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It’s never a good idea to alienate people or intentionally ruin one’s reputation, whether in your personal or professional life – offline or online.

With 1.52 billion (March 2014: 802 million) daily active users and 2.32 billion (March 2014: 602 million) monthly active users on average in December 2018, there is no doubt in my mind that Facebook is a very popular social media site for connecting with friends and joining Groups in a more informal ambiance than LinkedIn.

Facebook is also a great place to network and used with adept, a great social networking tool as well.

What this also means is that one has to take reputation management into consideration while engaging on Facebook and ensure that we don’t alienate people with wrong speech or action.

There is something else that many professionals may not be aware of but social media recruiting is in trend. I read sometime back that in 2010 approximately 30% of employers were using Facebook to screen potential employees. In a more recent survey by CareerBuilder, 51% of employers rejected candidates based on their findings at their social media accounts compared to 34% in 2012.

Quite clearly if you are in the job market looking for employment, know that your social media activity can be an important factor in landing a coveted job position.

Here’s my take on 8 ways one can actually create the wrong impression while engaging on Facebook.  Enjoy!

Update March 2019: I’ve included the transcript for you if you prefer reading to watching a video (even though its more fun 🙂 )

Transcript of Facebook Tips to compel others to Unfriend You and run away

Hi. This is Vatsala Shukla from The Karmic Ally Coaching Experience and today I thought, let me do my blog post for the week in a slightly different manner.

I started off actually thinking about the activities people engage in on Facebook, and also the fact that a lot of the recruiters nowadays visit Facebook and professionals Facebook Profiles and in fact, I read an article earlier this morning that actually stated that many times a job application or job interview is actually denied because of something the ‘search may have picked up on the internet.

So today, I’m going to talk a little bit about How to Alienate People and Ruin Your Reputation on Facebook.

Now those of you who have been with this blog for a long time would remember last year in August when I had posted a post The Tale of Friends Turning Fiends on a Facebook Wall Invasion and tips to tackle it.

In that one, I have included links to Facebook etiquette as well as a lot of other information but the story I think, which was a true one, which caught everyone’s fancy was that of the bare chested fellow who befriended me and then started posting photographs of himself on my Wall with chains.

Finally, I unfriended him and just as an update to that post, the last time I heard from him, he was trying to connect with people on LinkedIn and I’m sure you would have guessed by now that this guy has been a no no and will stay a no no.

So the first tip that I would like to give is about over-sharing yourself.

Now this happens quite a lot and in fact some of my friends are also guilty of it though of course I indulge them, but what I usually do if they are crowding my newsfeed with tons and tons of posts one after the other, I just mute them. Something similar to what you can do on Google Plus. (And) It’s not really good manners.

People don’t have enough time to look through ALL your posts. Post relevant. Don’t post 10 posts in a go. Not good manners, whatsoever and can make people who don’t know you think you’re a narcissist.

Is that the image or reputation that you want?

The other one is about appropriate photos and especially Selfies. I’m seeing a lot of that recently. Any number of blog posts from coaches and social media experts will tell you to post appropriate photos.

Now a Selfie every now and then is good but then you have to put in certain filters to make sure only your friends see it. Along with that, may I point out that do not tag people in photographs that may not be very complimentary to them. I mean, it’s a great way to lose friends and alienate people.

The 3^rd one which everyone knows is PLEASE do not vent about your work.

Now you may have friend who may be friends with someone else and while it may make you feel good at the moment that your boss is a Jerk, supposing you’re friendly with someone who is actually is a friend of your Boss. And the word gets back to your Boss.

Do you have any idea what’s going to happen with your annual appraisal or what will happen when you come into work the next day?

My advice is, play it safe and vent elsewhere. If you really must vent, then private message friends and take their guidance, get their sympathy or just pick up the phone and talk to somebody whom you trust.

By the same token, please, please please, if you really want to lose friends and alienate others – please,  please, please FLAME OTHERS!

Embarrass others and put your reputation at risk. Nobody likes Flamers or bad manners, especially if you are commenting on a comment of somebody else’s and you don’t know the dynamics.

Many times our friends have friends whom we do not know and we might not know the circumstances. So please abide by this only at the risk of damaging your own reputation.

Well this one is a quite a new one and it’s been happening quite a bit with me in the last few weeks  where friends who have not been in touch with me and even forgot my birthday back in April, have suddenly started adding me to Groups without my knowledge or permission.

At first I thought, okay, it’s their way of trying to get back in touch when a simple ‘how are you, Vatsala?’ would have done but friends who I meet through various groups that I’m a part of have also been adding me.

This is also a complete No No because you may not share the same interests as the other person just because you joined them for a blog challenge group or a Get Your Goals Done Group does not necessarily mean that they would be interested in anti-terrorist activities or that they wish to voice their concerns about the price of bread. So be careful.

If you have to add. Ask for their permission. Let them know this. Nothing worse than having someone get added and then they’re leaving the Group and Group Manager will also notice that ‘oh, this person left’. Not good for your reputation. Not good for your friendship.

By the same token, you know, you can also lose by association. This is the same thing I was telling about making comments. Sometimes its better you know to stay discreet, and even if you are seeing a friend’s post, you DON’T have to comment on each and every post of theirs, unless you are in the stalking business or you are trying to catch their attention.

It can actually irritate people and doesn’t show you up in a good light in front of others who may not actually know you.

And the final one that I would like to mention is sending out these Friend Requests strangers.

Now one thing you need to be very clear about is that Facebook is supposed to help you to connect with your friends, and share what’s going on in your life and yes, there will be lots of people you may have met through the Groups I was telling you about or through Pages and you may wish to make friends with them.

That’s fine. Send them a Friend Request. If they feel the same way as you do, they’ll make friends with you but there’s nothing worse than actually going through profiles and then sending out requests to complete strangers.

I mean it’s happened with me once or twice and I’ve had a look at the profile and thought okay, we’ve got some things in common and I’ll allow them in.

And the next thing I know, I seem to have become an Add Me On, asking me most inappropriate questions whether it’s in private or Wall posts and unfriending has to be done.

So it’s also not good for you because Facebook does ask you when your confirming friend requests whether you know the person from outside and if too many people say I don’t know this person, then you can actually be locked out. So beware about that one. It’s not good for you or for your reputation. And if you still need more help in trying to create your reputation or brand whether its on Facebook or any other social media site, then please do check out this link of mine.

I’ve created a course called Crack the Code to your Professional Brand and Create an Awesome Online Presence which will make sure you don’t get into too much trouble. So Bye for now.

PS. If your curiosity has been aroused about the Friend turned Fiend, here’s the link to the original post!

The Tale of Friends Turning Fiends on a Facebook Wall Invasion and Tips to Tackle It

Did I miss any mistakes?  Please do share in the comments box below. Thanks!

Written By: Vatsala Shukla 

Facebook Statistic Source: http://newsroom.fb.com/company-info/