Thanks Andrea. A healthy sense of self is a key quality to being successful in any area of life.

Thank you, Stephanie. I’m sure our parents and teachers meant well by trying to inculcate the quality of humility in us but somewhere our sense of self-esteem and assertiveness got affected too! Kudos for breaking the family cycle – one kid, one family at a time!

I can relate to accepting compliments about one’s appearance. Anyone who has had teenage acne or puppy fat has to work on accepting that the caterpillar has evolved into a butterfly. My Dad guided me through the acne years by telling me that I had brains that were far superior to acne free skin. It kept me going!

I really relate to your comments on how people are raised. Complements were not handed out often when I was young. (Or if they were, I was too self conscious to hear them.) We were to stay modest and humble. As a mom, I chose to break that family cycle and teach healthy gratitude for the complements we receive as well as how to give them with sincerity and authenticity.

It has taken me years of practice to accept a complement graciously. When I was younger I could not even respond! I would turn red and walk away, not even realizing how rude I was being. Over the years, I have been fortunate to have mentors that have helped me see what I was doing. When someone complements us, they are blessing us. To push it off or diminish it is actually to push that person away.

My transition was in phases. At first, it was easier for me to accept complements for things that I did well. I could graciously say thank you. However, it took me up until the last few years to be able to do the same when someone complemented my appearance. I still find myself occasionally down-playing the complement when it is in regards to how I look. Fortunately, I catch myself now and can switch to a simple “thank you.”

Like the saying goes, Practice makes Perfect. It does take time to get to #1 but when we do, the feeling is sublime. Thanks for dropping by at the blog, Tai

Hi Debra! Thanks for visiting the Blog. I agree that observing others can tell us a lot about ourselves. Accept the sincere compliment and know that you have earned it is empowering. When we bring the ‘but’ into our acceptance, there is a danger that the person who gives the compliment might start doubting if the compliment was well-deserved.

When someone compliments me, I say “thanks” vs. “thanks, but….”
🙂
~Debra

Thanks for visiting my blog and an even bigger Thank You for the compliment! Our childhood training to be humble and self-deprecating somehow gets translated into the unassertive tendency to be uncomfortable with compliments, even when we know we have done a good job. The best way is to spread happiness with a return compliment.