Take it a step further by standing tall in a relaxed manner.
In my post Executive Presence & Professional Brand needs a Strong Vocabulary I mentioned that body language comprises 55% of effective communications.
Practicing eyebrow control is winning more than half the battle right there.
Supplement your body language with a steady, firm, medium pitched tone of voice. Stress on your key words delivered in a warm, clear and sincere manner using your Signature Voice.
Apply these tips and you can exude self-confidence and assertiveness even on a day when you are far from feeling it.
How do you cover up your moments of passive behavior?
Additional Assertiveness Resources
There are lots of posts to help you with your assertive behavior at my blog. Here is a small selection including my book Self Confidence in 8 Steps.
You can also visit Amazon India
Executive Presence & Professional Brand needs a Strong Vocabulary
Karmic Ally Coaching’s Executive Presence Checklist
When your time management is not enough
Japanese Warrior Picture Credit: Pixabay
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This is very useful – I never gave it much thought. It is the little things that make the biggest impression. I have known that more is often said non-verbally than verbally. People judge you based on how you dress, how your makeup is done (or not done) and knowing that no matter what I’m wearing I can fix it with my eyebrows. Definitely one for the confidence toolbox I have. Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure, Tamara. Enjoy your new confidence tool.
Definitely useful, I’ve never thought of the eyebrows much, moreso always focused on entire facial expressions – but these are good points and I’ll be payments more specific attention now 😉
It is the little things that give us away, Natalie. Another tool to add to your self-confidence box. 🙂
This is really interesting and good to know Vatsala! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Most welcome, Joan. Enjoy observing eyebrows to gauge the feelings and emotions of people that you interact with. 😉
Oh how fun! I would have thought to look at the eyes or facial expressions, but not the eyebrows. Unless someone is mad, then I’d notice the change in the eyebrows shape for sure!
What a cool idea for me to play with from now on, Vatsala!
I can assure you Delia, you will enjoy yourself observing others. The best part is that you will also know how to display your own confidence when interacting with clients and others. 😉
Interesting information I have never really thought much about the eyebrows as a way of conveying confidence. Usually I have look at it as a sign of surprise or quander. Thanks for sharing, something new to think about.
Glad to provide some food for thought, Joe. Our eyes and our eyebrows give away a lot of information to others without our realizing it.
What an interesting story Vatsala. I knew the eyes were the window to the soul but had no idea the eyebrows gave so much away about how we feel. I’m going to practice today. 🙂
Have fun Tamuria. You can also use this knowledge when interacting with others to gauge their mood and feelings. 🙂
Love the story! My son uses his eyebrows in the most creative ways to express emotion. He doesn’t even have to say a word. I’ve tried, other than the frown and curiousity, I’ll have to stand in front of the mirror and try other emotions.
Practice makes perfect, Gisele. Looks like your son is an effective communicator!
The first thing that came to mind for me was my mother warning me not to pluck my eyebrows when I was young, as they would not grow back, Vatsala. I have to say, she was right, as I do not have very pronounced eyebrows now and generally pencil them in. The interesting part of this, is to look at the different shapes and intensities of people’s eyebrows, as often very thick eyebrows are the first thing that greet you on a person’s face, regardless of their expression. I know that smiling also affects the eyebrows and softens the overall look. Some people I imagine also have great facility in how they control their eyebrows, with one going up (as in a scolding parent), while the other stays fixed. I really enjoyed the story behind this post and love how you’ve included this into your book on helping others to put their best foot…and eyebrow…forward to others.
As kids, my sister and I did get up to lots of interesting activities which we laugh at now. 🙂
Your Mom is right, Beverley. I personally have never been a slave to fashion when it came to my eyebrows – even in the Brooke Shields era when my friends were tweezing their eyebrows to make them straight lines. Perhaps it was my love for Mughal and Ancient Indian paintings where the eyebrows had perfect arches that made me want mine to be naturally expressive and communicative.
Great story Vatsala and I was not aware that eyebrows played such a big part in body language. Spent a while today watching others as they went about their business and saw exactly what you mean. Now that I have this power, I suspect I will be using it quite often to gauge the people around me. 🙂
Knowledge is power, Ian, and I think you will enjoy this little activity to gauge people around you. 🙂
What an interesting subject Vatsala! Who knew all this was going on behind those eyebrows… tee-hee… I’ll be watching them closely from now on! 🙂
Thanks Norma. It is fun and more importantly, will help you understand the passive language of others as well as correct your own to convey the ‘right’ message. 🙂