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How to avoid Emotional Distancing for good Mental Health

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Gnome in tree stump wondering how to avoid emotional distancing for mental health during lock down

 

 

The best way to learn about leadership and other management concepts and practices is through case studies and seeing it being done hands on.

Who would have thought this COVID-19 pandemic would provide a living global case study and the leaders would be those who are leading their citizens on a peacetime war effort against an invisible enemy, a virus with no known cure?

As an Indian citizen, Prime Minister Narendra Modi is an incredible example of leadership and statesmanship who is leading from the front as well as supporting the efforts of other countries.

I’m still working out his leadership power base that compels a country of 1.3 billion people to go into complete lock down with only 4 hours’ notice for 21 days.

It’s definitely not just charisma. He has his finger on the pulse of the nation.

Why else would his second talk to the nation in the first week of the lock down get a record TRP on national television- not to mention how he’s keeping the morale of a nation going?

The ultimate compliment was the British Prime Minister using the same opening lines with addressing his nation!

One thing that I do know is he had a world class mentor in the form of former prime minister, freedom fighter and poet, late Atal Bihari Vajpayee.

We can all benefit from the right mentor in our careers and I’ve got the perfect resource to help you find the Right One.

 

Career Professional Mentor Toolkit

 

One thing Mr Modi said struck a chord in many hearts – Social Distancing should not mean Emotional Distancing.

An infection outbreak is a stressful time that often requires the adoption of stringent but necessary measures.

During a pandemic, people are forced to self-isolate to curb the spread of the disease and prevent new infections. It is a critical aspect of mitigating the disease, and as such, everyone should play their role adequately.

Self-isolation has two objectives: To protect yourself and to protect others.

Knowing how to behave and act when one is alone or when they are among other people is essential. Therefore, you need to develop the right attitude and reflexes when self-isolating.

While maintaining limited contact with others, washing hands every 20 minutes, maintaining hygiene and self-monitoring is important, we must not forget that we are human and that quality cannot be lost.

We are social animals not accustomed to isolation and this affects our mental health.

There is another very important reason why I’m concerned about the impact of social distancing even though right now that seems to be the only way to control the spread of COVID-19 – the increase in suicides linked to the COVID-19 crisis.

Just in the last 24 hours, we’ve had reports of 2 suicides on national television. One was a COVID-19 patient who chose to end his life rather than face the fear of possible death from this virus.

Another person who was under quarantine wanted to go home despite doctors and nurses assuring him he would once the quarantine period was over. Imagine the state of mind of this young man in his 30’s that he choose to jump to his death from the 7th floor of the hospital.

If this is the psycho-social repercussion in otherwise healthy people who could not face isolation and fear of an uncertain future, then imagine an already vulnerable section of society that have prior mental health issues and the elderly?

It’s not just India, in an article that I read last night on the Scientific American website, my concerns are validated – COVID-19 is likely to lead to an increase in Suicides.

Hence for all intents and purposes, we must avoid Emotional Distancing.

Here’s what I suggest.

 

5 ways to avoid Emotional Distancing when you need to keep Social Distance

 

Gnome using 5 ways to avoid emotional distancing while keeping social distance

 

Keeping in Touch

I’m keeping in touch with friends either on the phone or via social media. If I find a good joke on Facebook, I acknowledge the source and share it forward. Making people smile when most of us are worried is a good deed.

When you’re getting in touch with people, make it your intention to truly connect with them and how they’re feeling. Ask questions, do active listening and listen more than you talk.

Let them know you have their undivided attention. If you’re on zoom or skype, make eye contact and share from the heart. Use your emotional intelligence skill to connect at a deeper level.

 

Gnome keeping in touch with face time during lock down

 

It’s a time when strong friendships and bonds can be forged.

I’ve personally seen a professional contact on LinkedIn turn into a supportive long distance friend all because our chat turned to managing senior citizen pets during lock down which led to lots of communications and sharing photos of our pets and generally giving each other a morale boost.

 

Thinking of vulnerable individuals

 

Keep your social distance but don't forget to think of other vulnerable members of society

 

Whatever you do during self-isolation, always think of vulnerable individuals around you. Susceptible groups include people at the extreme ends of age and people suffering from chronic and pre-existing conditions like diabetes, asthma, etc.

Think of these people and try to put them first in everything you do during self-isolation, whether diagnosed with the infection or not.

I’m starting to learn about how many of my friends are in the high risk category now than I did earlier. It means we can be there for each other when required.

 

Seek help when needed

You should not hesitate to ask your healthcare provider for help if you have any problem or you are not sure about something. Self-isolation does not mean you should figure things out on your own.

If you develop a symptom, before you decide to self-medicate, ask someone else with authority and knowledge for advice and confirmation.

If you start to experience anxiety or start having fearful thoughts, reach out to a friend and chat or an online mental health service where you can talk to someone.

Maintaining a journal is also a good self-help tool to help you assess your state of mind and even discover more about yourself.

 

Stay informed

Keep yourself informed for new developments during lock down

 

Make it a habit to always stay informed. Follow news updates on the outbreak and go beyond by reading scientific articles related to the outbreak. The more you know about the disease, the better you will be equipped to help fight it.

One thing though, always ensure that your sources are reliable and not hysteria creating fake news on social media.

 

Think Positive

While it is essential to stay informed about the progress of the pandemic, you should not let the news of growing number of cases or even deaths impact you negatively.

Remember that bad news always sells very well.

Do not get in their game. Be informed but do not be influenced by what you hear. Always keep a positive outlook on things and find ways to distract yourself.

All of these actions will help you maintain good mental health.

And if you want more guidance for self-management for good mental health, I’ve got you covered in my blog post How to keep good mental health in lock down.

Prime Minister Modi also possesses a skill that is useful for a national leader – Emotional Intelligence. Why not take a page from his book and check if you possess this leadership skill too?

 

Checklist - do your colleagues think you are emotionally intelligent?

 

What steps are you taking to stay grounded in these uncertain times?

 

 

 

10 Responses to “How to avoid Emotional Distancing for good Mental Health”

  1. I love your thoughts on this topic Vatsala. From working with domestic violence cases and with suicide patients…I can easily say that almost every vulnerable demographic is having a very very hard time just now. I pray your suggestions and our prayers ease their suffering and they get the right help in this crucial time.

    • Karmic Ally says:

      Thank you Zeenat. We have quite a few senior citizens in my complex who are retired colleagues of my Dad and if they are keeping themselves going, which is tough right now despite knowing there are people around to assist, imagine how challenging it is for those already vulnerable to emotional distress. I’m joining you from the heart in the prayers.

  2. Debra Reble says:

    Thank you Vatsala for sharing your post on this timely topic. As a mental health professional, I’ve bee coaching my clients to make sure they are connecting with their friends and loved ones. Social distancing is not the same as emotional distancing and we need to stay in touch to stay well. Much love <3

    • Karmic Ally says:

      Thanks for validating my request to readers to keep in touch with others during this time,Debra.It was during one of those keep in touch sessions that I discovered a dear friend had recently had a major surgery and was able to reinforce the support system required during these challenging times for my friend.

  3. Ruthie Lewis says:

    Exactly my thoughts, Vatsala! Emotional distancing is just as dangerous as the virus! It breaks my heart to think of those in nursing homes who are literally dying of loneliness, not even able to be with their resident friends, not even for meals. And then I think of the impact this is having on my own grandchildren.

    Much love

    • Karmic Ally says:

      I understand, Ruthie. We have senior citizens in our housing society whose children live in other cities and countries and their concern for their children and grandchildren is visible. We need to keep connected even if social distancing is the panacea for this deadly virus.

  4. Barbara Parcells says:

    We have to be care to find the healthy place between being glued to the news and dismissing it because it upsets us. We can stay informed while still staying positive.

    • Karmic Ally says:

      Absolutely, Barbara. I do check the news for any government updates and possible good developments. Apart from that, if I have the television on, it’s to watch a movie or two to distract me.

  5. Heather Maria says:

    It is important to stay calm and not stressed. Even though most of us are home and away from work at this time, which would typically be a time to destress, the viewpoint and perspective became akew. Instead of taking this time as a time to relax and destress and enjoy life in a non stressful way, coming back into alignment, finding love, peace and joy within themselves, others and this world, the “negative” side was often viewed and given. I shared Archangel Jeremiel’s message in my blog this week. I share his thoughts and more. My hope is that this world will find peace.
    I have been doing what I can to offer that to others, in whatever way that I can. My door is open.

    • Karmic Ally says:

      Thank you Heather Maria for sharing your insights and words of wisdom. Keeping one’s door open for those who need emotional and spiritual support is the kindest thing one can do right now.

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