The ability to see the silver lining in a dark cloud requires a high degree of Emotional Intelligence, Lesa. You’ve got it! One of the ways I’ve found to handle negative or challenging situations is to try to see something good in a situation, similar to your being grateful the roofing defect was noticed sooner rather than later. Best of luck with your court case.

It reminded me of the time a global accounting firm refused to give me a job on my return to India even though I was qualified and had impeccable references. The HR Manager gave the excuse that the firm didn’t hire returning expats until they had lived in India for 18 months. My response at the time was ‘what if the firm ceased to exist in 18 months?‘

The HR Manager smirked a bit. But here’s what happened. A few months later I got a job as a Finance Manager where this firm was the Auditor and the Partners and staff treated me like a Queen because I was the client.

Even better, this firm ceased to exist 18 months later after the Enron fiasco!

But not everyone is comfortable with this approach, so I don’t try to convince anyone else to adopt it. Heck, there are only a few people who I am comfortable talking about my own life this way!

For example, we had our roof replaced Fall of 2017. It started leaking the next Spring (the roofing company refused to fix it, so we are taking them to court, but that’s a story for another time). Most people would see that leak as something to get depressed and sad about, but not me. I see it as a gift. A really annoying gift, but a gift nonetheless. Because without it, we would not have known how horrible a job these roofers did until 5 or 10 or 20(!) years from now after significant damage was done to our home (think requiring the removal of the entire roof, including the rafters) and the roofing company was no longer in business.

You’re welcome, Meghan. Positive thinking can’t be maintained on a long term basis without the right mindset and its mindset that supports us on our journey.

That’s precisely the point, Zeenat. One can’t expect to be told ‘be positive’ and everything will be ok. It takes wor k on oneself to develop a positive attitude and mindset. I’m so glad you raised this point. Thank you!

You must read the book, Kathleen. I promise you you’ll love it.

Thank you, dear Cindy. I know where you’re coming from. I go through the same around the time of my father’s anniversary and while it doesn’t hurt as much as it did the first year, it’s not the best time to expect me to be Susie Sunshine either. It’s going to be 15 years this September and I’ve learned to use the day in gratitude and prayer and wait for the next day. Luckily my friends know I’ve shared deep bonds with both parents and are supportive. By the way, I can’t lie to save my life. Maybe that’s why my teacher in Junior School always made me the Class Monitor. 🙂

How we handle life’s event is more important than the concept that we have to fake-it-until-we-make-it positive attitude. I don’t want to be fake. Actually, it’s not in my DNA. I’m a horrible liar and cannot fake anything (not even an orgasm). Perception is a key element and so is love. We can be positive all we want; if there’s no love of Self (or others) positivity is sure to ring a negative tone.

Thank you, Vatsala. I needed to read this. Much love to you…